I am a loser

[keeta]

After all my time AF I drank...I hate myself..I wish I were dead

[Tiresias]

I am a loser

Hey you.

I read alot here. YOU are not a loser.

You are human. I hope you'll admit to that?

However many times you may have disappointed yourself, I can outdo you. Okay?

For some of us, it's the nature of the beast for it to creep in and steal what we like, and take control of us a little, and cause a setback.

But that's all it is. You gather yourself. You get pissed and sad. And you learn and go on but stronger.

I've wished I were dead many many times. But then I wouldn't have read your post, now, would I?

I don't want to minimize your agony over it "happening" ... but I can tell you I've been in your shoes.

Let's get up and march forward again, eh? Not that it's easy. But it is possible.

Keep posting so I can keep reading about you. Please.

T

[ezzmae]

I am a loser

If you were really a loser you wouldn't even be trying to stop. You can try to walk away from this mistake stronger and more determined. Plus you know you can be AF, you have shown that you can do it. Self-hatred is part of life as a drinker as the way we drink is abuse. I am hoping that it is the AL talking and as the AL leaves your system you will feel more optimistic about everything. Keep strong.

[witchywoman]

I am a loser

Keeta, we all know what its like to slip up, its how you carry on afterward that matters, dont let this send you backwards, keep moving forwards, remember "progress not perfection" your not a loser, remeber we are in the grip of something that messes with the chemical makeup in our brains, its not easy.
Witchy

[Tiresias]

I am a loser

Witchy and ezz are wise.

I just wanted to add, if you think you need to call someone, or get some additional help, there are ways to have that happen. There are many open doors.

PM me, or some friend you've made here. Alone is something you are not.

I can provide links and phone numbers or whatever you might be comfortable with.

You ARE becoming the person you want to be. It's obvious to me.

Take good care of yourself.

T

[johnnyh]

I am a loser

Hey Keeta.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You get knocked down, you get up again. I know you must be feeling pretty depressed but failure is human nature. Just don't give up. Today is day 1 for you again and you are doing great.
I hope you are doing better since you wrote the post!!

[startingover]

I am a loser

Keeta, you have been given some good advice here.
Here is my 2p worth....
You are most certainly not a loser, you are on a journey and you hit a hump in the road. That is what life is all about and then learning to deal with those humps. We often think that when we get sober everything miraculously turns out ok and then when it doesnt or we feel depressed or even really happy we can go back to our old ways of thinking. I know I have done that many times.
My advice to you is to write down how you felt when you drank, and how you feel now...establish what triggered it and put a plan in place to avoid it next time.
Remember as Witchy says, alcohol messes with your brain chemicals and NOT in a positve way.
Take care, let us know how you are doing, PM me if you would like to and know that you are most certainly not alone in this struggle

[kaponium]

I am a loser

Keets - You have CHOICES!! CHOOSE SOBER LIFE, with MWO and TALK about it - keep talking...

Blast some POSITIVE UP-BEAT MUSIC: "I get knocked down, but I get UP again - you ain't neva gonna keep me down"

Make a Gratitude List

PM ME

CHUCK OUT ANY alcohol that may be remaining in you home

Take a cleansing shower, put on some make up, unwrap a pressie....

Ask your husband for HIS TIME and a HUG....

KEEP POSTING

[gyco]

I am a loser

your to hard on yurself,as you said you did it b4 pik yurself up try try again good luck to u gyco

[dingbat]

I am a loser

Does anyone else here think that we're extremely hard on ourselves? Think about it, Keeta - you didn't drink anything for a month!! So, then you drink one night and now you're a loser??? Would you place that tag on a "normal" person?? I know what you're feeling, I've been there. But, I think we have a tendency to magnify our mistakes. We expect more of ourselves than we expect of anyone else in the world, and when we slip we beat ourselves to death with it.

So, I say, stop it! You are NOT a loser, you are an imperfect human being. You made a mistake, like all human beings do. Take a deep breath, drink lots of water and eat some carbs. Today is a new day. And, like witchy said, the goal is progress NOT perfection!! You've made tremendous progress, so pat yourself on the back for that instead of beating yourself up for a slip.

:l

[Beaches]

I am a loser

Keeta, you are no where near being a loser. You have so much to be proud of and look at all those AF days you've had. Just concentrate and remember those days and don't let AL get hold of you again.

[johnnyh]

I am a loser

Hey Dingbat.

It's the nature of the "beast".

You have a slip up with AL you are very quick to get depressed about it and give in. Ag, now it's to late in anycase. I might just as well drink. It think alcoholism works that way.

Take golf for example. You're a bad golfer and only on every 5th attempt you manage to actually hit the ball. You start practicing and your game is great. every ball you hit is flying miles and straight. One morning you pla a game and are not focused. You start playing bad again. What do you do? You quit the game?????? No ways. you get up the next morning or next weekend and start playing/practicing again.

(I am very sorry if this example is a little bit far fetched. In actual fact reading it again it doesn't seem to have anything in common with the actual topic

Alcohol just doesn't allow for a positive mindset. It tries to mess with you.

IN every other phases in our lifes we are allowed to make mistakes. Why not with AL?!

We are only human.

So heads up.

[river0123]

I am a loser

ezzmae;500672 wrote: If you were really a loser you wouldn't even be trying to stop. You can try to walk away from this mistake stronger and more determined.

Ditto. There isn't one person here who doesn't know how you feel. But there are many, many here who have felt this way and are now enjoying life AF or modding because they didn't give up. Never stop trying. We're here for you and understand. :l

[BecomingMeAtLast]

I am a loser

Keeta,

You made it past 30 days AF (you think no one cares?). I've watched and read your posts. Remember this one?

"Too bad AL isn't my only problem, obviously I have other things to address.
Depression.
Chronic Pain.
Low self esteem."

Something was up with you last week. You weren't feeling well and it seems as if you turned to and old "buddy" of yours. Don't hate yourself for that, please. You are not a loser at all. You're a winner. Do you know how many people on this board would love to say they made it to 30 days? Well, you did. Even with chronic pain. Even with depression and low self esteem.

The weather must be rough where you are this time of year. Let us know how you are today, okay?

Take care, :l
Be

[Evie.Lou]

I am a loser

Keeta, YOU ARE NOT A LOSER !!!! The path to recovery has many pot holes...keep your focus on the future and don't look back.We are here to help along the way...You will make it.Never give up...