Fabulous New Site

[Bambino]

Hiya Everyone.

Wot an excellent new site - well done - it's well impressive !!

This is day 3 - fellin goooood !!!
have changed login name from Mio Bambino to just Bambino. I am tryin to download an avatar of Bambi. i have a T/B horse called Bambi - so you can see the connection. I am deeply , deeply ashamed to say that I haven't ridden her in 5 weeks. One of the girls at the yard is excercising her for me. I couldn't face goin down there anymore reeking of wine. I probably have been kidding myself in the past that they couldn't smell it but realisation and shame has fallen upon me of late.
I fell off once at a showjumping event because i was absolutley legless... how irresponsible . I was swigging wine secretly in my tackroom before my class .:s
With me - i dont actually know how drunki I am until I black out or start flinging anything that comes to hand around the house. ( AAAAAHHHHH ) - the only indication is that I get very talkative and over confident and i think I am hilarious !!! - i must have appeared to be a bit of an arse most of the time... Lately though alcohol made me less and less confident, so much that i haven't even been out of the house for 3 weeks or answered the door. So the reason I was drinking was counter-acting itself
I was so paranoid i used to creep around the house in case anyone caught sight of me through the window. and I wouldn't go out - unless with my husband - just in case anyone spoke to me.
I realised that this needed to change - i hope that I can stick with it. Hopefully with this site and the cd's and book - when they come ( I don't know how long they'll take to get to UK - I hope soon !!) I WILL be able to DO IT -

Love to you
Bambino
xxx

[Wayneuk2006]

Fabulous New Site

Hiya Bambino,
Day 3 was my hardest,your doing really well.Soon it will be a week..then 2.
What i did was the money i would have spent on alcahol i saved till the end of the week then went out and bought myself something.Little things like that help.
Anyway Keep it up,and your right....You can do it.......Wayne

[deanie]

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Hi Bambino,

I read with interest your post about your horse and riding experiences. My middle daughter is an equestrian and shows quite a bit. I know how committed, strong and courageous you have to be to compete like you do. I am looking forward to hearing about future shows when you compete healthy and clearheaded. I know you can do it. The wonderful thing about animals is they love you no matter what. Bambi loves you and misses you. The first day out at the barn might be tough for you (regarding facing the humans) but, you can do it. If you are like my daughter, you are extremely connected to your horse. Sometimes we get ourselves worked up and concerned and are scared to go somewhere we may have embarrassed ourselves, but the past is simply that! Hold your head high, put a smile on your beautiful face and go ride Bambi. I bet you will feel a whole lot better having Bambi back in your life. I've seen the freedom, pure joy and love on my daughter's face when she rides. I'm sure you have suffered enough these past five weeks. Don't punish yourself anymore.

Big hugs,

Deanie

[Bambino]

Fabulous New Site

Thanks Wayne and Deanie for your uplifting comments..
What you have said about Bambi has been a great comfort. i miss her terribly , and what you said about holding up my head is true - it's just that first time back down at the stables. my hubbie reckons that no-one knows anything . I have said to them on loads of occasions - oh I've just been out for lunch with one of my mates - they must think I've got loads of mates who 'do lunch' most days !!! I hope they just think I'm a bit nuts not an ole soak !!! I'm not so sure tho - paranoia !!!
I could physically go down now, but hubby thinks should wait till finish my course of Librium and it has only been 4 days. And although I'm just probably putting it off - I'll go with what he says until I build up my confidence again.
Hearing sentiments like yours is building it up more and more.

Thanks once again and good luck

Love hugs and kisses
Bambino
xxx

[sujul]

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Hey Bambino!
Congratulations on day 3 (well, day 4 now, isn't it? )

About that embarrassment...I've finally realized that most people aren't paying as much attention to me as I thought! I may be the center of MY universe, but I'm not the center of theirs! What a revelation!

Keep your head up--you've got what it takes: COURAGE!!

And we'd love to see you on the monthly abs event board--check it out! You too, Wayne and Deanie!
:l
susan

[deanie]

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Hi Bambino and all my new friends,

I concur with Susan, I am not so sure everyone pays such close attention to our behaviour...right on, everyone is too concerned about themselves to notice. Anyway, glad to hear you are feeling good. So happy to hear. Day 16 for me. Feeling GOOD! I am noticing subtle things lately. Sleeping sounder, less anger, more patience. WOW! The tapes do work. I went to dinner with my middle daughter last night. Salad buffet place. I never wanted to have dinner there. No wine , except the yucky stuff in the tinie, tiny bottles. Last night I drank water...Did not miss wine in the least. This is the first Friday in years and years I did not drink. I have been staying AF Sunday-Thursday and allowing a glass or two on Friday or Saturday. Not sure I will even be drinking wine at dinner tonight. UNBELIEVABLE. I even went to a movie last night with my daughter. In the past I don't do that either. Movies out cut way in to my drinking time at home! I am also taking the supps regularly. Exercise at least every other day. Since I have ballooned up in the past year, I am also thrilled to report three pounds lost.

Have a wonderful Saturday,

Deanie

[Bambino]

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Hi Deanie and everyone

I know what you mean - I haven't been to the movies in YEARS, I don't want to go ANYWHERE where there wasn't alcohol available - McDonalds - A cafe - A walk - Used to muck out my horse and then rush home for my 'fix' It was a bloody great demon I was piggy-backing around with me - constantly whispering in my ear. We went to a wedding last month - under great duress because I knew that I wouldn't be able to drink until the reception late in the afternoon. I drank wine and lemonade out of an old coke bottle in the car journey up there - about 2 hours long and of course I smuggled a bottle of wine into the hotel room - forgot the bottle opener - DAMNATION !!!
Used the handle of my hair brush and pushed with all my might to push in the cork !! Even thought about tryin to smash of the top - desperate times call for desperate measures !! - The hairbrush did the trick.... eventually !!!
At the reception I had wine with orange juice in it - it was my husbands friends wedding and I didn't want them to think I was a boozer.
It's bad how you get so sneaky and quite frankly I'm tired, tired, tired of it.
Let's hope that bloody demon will stay off my back and go back to Hell where he belongs FOR GOOD.

As long as I can draw upon all of your strengths and inspirational messages I feel really positive
Love and hugs to you all :h
Bambino
xxx

[Bambino]

Fabulous New Site

P.S Well done on the 3 pounds Deanie !!

SOOOOOOPER xxx