MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

[Ask For Help]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hi all:
I'm a modder for the past year and have been advocating (rather spectacularly unsuccessfully, i might add!) for NOT starting back at Day 1 after a drink. Its so AA and why do we need to buy into that, I do ask you?

Rather, either skip the drinking day and keep counting, (footnoting the slip, if you MUST) or as someone suggested, set your goals on "how many AF days can I achieve in this month? "

I highly recommend using a journal or Drink Tracker on MWO as a tool. The advantage of DrinkTracker is knowing that not only your friends, but you yourself and those who you've never seen before can measure how your actions match your words; I find this a great motivator to ask myself " Do I really need/want that next drink?"

I have 12 months history on Drink Tracker (which you can look up), and I can tell you it puts the "bumps" or "blips" into perspective. The "embarrassment" of my 2008 February vacation "slips' is now part of my valued experience about how vacations are really different. There are rare "5" (a full 750 bottle) in the last year; this was my usual intake 4 - 5 days/week prior to MWO.

Sorry for the pontificating, but hope that you hear that I am in your corner saying EVERYTHING is a learning experience if you can try to see it that way, if not in the moment, then in retrospect.

You all are doing SO GREAT!!! Keep up the good work, and could you PLEASE, as a favor to me, PLEASE not start over at Day 1? :H

I would be sleep better tonight.:thanks:

Fondly,


Ask

PS: This is really "out there" for me, but since this is a program thread, rather than an AF thread, I'm taking a chance at putting this out there as emphatically as I have. xxoo

[Ask For Help]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Sara: Cross posted :
I'm now happier that I posted what I did. You're the bees knees.
Ask

[New Day]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Ask and Peanut ---- I also agree ... I think it's so discouraging to have to start at Day 1 each time. I think the idea of keeping track of AF days over a month is a great idea. I already mark my own calendar for each AF day and see at a glance how I'm progressing.

So, here we are on the 9th of January and I can say I've had 8 days AF. Sounds much better than saying I'm on day 1 again! Feels more successful and encouraging to continue that way.

Sara, never feel like you can't post ... if you don't we can't help you .... as you can see, we all need it! LOL!

Peanut .... congrats on day 9! Go girl!

So Ask For Help ---- I hope you sleep well tonight!

[Cat Belle]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hey everybody! Wow, so much has gone on yesterday!! Dill, I also read about day 4/5 being the hardest, but it seems day 8/9 are sucking...had another meltdown this evening. Sent the husband to the grocery store and told him to worry about dinner - went into the bathroom and had an ugly cry...I Dont Cry, Ever....probably because I just drink it away instead. I finally ran a long hot bath, lit the candles and tried to listen to creepy guy on the CD"S. Anyway, still hangin in here on day 9. Dear Lord let it get better

JAMMS, Peanut, Sara, ND - sounds like you guys have a great plan in place to mod and definitely a more positive way of looking at things. It's a plan!

As for me I have to try to keep going AF, I know I cannot mod now. I don't know if I ever can.

So we all keep truckin' along and supporting each other -- i really appreciate the insight I get from yall

Have great night!

Cat

[Sarasmiles]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Cat Belle;515484 wrote: I finally ran a long hot bath, lit the candles and tried to listen to creepy guy on the CD"S.

Cat, that is so funny...Something about your wording just set me giggling! I'm sorry it was a rough day, though. Good for you for telling Hubby to take care of dinner, so you could take care of yourself for a bit; and have a little quality time with creepy guy.

This group is really coming together.

Oh darn...My seven year old just appeared with his little angel face, asking me, "Do you want to play with me, Mommy?" No. No I don't. Not right now. But, I can't say that...So I'm off to play. This is the middle child, who has been saying lately, "you always play with my brothers more than me..." Probably not true, but it works on me...Must try to keep those future therapy bills to a minimum, if possible. I'll check in later. Sara

[dill]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

- went into the bathroom and had an ugly cry...I Dont Cry, Ever....probably because I just drink it away instead. I finally ran a long hot bath, lit the candles and tried to listen to creepy guy on the CD"S. Anyway, still hangin in here on day 9. Dear Lord let it get better

Cat, Do you even know what the 'ugly cry' was about? Anything in particular, or just mood swing related to getting off alc? I am sorry you had such a bad evening. I hope things improved after the bath and the trip down the "pleasant staircase" (previously dusted and swept!). I find a bath with scented candles to be very relaxing and rejuvinating. Did it work? Please say yes!

I did the bath with candles last night, too. Then I kept busy on the internet and sort of watching a movie with my husband. It was a documentary about antarctica and I was only half watching. It was beautiful cinematography though and they did lots of under ice sea diving. Amazing sites!

Good luck to all today. May we stay AF together!

[Cat Belle]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Dill, I think it's a culmination of everything. I was on campus most of the day yesterday getting ready for classes to start Monday, and the stress started building. Knowing that here come the tests, the paperwork, the papers , the prep work for NCLEX, the projects, the early morning clinicals, and doing it all while staying AF. I will really miss that "reward" at the end of the day. I think it has been easier up until now because I've been in a "cocoon" (sp??) of sorts with the Christmas break and now I'm about to be forced back into "real" life.

The bath was great and it did help me calm down and focus. But that guy....why does it have to be a "pleasant staircase you wouldn't mind descending"? I've never met a staircase I was afraid of until now....and since Sara has swept it, I find myself descending, one step at a time...with a broom in hand...just in case.

After dinner I watched that new show with Howie Mandel- [I]Howie Do It[I] which was pretty funny, so I got a few laughs from there!

Anyway, hang in everybody!

talk to yall later

Cat

[dill]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Why I Caved

Cat, the day I caved in was my second day back at work and a day that I am exposed to a significant trigger in my work environment. So, I completely understand your apprehension of getting back to the grind. I will pe sending postitive thoughts your way.

The trigger in my work environment isn't even a drinker. She's a stress talker. She talks constantly about her kids and work issues when she is under stress and you cannot get her to stop. I absorb all the stress as I'm 'listening'. Do any of you have people like that in your worlds?

[USMgirl]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Good morning everyone!
It sure sounds like we few are on our way to getting over our little bump in the road...as I said in an earlier post, I'm not going back to day 1. That's like saying "well, Day 1-7 didn't count for anything."
That's BS! They damn well count in my world and I'm going to keep them! So, I'm on Day 9 today.

I just want to say how much it is helping to read what you guys are all posting! There is something in every post that I can relate too or learn from.
Thanks for being there!!!! :thanks:
Get out and have a great Saturday!! I'm going to try and work-out this pm. I know it will make me feel good!!!
Hugs to all! :l

[Peanut]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hahahah!! Cat - you've given me a good laugh today - that darned staircase will never be the same for me again!!

Dill - my technician at work is like your trigger person at work. She talks incessantly, and I will be trying to concentrate and she goes on and on and on about her kids and every other possible thought in her head. I am not adverse to conversation at work, but I do believe she could moderate it a bit. I've had the comment "how can you work with her" many times, and there are some who avoid the coffee room when she is there, when they just can't handle it, so it isn't just me!!!! Problem with talking too much, is mistakes get made because of lack of concentration, and that really doesn't impress me much. When it gets too much, I run away to my office to work (although she has to stop there and ask me questions about every 3 minutes) - enough to drive anybody to drink!!

So, I'm 8 AF/1AL for the month - phooey - BF opened the bottle of chamagne that has been in my fridge since LAST new years, and I succumbed. But, we had a fun dance party - even taught my son to salsa - or tried to anyhow!! Gotta love these 17yo guys - even his red-hdeaded buddy was dancing. I'm amazed I had any energy for it as I swam 2500m at the pool and was rather pooped and didn't get back home until 11pm! It's amazing how that salsa rhythm can get a person going!!

It is my BF's son's 17th b-day today, so I have a cake in the oven and we went and bought him a "toy" - remote controlled little heilicopter. Everybody needs a toy, right????

OK - must take my dog for a run, as it has warmed up out there to -10C which is positively balmy compared to what we have been living with!
xoxo peanut

[1morechance]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hello everyone
Haven't been feeling well (sore throat and swollen tonsils). I've been feeling sick since yesterday morning but last night and today it really hit me. Between naps and gargling with warm salt water, I've managed to made it through 1/2 of Roberta's book. I bought the book a few months ago but skimmed through it. I'm half way and can't seem to find where she recommends 30 days AF.

I read her journey and her friends journey and they were mod through out the 4 weeks. Have any of you read the book and know where I can find the recommendation? Did they mod because they were taking the topa? From what I've read the combination of supp, cd's, exercise and topa really took away the craving almost immediately.

At the beginning of the book she talks about how she tried conventional and even uncoventional stuff like moderation management which didn't work for her because they recommend 30 day of AF before mod. I guess I need to keep reading.

I haven't had any cravings but I have had thoughts which I was able get over after I had a nice greasy dinner last night (pizza, and chicken wings). Cat I also watched the Howie Mandel show last night, it was funny.

Hope everyone meets their goal today!

[dill]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

OneMore, Sorry you haven't been feeling well. Hope you feel better very soon!
I haven't read the book.
I tried to download it on-line and that didn't work. I can't answer your question. Sorry! Maybe someone else can.

But what really matters is us. What we want.
And we have to figure out a way to get it.

[JAMMS]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

okay...ihave so much to say...but i do not have the time right now... i'm very glad that we are doing the af/al per month thing....

there are so many post that I just skimmed buy are full of so much "updatedness" I will have to read again when I have more time to focus.... just a few things'...

1more---read the whole book....you will understand more if what is posted about "the program" and supps....

Peanut-I agree with everything you are saying...question..did you notice a difference in how you " partied" this time? Did you feel a little more mature? Any difference or was it the same as before when you dranl al?

CAT- I understand about seeing staircases differenly...you do what is best for you...:l

more nest time...

btw I was AF today...hockey and laundry most of my day....then just chilled with the family

[redhibiscus]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Wow, this is an amazing thread. I would really like to be in this group as I am on the same journey as everyone and need the support.

I agree that this is a journey and that one slip does not negate all the days of being AF. I have been trying off and on since last spring and have slowly made progress. I used to drink 5 days a week, then slowly cut down the days. However, I noticed that when I drink, I lose control and drink too much. That is why I know that abstinence is the only way for me personally. Getting more and more days AF I have begun to develop habits and the ability to handle evenings without booze. I am still working on it though.

One thing I noticed is that I am having a really hard time handling anxiety...I worry excessively about everything. I think I drink to numb myself and focus on my physical symptoms with my hangovers. I am working on staying calm and focusing on positive thinking but it is hard.

It is so good to see others making significant progress in their sober journey. Thanks everyone for being so honest.

[Cat Belle]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hey IMC - hope you are feeling better today? Jamms, thanks for the hugs!! Glad you had a nice day with the family yesterday - congrats on being AF - hockey and laundry, huh? What a combo! LOL

Red - welcome, this is a great bunch here and we look forward to hearing from you! I am having a problem with handling anxiety, anger...I just don't think I have very good coping skills after so many years of drinking. It is something I need to work on, and hopefully will become easier the more AF days I get.

Yesterday was the first time I had absolutely no cravings/thoughts of drinking while cooking. No nervousness lead up to the witching hour...it was so chill I was/am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Today is day 11, hubby's b-day. I'm off to cook a Red Velvet cake - he's outside washing/waxing the sport trac. Is that anyway to spend a bday? so weird....

USMgirl --where are you??


Hope yall have a good one!

Cat