New and want to stop completely

[fundrunk]

Hey there. I just registered because I want to make it clear that I want to stop the insanity. I'm a binge drinker. I drink every weekend a lot. I tend to get veeery drunk and I blackout a lot. I also become this entirely different person sometimes...reeally annoying and no self control at all. Thing is, I also have good nights out. Nights when everything is great and I'm a lot of fun etc. I drink to become more sociable but as I said that sometimes backfires and I become antisocial. Slept in the police station just before Christmas coz I was being provocative towards some police officers.
One of the hardest thing are the withdrawals. If I drink one night they're not so bad but I can't stop at "just" one night so I drink again and sometimes it becomes more. Like during Christmas and New Years it has been everyday. Had the most terrible withdrawals a few days back. I just lay in my bed, couldn't sleep, felt really restless and if I'd had some booze I would have drank it. I think I was psychotic also but I'm not sure. I was lying trying to get just a little bit of sleep and all of a sudden I was seeing things in my room but then suddenly I just snapped out of it and came back to reality. It was like an extremely real dream. Not sure if I was dreaming or being psychotic. What do you guys think??

Anyway. Haven't had a drink since New Year and I really want to do this but I'm feeling weak. There's a battle going on. There's a part of me that doesn't believe I can do it, since so much of my life revolves around drinking. It's like I don't WANT to stop but I really really feel I have to...damn!!

I was sober for 2 months not long ago. Felt good. But then I slowly got back into the crazy drinking. Started with a few social beers some evenings, went fine, no prob. Then I started to have some more and suddenly I was back to the old me. I usually don't drink alone but lately I've started doing it. Sometimes to relieve a hangover, other times just because it feels good.

Well. Just wanted to share and I wish all of you good luck in becoming sober and congrats to all of you who are doing a good job at it!! It sure is hard to remain sober, isn't it??

Hope I can do it this time around.

L8er

[dill]

New and want to stop completely

Welcome! You have found a good place to get support and information. And WOW! You went 2 months! Now that proves you can do it! I'm sitll hoping to make 5 days! Today is day 3 for me. Anyway, if you don't give up, you'll reach your goals. Best wishes!

[time2change]

New and want to stop completely

Welcome. Remember how great it felt when you were sober for 2 months and don't give up. You can do it again.

[Evie.Lou]

New and want to stop completely

You are very welcome here..
You proved to yourself that you could make 2 months AF...That is HUGE.
You will find all the tools that you need, waiting here on this site.We will be here to help along the way...OK ???

[savon19]

New and want to stop completely

"Love, Joy, Peace are won on the battlefield of the soul, not in rushing or striving in the physical world."

I think I'm FEELING your courage. I need to feel that... and you have IT.

[Delta Moon]

New and want to stop completely

This is a great place to come to for support and help. Stay close and be open to change in your life.
God bless.

[todsflove2]

New and want to stop completely

Hello and :welcome:!


Just like the others said, two months AF is great and you can do it again!

I am also a binge drinker. I can go months without a drink but then I have a trigger and can binge for a few days, normally during weekends. It's been a lot of hard work (CDs, supps, books, friends) but I now have the mind set that I am not going to drink for my sanity and my health. I tell myself that I am not going to make any rash decisions and wait to think about it for 24 hours before making a run to the market. It is working, but I'm still a work in progress. Two days ago I wanted a drink, but settled instead on going to the bakery for a chocolate croissant (my other weakness -- it brings back memories of my Grandmother from childhood).

You did this before and will do it again. We are all here to support you through the journey.

Tina

[cmhguy3]

New and want to stop completely

Glad you found us!

[JAMMS]

New and want to stop completely

fundrunk- the mind can play some really f'ed up tricks on us. perhaps your mind was telling you...."if you want me to stopf'ing with you you'd better stop drinink so f'ing much" and that's what all those hallucinations were about the other night. OR it could have been from lack of sleep and to much booze OR could be you have a chemical enbalance My money is on the booze and lack of sleep.

Anyway, you do want to stop otherwise you would not have found MWO. If you really didn't want to stop AL (alcohol) you would never have started to look for us. Lucky for you...you have found us!

You are not weak.
You can do this.
You do believe you can do this.

2 months is a long time to go without AL. You can do it, stick around. Keep posting.Keep reading...like I tell all the newbies.....get the book, read it.....order some kudzu to start with....consider Topa or another med. talk to a Dr. Everyone here is in the same boat.No one judges anyone.

Stay Strong :l

[Accountable for Me]

New and want to stop completely

Binge drinking sucks! I am a binger myself.

We are the type of drinkers that should be AF completely. The damage we are doing to our organs, our brains and in our lives is devastating.

Sobriety is tough at times without a doubt. But with the want, the will, and determination we can do this. For me I am just so sick and tired being balled and chained to the bottle when I do binge. I would rather chew on wood and get through a tough time than ever return to the bottle again.

Good for you for wanting to make the change in your life! I hope to see you around.

[ezzmae]

New and want to stop completely

Also a weekend binge drinker. Also I know that if I drink on Saturday I will drink on Sunday to relieve the hangover. I got so sick of starting Monday with hangover. I joined mid December and since then I have binge twice, I am now on Day 7 and I can feel my energy levels soar. I find that just being here and reading and posting is helping me to stay on track. The 2 days I binged were days I did not log on.

I am trying to stay AF for as long as possible. I am also afraid to try to moderate because for me I think it might be a slippery road back to where I started. As seemed to be the case for you.

[fundrunk]

New and want to stop completely

Hey guys! Thank you so much for your replies, they are indeed inspirational. It's great to have the opportunity to talk on this forum, coz I have a hard time talking to other people about my problem. I know a lot of people know I have a problem, but it's a very tough subject on these islands where binge drinking really is a huge part of the culture. My behaviour is accepted! Maybe not by everyone but by those I surround myself by. It's a sensitive subject and so it is hard to come clean and say you wanna quit forever and get some real support.
Both parents are also alcoholics and I've given them a hard time for a long time about their drinking. Now it's me, and wow..it's a tough one!! I feel very alone. I have some really close friends that are supportive but even they don't seem to understand how huge I feel my problem is. Maybe I'm not being honest enough, I don't know.

If I could I would moderate but deep inside I know that it IS a slippery slope down to the old me.

I feel depressed and confused. I don't feel like "me". Not the real me. I feel that alcohol has deprived me from what I am able to be. But I'm not pessimistic as such. I can see a brighter and better future but only if I can abstain from the (bloody) alcohol, which I love so much that I hate it!

Thanks again so much! I'll check back with you