PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

[Cat Belle]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

1MC - I don't know what to say - reading your post made my insides just ache and my eyes tear. This letter to your mother will be hard, I'll be thinking of you :l

[JAMMS]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

1more-I am not going to say that I know how you feel because I don't....I do not know your whole situation....However, I have been in the same place as you and I will say that..you will feel better after you write this letter... and yes it will be hard....very hard....but IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER...I PROMISE... be honest with yourself and with your mother in this letter...when you do write it...be signed on here for some quick help...I'm sure you know that AL will not make it any easier and it will not make you feel any better about it....my father passed a few years ago....through therepy the pain does get duller (is that a word) and there is no reason to feel guilty about that....our loved ones (your mom, my dad) do not want us to spend the rest of our lives feeling pain or guilt.

Please post later and let us knowhow your doing...we are here for you...you can do this.
I will be thinking of you :l
-jen

[Guest]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Yes 1more, You will feel better after writing the letter, it is a good form of therapy. Try not to drink, stay with your feelings and you will get through it and hopefully find some solace in the writing and sharing of it. It won't make the feelings go away, it will help to keep them safe in your heart, :heart::heart::heart:

[cantsayno]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Oceans,
The CD was something I found on ebay actually. Paid about $10 for it. Self-hypnosis for alcohol addiction.

[cantsayno]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

1 MC - gosh hang in there love! I haven't been challenged by anything emotional yet....hence, only 2nd day AF. But I can read your pain/concern in your posting. We'll all be here for you! Hot tea has become my friend and comfort and I actually hold it similar as I did my wine glass....almost coddling it. Plus, it's nice a warm...
Give a shout if you want us to meet you for a chat. We're here for you!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

[cantsayno]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Thanks so much Cat,
Still trying to navigate through this "thread" stuff....never was a great seamstress....baha. I read someone else's gig that they upped the Kudzu for their cravings. May try that, but so far so good. My husband is an amazing pillar of support. God I love him. Very luck, I am!!!
Thanks for your help!!!

[Guest]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Angelica, I have been taking Naltrexone now for 11 days and I am not drinking nor do I have the desire. The past time I tried Nal I took 50 mg before bed, (they said it would make me sleepy),I drank and I fell right back into my 24-7 habit. I now take 25 mg in am and 25 in pm. I take 5mg 3 x a day of Baclofen (a muscle relaxer) along with the Nal.
I feel really hopeful on this program.
It's confusing because Dr. Sinclair promotes drinking along with the Nal and hopefully that is working for people. For myself, I think it's best if I just don't drink. I do have the book on order and I will read it.
Another time I had the shot Vivatrol (?) Naltrexone as a monthly shot, time release. I drank within three days and right back to my 24-7.
Let us know how you do.....

[yogini]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

OMC - Good luck with your letter writing. It can be a very "clearing" thing to do. Whatever feelings come up, "feel them", cry or whatever you need to do. You are actually processing old emotions when you do that. I guess the plan is that you can share what you wrote with your therapist, and when you are finished with it you could do a ceremony to let go of any of those emotions that you don't want to carry with you anymore. I think I'd burn the letter and cast the ashes to the winds! Good luck with this!

Saging ... you can get a "Smudge" at various places. If you have any Metaphysical Bookstores, I've seen them at a Natural Foods Grocery once (it is now a "Whole Foods" store, but I don't know if Whole Foods would regularly carry them). I got the one I used last night at a store called Soul Scapes when I was in San Diego more than a year ago (and I think having it in my luggage alerted the dogs, because there was a note inside my suitcase saying my luggage had been searched ... I thought that was funny)! I think Soul Scapes has a website now, SoulScapes - Visionary Artist Susan Slotter I think!

The Netti Pot: It does give you the feeling of gettin water up your nose in a swimming pool, but with the lukewarm salt water it is not really uncomforable. Just hang your head over the bathroom sink. Swallow a time or two to get the water going (like priming a pump or a siphon).

I've still been depressed. Made an appointment with my OBGYN and will discuss it with her when I go in tomorrow. I'm 53 and this could be in part hormones combined with all the many major issues I've had to deal with in the past two years: divorce, kid problems (three teenagers). In addition something very traumatic, that I am still processing and cannot write about yet because it is so upsetting, happened over the holiday. I will talk to her about all of these things tomorrow and see what she recommends.

This is the end of day 5, and no I am not craving alcohol in the least. I just want this depression to lift and my normal exuberant energy and vitality to return ... ok it hasn't been completely exuberant with the many "day after" days I've had, but I would never have expected this. This morning I worked out then came home and crawled back in bed until my 12:30 cardio workout. I am about to go teach Yoga in a few ... back later this evening.

There are so many people in this new string that it will take me a few days to get to know you all ... my blah feeling of depression has certainly made me a little flat as well. I will work on some "reprogramming" and my "self talk" and try to get this turned around ASAP. I am doing what I can to do that. All the kids (all three) will be back in school this week and daughter returns to college as well.

Yes, and don't hesitate to ask me more about the "saging" or anything else with regard to Mind/Body or Fitness or Nutrition. I LOVE answering all of those questions because that is my field of expertise (go figure ... for years I've held onto the fact that drinking is the only unhealthy thing that I do). Well it is certainly time to clean that up. I guess being a "non-drinker" will fit nicely into my Mind/Body, Yoga and Meditation Image! It has certainly been a GLARING incongruency with the rest of my life, my beliefs, and my lifestyle. I've often thought this quote applies: "If the things we believe in are different than the things that we do there can be no true happiness." Dane Telford

And my Saging Ceremony went well. I meditated, then said my prayers and affermations that I had written a few days before, then saged my room, myself, and my office.

May check in after Yoga ... if not, I'll check in again tomorrow.

[Guest]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Yogini, yes I too live like that. I do all sorts of healthy things, surf, yoga, eat organic, dance and live a healthy life. But the drinking is almost not real to me. I somehow pretend it is not bad for me. Of course none of my friends know how much I really drink,(drank) . I come across as this really healthy 57 year old woman in great shape. My husband however has my number and in fact is in the process of divorcing me. If I stopped drinking I could have averted the divorce, now it's too late for him, he wants the "alcohol" out of his life. There is still hope, we still live together and sleep together and love each other. He is just angry with me because I can not control the drinking and he takes it as a personal slight. Like I am doing it to control him or something. It's all very confusing and I can not believe I am on day 11. I am doing this for me though, I want the same things as you do, to put the me back into me. I want my creative person here in the room with me, not the subdued on alcohol me. Hope we get there,:heart:

[cantsayno]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

oceanaocean;511366 wrote: Angelica, I have been taking Naltrexone now for 11 days and I am not drinking nor do I have the desire. The past time I tried Nal I took 50 mg before bed, (they said it would make me sleepy),I drank and I fell right back into my 24-7 habit. I now take 25 mg in am and 25 in pm. I take 5mg 3 x a day of Baclofen (a muscle relaxer) along with the Nal.
I feel really hopeful on this program.
It's confusing because Dr. Sinclair promotes drinking along with the Nal and hopefully that is working for people. For myself, I think it's best if I just don't drink. I do have the book on order and I will read it.
Another time I had the shot Vivatrol (?) Naltrexone as a monthly shot, time release. I drank within three days and right back to my 24-7.
Let us know how you do.....

Oceana, has your MD been onboard with your programs? Is that how you're obtaining these meds you've tried?

[Sweaty Betty]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Day 3

Hi All,

Have caught up with the thread, and wanted to pop in and say thank you all for sharing. I'm day 3 and feeling ok. I got through Xmas without too much drama, my Mom was ok until the very end of our visit and then she started making me feel guilty. I ignored her. I'm still jetlagged so have no idea if the lack of AL is affecting my sleep patterns, but I do feel a bit 'spaced out', will post more coherently when I come back to earth!

[Guest]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

cantsayno, yes my Dr. has been on board with me in regards to the meds i am taking. She allows me to research and when I bring her the info I have found we discuss it and she gives me the scripts I ask for. It's great to have a Dr. that will work with you. I try to stay on top of my program and she trusts me not to abuse my meds. I am in Northern California and things here are progressive. I am lucky to have a doctor to work with. I am unable to stop the cravings without the meds. They are really helping me.

I am filled with anxiety regarding the divorce that is in progress because it is very confusing, one day I think he will drop it, and the next day he is all secretive about the going ons of the divorce. I am so very disillusioned as I have stayed by his side thru numerous medical problems he has had including 15 years of him being literally deaf, the years we learned and used sign language as our primary language and prior to this time he had been hard of hearing for 15 years.

He has always had one illness or disability of one sort or another. I have helped him in all of his medical endeavors. Now it is my drinking that is making him sick. I just ask him to stand by me as I go thru my trials with this alcohol problem, but he does not have the ability to see past his own needs. I am very sad and sorry about this.

[USMgirl]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Day 6

Hello everyone!
Ocean, just want to say sorry for all that you are going through now,,,and what you've been through in the past..I really hope that things will soon change. :h

Well, this is day 4 on Campral for me...seems to be completely helping!! I've started a thread on the meds forum and am journaling my progress with it. I just helped me so much to read and learn from the other posts when I was searching for answers, so maybe mine will help someone else!

My day started busy working at home with hubby( we manage several businesses together.) And I've just now come up for air! But I'm feelling good and looking forward to a little bit of a leg work-out this afternoon while I watch Dr. Oz on Oprah! HA!!!
Anyway, have already lost two pounds in the past few days, just from giving up the AL! AMAZING!!!! I was surprised!
You guys have a wonderful day!!!! I hope you all got some rest last night (how bout you New Day???) and are looking forward to another clear, sober, and peaceful day! :happyheart:

[CS04]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

I thought I had posted on this thread last night, because Jamms and Peanut wished me well and said I was doin' fine. Well I am not doin' fine. My b-day was Sunday, and I told myself that after my b-day I would get my act together. No such luck. I am avoiding all my problems and making the biggest one worse -- al. I am sorry to be negative or whiny. I know I need a plan and I am just too scared to start AGAIN. I had some AF time in the spring and summer, and fell off the wagon, so I guess I am afraid of failure AGAIN or worse.

[Peanut]

PROGRAM '09 WEEK #1 Jan 1

Oh CS - don't be afraid of failure!! You have to keep trying, otherwise you will never know the joys of success!!! Just think how proud you will be tomorrow morning if you just this once, forgo the wine (it is wine you drink, right?) And when you do it - I KNOW you can do it - then all the other problems you feel you are avoiding may not be as unmanageable as you seem to think. You never know!! It's worth a try!! But please, don't feel like a failure!! This is not an easy task, and one day, something WILL click and you WILL find the success you are looking for!
Love to you!!
xoxo peanut