Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

[Sweaty Betty]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

Hi, I've just done 5 AF days, which was miraculous for me. I decided I wanted to moderate, so had 2 glasses (small glasses) of wine on Friday, and 3 on Saturday. I felt comfortable having them,and in control. I have a BBQ to go to today, but I've decided it's going to be an AF day so will take along juice and sparkling water. I really think its a personal choice, and we might make mistakes along the way, but at least we're stepping out and taking control. B.

[Accountable for Me]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

I think it is possible to moderate for some.

I also think that for binge/heavy drinkers it really isn't an option.

If it is affecting your life in any way, then AF is a good route to go.

Both are very hard. They both take a lot of effort.

You will know eventually what you should do. If you try moderating and start back to where you are then go AF. It really is trial and error.

I wish you the best in your decision.

[5thaday]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

Keg,

One way to determine if moderation is for you is if you decide to moderate and find yourself obsessing about when you get to have your 'couple daily drinks' around the clock. Many people here will disagree with me, but to my mind moderation should be an effortless endeavour. There should be no mental obsession with alcohol, and no major struggle to stop drinking after a couple of drinks. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen for a great many of us here. That's why I chose abstinence. My moderation attempts, if I was lucky, would last a week, with 24/7 obsessing about when I would get to take my next drink. The pain of moderation was greater than both getting wasted regularly and abstinence, so since getting wasted was not a viable option any longer, I chose abstinence.

There is another thing to consider, however. Many of us here use the generally accepted medical guidelines of safe drinking to define 'moderate drinking'. As a result, it's not surprising that it is so difficult to stop drinking after a couple of drinks. To put things in perspective, there have been times when I've cut down my drinking to a couple of bottles of wine per week. This didn't last, but had I been able to stick to it, this would have been acceptable moderate drinking to me. So my point is that even if you are drinking more than is medically recommended, if it is a significant reduction in alcohol consumption for you, and it doesn't lead to any occupational, health, or problems at home, don't feel bad about drinking that much. In the end, only you can decide, but bear in mind that safe drinking guidelines are often unrealistic, devised by individuals who have never picked up a bottle in their lives.

[upnorthgirl]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

my vote

When I find myself obsessing about a drink the way I used to think about sex--well, I just know Moderation is not going to work for me!:H

[savon19]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

Hi Keg - I think you kind of answered your own question when you said, "but I usually can't stop there!" It's playing with fire. You may be able to do it a few times, then "something" will click & you'll continue drinking.

I would Love to Mod... (I refuse to think I'll Never drink!! Too drastic!) BUT, if I ever can mod, I will have to be AF for a long time. How long? I don't know! I've only been AF 7 days - but I kept going to day 3 or 4, then caving. "Just one!" Lol!! Yeh, right.

Someone said once that it's really harder to mod than go AF. Because with AF, you don't make any decisions ... you just don't drink. With Mod... you have to think: How much exactly can I drink? When do I drink? Do I drink some every day? Do I only drink some on weekend? Etc. etc.

I had to see that if I have AL in house... I drink it! I may have good intentions at first, but eventually, I stop paying attention to how much I was drinking. Or if I was feeling down or something, too easy to reach for the booze.

I really would suggest you try going AF for a while (you decide how long!)... just to prove to yourself that you can. It Does give you a sense of accomplishment, by the way.

Now I give all this good advice, but I have fallen many times (on my nose the last time - lol! Lucky I didn't break it!!!)...

Good luck whatever you decide.

[j-vo]

Somebody help m,e choose moderation or AF!!!

I don't think I would have been satisfied if I hadn't tried modding. Having tried several times and failed, I don't have a choice anymore. I wanted moderation soooooooooo much - wanted to believe that I didn't have a problem with al. I have surrendered to AL!!!!! And I'll make that decision everyday, because I don't feel as though my life is what it could be. I'm only a small fraction of the person I can be. I'm ready to be whole. Before I started drinking, I was too young to realize this - low self-esteem, so much other shi$. So weigh your options. Look at your mental well-being as well as your physical. For the years I've poured al down my throat, it's had a cumulative bad effect on me both mentally and physically. I'm brand new again on the AL free wagon, and my wagon's not going to break down this time.

j-vo