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God, I'm such a LIAR

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    #1

    God, I'm such a LIAR

    Not even noon.. and yes, I've had a bottle of wine already. No more today; I have to drive and I have to get work done.

    As much as I'm SICK OF IT... I'm not sure I'm COMMITTED to the cause (if you will) - I just don't know where to turn to anymore.

    Funny thing.. my MOM asked me (now, we don't really have a good history) WHY I didn't come to talk to them (my parents) earlier.. since my dad is a 20-year dry alcoholic... I said: "Don't you know me at ALL? I'm not the one ASKING FOR or NEEDING help.. I'm the one giving and providing and getting things done for everyone around me?"

    Dammit, I'm sorry... I have some help coming my way (in more ways than one) but in the meantime.. I am SO lost.. how did I get here? I mean.. ME? Of ALL people?
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013
    Tags: None
    #2
    God, I'm such a LIAR

    sso you are a "provider"....as am I and it beats the crap outta me when everyone wants help/advice/fix this, mend that!!!! I'm too damn handy is one of my problems....and I exhaust myself by giving and doing...plus my job is in Sales...so it's high maintenence and each day matters big time....I'm thinking you can relate right. And guess what...at the end of the day...i'm knackered and by 5:30 I'm into the beer.
    Lucky for me I've never been a lunchtime drinker...funnily enough I don't even want a drink now, (12noon)...which is the only healty part of my problem...weird though that sounds.

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      #3
      God, I'm such a LIAR

      Sunshine- I'm sorry your having a bad day. It's early yet. You have time to get it together. What triggered you?

      Don't let the mom thing get you down. Work on one thing at a time. Were you surprised by her response? Do you think its time you started to ask for help and stopped taking care of everone? Let someone help you. Sometimes help can come from the most unexpected places.

      Don't be so hard on yourself about how you "got here" the point is that your here. If you weren't commited do you think you would on MWO there must be a part of you that wants to stop.

      Stay strong.
      :teeter:JAMMS

      "I'm safe.. up high...no one can touch me...why do I feel this party's over?...."

      "no pain..inside...you're my protection...how do I feel this good SOBER?!"

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        #4
        God, I'm such a LIAR

        I can relate.

        I am the middle child, the one who never caused any (err, many) problems growing up. The mediator, the easy-peasy one.

        But I'm the one with the problem.

        My parents don't even know that I drink--they are Baptist and it was never allowed in our house growing up. I think it would kill them to know what shape I have gotten myself into.

        I hope you can have a better afternoon. If you can stop at the one bottle, get sobered up and go on with the rest of your day, I say more power to you. I have such a hard time stopping after I start (don't we all?). Just know we'll be thinking of you.

        And by the way, posting the truth doesn't make you a liar! It actually makes you honest. Give yourself credit for that, at least! ((hugs))....we all know how hard this can be at times.

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          #5
          God, I'm such a LIAR

          Sunshine ---- it concerns me that you've had a bottle of wine and yet are planning on driving! I think you'd best stay home..... or take a taxi to wherever you have to be.
          I'm also the handy one in the house and all repairs (that I can manage) are done by me. My kids are grown now, but still it's amazing how many things I still have to do for them. Just this morning I was wrapping up some of my homemade cookies for my 28 year to give to her boss along with an insulated mug and gift card to Starbucks. Husband took it down to her office, as he was headed downtown. I guess once a Mom, always a Mom!
          .... and that's your Mom being a Mom too ..... she probably knows of your problem and wants to help.

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            #6
            God, I'm such a LIAR

            Thanks guys, yes, I did stop at the bottle and had something to eat, a nap and lots of water. And I had 4 hours to sober up before having to go into town

            I honestly don't know what my trigger is. Temptation, more than anything. There's always something in the house (more often than not open). But that will change very shortly. I can't do this with AL looking at me all the time.
            Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

            Winning since October 24th, 2013

            Comment

              #7
              God, I'm such a LIAR

              I say let's dig a BIG HOLE and dump AL in it, then pile tons of earth on top of him...There he is, Dead and buried...
              That is a wonderfully comforting thought, to me.I could not stay sober with Al in my house...NO WAY.
              AL doesn't live here, anymore !!!!
              sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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