Please, just help

[veritas]

I am sipping my sixth drink of the evening. All in 2 hours.
I seem to have tried everything... antebuse.. books, prayer, vomiting.., bad, bad vomiting.

I really hate that I am here..
I wish that I could be otherwise.

I know all the theory. It has helped me shit.

I have prayed, I thought that I really surrendered, but I am still here.

I feel horrible..

[startingover]

Please, just help

Hey Veritas, a big welcome to you!
Sounds like you are on a downer tonight? Can understand that with the drink...
I hate to say this but wishing wont help you hun, its got to be a decision then work.
Have you read the book from here? Might give you some ideas to get a plan together? There are supplements and medications that might help you. Plus reading and posting. ~That helped me loads.
You can download the book from the site to get you started if you want.

[akgirl]

Please, just help

We are here for you, how can we help?

I know it seems bad, AL just makes it worse. Pour it out and try some water. Then talk to us. Tell us about yourself and whats going on. You are off antabuse?

[veritas]

Please, just help

I really wish that I could go onto ante buse.. right now I cannot afford it..

I do not want to drink. It killed my father, it is killing my brother.. it might kill my children.

As for me, there is this lovely label, "functional alcoholic", like Winston Churchill".

How alcoholic am I...?
well I am tyipngslowl.

oops typing slowly..

[Waiting for his way out]

Please, just help

Veritas, this is what I do. Whenever i feel so miserable about my life I make a strong effort to think about everybody else in the world and how their lives are so much worse than mine. I make a list of all things I am lucky to have and thankful for. A good friend of mine taught me the black and white room. in the black room you put all the dark things in the white room you put all the good things. In your position as a nurse you have seen bad things in this world... thinks of the ones you are lucky to have and to be thankful for.
I hope it helps you see a little better. good luck

[akgirl]

Please, just help

A friend of mine ordered it online through someplace (I can find out if you want) it only cost like 20 bucks for a months supply.

Antabuse is the key for me. Just needed to not have the option for awhile. Let my mind clear. Its worth it.

[bloggy]

Please, just help

Veritas, I guess you already know this, but none of us can help you- other than listening to you and trying to be there for you at the low moments.

It took me a long time to realise this but the only people who can really help us are ourselves, and the only way we can do that is by not picking that first drink up.

Could you stop now, and maybe eat something? That always helps me stop when I am in the middle of a binge. Please keep posting and let us know how you are.

[veritas]

Please, just help

akgirl, I would love that..

just to let you know... thinking of those less fortunate.. not a good idea...

I am from Africa.... those less fortunate make my heart bleed.. I am surrounded by pain..
but that is not the problem.
I am an alcoholic, and that is the problem..

[veritas]

Please, just help

I am tired, tired, tired..

the only thing that has really worke is ante buse.. it scares the shit out of me.

I am fighting bankrupsy. I was in a very abusive marriage... and no, at that point, I was not drinking. I took really big risks to get my children away.. one of them, that any minute, someone might knock at my door and demand the little I have left.

[veritas]

Please, just help

akgirl, I would love that..

just to let you know... thinking of those less fortunate.. not a good idea...

I am from Africa.... those less fortunate make my heart bleed.. I am surrounded by pain..
but that is not the problem.
I am an alcoholic, and that is the problem..

[Kid Shelleen]

Please, just help

Yup..

Veritas,
Let's review.
Veritas said:
"I am sipping my sixth drink of the evening. All in 2 hours..."
Not exactly a CHEAP hobby...
Then Veritas said:
"I really wish that I could go onto ante buse.. right now I cannot afford it.."
How much are you spending on alcohol?
Then AKGirl said:
"A friend of mine ordered it online through someplace (I can find out if you want) it only cost like 20 bucks for a months supply."
I respectfully submit:
That is MUCH less than a dollar per day. I don't know what you are spending on alcohol, but I'm thinking it's alot more than $20, if you drink every day like you are today...
I also wonder ,"How can you afford NOT to get back on Antabuse??"
~Kid~

[bloggy]

Please, just help

Kid, while you are right of course, I think we all know when we are drinking common sense and logic does not enter into a lot of things.

Also it must be considered sometimes people don't have credit cards, sometimes the suppliers will not deliver to the country you live in, and sometimes although we spend more in a month on booze than it would cost to get the meds or supplements we can't find the money at the time whereas the booze money can be found daily.

[akgirl]

Please, just help

I PMed her. MM, you out there girl?

[veritas]

Please, just help

thanks, Kid,for bringing me back to earth..

it will cost R400 for ante buse..
R300 for a doctor's appointment.

I have been on ante buse before with good results. It stops this horrible noise in your head.
There is no rationalisation, no argument.. a simple, do you want to feel like you will die or not?

If I continue as I am,

it will be
R20X30=R600

If I break an ante buse tablet in half, take on every second day.. it works..

:thanks:

but I do really need your help..

[Kid Shelleen]

Please, just help

Thanks..

Thanks AK! She said it's helped when she's used it before (And that's pretty darn inexpensive! Glad you remembered the address for her.)
And of course ,Marbella, YOU are right about drinking, common sense and logic. That's why I "reviewed" it in the way I did. Sometimes even the most obvious things elude us until someone points them out, then they become obvious again...
~Kid~

PS:Veritas. Tell us how we can help. There is a whole community here with answers and support