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    I was sober for 5 years. Then about 4 months ago I relapsed. I just can't get through the cravings. I never want to be where I was 5 years ago. I am not drinking everyday yet. But if I don't get on track I will be. In these short 4 months I have already missed work several times. I have severe anxiety and panic the next after drinking. That is what kept me going 5 yeas ago, so I wouldn't have to feel the panic. So I would just drinkmore. I went to the DR last month and she but me on campral and increased my dosage of klonapin. But O am scared of the klonapin because it is addictive also. I am suppose to be on 4mg a day. But right now I am taking 2mg. Yesterday, I had such a bad craving I just couldn't get through it. I hadn't drank for about 5 days at that time. I really don't even like how alcohol makes me feel. But when I have a craving that is all that matters. I hate it. I am just so mad at myself for picking up in the first place. Also everytime I do drink I am so depressed the next day. The days after I don't feel depressed, just when I drink. I wish I never picked back up in the first place!!!!

    #2
    new here

    welcome

    Hello Peacetiff.and welcome. You will find plenty of support here. I just wanted to extend an invitation to you to come visit the 'Newbies Nest' thread....a wonderful group of people offering their support as they start out here. All the best.
    Renewal

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      #3
      new here

      Welcome Peace
      I can so relate to all that you have said. I picked up a drink after 10 years without one. It has been a struggle to maintain any long term sobriety since. The longest stretch that I have had since then is a year and a half. I also have problems with anxiety/panic attacks and was on klonopin for years. You are right to be concerned. It was horrible to get off of them, but I was told in rehab that I must, so I did. Are you using the MWO program. May I suggest that you start by reading the book, and then filling your toolbox. There is a toolbox thread here that you may find helpful. Also, please, do join us in the Newbies Nest. You will find that you are not alone. I look forward to getting to know you. The first step is up to you, as I'm sure you realize.
      "Decide-Which Voice in Your Head you Can Keep Alive" (Shinedown)

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