Hi All,
I am 26/F and feel that my future is full of fantastic options but I guess that I need to be honest with myself and accept that with AL in my life I will never reach any of these goals, or at least only half heartedly. I started binge drinking at 13 and boy does the time fly by! Here I am 13 years later with exactly the same despisable drinking habits I had when i was 13! Sure I can list things I have improved on eg : I no longer smoke dope or ciggarettes.
I have had times where i have drank daily by myself ( afetr lets say 5pm ), drank everyday by going out partying with friends every night , but mostly it is just major occassional binge drinking which has me ending up in bed with someone, or on the couch for a full day afterwards cursing the bane of my existence and feeling guilty, worthless and the worst of all....Hopeless.
I stopped drinking for 8 months when i was 23, went to meetings,had a sponsor, all that jazz. I stopped going out and ditched alot of pple from my life, this was a bad move as I made no real effort to replace my er, vice with something fun, interesting to occupy my time. I was a workaholic and a perfectionist.
I have years of low self esteem to build up so that I can move on to a bigger and better life, this can only happen if I learn to moderate ( Been trying my whole life, obviously not hard enough? ) or abstain completely ( which scares me , feel i will be rejected by regualr society and be unable to go to any ' Fun' social events ). I don't know which road to try?
Ultimatly I want to be the best me that I can, I want to be strong and happy so that I can give back to those around me.
Thanks for reading : )
I am 26/F and feel that my future is full of fantastic options but I guess that I need to be honest with myself and accept that with AL in my life I will never reach any of these goals, or at least only half heartedly. I started binge drinking at 13 and boy does the time fly by! Here I am 13 years later with exactly the same despisable drinking habits I had when i was 13! Sure I can list things I have improved on eg : I no longer smoke dope or ciggarettes.
I have had times where i have drank daily by myself ( afetr lets say 5pm ), drank everyday by going out partying with friends every night , but mostly it is just major occassional binge drinking which has me ending up in bed with someone, or on the couch for a full day afterwards cursing the bane of my existence and feeling guilty, worthless and the worst of all....Hopeless.
I stopped drinking for 8 months when i was 23, went to meetings,had a sponsor, all that jazz. I stopped going out and ditched alot of pple from my life, this was a bad move as I made no real effort to replace my er, vice with something fun, interesting to occupy my time. I was a workaholic and a perfectionist.
I have years of low self esteem to build up so that I can move on to a bigger and better life, this can only happen if I learn to moderate ( Been trying my whole life, obviously not hard enough? ) or abstain completely ( which scares me , feel i will be rejected by regualr society and be unable to go to any ' Fun' social events ). I don't know which road to try?
Ultimatly I want to be the best me that I can, I want to be strong and happy so that I can give back to those around me.
Thanks for reading : )
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