I was doing pretty well and then relapsed the same as before, about three weeks ago. I have been very discouraged. I spent the last hour reading various posts here. So now, back to Day One, and only 10:30 am. so a long way to go. My style is sipping all day long, so there is no time that's a safety zone. I had all the supps, topa, the book, &c, everything except succeeding. I don't understand it at all except moderation was not moderate. I did plan today as one with a lot of commitments so I will be away from home and that should help.
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Relapsed, Regretful
" I don't understand it at all except moderation was not moderate. "
I cannot moderate either. I accept it and realize that being AF is the only way for me....to be me.
Keep trying.
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Relapsed, Regretful
Snowgoose,
I think we can all relate to how you are feeling. If I had a dollar for all my "day 1s".....
Just don't give up. It is so worth it. Keep trying
:l
Ak:flower: I'm not as good as I'm gonna get, but I'm better than I used to be.
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Relapsed, Regretful
Snow, I hear you. I also got an "all-day" habit. Funny how that works. You don't drink a lot at all. But just sip all day. For other who don't know; it means 1-2 drinks at 5pm and a nightcap at 9pm, an put-me-to-sleep at 2am, a wake-me-up at 6am, and with luck we can get through to 5pm again.
The reason is simple. You are accommodating a dependency. Your "Smart" brain is doing the best it can to keep the "Mood" brain happy. Your mood brain needs it's dosing of alcohol and alcohol by-products on a regular basis. It mimics some natural body chems, but much more so.
It's not awful. You are not a bad person. It's just a chemical. It is no crime that your body is trying to keep a balance, albeit a chemical induced balance.
I wrote a piece called "Gaining Traction". Here's a link
http://www.box.net/shared/static/t81snedyvi.pdfComment
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Relapsed, Regretful
Stick with us Snowgoose. You can do this. You have all the Tools; just put them to work for you."Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)Comment
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Relapsed, Regretful
I read BossMan's paper--very interesting and scientific also smart, and thanks. I need all the help I can get. My son will be home on college break pretty soon, and I don't want to be a disappointment to him. Really--or to me. I was feeling so much better, then tippled backwards.Comment
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Relapsed, Regretful
In my mind it's not so bad to say "I'm chemically dependent".
Because it begs the question: "So what are you going to do about it?"Comment
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Relapsed, Regretful
Keep smiling.....I looked at photos of my kids today to remind myself why it is so important not to give up on being AL FREE. I want to remember all the time we spend together....All the best to you, it's definitely not easy to break out of this dependency and false illusion of happiness in the bottle....Comment
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