Here I am again!!!

[debruce]

I am not new here. I have been off and on this site for over a year. I have had mixed success.
Now my problem is that I don't know how to stop after 1 drink.........I know you are all saying "join the club". I so wish I could just have 1-2 glasses of wine and stop, but no, I have to keep going until I don't know or remember what I have done. Now this is scaring the pants off me. I have black outs even after 1-2 drinks. I can not have any!!!!
I have 2 days AF and have started Campral this morning. This has to work as I have to get off this merry go round. It is so exhausting.
I hope everyone on this site is doing well and just needed to get this off my chest.
:thanks:

[Beaches]

Here I am again!!!

Welcome back debruce and you are right, you are not alone. Congrats on 2 days.

[Arial]

Here I am again!!!

A big welcome back Debruce, from someone who's also just returned, and with a similar story - why can't we stop at 1??! Finally am facing the fact that I can't, no matter how much I wish to. It seems to be all or nothing, so nothing it now has to be.

So great to have you here, many congratulations on a great start and fighting attitude - you're going to need it! so keep strong, keep posting and good luck as you take back control of your life - a new future lies in wait!

[cymru]

Here I am again!!!

welcome back. Campral is a great help, but i would also recommend Kudz. Personally, i find this better to stop cravings when they are really bad.

[startingover]

Here I am again!!!

Hi there Debruce. Welcome back!
Yes, I think most of us have been in the same position you are in right now. For me, its the same as you. No more. But the cravings in the early days can get pretty bad. Like Cym, I would recommend you try kudzu, I also take this and lglutamine. Both are really helpful.
Great going on the 2days, good luck with many many more.

[ylfa]

Here I am again!!!

Hello. I am really the blackout queen , black out hell is over my all the time. Old shame and pain in stomach thinking about what really happened this 2 or 3 ours before I came to my bed. Yes I understand, I am just having 2 or 3 beers maybe 4 and I am in blackout.
Read my old posts then you see you are not alone.
Take care
Ylfa

[brightlite]

Here I am again!!!

2008 has been my blackout year. I seem to think that I can have 2 glasses of wine to relax, but something happens after I finish the 2nd glass, I kick into overdrive or it just starts the engine and I drink 3 to 4 more glasses until blackout. Most embarrassing is the next day when you don't know what you have said. Its like all the thoughts that I have been thinking about privately in my head leak out and I start saying stuff I should keep to myself.

[todsflove2]

Here I am again!!!

Hi Bruce,

Welcome back! I am also not new here. I was sober for two years and then had a minor nervous breakdown/collapse in mid-December due to pressure from work and my family. I am regaining my continous sobriety. I am starting to think that I cannot even have one drink and be ok. It's never enough for me. I need to work on improving all aspects of my life (physical, mental, spiritual) and talk myself out of having the first drink. I wanted a drink so bad last night after my therapy session, and drove by two liquor stores on the way home, but then talked myself out of it bigtime because I do not want to loose the two weeks or so of sobriety.

Hang in there! We are here to support each other.

Tina

[cmhguy3]

Here I am again!!!

Welcome!

[debruce]

Here I am again!!!

Thanks heaps guys for the responses. I am feeling a little more positive, start of day 4 today. I watched the you tube video that someone in another post recommended to watch. Called "Hard Rain". Oh my god, talk about an eye opener. It left a huge impact on me and I don't want to go down that road. Worth watching.
Have a good day all
xx

[dlw]

Here I am again!!!

Hi Debruce, welcome.
I will never be able to moderate, I am an all or nothing person,
Keep Strong

[time2change]

Here I am again!!!

Welcome back. Congratulations on day 4.

[debruce]

Here I am again!!!

Morning all. Well the start of day 5. Bit of a toughie yesterday, I was so tempted to just have 1 glass of wine in the afternoon..........and we all know where that would have led me!!!!
BUT I didn't give in. And that does feel good this morning.
Hope you are all doing ok
xx