ONE DAT AT A TIME Friday

[Peanut]

ONE DAT AT A TIME Friday

Hey gang!TGIF

Christmas party last night - drank soda and lime, but my BF was behaving rather drunkenly initially. We left for the party very soon after I arrived home from work. So I got him a shot of tequila and a beer, which he quickly drank, but I couldn't figure out why he seemed so drunk? Well, turns out he had drank a shot of scotch, a shot of tequila and 2 beers before we left. Well, no wonder, you banana!!!!!! I did drink some wine when we got home though.

Uni - best to you dealing with your feelings. I lost my mother last Dec. 5th, and so last friday, I was so tired and didn't want to do anything but sit in my big chair and read, but the book I had was a Simone de Beauvoir short memoir called "A very easy death", about her mother dying from cancer. Aiy!!!! What the heck and I reading this for - my mother died of cancer too. I suppose it was a fitting book for the day. I called one of my sibs to talk and just make some family contact. I miss her, and almost every other day I think "she died too young" (she was 73), or "I wish she didn't die", or "I wish I could talk to her". Not sure if I ever properly grieved, as sometimes I don't even think she is gone. My concern is now my poor old dad - he is declining rapidly with dimentia/alzheimers and aphasia - it is the most cruel, saddest thing I've seen!!!

OK - must cheer up here!!!! On a positive note, I finally bought a Christmas present, a camera for my daughter. I feel marginally better to at least have made a start, and hope to maybe get some decorations out and bake cookies this weekend!

Hope everybody has a wonderful weekend with good weather - it was a balmy -1C this morning but the temp is supposed to plumet by tomorrow!!!
xoxox peanut

[universal]

ONE DAT AT A TIME Friday

Hi Peanut,

I think that was a fitting book to read on the anniversary. I know the one thing my therapist has told me to do (which will be hard) is to write a letter to mom telling her that I miss her, my memories of her, why did she have to go so young (she was only 55), and generally just talk about the things I miss about her but putting it all out there on paper. It's going to be hard and I know I'll have a HUGE emotional cry when I do it but I think I'll feel better after.

Anyway - don't know if that's something that would help you or not.

Have a good weekend guys.

[Peanut]

ONE DAT AT A TIME Friday

That might be a good thing for me to do also. I really haven't dealt with it at all - I just push the feelings away. I had thought that I would have a major breakdown after she was gone, because at the time I felt I had to be so strong for my kids and nieces and nephews - don't cry too much, hold it together. And, strong for her too, as I spent some of her last days with her at home helping her, when she was super sick - it was hard, but I think I held all my fear and sadness inside when I was with her. She never wanted to admit that she just might not make it, so we had to always be so positive!!
So, although it will be hard for you to write that letter, it is a good idea, and I might just have to try that too.
Thanks Uni!!!
xo peanut