Made a HUGE Mess this week

[binge girl]

Hi
Did anyone see The Office this week where they wanted to do an Intervention with Meredith?
Well....THAT WAAS ME this week at my ofiice Xmas party, got WRECKED, like parts of the night are completely missing AND there's more which involves my husband not speaking to me and pulling off his wedding ring for the first time ever. I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME.
In a matter of 5-6 hours, I destroyed the trust built up in our 8 year marriage complete with 2 kids.

So I'm HERE, where I need to be, and I need to just download all this from my brain. I won't even tell my closest friend the details of the what I've done. I want to be out here in these forums with people who can comprehend the disaster I created.

I bought the PDF book, I already had some online Topomax from awhile back (had kidney problems from it but I HAVE TO BE ABLE to continue that stuff) and Kudzu, supp, etc..
This Xmas party was just the straw that broke the camel's back, the weekend after weekend of just getting beyond drunk have been building while my husband's patience with me diminished.

:upset:

So Hi , I'm new here and REALLY need to be here

[Evie.Lou]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

You are at a Great Place to start Healing from this devastating disease. It is alot of hard work but it is possible to rebuild your life.Regaining trust will take time.Be as honest as you can with your husband.tell him that you are sick and taking the steps needed to start recovery.
Dive deep into this program and live it, breath it, sleep it and it will start to work for you...It is working for me and i thought NOTHING would...

[Seacailin]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Hello and Welcome BG
This is truly a wonderful program. I am so sorry for your disaster. I have had so many myself. We do not have to go back there. I look forward to reading yours posts. We are here to support you.:l

[binge girl]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Thanks for your replies Evie and Seacailin
Both brought tears to my eyes as I'm sooo alone with all this guilt.
Like I said, can't even confide in my best friend - she has no idea how ridiculous I've become.

On a positive note - I feel a sense of excitement about starting a new life and really making it happen this time. I have kids, if I don't change my 6 year old will needlessly become well-aware of what "drunk" means and why mommy 'goes to bed' so early sometimes. All that stuff, it's right around the corner for me.

I gotta go AF for a bit, I don't know how that will all work being that I've been a real decent weekend drunk since I was about 12 years old. I'll go slow. I need to busy doing SOMEthing else with my free time. I don't even know how to have fun without being buzzed, I've always wondered that about non-drinkers - what do they DO all weekend???? How wholesome. ugh!

[nancy]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Hi Binge Girl

So what did Meredith do on the office? I have never seen that show.

Of course you feel guilty and embarrassed. But try not to focus on those feelings because they are counter-productive.

Just think about the future, read the book My Way Out, research the various ways people overcome the problem, read peoples' stories on this site so you won't feel so alone. From what I read, those who overcame it seem a lot happier on weekends without alcohol. Though, granted, this seems to be more true for those who have families and you have one.

Good luck and welcome
Nancy

[binge girl]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

I t's a funny show about people in an office
Meredith is the office alcoholic (in complete denial).
At their Moroccan-themed Xmas party, she gets completely loaded, belly dances and then lights her hair on fire. So, the boss Steve Carrell tries to hold an intervention and then tries to put her in a rehab against her will. too funny.

[Bandit]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Hi binge girl,
and welcome!
I've had a few major disasters myself especially at office dos in the past so can understand. My long suffering husband can fill in all the bits I don't remember!.Also understand about kids, I have a 6 year old too and she has made few comments about my drinking and asking me not to drink wine, I have a 4 year old too. I really do not want them to have to deal with this as part of their life.
Yes, it is hard trying to occupy your time without drinking especially at the weekends but it can be done, just new habits that need to be formed. We can do it!
Wishing you the best

xx

[Doggygirl]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Hi binge girl. I was a drinker for over 30 years, and a daily drinker for a good 20 years of that, and an almost daily DAY time drinker for 10+ years of that. I have been sober for just over 6 months now, and can understand the you describe at this stage such as: How will I ever have fun without alcohol? What will I do with my weekend time?

This has not been an easy journey, but I can assure you that there IS fun to be had in a life without booze!!! There is also plenty to do. When drinking, I was the queen of procrastination and now I'm on the go constantly and running out of time to get things done - and not because I just wasted all my time with my head in a bottle.

I started by making lists of things to do. I made sure that in addition to "task" type things, my list also included things I wanted to do for fun - a hot bath to a good book to read. Hobbies to investigate. Things like that. Whenever I would feel boredom = "let's drink!" thoughts set in, I would consult my list.

Exercise is my best friend - there seems to be a lot of power in those endorphins! (recommended in the book too)

One of the more boring things I have to occassionally do these days is actually GO to a social function where there is lots of drinking going on, and listen to people slur, repeat themselves ad nauseum, say things they will regret later (if they can remember), and stuff like that. THAT is boring.

Best wishes to you in your journey.

DG

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Welcome binge girl :l

You're in the right place. Do me a favor? If you have kidney problems take milk thistle, okay? It's a wonderful healant for the kidneys.

You sound like you're well on your way for a positive recovery. Good for you!

Becoming

[fjones]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Hi Binge Girl, Be assured I have had similar disasters. I was the same as you at my office party, my four year boyfriend has finished with me because of my drinking and like you I blackout. Last week I was a wrieck and had another binge because I couldnt cope with the shame, guilt, fear, remorse and loss of respect in front of colleagues. Still feeling very vulnerable but AF for 4 days now - not on top of the world yet - in fact isolated and depressed but I have lost enough to alcohol. I was sober for 19 years if that helps even though I have been in relapse for last four plus - but I want sobriety back. Keep posting here. Best of luck to you.

[shelbysmiles]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Welcome!
I could write a book on Drunk Office Parties.
You are in the right place; keep reading and posting!

And I love The Office!

[JAMMS]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Damn, I just lost a the post I wanted to post to you Bingegirl, I'm sorry I'm to hungover to retype it all...so in a nutshell. I hear what your sayin', I'm here for you....you sound a lot like me, actually you soung alot like all of us here. Keep posting, take your supps, and talk to your hubby about you wanting to go AF and he will support you.

I will be taking a nap re-living last night's mess I created for myself, and thinking of you and everyone else from this wonderful place, because when I think of everyone here I'm not lonely at all and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. You'll see.:l

:thanks:

[gyco]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

i dont no how many times my wife twicked her finger,yur married till life do us part,is tht not the question,ive been married to the finest lady for 32 years,beleive me there is no better,but do you no what she has her faults,drink to much just over whelms all but us,or so they think,are they on a program asking for help,no,its all ours,no,we just like to make asses of ourselves,then were told about it,and do u no what it frikkin, HURTS,IM LERNING TO COPE WITH THIS MONSTER OF MINE,IT IS NOT A BEAST,IT JUST LIKES ME,maybe one day coming here or where ever you mt go,youll get control,to me or maybe to others do we really carewhen we DRINK,i didnt ,but im lerning with great sites like this, gyco

[binge girl]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

Thanks again for ALL your replies, glad I wrote.
I'm been walking around my house in circles not knowing what to do what myself.
Hubby doesn't want me near him, can't blame him. If we had the cash, he'd send me to a hotel.

It's 4:00 now, starting to think why can't I have 2-3 beers tonight and that's it.
Gobs and gobs of wine is really my thing.
ALREADY JUSTIFYING, ALREADY CONIVING

I'd love to think I can be a moderator I know I'll need to get up on higher doses of the Topa and get my hypno cd's in the mail.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE TONIGHT
FEELS GREAT TO WAKE UP ON A SUNNY SUNDAY MORNING FEELING PERFECT, I KNOW THAT.

[keepwalking]

Made a HUGE Mess this week

bg first of all please change your name, you are only a reflection of how you think so if you call yourself binge girl guess what............. you will be a girl that binges! why not be girl in control and start to believe in it, good luck sweetheart give yourself a break and enjoy your perfect sunday and make a nice breakfast for your loved one xx