hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

[una mas]

hi all!!
grrr! this is my 2nd try.. i'm new to all this malarky so here goes!! managed to post a reply to a thread so maybe i'm on my computer's good side now!!
well been reading stuff on this site since saturday... that was when BF went out for 6 hours when i thought he was only gonna be gone for 2... boo!! so i was sitting sulking at my local bar, pint of beer in hand feeling cross and neglected blah blah but it actually gave me the time to think (again!!) about my "problems" which always seemed to me to be external... BF's fault, work's fault, friend's fault.. but then also was thinking about my excessive drinking.. been like it for years.. you know drink when i'm happy, drink when i'm sad, drink if i was worried.. sort of occurred to me... maybe it's the AL?! (think i knew it but couldn't/wouldn't admit it!)
so back home, looking on internet for anything that made any sense or that would help and here i am!!
just wanted to say that by reading every day what you have all written has really helped me to get a grip.. and i'm looking forward to interacting on here instead of being a passive observer!!
was drinking every night, between 6 beers to half bottle of vodka or more, no respite.. last time i strung 2 AF days together was 3 years ago!! and through you lot and journalling madly i have now managed (nearly!) 4 days AF!!! yaaaay!!!
aiming for 2 weeks but feel the one day at a time approach is a good idea...
so just here to say hello and thank you for all your posts as they really help people just looking for answers and guidance!!!
ps sorry it's a bit long, single mother-no adult company syndrome....!! and it's bloody hard giving up the brew! aaargh!!
:new::goodjob:

[startingover]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Hi Una and a big welcome!
Yes I can relate to drinking for every emotion going! And the blame thing....
4 days af? Thats impressive...
Here is amazing, I never thought I could learn to control my drinking, but thanks to the people here and everything I have learnt, I am actually doing it! Life is better than before.
Have you read the book? Just wondered if you had a plan or are you white knuckling at the moment?

[Simple Simon]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Hi, you must be from the UK. "malarky", "in for a penny in for a pound", etc

Anyway, any AF time should be celebrated. Keep on keeping on.........that's all I can offer right now as I'm newly sober myself. There is a hell of a lot of good advice on these boards. Listen, learn and hopefully get better.

Si

[startingover]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Hiya Simon, welcome to you too!
are you UK based?

[una mas]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

hey you two!! thanks for replying...makes me feel wanted!! awww!! and startingover yes i'm whiteknuckling at the moment.. because my sort of plan is...
1. lets try sheer will power first.. not done it before- thought i was too weak, and i was then!! didn't want sobriety enough i guess!!
2 if that doesn't work then on to the book and supplements...mind you getting the book for me is a problem.. crashed and burned my credit cards many years ago.. so then have to involve outside party..hmmm.
3. hypnosis cds.. don't have much money so that is putting me off- that and my invisible credit cards!
Don't really fancy the medication stuff but if all else fails then that's next on my shopping list!! i want to try modding after a while of not drinking and see how i go.. if that is too dodgy for me i guess it will be total AF but i just can't imagine NEVER having a drink again..!!!!
so there's my sort of plan. oh and i'm writing lots and lots in my journal.. and looking into improving my self esteem.. did the test and came out in the bottom low low group eek!! so am looking at an all round MOT for my head and body
and yes si i am from england but now living in spain!! thanks for replying and lets stick at it together eh?!! read somewhere that these quitting things work better with a buddy or 10...i'm inclined to agree!!
am keeping my options open and looking at the basic problems hoping that once they are improved the smaller probs will iron out a bit! ever hopeful!! xxx

[una mas]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

hey you two!! thanks for replying...makes me feel wanted!! awww!! and startingover yes i'm whiteknuckling at the moment.. because my sort of plan is...
1. lets try sheer will power first.. not done it before- thought i was too weak, and i was then!! didn't want sobriety enough i guess!!
2 if that doesn't work then on to the book and supplements...mind you getting the book for me is a problem.. crashed and burned my credit cards many years ago.. so then have to involve outside party..hmmm.
3. hypnosis cds.. don't have much money so that is putting me off- that and my invisible credit cards!
Don't really fancy the medication stuff but if all else fails then that's next on my shopping list!! i want to try modding after a while of not drinking and see how i go.. if that is too dodgy for me i guess it will be total AF but i just can't imagine NEVER having a drink again..!!!!
so there's my sort of plan. oh and i'm writing lots and lots in my journal.. and looking into improving my self esteem.. did the test and came out in the bottom low low group eek!! so am looking at an all round MOT for my head and body
and yes si i am from england but now living in spain!! thanks for replying and lets stick at it together eh?!! read somewhere that these quitting things work better with a buddy or 10...i'm inclined to agree!!
am keeping my options open and looking at the basic problems hoping that once they are improved the smaller probs will iron out a bit! ever hopeful!! xxx

[una mas]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

hey startingover just realised you're from uk too!!! cool!

[Habsfan]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Hey Una!

Congrats on Day 4 - I'm there too. Have read from more than a few folks here that Day 4 can be a big challenge.

I've already noticed an improvement in sleeping ability and general well being. Being AF is definitely worth it so hang in there. Good for you for posting and acknowledging the encouragement you've received from others. Glad to see you're wanting to give back by offering support to others on the site!

The 10 most important words in the English language...... if it is to be, it is up to me

All the best, Habsfan :new:

[startingover]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Yep I am from UK!
Hi Habs, you are doing great. Sleeping is amazing when we arent chucking poison into our systems isnt it?
Una, I use the supps to stop my cravings and they really do work. If you are struggling I would recommend you try the kudzu and lglutamine. They are the ones that help me.
I havent used the cds but rely heavily on the support here cos that REALLY works and improving my attitude, that helps too!
My life has improved dramatically in the last 4+ months. If you could have seen me then and now, well it is amazing. My depression was off the scale, my anxiety was affecting me badly. Oh yes and I felt ill all the time.
It does get easier and the rewards get greater.
I am glad you are all here.

Love this Habs....if it is to be, it is up to me

[una mas]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

hi back again!!
had to feed the bairn!! gotta get her to bed soon... but it's really great being able to talk on here!!
i'm doing better than i imagined i would and feel much better in my head for it too!! not physically still feel rubbish but then i've got a cold too so.. not sure if it's withdrawal or just the cold!! i've not had good sleep yet though.. 2 nights i've had bad nightmares- real scary stuff.. the ones you have to get out of bed and move around cos they scared you so much!! have read this may happen but to be fair i've always had really lucid dreams...!!!
not had to do a social as yet though, that will be tough! sort of thought it best to avoid it until i felt stronger.. had a plan to ask my close friend to order for me as i don't trust myself not to say VODKA AND COKE please!! just trips off the tongue.. no thought process required.. BUT at least i have a plan in place for when i do go out.. don't have much of a social life so really don't want to lose what little i have, know what i mean?!!

[startingover]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Oh yes, know exactly what you mean about socialising. I did my first one about a month ago, was OK but boy was I scared. Was good looking in the mirror at the end of the evening and not seeing a dishevelled drunken wreck staring back at me!

[una mas]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

well done!!! THAT is just the place i want to be in... and it is what i am aiming for... you give me inspiration and hope!!! Excellent behaviour! BIG pat on the back for you!!
When i'm out for the First Time....
i shall think of you....!!

[startingover]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

It took me 3 months to pluck up the courage :-)

[Simple Simon]

hellooo!! i'm in for a penny, in for a pound!!

Hi again Starting and Una

(Una....Bairn is another one of my favorite words).

Yes, I'm in the Uk London. Just catching up with a tacky tv show "I'm a Celebrity". Trying to while away the AF hours.

Can't stop blooming sneezing for some reason. It can't be hayfever at this time of year!

Si, x