What used to be a happy holiday

[inhiding]

This is truly the bottom.....I have promised myself that the 1st of the year would be different, but I have done that many many new years. I have just signed the dismissal papers from a divorce I should have gone thru with.
The spouse is treating me like I have a communicable disease beacuse I asked him to call it off with the other woman....looking forward to a "wonderful Christmas" with my loving but very judgemental family and explaining why my spouse is not there............all behind my kids back (teenagers) you get the pic.... The best Christmas EVER...if you know what I mean! How the hell to deal with this..........drinks numb!

[Tiresias]

What used to be a happy holiday

If you settle on only numbing with alcohol, you will be drowning in another bad relationship.

[inhiding]

What used to be a happy holiday

But how to give up a friend/enemy that has never let me down to forget the pain.....at least for the time being?

[Tiresias]

What used to be a happy holiday

How indeed.

Please don't see me as an enemy. I know the medicine works.

But it ultimately fails. You know it.


And if you can get past the sweats, the tingles, and the nausea, you'll be stronger. Without the medicine.

[boozehag]

What used to be a happy holiday

Hi there
As you probably know there really are no problems that cannot be made worse with alcohol. AL is not your friend it is your worst enemy. The relief you are talking about is temporary and is really just an illusion - the same shit is still there next day but you just feel even worse.
Someone on another thread once said about divorse etc that the best revenge you can get is to be the best person you possibly can. So chuck out that AL hold you head up high and make 2009 a new year for a new you. I know it is easier said that done but once you get a few AF days under your sleeve you will feel so much better. Have you read the book? Have you checked out the supplements and/or the meds. You really should as they really do help.
BH

[inhiding]

What used to be a happy holiday

I don't see you as an enemy.....you would not have responded if you were ...... but how do I get past the hurt right now and how do I keep it together for the kids and my folks this next week?

[Tiresias]

What used to be a happy holiday

bottomsup;501354 wrote: I don't see you as an enemy.....you would not have responded if you were ...... but how do I get past the hurt right now and how do I keep it together for the kids and my folks this next week?

Listen to BH.

Post here.

Try the book and supps. Just doing it is a reminder of where you want to be.


The hurt is going to be there, I'm afraid. At least from my experience. Getting past it ... well, chin up and revel in how you can ... be there for your kids and folks. I'm guilty of playing the martyr ... of enduring the pain for all. But perhaps pick a spot on the calendar down the road, and have a plan for that day. February sometime. And get there.

K?

[boozehag]

What used to be a happy holiday

Hey there
You say you have hit the bottom. So many people on here talk about having hitting rock bottom (including myself) before being able to truly tackle their problem. If you are at rock bottom it might be a good idea to welcome it as I did and just say to yourself right this is it this is as far down as I go. No more. As the song says once you are there "the only way is up baby".
You keep it together by taking it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. You will not keep it together with AL in your system. You might want to start with reading the book, gathering all the tools you can to help you and picking a start date - whether that be today or very soon. In other words get a PLAN together and start working it. You will find so much support on here and if you stick with you plan before you know it you will be giving others support too.
BH

[Accountable for Me]

What used to be a happy holiday

Oh man, you poor girl. You are going through H*ll right now.

How do you stay sober over the holidays when you are dealing with all of this? Gosh, I wish I had an answer for you.

Just like Boozehag had said, try to do this for yourself. Your friend/enemy is an illusion. Your problems will still be there the next day and AL will only make you feel worse.

I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that everything will be OK. I have been through my own marital crap, and drinking through the holidays only RUINED it for our kids. I feel such guilt and shame about that.

Being on my own now, and having sobered up, I look forward to the holidays. My kids will have a wonderful 'real' Christmas without any hostility and drunken madness. Being sober will give me the strength to deal with relatives too

Sobriety is the best gift to give myself and my children.

You CAN do this.

Keep posting your thoughts and feelings. We will help you in anyway we can. Sometimes just getting this stuff off of your chest really helps.

Hang in there!

[Accountable for Me]

What used to be a happy holiday

You are under enough stress and discomfort already. Don't try to fix everything all at once.

Set a date. Like say in early January to start working on your issues with alcohol. Take it easy with the drinking during the holidays. (Don't get hammered - this way you can control your emotions.).

Some people may kill me when I say this but , I don't think in your situation is a great idea to try to quit drinking. The holidays brings on stress as it is and with your marriage being as it is, it is too much right now.

BUT..... If you want to ditch the booze right now, then 'Hey' we've got your back!

Try to keep the levels of AL to a minimum so you can enjoy your kids at Christmas time.

I wish I had something more to suggest. Keep posting here, OK? Sometimes just getting our feelings off of our chests helps immensley.

[inhiding]

What used to be a happy holiday

K,
I have read the book and have the sups but have been thinking that I would make a new life after the divorce......Now no divorce, more of the same or hard work or my fault or I really don't know what
to expect but I do know that I have to do something for my well being and health and sanity. I will try to get thru to the first of the year..I'm a freak who looks for deadlines..(no pun intended) and will re-read my book, take my sups and listen to my tapes.....I have a problem with the total relaxation with the tapes...will try thou. thank you so much for listening....will make it thru Christmas which used to be my all time favorite time of the year....now, well, we shall see.

[Tiresias]

What used to be a happy holiday

bottomsup;501364 wrote: K,
I have read the book and have the sups but have been thinking that I would make a new life after the divorce......Now no divorce, more of the same or hard work or my fault or I really don't know what
to expect but I do know that I have to do something for my well being and health and sanity. I will try to get thru to the first of the year..I'm a freak who looks for deadlines..(no pun intended) and will re-read my book, take my sups and listen to my tapes.....I have a problem with the total relaxation with the tapes...will try thou. thank you so much for listening....will make it thru Christmas which used to be my all time favorite time of the year....now, well, we shall see.

Well then. Keep us posted. And keep you posted, eh?

You will make it through.

[inhiding]

What used to be a happy holiday

thank u

I can't thank you enough for being here. You have helped me so much, I will get thru the holidays that I used to enjoy so much with the thought that maybe my life can be like that in the future..........if I can just stop the nonsense.

[upnorthgirl]

What used to be a happy holiday

for you, bottoms Up

I think your name is karma--you feel you are at the BOTTOM and now there is nowhere to go but UP. It has to mean something.

My divorce was bitter and painful and hideous--it nearly did me in. I suffered for years with depression and addictive behavior. I wish this forum was here then. but is is now here for YOU.

It is tough, I agree, but I also believe in Fake it till you make it! Eventually you will believe the positive thoughts you have been showing others.

Look deep inside yourself and tell yourself you ae WORTHY of everything that is good. You are BLESSED with children who grew under your heart. They are an extension of you and the greatest gift--find your strength IN them--not just for them.

It is okay to feel sad and to ask for help. We are here.:h

[gyco]

What used to be a happy holiday

wow i cant beleive i missed your threads,i must of been with my old freind and i didnt want to respond,i do apoligise gyco