I need help too!

[JIGGER]

I have been here before - a few times but only posted a couple times. I just read Buckles 10 month post and it made me cry to realize the mess I am in. I can relate to everything she wrote. I went 4 weeks AF in May. I need to do it again. I am so sad because my kids are in their teens and I feel I have ruined their childhood. I have always been supportive of them and everything they do but like many here have a drinking problem that puts a dark cloud on all the good things I have done for them. My husband is a worse Alcoholic than me so they have a double whammy. I am functional more than he is and always provide them what they need for school and everything else. I just drink too much trying to "relax". My husband has brought us many financial problems due to not working because of Al. My daughter hates me - most of the time - even though I try to give them the best of me when I am not drinking. I know I must stop first but, the depression over the whole situation seems to bring me back to the bottle. Pretty much every mistake I have ever made in my life is due to Al. I just never learn. Does anyone have any ideas on how to start repairing the damage and re-gaining the trust once al free? I have read that many of us have financial and family problems due to Al. I would love to see a thread on how the successful quitters have begun to fix the problems that they and Al have created. I hope there is still time for my family. I HAVE to do this NOW!! I want to feel good again, I want to be a good Mom more than anything in the world!! Thanks for any advice!!:upset:

[Beaches]

I need help too!

Jigger, start with yourself and getting yourself better. Focus on getting those AF days, your children will notice and will begin trusting again.

[startingover]

I need help too!

Hiya Jigger. Yes, it sounds like you are going through a tough time right now. I dont have kids but what i do know is that now I have stopped drinking I am repairing my other relationships. It doesnt happen over night but it is happening. Drinking will ulitmately make your depression much worse. My depression actually lifted when I stopped. There are many success stories here from people at all different stages of alcholism, you will see lots of things that will resonate with you.
The first thing you have to do is stop drinking. No, thats not easy but its the only way and its possible. It has been proven time and time again.
You can do this you know...

[JIGGER]

I need help too!

Thanks Starting and Beaches - I appreciate the support. Just getting started is the hard part. Actually its all hard. I just need to focus on them and not my stupid Al desires.

[startingover]

I need help too!

Have you read the book? That might give you some inspiration to start?
Yes, its hard, but SO worth it. Its changing that mindset we have but it does happen over a little time. You can do this. The supplements Kudzu and lglutamine really helped me with the cravings too

[JIGGER]

I need help too!

I will be getting some Campral - that helped before. I have the book - I should read again.
I really appreciate all this support - sometimes I feel like the worst person in the world!!

[CS04]

I need help too!

Jigger, I undersrtand how you feel. I did some AF time in May and June, as well as starting anti-deps, but have been a sloppy mess for many months again. I too have kids, I too have a hubby who drinks more than he should but he does not consider himself a "problem." I an out of my ADs around Thanksgiving, so lately I have been feeling really bad -- just got a refill today though. I have done nothing yet for Christmas and our finances are also a mess. I am also trying to come up with a plan, and yes it can be overwhelming.

[JIGGER]

I need help too!

Hey CS04 - thanks for writing it sounds like you and I are very much alike. I want to start now so I am Al free at Christmas - I want to feel good about things again. Yes, financially we have creidtors calling constantly - It seems to have a snowball effect. That is why I would love to hear from people that have gotten AF then dug themselves out - we all need to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Once AF of course.

[Bandit]

I need help too!

Hi Jigger,
Can relate to the financial worries
Both myself and my husband drank but me more so. It is hard to say if our drinking problems came before our financial problems, were a cause or sypmtom of them. A mixture of the two. We made some bad decisions that was for sure.
I started trying to get out of the rut while still drinking but certainly eased off on the booze, giving it up alltogether I think would have been too stressful. The only way I coped was setting a strict budget (in which I allowed some booze) and met all the creditors head on to try and agree some type of pay back system instead of ignoring their letters and calls which is what I was doing before. We still owe money but are a bit more on top of it I have been AF now for awhile and I think one of the reasons I have been able to do so is that I feel that things are a little more in control. I have kids but they are still small but even they did comment a few times about my drinking. i want to nip it in the bud before they get older. I agree though, we all do tons of good things but always get remembered for what we do wrong.
Hope things get better for you and please feel free to pm me if you want to talk about anything

xx

[JIGGER]

I need help too!

Thanks Bandit - I will try and pm you sometime. I am new to all of this still but have talked to great people today. I know that the problems seem so large while drinking and not sleeping. The AL really takes everything away from you. Why does it ever sound like a good idea to drink knowing what is happening. But then you do to numb the reality of it all. You are absolutely right - everyone does remember just the bad and not the good. Thanks for your insight!!

[Evie.Lou]

I need help too!

hope your finding your way around the site OK. If I can help, PM me..

[Seacailin]

I need help too!

Hello and Welcome
I put myself in a financial nightmare due to AL. I lost 3 jobs in one year and my house was up for foreclosure sale. I am single, my kids are in their 20's and two of them live with me. They pay some room and board, but it is rough. I got myself sober using My Way Out, AA and help from my doctor. I got a decent job, and have not only clawed myself out of foreclosure, but got my interest rates reduced. I could have done none of this if I had continued drinking. The number one priority is getting sober, in time, everything else falls into place. Stay close by. Sending you strength.

[Michaela]

I need help too!

A big welcome to you.

I know drinking makes EVERYTHING worse. I lost my job and income has dropped dramatically just a part time job. But, I must say, I am much happier than I was with more money and drinking. I have less money, don't drink, but feel good about myself again. It's worth it. I think like Sea said, things will fall into place. Just takes time and patience.

Best of luck to you.

Mich

[karbihere]

I need help too!

Jigger. what ever you do dont put your hands on your kids...I was in a verbal argument with my snot knows seventeen year old drug addict son and of course I was drinking, it becamse physical as I opened his drawer to drug parh. he came at me and I fell on him and accidently burnt him with my cig. and he called the cops on me. I was arrested for FELONY child abuse I did 35 days in jail, went thru a court ordered nine month out patent program got myself straightened out ( I have 16 months sober) Sat him down told him these are the rules ( which were barley any ) told him booze was no longer making my decisions and I will not tolerate disrespectfulness to me ... He ran away I have not heard from him in over six months. He did not complete 12 th grade never got his license and just bailed back to CA. ( I live in Utah with my wonderful fiancee ) got to let him go !! there is not a day that goes by I do not think Of him in fact Im just getting over a mini nervouse break down, I took myself to a doctor got on a mood stabilizer( that does not help much) but BOTTOM LINE IS I WILL NO DRINK TODAY...If I can do this I know you can... you reallly have to want it.

[DeeBee]

I need help too!

Hi Jigger,

You have already been given great advice, I would just like to re-itterate that you have to do this for YOU. Your children will notice the change in you, and it will be shown in your actions not so much by words.

Sending you strenght to make it to day one AF!!