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OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

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    #1

    OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

    And that by the way is me. 15 DAYS SOBER!!. then without warning, well there must have been warning signs but I did not see them. Or hear them, maybe I did but ignored them. I bought two bottles of wine. First one diluted with lemonade, it is christmas after all I heard my devil say. Then The kids figured it out, I got defensive and they went shopping and so did I for my next bottle of wine and then I came on here. Privately emailed the wonderful cymru, cos I like cymru. But came on here to say it is not an easy feat. It should be, but it is not. The slightest thing can push us over the edge and I know that I have done so well up to now but I just went awol. I really hate the word alcoholic, it seems to grate with me. Do I have to call myself that?? I am so weak and a failure, I even heard my devil saying moderation. Go for moderation drinking not total abstinence, cos you can't do that. One day is all I want. I do feel very tired. Tired of dealing with people I do not want to deal with. Tired cos all I do is work and I am tired. Just exhausted. Had I been a rich person I would spend christmas in the priory, but I am not. I am me. oh why did i do it?
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    #2
    OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

    OK Maddy, good that you are back. So... what did you learn about the "voice" that tells you that you should be able to drink moderately?

    It is essential, if you want to stop drinking, to stop listening to that "voice" and to all the arguments your alcohol-addicted mind will give you about why it might be OK to drink.

    It doesn't matter at all whether you use the word "alcoholic." What does matter is that you get it firmly into your head that drinking will destroy everything you hold dear.

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      #3
      OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

      aCTUALLY WIP DRINKING IS NOT THE WORST OF MY PROBLEMS. IT IS A RESULT OF MANY BI PRODUCTS. BUT WHAT I LEARNT IS THIS. THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DRINK. I FEEL DIRTY AND BLOATED. I FEEL SAD THAT I SUCCUMBED. I LOVE THE IDEA OF CHRISTMAS AND ME I WANT THE BIG PARTY AND LOVE FLYING AROUND. REAL WORLD IS THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH FOLK I WOULD RATHER LEAVE UNDER THE STONE. MAYBE I HAVE TO BE HARDER ALL ROUND.:thanks:
      ME AND MY IDEAL WORLD SCENARIO. I HAVE TO GET A GRIP. LIFE CAN BE SHIT, BUT I SEEM TO ALWAYS WANT TO SMELL ROSES. THEN WHEN IT SMELLS FOUL. I BAIL OUT INSTEAD OF BEING A STRONG BITCH. SO TODAY WAS BAD, TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. I TAKE THE LAST TWO WEEKS AND A DAY WITH ME AND USE THEM. THAT IS WHAT I LEARNT AND WIP I AM GLAD U ARE STILL AROUND.

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        #4
        OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

        OH LITTLE ONE TOO MANY. YOU ARE RIGHT. I WILL BE SOBER ON CHRISTMAS DAY AND MAYBE IN THIS MADNESS, SANITY IS LOOMING. COS, I CAN DRINK ON CHRISTMAS DAY, THAT IS OFFICIAL, KIDS ALLOW IT AND EVERYONE THINKS IT IS OK. NOT FOR ME. SO YOU KNOW I HAD A BAD DAY. DID NOT SEE IT COMING, BUT I FELT IT. I JUST FELT TIRED. REALLY TIRED. AND I AM YOUNG ISH..... SO THAT WAS THE WARNING TIREDNESS. REALLY EXHAUSTED. ALL IS PREPARED COS I AM ORGANIZED. AND NOW I WELCOME PEACE AND LOVE. THANKS TO YOU AND WIP.

        HOPING YOU GET YOUR DILEMMA SORTED. SINCERELY I DO. :l

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          #5
          OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

          I AM SO THANKFUL OF THIS WEBSITE. I REALISE I AM NOT ALONE. AND YOU ARE ALL LOVELY AND THAT IS WHY WHEN I DRANK I CAME ON HERE. SHOULD HAVE COME ON BEFORE, BUT I COULD NOT. COMPUTER IN SONS BEDROOM, SO IT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE. I AM GETTING BETTER NOW AND HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE DRUNK LONG TERM, NOT EVEN DRUNK NOW. JUST SORT OF CONFUSED.

          YOU LOT HAVE SORTED IT FOR ME. TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU ALL MEANS MUCH. YOU ARE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.//? TODAY MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND I AM NOT RELIGIOUS, JUST AN ANGEL...................:h IN DISGUISE. THANK YOU.............................

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            #6
            OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

            We are in this together and there is such POWER in numbers of people wanting the same thing...
            You are an ANGEL...and I care very much for you !!!
            sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

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              #7
              OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

              Hi hun. You are NOT a stupid cow or a failure. You're HUMAN!!! Remember that! Isn't it GREAT that you did 15 days without drinking.... If you were not doing this program you would have drunk those 15 days. Just start again. You'll never fail as long as you keep trying. Hell, i've been doing this for god knows how many months and i'm still screwing but i'm not like i used to be and NOR ARE YOU! Look at yourself NOW, look at what you WERE.... now sit there and think. You've come so far and you're NOT a failure. You're a GREAT STRONG person!

              This time of the year is really hard, what with all the christmas parties, every bar, pub, restaurant filled with people drinking, every tv show showing people drinking, being happy can also trigger it. Being tired was/is my main trigger. I feel it'll pick me up and keep me going all night *lol* what a joke!

              Brush it off and try again!

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                #8
                OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                life is life,there is a song named tht,YOU recognise whats wrong,slow down,thank god you got a healthy heart,and a lot ,of support, hahaha, tis christmas,sasons approaching who will fall,and who will not,i did leave for a while,not cause i was notty or nc,a freind of mine, along time freind ,just got out of the operating room,the best guy you would ever meet,cancer on his kidney,survival rate was low,as i mean temperture wise,he came out of surgery yestrday and is working at living,just like us,from day to day,think as yur lucky .u just hav to say NO,IT WILL BE A BATTLE AND YOU NO, GYCwishin all a merry merry christmas

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                  #9
                  OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                  there is no such a thing as a stupid cow,my dear,i am a male,and you are not gyco

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                    #10
                    OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                    MAd.. I have the same disease, do not feel alone. I am way more sober than wasted, and i feel you are the same. Eventually WE get it RIGHT.. we will succeed at some point. if not this is wot we will be dooing after we sober up for GOOD.. having fun being Flakes.

                    :H Love From Ripples.. Attached files [img]/converted_files/745738=4482-attachment.jpg[/img]

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                      #11
                      OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                      Maddy---Mooooooooove on

                      First, stop calling yourself names! That is hurtful toward yourself and you are a wonderful and strong peson who had an ops!: and now it is time to move forward. Christmas will be GREAT for you because you are back on track and understand what happened. Sending you great big HUGS...log on over the holidays.

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                        #12
                        OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                        Maddy, you are not stupid hun, I think you are very brave, you just hit a bump in this road called sobriety. You are learning your triggers and learning how to cope with them. Its not easy but its possible as you can see. Stick with us over christmas and we can all help each other through.
                        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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                          #13
                          OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                          Sent you a pm Maddy. Take care hun x
                          To Infinity And Beyond!!

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                            #14
                            OH YOU STUPID COW!!!!

                            Hey Maddy,

                            How cool of you to have done 15 days then come on here straight away for support AND to have recognized that being tired is one of your triggers. Not only are you an organized person, you apparently are a very intelligent one.

                            I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. You sound determined and better already. It's so good to hear from you.

                            Take care, :l
                            Becoming
                            "Action is...the enemy of thought." :l Joseph Conrad

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