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    #1

    New and looking for some advice

    I don't even know where to start. I started thinking about taking a break from drinking in November. In mid December I decided that I would not drink in 2009 and evaluate at the end of the year whether or not I want to drink any more. Why did I come to this decision?

    I was tired of the hangovers, feeling like shit in work, feeling like shit when I am with my son. I figure that a year off will improve my health, my well being, my productivity in work and at home. I have always worked out frequently but figure I can spend this year really getting into tip top shape. On top of that I estimate that I will likely save around 10k over the course of the year.

    I am not someone who ever sat at home drinking, I very very rarely ever went out and drank by myself. I never drank on a daily basis but would go through some long stretches of drinking daily and also long stretches where I didnt feel like drinking at all. My thing was going out to bars with friends and drinking, going out after work and drinking, going to parties and drinking.

    I don't feel tempted to drink at all, infact, I have gone out to bars multiple times and have not felt the need to drink. I am 8 days in and feel great but the one thing is that I am very bored. I live alone and get sick of sitting around on the internet and watching TV. I used to go to the bar when I got bored. I'm wondering what you all do now that you've quit drinking.

    Thanks
    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.?
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    #2
    New and looking for some advice

    Hah Jimmy! Great for you.

    I think this is the time where you need to remember to "get a life".

    Drinks make you stupid, and fill the time. But as you point out, there's not a lot of point for that. TV is boring and full of ads. The internet is full of the same old junk, and it doesn't change fast enough to be worthwhile.

    Maybe go ask around. Ask what other people do? Ask your parents, or grandparents if they are living. (My Grandpa says: watch football on TV. Uck).

    I figure Alcohol robbed six hours from my every day. Three hours at night, and then three hours recovery in the morning. Adding 56 hours to my week was a huge change.

    I've started a novel, and refocused on work, am also thinking of taking up painting (although I can't fathom the smell of linseed oil in the house... a studio?) I also am focused on my family (dogs) and my garden (winter now).

    Hopefully there are some ideas to start from. Good luck.

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      #3
      New and looking for some advice

      Thanks, yeah I seem to have so much free time now. I have stuff to do but in the winter here its hard to get out and do much. I play in football and basketball leagues spring-summer-fall but in the winter time it is hard to be active. I am single and would use the social drinking part of my life to meet women and just as my way of spending free time. I think thats the hard thing for me, literally all my friends spend their free time drinking. These are people I have been friends with since I was in grammer school. I am 32 now.

      I think I'll pick up some books and catch up on some DVD's but am looking for some out of the house sort of stuff to do. I cant wait to do more with my son but he just turned 1 today so there aren't a lot of options right now.
      Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.?

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        #4
        New and looking for some advice

        Ah, now here's the challenge.

        Let's get to the core: How can you use Non-Drinking to get the women.

        Work it out, (morning) coffee dates, museums, jogging along the river. (I was going to say shows, but I just paid $300 for two seats to Wicked six months from now and that's ridiculous!)

        Take your smarts and refocus it in a new direction. Think about it.

        When you do it right, the right person will join you on your journey. I'm confident of that fact. I married for the first time at age 44, and this one is a lifetime.

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          #5
          New and looking for some advice

          Hi Jimmy. Welcome to this forum.

          It sounds like you are on the right track. Well done for taking the decision to take a brake from drinking. It sounds like you are convinced that you do not really have a problem but are worried. My advice to you: If your drinking is at a stage where you feel you can still control it --- QUIT!!!! You do not want to develop this into a full blown addiction. Believe me. You'll be an addict for life. I can remember being pretty much at the stage where you are at now and I did not listen to the warning sides. a couple of months a couple of years later When I did start worrying about my drinking I did not manage to get off it. ONly since December and with the help of this community have I been able to stay sober.

          Very, very well done for taking the decision not to drink for 2009. If you have made the year you will realize there is life beyond drinking and might just as well consider not starting again. What is it worth in anycase?!!!! Good luck.
          AF since 15th March 2010

          The journey is the goal. As long as you're fighting the good fight and you're not giving up on giving up, you're winning. It's not about how often you get knocked down, it's about how often you get up again. Sobriety the goal for sure. But striving to get to that goal is what it's about. Not getting there. Because the journey never ends. The journey is the goal.

          Comment

            #6
            New and looking for some advice

            Thanks Johnny, I started drinking at 16 so half my life I've been drinking regularly and just felt like it was time for a break. I have always stopped for stretches for feeling run down but never made a decision that I just wasnt going to drink. The thing with me is I won't sit there and guzzle a ton of booze or some crappy beer just to get hammered. It's more of a social thing and the other reason is I love trying different beers. I'm not your typical light beer drunk. I am the person who goes into a "beer bar" and tries 10 different beers because I love the different flavors. Anyway, I feel good and I don't feel the need to drink. The only obstacle I see is my sisters wedding in April
            Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.?

            Comment

              #7
              New and looking for some advice

              Jimmy Mack--keep busy

              Hey, aside from the fact your name is my fave Motown song...what to do with your time?
              Get WiiFit, is so rocks! Also--volunteer work--homeless shelters, shelter for abused women and kids, tutoring , mentoring, go-to-person for gay kids (1/3 of teen suicides) , food banks..... the trick is..KEEP BUSYand that is easy because there is a huge need out ther.

              PS--I know lots of people who met that special someone doing volunteer work

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                #8
                New and looking for some advice

                Jimmy Mack--one more thing

                Go dancing. I know for sure that Philly has one of the greatest bands ever. Check out SPLIT DECISION on the web...

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                  #9
                  New and looking for some advice

                  I've heard that song too many times. I have been doing a lot of sitting around. As for Wii fit, I workout during my lunch hour. I thought about volunteering but I have my son one full day each weekend and go to see him 2 nights a week. It's tough to find extra time for something like that. I guess I'm just bored with my free time between getting home from work and bedtime.

                  Dancing? no way I have no interest. I've seen Split Decision they are good.
                  Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    New and looking for some advice

                    New to this

                    Hi. I've made a decision to do something about my drinking. I'm ashamed to say I drink at least a bottle of wine everyday, sometimes more. I kid myself into thinking I'm not an alcoholic because I don't drink before 5 pm, but every night I go to bed drunk and I can't remember what I did the night before. I've had enough and I want to do something about it. I found this site by chance and it looks really good. I'm keen to read the My Way Out book. I tried to download the pdf version but it wouldn't work. Does anyone know how I can get it.

                    Thanks
                    Meeka

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                      #11
                      New and looking for some advice

                      Hey Meeka. Im sure someone will be able to help. I decided to just do this on my own and without the help of a book. I'm just looking for some other people who are also going through this to chat with and maybe spend some time with in a non-drinking atmosphere. I would like to find something local but would never do something like AA because I'm athiest.

                      I wish you the best of luck
                      Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.?

                      Comment

                        #12
                        New and looking for some advice

                        I'm afraid I really have no advice or words of wisdom, but I did want to welcome you to this site. You sound like you are determined to remain AF and have a great attitude. I hope that you stick close by, read, post and chat with the many supportive people on this site. It will help in your journey!!

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