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[tigerlilly77]

Hi just getting up the guts to post here,

I've known that i have a problem with drinking for a while now and I really need to do something about it, starting here today! I binge drink vodka, have blackouts, start phoning people a 3am, and generally make a c**t of myself, and want to stop.

My mum is an alcoholic and it has destroyed our family, she is in the late stages now and has suffered 2 seizures, after the last one she was off the drink for a week but is back on it now. I know she is going to die from it and I am terrified that I am following in her footsteps. I hated growing up with all the adults around us drunk all the time and really don't want to put my son through that.

I didn't have a drink for a couple of months because I was pregnant, but then I lost the baby. I thought that I could drink sensibly, managed to get through a bottle of vodka last night and have realised that it is going to be all or nothing and I am not going to be able to drink in a controlled way.

So I am here and hopefully by posting and documenting it I might be able to stick to it. I just wanted to get it down in a post just how bad I feel right now so next time I am tempted I can remind myself.

Chritmas is going to be hard but and the thought of never having another drink is scarey, so I am just going to do this week by week. 1st goal is to get through christmas without a drink if i manage that I will set some more goals.

Nice to meet you all and look forward to your support.
x

[Seacailin]

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Hello and Welcome TL
Do you have the MWO book? You can download it from this site. That is a good place to start. I also recommend checking out the Toolbox thread. You will find out what is working for others. I look forward to getting to know you. I grew up with an alcoholic Dad, and swore that I would never turn into him. Go figure.

[cyclefan]

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Welcome tigerlily, you've made a great first step by posting today. I wish you all the best in your goal. We are all here for the same reason too.

I hope you will download the My Way Out book and read it, there is some terrific advice in there about how to achieve you goal. Take some time to read the threads. Chances are you'll find someone who has experienced something similar to what you have.

There is a Newbie's Nest Thread and a One Day at a Time Thread you might feel comfortable joining in the Just Starting Out area, as well as a Toolbox Thread with some helpful advice in the Monthly Abstinence Thread in the Goals area. Jump in anywhere, and welcome.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Welcome tigerlilly! :welcome:

While I've never been in your shoes, I'm a wino, not a vodka drinker, I, too, was blacking out nightly. I'm much better now that I've found this site.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your child and the pain you must be feeling about your mother. My father was an alcoholic and died because of it.

You've done a great job of introducing yourself here and I like how you say you want to post how you're feeling now. That's an awesome idea, get it down now so you won't forget.

I agree with what you've already read here. Read the My Way Out book. Please. Make that a Christmas present to yourself. It sounds like you're drinking a lot of vodka every day? If so, maybe you should try to take this one day at a time? Would that be better for you? I don't know, just an idea.

It's nice to meet you. I hope to get to know you better. :l

Becoming

[river0123]

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Hi Tiger, and huge welcome to you! I was also very scared of the idea of never drinking again. But the tables have turned... I now find sobriety very comforting and it's the thought if drinking again that I find truly frightening...
Best wishes and glad you found us, you're among friends.:l

[Sunbeam]

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It really helped me to write down every reason I could think of why I hated drinking to excess: the lost time and money, health, poor memory to blackouts, foolish things I did, lies to my husband. I wrote it all down when I quit, kept going back to it when I felt weak. I kept this list readily available on my computer, where I would see it often.