I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

[A n d r e w]

First, I would like to thank everyone for the warm welcome I recieved when posting on the site. It feels so much better knowing that I have people that understand me. :thanks:
The hardest thing that I am facing right now is the extreme change that I am going to face.
Most of my closest friends drink. My relatives drink. All of the activities that I partake in involve drinking. I guess I'm scared to make such a drastic change. I'm afraid of having my life completely empty until I can find may way to sobriety. I have been a drunk for so long that everything in my life has attached itself directly or indirectly to alchohol. My father is a dry drunk. He stopped about 25 years ago but since then he has been mostly a miserable SOB. I'm afraid I will end up like that.

[startingover]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Hi Andrew.. your post made me smile when you mentioned your dad...yes I know that worry, we always feel that without the drink we will never laugh, or be entertaining again and that we will spend our lives in a bored abyss of despair. Well, yes we could do that, or we can add more things to our lives. I have found since being sober that I have much more patience and interest in doing different things. For example I am doing an open university course and enjoying it. I read more, I exercise more. Yes, there is still much room for improvement, for example in socialising etc. But Rome wasnt built in a day and neither was my sobriety :-) Initially I was afraid of being around people who were drinking, but now its not so bad. I dont think I would enjoy hanging around in a bar for hours on end any more, but there is nothing to stop me spending a short time there. Plus I find drunk people really really boring.
I hope this helps a little, just take things slowly. You'll get there..

[Evie.Lou]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

I understand your concern...we all have to face issues,like this.
I am more afraid of what will happen if i don't make the drastic change a continue to be the way was...I would end up a bitter old Drunk..if I lived long enough to get old.
recovery is a process...try not to look to far ahead, in the early days. Just focus on staying sober for that moment...hour...day.
life will be alot easier to figure out when you have some AF time under your belt.
At least it has been for me.

[veritas]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Hi Andrew,:welcome:
Yes, I understand how you feel. Very few of my friends are non drinkers. I am just finding that waking up sick and ashamed is worse than staying sober.

In terms of your dad, maybe he was grumpy drunk as well as sober. The recovering alcoholics I know have been examples of what it means to live life to the full. I know that I don't need alcohol to make me happy, if anything it made me unhappy. The depression and irritability I felt after a night of drinking outweighs any "high" from the night before.

[Mohun]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

It can be done Andrew. I am in a field of business where socializing is mandatory. Dinners, drinks, etc...It isn't easy at first, but after a while, I found out that others didn't drink as much as I thought they did. And, the most successful people didn't drink very much at all.

It can't hurt to try.

[OverIt2007]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Hello Andrew. Im newly sober, but feeling my confidence growing everyday. I hope I can add in my own advice. You say that you are afraid of the changes you will have to face? But have you thought about the joy and happiness you may feel when you finally defeat your drinking problem? You found this website because you know you have a problem and want to change. Dont be afraid of the change. Welcome it as a new adventure to a brand new and sober life. Just take the plunge if you really want to. The rewards are on the otherside, and you can say with confidence that you did it. BTW I smile BIG smiles every morning when I say to myself "I did it". Sober is NOT boring!!! Sober is living and being in contol of your destiny. Sober is empowering! Best of luck to you.

[OverIt2007]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Hey Andrew. I was just thinking, just because everyone else you know drinks and everything seems to revolve around drinking, doesnt mean its right for you. You are an individual unique to anyone else. You do not have to end up like your father. If your lifestyle and friends are causing you grief, it is possible for you to make some changes get involved with some new people who share your same goals of sobriety? Making new sober friends, or try something new you have never done before? A new hobby perhaps??

[A Work in Progress]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Good advice above, Andrew. I'd only add this: in some ways the changes you are making will be, and must be, fairly large. Not drinking when you want to, when you usually do, and when others expect you to; changing your thinking and attitudes about alcohol; incorporating healthy activities like exercise, hobbies, other stuff that will fit into the time when you used to be drinking... these are major changes. And in other ways, it won't be nearly as drastic as you think... People get used to someone not drinking, after a while... and it becomes a non-issue. If you are smart, you will find ways to begin to associate with non-drinkers or very light drinkers... and then it even more easily becomes a non-issue.

Change is difficult... and this kind of change will re-pay you, for your pain and efforts, over and over in ways you can't yet imagine!

[Sue Ellen]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

What wonderful advice from everyone - I am in a similar situation to you but (now on day 6 AF) find waking up sober outweighs EVERYTHING ELSE!!! I gave up about 8 years ago for 2 years (and then stupidly started again) but I found that even though I was self conscious about not drinking - in reality hardly anyone noticed! When I reminded my mum recently she couldn't even remember! xx

[todsflove2]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Andrew,

I had a similar situation. Now at business functions, I get virgin mixed drinks and noone has said anything. I also tell people (right or wrong) that I am taking medicine where I cannot drink alcohol. It keeps myself safe and people just say, "oh."

How you find your way through this journey, we are supporting you. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Tina

:H

[IAD]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

Andrew......make a list of all the positive things that can happen when you drink, case in point ie; picture. You'll find a lot more positive reasons not to drink. ( about your dad.....you know I had a Grandfather that was a mean SOB.....drinking had nothing to do with it ! Ha! ) Welcome aboard ! IAD.

[Laurel]

I'm scared to make such a drastic change.

I have that fear as well, all my friends are drinkers, many have the same problem as me but haven't come to terms with it yet. And it really sucks because when I moderate I sit there holding my beer counting the sips and trying to drink it s.l.o.w.l.y., still be sociable but I find myself being shy and quiet and introverted. What a bore!