Need Help Hope

[sunshine_gg]

Need Help Hope

Goldie, I can very much emphasize with most of what you've said. ((( Hugs ))) You're right we can and WILL do it.

IRE... no beating up please. This day, this hour is a new one. We can't change yesterday and don't know what tomorrow may bring... all we can control is RIGHT NOW. Let's start again, ok? We can do it.

[GoldieGirl]

Need Help Hope

I am feeling really really mad at myself. I drank Sat & Sun and looking back I keep trying to focus on what triggered it. It is like "it" pops out of nowwhere. I started the Kudzu yesterday. I have the book and started to read last night. I am going to be AF TODAY if I don't do anything else. I have the supplements in a pill box for the week. I have the CD's (just got) and am going to start those today. I am also reading the book and DETERMINED I am going to lay out a plan. I have decided to carry only a little change for work and no debit/credit cards or other money with me. I have no alcohol here and I am going to get through day one.

I need everyone's one help. I am thinking about ordering some Topamax. It worries me with the other medication I take and not sure about interactions. I know the right thing to do would be go to the dr and talk to him. I just started a couple yrs ago with a new younger GP and I don't know if I feel comfortable talking to him. I keep thinking - this would then be in my medical records.

I do need to start a plan for the book, yes. Heaven knows I'm a pro at going Inside but it is going to take some time, effort and I'm sure a lot of pain to travel the journey to get Out. Today is Day 1 and I'm on MWO.

Thank you for your support & help. I wasn't going to post today or lie and act like I'm on Day 3 but I just can't do that. One of the things about this disease is the lies you tell, live with and let control you. I preached over the years - always to be honest, to my kids. Nothing but the truth - it will get you farther. So this is where I am going to live truthfully - I will never tell a lie here. If I drink you will know it, if I don't you will know it also. I need to be accountable and appreciate being able to do so here and not feel like a total looser. I know I can do this - I have to.
Blessings and Hugs,
Goldie

[upnorthgirl]

Need Help Hope

Goldie--you can do this, we can all do this.

I agree about not lying on this site. We alcoholics are great liars and even bigger sneaks. Even my own husband did not know how much I drank, or that I hid vodka in about six places around the house. If I got a bit fuzzy, I would tell him I just took an allergy pill and --trustful non-liar that he is--he believed me. Of course, when I was falling down the stairs or tripping and falling over a piece of lint, there was no denying it ull

It is amazing how I decieved myself, thinking people did not know I was drinking. When I "came out" not too many were surprised, go figure. And here I thought I was so very clever. DUH!

Every day is a brand new day. :rays:

[ezzmae]

Need Help Hope

There is no need to lie here because it would almost be like lying to yourself. This is the best place to be honest because no one is judging you. We are all here because we are all suffering the same thing. Today is again Day 1 for me so I guess that we will be making this journey together. Hang in there because there is a better future out there for us all.

[GoldieGirl]

Need Help Hope

I will never lie to my MWO friends. I know I was led here and that this is where I need to be. To be able to to share & tell the truth about my disease and learn ways to become AF. Today is Day 1, the first day of the rest of my life. I'm on a really tough journey, as we all are, and I am going to need a lot of support.
Goldie:l

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Need Help Hope

ezzy and Goldie,

Good job for both of you on your Day 1. I hope it's a wonderful new beginning and day for both of you!

Be

[GoldieGirl]

Need Help Hope

I made it through Day 1, now on to Day 2. Took supplements, read the book and listened to the CD' yesterday. I kept thinking all evening how good it felt to be able to get done the things I planned to do done instead of a couple and then shrugging the rest off because I had drank too much and was doing nothing.

One thing I am going to focus on is - the time and money I have wasted, plus the damage I have probably done to my body drinking. Every minute in life is precious - time is truly a gift and I am going to fight with every ounce of determination to not spend any more minutes, hours or days drinking and not being able to accomplish what I want to do. Oh, I don't think it will be easy & I fear I will slip up but I am going to try. It may mean I have to face some of the pain in life I medicate with alcohol but that is what I need to do to get a grip on this disease. I would hate to really know how many hours of my life and money I have spent on alcohol.

Goldie:l

[Beaches]

Need Help Hope

" Every minute in life is precious - time is truly a gift and I am going to fight with every ounce of determination to not spend any more minutes, hours or days drinking and not being able to accomplish what I want to do."

That is the kind of talk I love to hear. You sound so motivated and it really just gives the rest us that extra boost. Keep it up.