Hello and looking for advice

[IrishChef]

Hello Everyone:
I fond this site when I was looking online for help. I am a 28 year old man who has been drinking since i was 16 or so. When I was in my late teens to early twenties I drank very heavy on a regular basis. I had multiple run ins with the law including 2 DWI. I quit dirinking for a little while and then I met my wife whom I have been married to for 4 and a half years. I drink now on a regular basis and for the most part it causes me no problems i guss you could call me a functional alocholic I have a well paying job and a nice house. I never miss work of go to work hung over. My real problem is not my regular drinking it is my irregular drinking. For the most part I am a home body and I have only a couple drinks or my drinking is spaced over a number of hours. Or if I go out with my wife I keep myself under control or I should say my wife keeps me under control. But the problem is if i go out by myself i get into trouble just this past saturday night I went out planning on being home by 12am and I didn't stumble in until 2am and i was completley wasted. I can't seem to control myself in those type of situations. I am looking for help I do not want to lose my wife and i want a future with children not alone with a bottle. I am not sure if I can find a balance and the control to drink responsibly. So for now I have decided to stop complety. I am looking for advice from anyone. Thank you all very much

[KAT20]

Hello and looking for advice

Hello Irishchef and welcome, Alcohol problems can be progressive over the years as I have learned. I started young as well and did'nt see a problem till the past several years. I have discovered for myself that I am someone who cannot handle alcohol anymore so I don't. Took awhile to get there but it is possible and only you can decide the correct plan of action for yourself. I also had to work on coping skills. Is it possible when your wife is not around you are alone with your emotions and thoughts and it is overwhelming ? Keep coming here reading and posting.

[Bandit]

Hello and looking for advice

Hi IrishChef and welcome
I too would have regarded myself as a functional alcoholic until the last year or so when it really did start interfering with things like work etc., also started drinking during the day not just at night and it really affected my relationship with my husband and kids. I have tried cutting back a number of times and sometimes did well but then always went back to drinking too much so I have given up completely. I am finding it hard and today for some reason is very difficult for me but I know this is the only way out for me.
As others say, read the MWO book and make your plan.
Wishing you the all the best

xx

[Cheech66]

Hello and looking for advice

chef,

I am starting af (alcohol free) today and im really shakey so advice would be tough for me to give!!! I can say this I went af for 6 mos that was 6 mos ago now. I have to say that the toughest thing for me the first time around was admiting to myself that I had to go af!!! I am one of those people that if i have a 6 pack I will drink it 12 18 pack gone if I have it. Al is a real personal thing I had to search my sole the first time to realize I am an all or nothing guy!!! So here I am again???? I can say this, this site was the best thing for me the first time going AF and that is why I am back!!!! Good luck Chef I will look for you and offer up what ever advice I can!!

Peace be with you and all of us here
Cheech66

[neurogenic]

Hello and looking for advice

Hi Chef,

just wanted to say welcome. I dont have loads of advice as am a novice "AF'er" but you have done the best thing coming here and admitting you have a problem and want to do something about. Litsen to those who give advice, these guys n gals know what they are talking about. As for the rest of us, we're your buddies, we are fresh, our wounds very raw so can certainly help you in not feeling alone.

I have managed 9 days AF so far, I'm in mid 30s and last time I ever had 5 days af was at university! It can be done, it is not easy, you just need a reason and the number 1 reason should be for you. Your wife and your future family could be number 2. I dont know what my future holds, would love to think that one day i could execute self control and enjoy 2 glasses of wine and stop. Trughtfully, I dont think thats on the cards. Im just going to grit my teeth, see how I can do.

Keep stopping by, you have tonnes of support here

[Fidel]

Hello and looking for advice

IrishChef, Howzit, welcome.......

I agree with Bandit here ....... I was a functional alcoholic for 25 years, in that alcohol never caused any problems in any area of my life.
But that slowly, without me knowing, changed. It was only after observing myself from outside that I realised I had to take action.
If I can now be on my 13th AF day, ANYONE can be.

Be strong, bud ......

[Bella]

Hello and looking for advice

Hi Chef and welcome...Its interesting how you manage to control your drinking when in company of your wife but then lose that control when out alone....I can relate to that. I am very controlled when my husband is around but then go mad when i am let out !!! I think its a release thing with me...no one to control me and i feel free. Ahh well, youve come to the right place to find support and read all the posts...there is something for everyone here. Good luck and stay awhile. Bella XXX

[MichaelM]

Hello and looking for advice

Hey there IrishChef!!! thank you for your support on my post. Feel free to contact me anytime if you need some support. I also wanted to thank everyone on here for the support I got on my "first" day here. I have to say, I feel like I am off to a great start. I am a HUGE football fan and a HUGE Tampa Bay Bucs fan...well, they happened to play last night on Monday Night Football. The reason why I am telling you this, is because...for me to watch football and not have at least 10 - 12 beers...is UNHEARD of. Not to mention just the excuse of Monday Night Football to drink. Instead, I had dinner with my wife and son and I drank water w/ organic apple cider vinegar. (Takes some getting used to, but makes you feel great. and its great for you) I used to drink that when I had gone through recovery my first time. It killed 2 birds with one stone. I found that it took my cravings away to drink hard liquor and beer and I knew it was really good for me. Anyway, I woke up refreshed this morning, knowing that I didn't drink last night and couldn't wait to get online thank everyone for their support. IrishChef...it sounds like this place is a great place for us to get our heads in the right direction. I hope I see you in here often. Thanks again for your support.

[neurogenic]

Hello and looking for advice

Michael M,

thats a fantastic positive post. Glad you are feeling good, good for you, keep it going,

hi to all, quiet here on the equator, so nothing major to report, but hoping everybody coping well with Wednesday,

Neuro

[CS04]

Hello and looking for advice

Irish Chef,
I worked for many years in the restaurant business (in the US) and there was a huge party atmosphere...which I admit I loved (at the time). There is a certain energy to the rest biz that keeps you going, despite what you know is bad for you. This was for me a good 15 or so years ago but I imagine that spirit lives on. So you have double trouble. But, there have been many restaurant people that have come to MWO and been successful...and you can be the next one! And it's not just about your being a 'restaurant person.' You are a person who has concerns and we can all help each other.

We all have many things in common; the greater reason, a want and need to get better. Welcome.

p.s. and a lot of us like to talk about food! you'll find us in chat!