Sabotaging my Life

[ezzmae]

I took some drink on Christmas Day, I got drunk and had a hangover. That was only on Thursday, I felt disgusted with myself and knew I could do better. But what did I do? I had a drink yesterday and repeated the same, I did this despite knowing that I had to met a friend today at the gym with our kids. Now I am terribly hungover and about to head to the gym to put myself through an hour of hell. I don't know if I can do it, but it will be punishment enough. My poison is beer, I can't stop when I have had just one. Before christmas I had 10 days AF. I am so looking forward to getting back to that point again.

[BecomingMeAtLast]

Sabotaging my Life

ezzy,

I remember your posts well. The AL is talking to you right now with your hangover. It's going to make you depressed but you know that. If you put in 10, you can always start again on Day 1. Many of us have done that and there's nothing wrong with it. You WILL get to that point again. We're here for you and we're not going anywhere.

Take care of yourself, don't punish yourself at the gym. Do some thinking. :l

Nice post,
Be

[Marshy]

Sabotaging my Life

Hi ezzmae,

Well, you've done 10 days AF so you know you CAN do it, and you WANT to do it - so that's great!
I think it's a very tough time of year for people with alcohol problems (it certainly is for me) but you've proved to yourself that you want to leave that behind and move forward.
Do you have a plan? What worked for you before?
I hope the gym isn't too painful!

[BridgetJones1998]

Sabotaging my Life

Ezzmae,
We have all been where you are and felt the way you are feeling. You can do this. You just did 10 days!!! That is incredible.

Now, you need to get the beer out of the house if at all possible and start new. Do you take supplements? If so, then get back on track with those. Try to remember how great you felt and focus on the steps you need to take to get AF again. Maybe got to toolbox thread in the Monthly Abstinence forum and read through some of the posts. They are quite helpful.

You are not alone. You can do this. Big HUG!

[ezzmae]

Sabotaging my Life

Thank you guys for your words of encouragement. I pushed myself through a gruelling class at the gym - bodyattack (I think they do this class all over the world). I did it because I had been looking forward to doing this class the whole holidays and because I didn't want to let a friend down. It was amazing the number of people at the gym who claimed to have hangovers.

Now that christmas is over we have no need to keep AL in the house. My husband will go back to drinking cider or red wine at the weekend, which is great because nothing in the world would induce me to drink them. We are going to a party for NYE but I will be the driver. I won't be tempted because I only ever binge in private at home with my husband.

[upnorthgirl]

Sabotaging my Life

Ezz--you say you only ever binge in private, alone with your husband. I think you may have found one of your triggers there, girl. Maybe take some time to analyze that?

Hang in there, toots, we have your back.

[gyco]

Sabotaging my Life

dang i remember those days,ive been modding the last while,and am thinking,and i stress thinking of a new years resolution,oddest thing is its the hardest day of the year to stop,specially if you hav a hangover,i do feel for you,if your gonna drink hav a few,doesnt mean ,lots,number one is you no its gonna hurt the next day,i said it when christmas started to approach,who will stik to it,or who will fall,note again i didnt say fail,since ive been here ,like AA,i notice a lot of memebers tht were sruggling dont say much,im at a loss,a member goes away and we struggle rather then phone them,or we say somthing and someone choose our head off,beleive me when i say alchoholism is creeping up on other ailiments quite fast,if it hant already exceeded them,just to say a word of hope ,is special to the person suffering,i wish you well and as many sayhangin there gyco

[ezzmae]

Sabotaging my Life

Well my head is still killling me so going to the gym may have left me seriously dehydrated. Before christmas when I did my 10 days AF I was glowing, I was so happy. If I don't drink my husband doesn't binge, he basically moderates. I know I can do this, my husband is supportive. I know what I have to do to avoid AL. The reasons we drink have been many different ones, sometimes boredom, sometimes as a destresser and sometimes as a reward after a hard week. I know that they are rubbish reasons but when you are looking for an excuse to drink any one of them will do. I am excited about getting back on track, and I know that this is something I can do.