MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

[dill]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hi, All! Day 9 for some, unfortunately, not for me. I hit a bump yesterday and caved. I feel awful about it. I am going to try to learn from it though, and I WILL get back on track. What I learned was that it wasn't worth it. Absolutely wasn't. I am definitely not ready to mod. I am feeling like crap this morning. It's kind of a nice reminder though. I realize that I used to wake up feeling this way nearly every day. Not a good thing.
I got on here last night and read all these posts of you friends that were struggling. I wish I had posted instead of giving in.
I don't know if I'll "start over" on the counting. I might just stop counting and just keep marking AF days on my calendar. If a day isn't marked, I can subtract if I need to have a total number of days to mark an achievement for myself. Starting over at DAY 1 would feel too much like a defeat, and I need to feel positive.
Hope you all have a good day!

[USMgirl]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Well, you guys.....I have to tell you....
When I got home form pottery class last night, hubby had a friend over watching the game....and I had some wine....just two glasses, but it was just peer pressure...I came home, had absolutely no craving at all, but when I got home and they where there in the kitchen......I just caved....I hate it....
I feel bad, not physically.....but you know...
this is not what I wanted to do....man, it turned around so quick....
I hate it...am really down this am...going back to bed.

[New Day]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Good day everyone --- Dill, USM ---- I caved in last night too.... I had achieved my first 7 days AF ever, so I'm still happy about that. I'm not going to be angry at myself though ... it's like a release I needed. I fought it off through the dinner preparation and had milk with dinner, but sitting down to watch the hockey game .... I just really wanted the taste of wine again.

Yogini --- you are so right .... if I have just a bump here and there, it's still a huge improvement from where i was! Thanks for that.

So, it's done, it's over and I will be AF today.

[JAMMS]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

okay...me and USMgirl had 2 glasses of wine last night....not bad....ND had (what I'm assuming) was a small amount of AL last night while watching a hockey game..again that's not bad...:goodjob: to all of us.....

Dill- you didn' specify how much AL you consumed last night ..but if you went overboard don't beat yourself up...it happens..we're here for you! You have more AF days then al days keep track that way its more encouraging....and don't feel defeated......your only defeated if you give up...okay? be strong :l


Busy day today, I probably wont beback until this evening.....chin up everyone!

[New Day]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hey Jamms ---- I have to admit, it wasn't a small amount --- I drank the whole 750ml bottle of wine. Was going to leave the last 2 glasses, but that would have been there tempting me tonight ... so I got it over with. I didn't go to the Scotch afterwards, which I normally would have (or opened a 2nd bottle).... so I'm feeling fine today. Going to the gym now to burn off those calories ... the wine and the sandwich I had at 11:00 pm!

Have a good day ... will check in later too.

[Cat Belle]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hey guys---day 9 here---don't have much time, looks like alot going on---chek in later

Cat

[Peanut]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

New Day - you sound like me with the drinking. After 750mL bottle, I need just a little more. I will even drink beer after that if there is no more wine to open. Seems I require 1L of wine to get me to the point where I finally say "enough".

Jamms, Dill, USMgirl - just a bump in a long, long road. You all going AF today???

I was good though, and didn't drink last night. Kept busy though. I used to always make my own wine, as I couldn't really afford my wine habit. So last spring I bought a kit and shortly after, found MWO and never made it. I figure, if it has to be made, I better make it soon, as it will go bad though, so I was going to make it in November for Christmas. Well, finally last night, my son said he wanted to make it, so I showed him how to do it, we did it together, and now there is a batch of wine on. Aiy!!!!! I usually take about 6 weeks until I bottle it, so I'm safe for a while. In the past, I have even syphoned it out of the carboy to drink it before getting a chance to get it into bottles. I shall not do that this time. Maybe I will store it in my office here at work, so it is not there at home to tempt me when I come to my weak 10:30pm wine o'clock!!! I'm sure my boy will drink some of it too. That guy - he just wants to learn everything these days!!!!! I'm afraid he has cultivated a taste for wine, so I've been warning him - use me as a lesson in what you DON'T want to happen!!!

I have to get back to work - finish milling 12 more samples here. THe work never seems to end at this time of year for me!!

TGIF!!!!
xoxo peanut

[JAMMS]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Cat- Congrats on Day 9!

ND-at least you didn't drink the scotch, right?

My cousin is having his girlfriend over for "gamenight" tonight so, I can not say I will not have a glass of wine since itis still there on the counter...but I do not crave it and I'm not planning to but..you never know. We'll see.

The topa must be working because I really had to force down the almost didn't finish the rest of that second glass last night....and it sat for a while. It was empowering to feel that I could take it or leave it....I gulped the last of it when Oklahoma blew that touchdown right before halftime...WTF! I'm not a Gator fan. I like Florida State.

I was running around with my kids all day...half day of school..my sinusus were bothereing me so I bought a neti pot....i just used it....well....it is winderful!!! I'm so mad at myself for living 39 years and never using one before...I'm using this thing everyday...if any of you have sinus problems and never used one...get one! Immediately!

I also bought myself a "disc man"(I wasn't sure if they still mad them)...with earphones that are supposed to keep out all other noise...maybe now I'll "visualize myself desending the staircase" and " see myself seeing myself".

DILL- where are you? ARe you alright?

[1morechance]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hello everyone,
I'm glad to see you guys posting; it always gives me hope and encourgement. It was nice to wake up clear headed after wednesday's bump in the road. I agree Dill, not having a HO for a week and then waking up with one on Thursday was an eye opener for me it isn't worth it. To think that I was waking up with a HO and trying to function was crazy I don't want to go through that again. It hasn't been as bad as it was before I joined MWO. Although I've had bad AL days since joining MWO, they were less in 2008 than they were in 2007 so I see and feel that there is hope for me and for all of us we just can't give up.

I agree with not going back to "DAY 1" it is just depressing, at least for me. Jamms and USMgirl congrats on mod and not going beyond. I know that's not want you planned and maybe felt peer pressure but the key is that you didn't over do it that's what mod is and what people that drink occasionally do. New Day at least you didn't have anything else after the bottle of wine; we have to count every baby step because that's what's going to give us hope. :l

Hope everyone has a nice weekend. We're supposed to get a storm tomorrow so it looks like a stay at home weekend for me.

[JAMMS]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Okay...so if we don't go back to day 1 where do we go? Do we not count? Do we keep counting? Are we going to just keep track of af/al days by month or week? I'm confused?

[USMgirl]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

As for me, I'm not going back...
I'm counting EVERY SINGLE DAY that I don't drink.
Yesterday is OVER. I'm ready to say " I have 8 sober days behind me, because I do."

I am so ready for tomorrow to get here and this day be history.
Goodnight all....hugs to everyone for a safe and sober week-end.:l

[Peanut]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Why not count AF days in every month, so by the end of the month, you can look back and say, Hey - 26 our of 30 days were AF. That is always nice! Better then, oh, 0 out of 30 days were AF. So if you are 50/50 one month, then you have something to improve upon for the next month. You can mark your calendars that way. AK girl suggested this a while back - mark every day with green that you are AF. By the end of the month, you can see your success.

I agree, it's too hard to keep going back to "day 1". It always seems so negative. Alot of us really just want to get this thing under control so we are not drinking every day of our lives. For me, my initial goals were to not drink on work nights. AFter my first 30 days AF, I managed to do it - almost - for several weeks, but those darn summer holidays came along - hey, no work days!!! Hmmm.. I am still going to aim for that. It has felt great this past week+ to go to work feeling fine - well, rather sleepy, but not HO and stinky!!!! But I do like to relax on a friday or saturday night with some wine. I just have to stop being such a night owl, but I do that even when AF!!!!

What do you think? Any suggestions from anybody else?

[Peanut]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

One more thing - New Day set a new record for herself by beating 7 days AF. I am also on my first day9 since last June. We could always set up our own personal bests, and try to achieve them as we go???

[dill]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

USM, JAMMS, Good Job on just drinking like a regular person! Just a couple of glasses of wine. Wish I had done that. ND, good job at stopping at the end of the bottle. Baby steps! I drank a bottle and then another glass, I think. It’s hard to remember! 1MC, the HO was awful! I had a headache up until noon, felt tired and dehydrated all day and had a busy day in which I had to be able to mentally focus! Very bad day.
Peanut and CB, Good job on not faltering.

You know, I don’t remember reading anywhere that day 8 was a particularly hard day. I’ve heard day 4, but not day 8! But now that I think about it, day 8 is day 4 times 2! Doubly difficult.
Peanut, in answer to your question, I am not planning on drinking today. And now I only have 3-4 hours left till bedtime, so I should be fine.
Yoginin, thanks for the words of encouragement to those of us who stumbled.
Sunshine, we’re all in this together. Any of us can falter at any time. The important thing is that we keep trying!
Peanut, I'm glad you liked the meditations. Hope they help you. I like them, too. Also, I like your idea about doing the monthly tally and trying to improve upon previous month's achievements. Very good. I have been marking my calendar and will continue. I am not in drink tracker. I'm not ready to do that yet. I need more success and confidence before I can do that.

[Sarasmiles]

MWO PROGRAM STARTERS 09 Week 2 Jan 5

Hey,
So now I feel I can check in here again! I was going to bow out, having had one glass of wine on Wednesday night. Didn't want to show my face, so to speak. I don't know, Day 1, Day 8 with a slip....Maybe it's not that important...What's important is to be honest, to look closely at what we're doing, and to keep trying. IMHO