alone

[keeta]

is any one else alone?...I am surely alone...all my husband cares about is the kids...I made an awesome spread...but all the fun doesnn't include me....I will not drink but I am alone....and it hurts....I want a divorce...is it wrong to ask for one at Christmas?

[gabby]

alone

Ahh I am sorry keeta. I understand.....I have been there.

hugs to you.....

and no it isnt wrong.

[Sarasmiles]

alone

Oh Sweetie!!!

We work so hard, and so often feel unappreciated! I don't know anything about your circumstances, but I know you are not alone. You are one of a community of friends here, and many of us are women who put on the awesome spreads and then feel we are not really a part of the celebration, just the providers. Don't ask for a divorce tonight, or tomorrow. Hang on. Christmas is not the time...We are full of emotion and stress and fatigue. There is always next week if you still feel this way. Get a good night's sleep if you can, take care of yourself, hug your kids, and deal with your husband after Christmas and all it entails has passed. That's my humble advice. You are not alone. We're all in this together. Sara

[Accountable for Me]

alone

Nope been there! Love you.

[Lucy Van Pelt]

alone

Keeta-

Hey, don't do anything huge at the moment. If I read your post right, you are only on day 3 AF. You are in the throws of the early withdrawal and dealing with not feeding your habit, and EVERYHING is going to seem worse. My opinion: Just focus on not drinking right now, and try not to evaluate anything else (like your marriage). It is just too much to deal with at the wrong time.

Hang in there sweetie. i am finishing day 17 and soooo much better frame of mind that I was 14 days ago....and i can see things much clearer.

with love

Beth

[startingover]

alone

Hiya Keeta, you are most certainly not alone. We are all here with you and supporting you.
Like Lucy and Sara said, give yourself a little time, Christmas is a stressful period at the best of times, so now is probably not the best time to make any lifechanging decisions.
Take care Keeta, these dreadful feelings will pass ...

[keeta]

alone

I want a divorcce....I just don't know how to move on...financially and other wise

[keeta]

alone

I need advivce....2 kids that aren't his....7 years....I am done...I am sick of his shit...finacially I am a bit trapped...I need a way out

[startingover]

alone

Have you taken some legal advice? You know, to find out your rights?
I have never been in your position so I am not the best person to give advice but I would guess that would be a start?

[Doggygirl]

alone

Hi Keeta. I'm so sorry that all of this seems to be coming to a head for you right smack in the middle of the (IMO stressful) holiday time. My first thoughts echo what the others have said. I would do my best to keep your game face on and get through Christmas and the weekend.

Then I would recommend the same thing startingover did - see a divorce lawyer and find out what your options are to deal with the financial and other issues. Only after getting that advice would I approach the subject with your husband. Getting legal advice does NOT mean you have to go through with a divorce. You might find that once you DO broach the subject, you and your husband decide to work on it together.

But with the financial uncertainties, I just think you might be able to gain confidence in yourself by knowing what your rights are.

Hugs to you Keeta. One thing is for sure, alcohol won't help the situation. I admire you for being strong and tackling AL during this personally tough time. But it's a GREAT time to be sober when you are trying to make life altering decisions that also affect your children.

And by the way, I KNOW that your spread was AWESOME and I appreciate how very hard you worked to put together a beautiful Christmas Eve for your family!!!!

You can survive this Christmas day. It will all be over in 18.5 hours. (well, that's central time. Might be less hours where you are!)

DG

[lil.michelle]

alone

Hi sweety!
I'm soooo sorry that you are feeling this way.
To be honest, i would wait until after christmas before throwing this out. Just for your childrens sake. They'd never forget.
I know it sucks but fake that smile for your kids and it'll soon be over with.
Get legal advise or marriage councelling. It's not over. It could still be saved. Try that first. Just remember you and your husband and two different people having to live as one. Sometimes taking a break and talking will do the trick.

I wish you the best.

[maddiva]

alone

Dear Keeta - Happy Christmas to you today. You made me feel a little sad for you. I am a single mum and I love it really, when they are not kicking off!!!! Boys can be a bit outrageous!!! I think you can survive even when you think you can't. You will always manage, so if you really want to do it and you are really sad and unhappy. Then move on. It will all fall into place. It is far better to be on your own and happy than in a relationship that is negative and makes you sad. But you have a good day and enjoy your day. I would however, not to anything without really giving it serious thought and tensions always run high at Christmas, so let this time be filled with as much peace and love as you can muster and then look to change things in the new year. Perhaps......

[Ripple]

alone

keeta .. i feel so bad for you, as i have lived the same life. if the children are not his.. you may be right to divorce. don't go through this next year. make change for a better life now. believe me when i tell you, Ripp has lived long enough to know. doo for you.

take care. Rippy. :l

[Beaches]

alone

Keeta, sorry this day turned out so sad for you. If you are not being treated with respect or well then you can either seek help (from professionals) or move on. You deserve to be happy.

[Chacha]

alone

Nope, you're not wrong

I asked for a divorce the week of thanksgiving 4 years ago...
My humble 2 cents from pesonal experience is this: save some cash, stay nice, do what's best for you and your kidos, and the finances really DO figure themselves out.
My heart goes out to you...I thought about my divorce for 5 years before I actually got up the courage to go for it.
Hang in...you and your family will be in my thoughts!
Chacha:h