DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

[kaponium]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Madders - God, how you understand! 7 years, well I have had 18 months, two years, then like, 6 months, 5 months, and most recently 5 weeks, 7 weeks........two weeks today - One Day At A Time, and we climb that bloody mountain One step at a time. One day is AWESOME, it is the hardest. Two weeks ago I left a full bot of vod behind, as I just couldn't take it any more.....I didn't like who I had become - AGAIN. As for teenagers, soay no more! Gotta love'em....Bless you - stay strong. Down here the maoris say "kia kaha" for stay strong, and it sounds real nice.

[IAD]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Maddiva......My first cousin was a bouncer, manager at a night club. He threw some bumb out one night , later while he was outside the club checking ID's.....he was gunned downed. Same bastard....no witnesses. Unsolved ! Life's a bitch !! IAD. ( His Dead Photo was plastered over the front page of the local news paper.....thank you very much ! Shit ! I need to forget about crap like that, sorry. IAD.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

IAD - I am sorry, I did not want to upset anyone. I was only explaining. You have my 150% sympathies, that is horrid. Life is precious, it is a gift and yet it is treated with no respect and cheap. Please forgive me. Should I delete yet another post? I was also trying to explain, why I hit the bottle. I really did, big time. It was too difficult for me to deal with. I had nightmares, got angry, got bitter, got drunk and felt better. Now I get sober. Once upon a time, I thought life was nice. I never imagined such bad people existed. I really did not. Then they were in my life, totally uninvited. They ruined 9 years of my life as I struggled to comprehend human nature. Do not worry, honestly, justice is divine. You may think they have got away with it, but can you see into their lives? No. What goes around does come around and murder has this rippling affect. The victim is dead, but you are trapped and just bobbing up for air. They have not won for as soon as the bullet was shot it was on a head way course back to them in a different way. I am shaking now cos I think I have upset you and that is so not my wish. My life has not been the easiest, but I want to get better so I can do better. As for posting your dead relatives pictures that is unsensitive and wicked. Shame on them. Remember life can be dignified. Be dignity. Give me a donkey smile. And good on yer daughter for becoming an equine vet. I wish I could do that. Mind you I would hit the bottle every time an animal died, so maybe not the best plan. Honestly, I can never do right for doing wrong. You know you must talk about these things. You really must. I am just beginning to. It is hard. It really ruined me. Imagine having phonecalls from the killer taunting you, knowing you can do nothing. That is what we have had to put up with. Standing up is the hardest thing to do. You can do it. Cos if 5ft 3inch of me can then so can you............. PLEASE BE OK. HERE IF EVER YOU NEED.

[IAD]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Don't worry Maddiva.....this is the naked city, shit like this happens all the time. I had'nt thought about it for along time......Oh well we march on. If I were to think about death, as Nam Vet.......I'd go nuts... IAD.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

TO ONE2MANY. It is ok. I am over it now. Drank the grief out of me. Now I get sober that is the biggest test of all. See we all have reasons why we kick off. Once upon a time, I was nice and sweet. My sister dying in such a manner was a catalyst for me. Cos it made me stop and smell the coffee. Albeit after I had drank the entire shop out of wine :H I am so worried I think I upset IAD but I never meant to. I feel sick cos of that. I am evolved and have figured certain things out. Human Nature is cruel at times. It is that simple. If everyone on here was to go deep into their soul they would pull out something that was a catalyst. I just am pulling it out. It is all in order for me to get better. Selfish I know. So do not worry, be ok. I am fine. Not crying like a baby anymore. Am focused and still at base camp. :h You ok. Was it too graphic?? Did I upset you?? Never meant. I gave you an insight into the life of the very MAD MADDIVA:H

[IAD]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

I'm good Maddiva, really.....I can deal !! IAD Thanks for your concern.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

IAD

gee thanks. I was worried for a time there. Would not want to hurt anyone. I know it is shocking any wonder I have post traumatic stress disorder? That is just one aspect of my life if I told you all the rest you would all get drunk. Saying 'what the hell?' But I am not for I am in base camp and those drunk days are behind me. Do you know my philosophy? I say 'fuck em!!!!!!!!!'. Life is a bitch at times but life is also very beautiful. So find the beauty and stay sober. Right I am off line now. I blame WIP for this cos it is he/she who told me to post and I am obsessive and get carried away. The dogs are demanding yet another walk. Daren't let them out incase they crap in the neighbours yard. Not in the mood to deal with neighbours today. As for NAM or Vietnam you hardly look old enough. I loved the deer hunter film. I went through a phase of showing my kids 'classics'. It nearly killed them to watch this film as no blood and gore was there from start to finish and it had a story. I kept on watching them, watching the film and laughing at them. I still don't think they got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:H Nevermind. Entertaining for me the very mad MADDIVA:thanks::h

[bloggy]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Maddiva- life is horribly cruel, but thankfully most of us have never had to experience such terrible things as you have gone through.

I hope I am not speaking out of turn when I say that IAD will be OK- I think your post just sparked of a terrible memory for him, that he would have preferred not to remember but that is not to say you should not have posted. You need to get all these awful things out in the open I think- sometimes we begin reading a thread where we do not expect to read such dreadful atrocities, and when we have read it is too late, but I am a firm believer in if we come across that thread and read it is because it was something we were supposed to know on our life path. I am so sorry you had to go through this, and if it is helpful for you to talk about it I am always happy to receive a PM.

The very best of luck to you on your Everest climb- I am sure you will make it though.

:l

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Marbella I have returned from my dog walk. And you sent me a post today that made me cry. I could not believe it. Not sure if the music was to blame or the images or both. Nontheless, I had to get a grip. I believe in God, for who do you think carried me through? The Angels exist as does god and that may provoke people saying they do not. But I know that they do. Not sure if the bible is true, but some higher power is there. And that I do believe.

[bloggy]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

Maddiva- that made me cry buckets too- it has been on my mind all day and is a huge inspiration to all of us who may be struggling I think.

The video was posted on a religious site, but I believe has been posted on You tube and lots of other sites too- I will repost it here because I think it got buried in the other thread and many people did not see it who may have got some benefit from it.

Quote:

I thought this video may inspire you Maddiva, and the rest of us that might relapse.

"A son asked his father, ‘Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?’. The father who, despite having a heart condition, says ‘Yes’.

They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying ‘Yes’ to his son’s request of going through the race together.

One day, the son asked his father, ‘Dad, let’s join the Ironman together.’ To which, his father said ‘Yes’ too. For those who don’t know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses
three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together."

I warn you- it's a tear jerker.

GodTube.com - My Redeemer Lives - Team Hoyt


Hmm- can't get the video on- you have to click on the link above.

[Evie.Lou]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

I will be at the submit, (not over the hill) ???? meet you there.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

SEE AND GOD SENT ME ANGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES MARBELLA YOU POST THAT COS THAT DID REALLY MAKE ME CRY. IT DESERVES A SITE TO ITSELF. I AM REELING FROM IT. THE THING IS 'LOVE'. THAT FOUR LETTER WORD AND YOU JUST FELT THE LOVE. I TOO THOUGHT OF IT. I WATCHED IT, CRIED AND HAD TO GO OUT INTO THIS BIG BAD WORLD. I CANNOT WATCH IT NOW COS IT IS TOO DEEP FOR ME AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT AND I WILL SOB ALL NIGHT. I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. WHAT A MAN. WHAT AN INSPIRATION. WHAT A LIGHT. I AM SO NOT AN EVANGELIST(NEVER CAN SPELL THAT WORD) BUT YOU KNOW THE SORT. AINT THAT SORT. VERY HUMBLE ME. I MUST ADMIT IT SHOCKED ME AND IT MAKES A CHANGE FROM THE GARBAGE THAT IS ON YOU TUBE - QUESTION (WHAT IS THAT ABOUT??????????) MY SON SHOWED ME THE INFAMOUS RUSSIAN SOLDIER. IT WAS HORRIFIC. ANY WONDER WE LIVE AS WE DO TODAY. IT IS BAD. HE MADE ME WATCH IT. AND NO DON'T YOU WATCH IT UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE BEHEADING LIVE. IT IS SICK. BUT THAT VIDEO YOU POSTED IS WORTH A MILLION OF THEM. WILL THEY EVER HEAR?????????????:l

[bloggy]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

One day Maddiva, I am sure one day very soon we will all hear.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

AND YOU EVIE LOU ARE JUST AN ANGEL IN PERSON. I BELIEVE THAT. SO ALL IN ALL YOU ARE GOOD. HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT MARBELLA POSTED? I THINK IT IS THE MOST AMAZING THING. IT MADE ME CRY. IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. UNBELIEVABLE, BUT REAL. I CAN. THE WORDS AT THE END. AND WE CAN. WE ARE NEARLY THERE. SHAME ON US FOR LETTING THE FOE GRIND US TO THIS HALT. I FEEL SO ASHAMED.:h LOVE AND LIGHT SENT TO YOU EVIE LOU AS ALWAYS. THE LIGHT SHINES FROM YOUR HEART AND I CAN SEE IT.

[maddiva]

DAY ONE OF THE EVEREST EXPEDITION

ANSWER ME THIS. WHY DO WE LIVE IN SUCH A WORLD WHERE HORRID IS AN EVERYDAY ACCEPTANCE. I CANNOT GET IT. I APOLOGISE TO THE FLY FOR ZAPPING IT, COS I HATE FLIES, THEY ARE DIRTY. YET THERE ARE SOME WHO CAN GO OUT AND DO THE MOST ATROCIOUS CRIMES AND KILL OTHERS AND NOT FEEL ANYTHING. HOW CAN THAT BE?? IN MY TENT AT THE BASE CAMP, I HAVE TO ASK. AM I MAD? I KNOW THE FLY HAS A RIGHT, BUT WHY AND HOW DO YOU ARRIVE AT A PLACE YOU WOULD WANT TO INFLICT SUCH EVIL ON ANOTHER PERSON? YOU KNOW WE LOSE BEAUTY. WE LOST THE VERY NATURE OF HUMANITY. WE DRINK. BIG DEAL. WE GET BETTER. BUT WHY?? THAT WOULD BE MY QUESTION FOR THE DAY. I AM NOT LIKE THAT. FORGET MY WANKER AND THE C--- WORD, THAT IS EXPRESSION, NOTHING MORE. ME, I AM KIND, SO TO BE SO EVIL IS BEYOND ME. I HAD TO LEARN, BUT WHAT IS THIS LIFE ABOUT??