Please, just help

[akgirl]

Please, just help

Kid Shelleen;493548 wrote: (And that's pretty darn inexpensive! Glad you remembered the address for her.)

I am still waiting fot the web address, I will let you know Verita

[Ripple]

Please, just help

Let me tell you .. i know someone who drank on Antabuse .. he almost died. Very close to death .. it is not good. i know you need help. please call someone to be with you. Please be safe.

Love Ripp.

[akgirl]

Please, just help

The address is medsmex.com It was about 30 bucks she said. I hope it works for you. Just be very careful, it is scary stuff.

Sending good wishes your way
:l
Ak

[Jas56]

Please, just help

Thinking and praying for the both of us Veritas. I would love a drink myself right about now but the -25 weather is keeping me in and also the fact that it is 1/2 hr. to town to get a bottle.

My DH might lose his job and I feel helpless - I do understand!

[Seacailin]

Please, just help

Welcome Veritas
You have been given some great advice already. I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that I will be here for you. You deserve to be Happy:l

[river0123]

Please, just help

Veritas, something that helped me was to think of my hand as a quadriplegic. It can do nothing without my will.

Just want to welcome you and let you know that when you feel weak, we'll be here to help you fight the fight.:l

[veritas]

Please, just help

Thanks so much for all your support.
I have decided, come hell or high water, I am going to start antebuse.. today.

I am not too bad today. I stopped after 6 drinks. I don't keep alcohol in the house, so I was unable to binge. Six drinks is not a binge for me.

I have to stop, there is no alternative.

I have really gone out of control over the past few years. I think that I have known that I had a problem, almost from my first drink. Somehow, for the first forty years of my life, it never really got out of hand. I had a very busy and successful career that kept me in check. I also did ultra marathon running for many years. The thought of running 50+ kilometres on a queezy stomach gave some control.

Mind you, I do remember a few races where I would have to rush into the bushes due to a red wine tummy.

A few years ago, I made a very poor business decision. I decided to work from home in order to be closer to my children during the day. I am a single parent. I bought a bigger house, then 2 things happened. One: the intrest rate hikes started, in two years my bond repayments escalated by about 30%. Two, my business halved. I thought that I was established enough not to have to rely on "passing traffic". How wrong I was. Before I knew it, I was escalating into more and more debt. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

I have lost everything due to this poor decision. I am also trying to pay off my debt. As you can well imagine, working alone at home with not enough work was just such an invitation to drink. It was lonely and terrifying to see everthing just go.

I have recently been offered an opportunity to start in a new venture. I know that it will get me out of this mess. I also believe that it is an answer to a prayer. The only thing standing in my way is my addiction.

[DeeBee]

Please, just help

Welcome Veritas!

The first step is to acknowlege that you are addicted to AL -- you've done that, good on you! It's not easy, is it? I have found that the simplier I keep my goals the easier and more likely I am to meet them.
Have you read the book MWO yet? It's a great place to start and get a plan together. I understand that you've taken Antabuse before, but what about the suppliments? Antabuse will stop you from drinking but it wont necessarily stop the cravings -- that's where the suppliements really do help.

[veritas]

Please, just help

I will look into that DeeBee.

I have done so much reading on addiction, it does help. I have also bought myself some motivational tapes.
This morning I was reading a section of a gook, "Addiction and Grace" by Gerald May. There was a section on freedom and addiction. I had one of those "aha" moments.
It occurred to me that I tended to make excuses by feeling a victim to my genetics. It never struck me that I more a victim to my own denial of my responsibility to be free.

Strangely, I can go for days without cravings, then suddenly I will just get a bee in my bonnet and undo all the hard won victories. It's as though I don't care about myself or anyone else.

I think one of my best friends has been a rather sensitive stomach. It has kept my consumption in check to a certain extent. It does not take all that much to get me vomiting.
I want to laugh at that statement.. it just shows how crazy addiction is that even vomiting gains a special place.

[Jas56]

Please, just help

Glad you are doing better today Veritas. Me too! Abstained last night - both DH and I. Today might be different but taking it ODAT. The scale showed a slight loss and I do not feel sick about myself so on the right track. I want to go 2 weeks without AL Today is Day 3 - so we will see. Dh i also having trouble with the possible lay offs - pray it doesn't happen so this is an added issue!

I too have made excuses for my genetics - truth be told I am just a drunk and not a good one either! When did it start having such an impact on our lives? A very very very long time ago for me but I just couldn't see for what it was worth! Have a great day.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Please, just help

veritas,

I read your posts and just wanted to welcome you and to say I'm so glad you're feeling better. My choice of pain is white wine, not the red. You sound so determined and intelligent and loving. :l

Take care, I'll stay away from the white if you stay away from the red, deal?

Becoming

[keepwalking]

Please, just help

your addiction will only stand in the way if you let it! open the prison gates and set yourself free, only you can do it V and it sounds to me like you are ready for the challenge go for it, good luck you deserve it x

[veritas]

Please, just help

Thank you all for your replies,
BecomingMeAtLlast, I did have a giggle.:H I'll try to keep my side of the bargain. Thank goodness red often gives me migraine, what a lovely gift.

My head is lovely and clear this morning. I wish that I would remember that when the gremlins creep in later in the day. I have decided that if the cravings get too much, I am going to log on and read stories. Some tell me where I want to be, some tell me about the hell I want to leave behind.

I had my first little victory and good feeling last night. I went out with my daughter for a light supper. She suggested the venue. Only after supper did I realise that it was a non alcoholic eating place. A couple of days ago, I would have made every excuse to go somewhere else.

Today I am going to a family lunch. I know that they will offer me wine. I am rehersing how I will say, "no thanks, I have to drive".

I gave the ante buse some deep thought. I want to try to do without. Problem with me and ante buse, is that I plan my relapses. I know that if I stop for a couple of days, I can drink at a special occasion. Then I have to start all over again. I don't want to repeat that cycle. It leaves me white knuckling, because in my mind, I am always craving.

When I gave up smoking many, many years ago, I went through hell. I did it though and after a while any desire to light up, left. It has been almost 26 years since my last cigarette. I want more than anything else, to reach that with alcohol. I am trying to focus on how great it feels to wake up with a clear head.

I am off now for a short run in the Park with my dogs. I used to be so fit, now I have to remind my muscles what jogging feels like.. and I like the idea of a slim waist again.

[gyco]

Please, just help

o well life goes on,you drink to much,slow down or stop,gyco it is not hard

[Last Of The Summer Wine]

Please, just help

Oh, it is hard!

Hi Gyco

Sorry but I couldn't let your statement pass without commenting! It is hard, it is very, very hard and that is why so many of us are still here, still plugging away at our problem.

Veritas, well done, you should be very proud of yourself for what you have achieved so far. Hope everyone has a good sober Sunday, Christmas is just around the corner and I will struggle again this year, but I will keep on fighting!

Best wishes
Last