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[MissDoodleBug]

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Sundog, I had the same questions you did, how can I stop when so much of my social life involves alcohol? The answer is, the social times are so much more fun sober, life is much more fun sober! Alcohol provides no benefits whatsoever, it is a poisonous chemical depressant. It makes us feel like hell before, during and after drinking and tricks us into thinking we need it to feel good. It lies!

There is a book that will help you. I wish I could send a copy to everyone. Here's the Amazon link:

Amazon.com: The Easy Way to Stop Drinking: Allen Carr: Books

Stay Strong!

Love,

Doodlebug

[Ripple]

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Alcohol is very cunning, it makes you feel good only for awhile then its downhill.. steadily down.. depressing. Help is everywhere around you, take it.

[Willie09]

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Sundog, I am a 46 year old male and our stories sound very similar except I have 4 children between 21 and 27 years old. Doc says I'm in great health. I've run 8 marathons. I've been telling myself for 16 years that if I'm strong enough to run a sub 4 hour marathon that I can lick this drinking thing on my own. The mental toughness it takes to run a marathon is incredible and the feeling of accomplishment is awesome as well. When it comes to controlling alcohol intake my mental toughness doesn't exist. I can usually control it in the social setting but there is always the pre-party or post-party drinking, the hidden bottles. I've stop for weeks and months at a time and then back to drinking. I have been fortunate like you not to get in any trouble yet, but it is not because I shouldn't have I've just been extremely lucky. Unfortunately two of my kids have gotten DUI's. Guess how Dad feels for the example he set as they were growing up ?? You don't want this for your Child !!

I'm finally fed up with the shame and guilt and am ready quit and am getting help. Today is day 4 for me and it'd be great if you'd join me. It's not going to be easy for me to say good bye to alcohol, my constant companion for the last 30 years but it is time.

Sundog it can be done but you have to want it. Looking forward to hearing more.

[Sundog]

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Thanks so much folks for the comments. They mean a lot and I appreciate them deeply.

Should I try 30 days? I can usually start on Monday and tell myself nothing until the weekend. A crisis (usually created by my brain) occurs on Wednesday and then I have an excuse to drink. Thursday I tell myself well - I had a couple Wednesday - this dovetails nicely through to the weekend.

I had anxiety as a man in my 20's (a couple significant panic attacks under my belt) and alcohol seemed to be my prescription of choice to help that.

What scares me is going to bed knowing I didnt drink and the sweats and "withdrawl" of no alcohol. When I need a decent sleep to perform at work, sometimes my brain tells me that a stiff one or two before bed is better for me. Sounds crazy I know ...just telling you what is going on in my head.

I am thinking of trying January 1 (tacky I know) to Feb 1 just to see if I can make it.

With support like I read from everyone, I think it makes it easier. I need to get rid of all alcohol in my house and plan some prjects to work on.

Thanks so much guys. I'm glad I'm not alone.

[Sundog]

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Oops, forgot to add:

Since I have been drinking regularly for years, can you really moderate successfully? What is moderation? What is moderate to one is peanuts to another.

Also thanks to the poster who recommended the book. I will purchase it.

[gabby]

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Hi sundog and welcome. Moderation is very difficult to do after years of drinking, and if you are an alcoholic. Only you will know tho.

[nancy]

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Hi Sundog

I think if you really want to do 30 days you can and January is really a great excuse to
not drink. It takes a lot of mental commitment of course but it's really rewarding because once you have some time under your belt alcohol-free you know you can do it and you get out of some of your bad habits, the mental fog lifts. You can use that month to get educated about alcoholism on this site and by reading books, reading other peoples' stories. I and others have reviewed tons of books in the What We Are Reading section of this forum.

You can come on here every day for the month.

I don't like AA much but I think it can provide some valuable social support when you are just starting out. Ever tried a meeting?

When that voice comes up telling you to drink you have to learn to counteract those bad messages.

AS for social anxiety, yes, it's a problem but there are ways of dealing with that. The best advice I can give you is for now, just think short-term, avoid situations where you will be socially anxious until you know how to deal with them sober.

About moderation, it is possible but it's tough. Imagine you have a lifetime of dealing with anxiety through booze, well it's not going away overnight but I do believe it is possible.

I think harm reduction is more achieveable, meaning it is easier to cut down or improve than to actually learn how to moderate, particularly if you are already a functional alcoholic.

Good luck

[Sundog]

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Thanks again.

Never been to an AA meeting. Probably should have but no. I obviously want to do something about my addiction but I dont know what route to take.

I'm going to start a 30 day sobriety on Jan 01. Surely someone has advice on getting through 30 days??! Please?

[Sundog]

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...and thanks Nancy and everyone for the tips. I appreciate your time.

[UKSean]

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If somene had told me to stick my finger up my nose stand on one leg and whistle Dixie and this will help me with my drinking problem. I would have done it. Dont dimiss A.A. because of misinformation, other peoples veiws. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. what have you got to lose?

[MissDoodleBug]

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Sundog, I will tell you what is working for me.

Get the My Way Out book, supplements and abstinence hypnosis CD's from the Health Store here on this website.

Most helpful to stop cravings are the All-One vitamins, Kudzu, L-Glutamine and True Calm. The book mentions a very powerful prescription drug Topamax, I had to get off that (hair was falling out and could not think) and I find the non-prescription supplements more effective for cravings anyway.

Listen to the hypnosis CD's as directed, they are super.

Get that Allen Carr book I linked above to help you with the mental side of addiction.

Come here and post and read, the support is fantastic.

I have not had a craving since I quit 2 weeks ago, because this time I am going at this problem from every angle possible, not half heartedly like the last time. Moderation did not work for me, it's all or nothing, but that's great!

Now I feel so good, I am so happy and grateful to be free of that poison!

Stay strong!

Love,

Doodlebug

[witchywoman]

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SunDog,
take it One Day at a Time (join the ODAT thread) dont stress yourself to much about envisioning a month with no AL, when i joined MWO on the 3rd of this month I just wanted to make it more that a couple of days without drinking, and here I am on day 25 with one very minor slipup (2 glasses of wine), my life is so much better already, the first 4-5 days can be rough but look into the herbal supplements, especially if you suffer/ have suffred from panic attacks. a few years bck I suffered badley from multiple panic attacks almost every night for several years( due to stress induced depression) & I found meditaing with a rose quatz crystal very helpful, or even just slow deep breathing while I recited a poem/song lyrics -anything - to calm myself down.
"does drinking really make you feel that good", thats what I ask myself if I feel tempted
good luck, keep posting, it really helps.

[nancy]

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Hi again Sundog

Witchy woman has a point that sometimes 30 days can be hard to achieve. But seeing as it is January, I think socially it's easier this time of year and it really could give you a great start.

It can be great to get that much time if possible because your head starts to clear and you feel a big sense of achievement. But one day at a time is a good approach too. The time when I did 30 plus days (six months actually), I tried AA once a week to keep me focused and I read books I bought there, mostly about dealing with not drinking in social situations.
I don't like the dogma of the program but, looking back, it provided structure and helped me renew my commitment to not drinking.

For you, it might be good to at least check out to meet other people who have dealt with similar problems, maybe pick up a book or two, keep up a commitment.

As for other things, I should have mentioned before that yes the anti-craving drugs seem to be working for a lot of people, things like topamax, campral, naltrexone. They all have different side effects and people tolerate them differently. It's up to you if you want to try one of these.

There are so many tips for doing temporary abstinence period and no doubt others will chime in, but I would say:

Get plenty of exercise
Eat well and drink a lot of water
Read up a lot about the alcohol problem and make it your project for this period to learn about it. There are tons of things on this site about the problems you have faced, like anxiety and insomnia
Plan lots of enjoyable activities that are not centered around alcohol
Avoid social situations where you will feel anxious or pressured to drink
Treat yourself with non-alcoholic things (massage?) as you do well
Consider getting a therapist if you don't have one already
If you have anxiety, meditation could be very helpful
Hypno CDs on this site are helpful to some and I think could be good for you if you have anxiety
Visit here and join in on threads
Don't make a big production of telling everyone in your life you are quitting for a set period
Think positively, people who manage to get it out of their systems are really so much happier

[BecomingMeAtLast]

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Great advice, sun! I agree with joining the ODAT thread as it helps to keep you accountable. It's helped me tremendously. Have you read that thread? It's a daily one and there's one for today so jump on board! I agree with the supplements and books. The more ammo, the better.

Be

[new life]

Help me

days

my friend i am 50 and i have been drinking for a long time i have a great wife great family but i haveeput them to the test to many times,i would suggest this pick one nite a week to just go and have a few beers or wine then go home. drop the golf game for now one thing i have found out is that we need to want to do it ourselves firet,but dude you can still have fun and still drink once in a while. take it from me..just start to try put your foot down and think of something good and hot to go home to.