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    #1

    Why am I doing this?

    Hi again, this is a strange one......I am in Day 4 AF now which is great and I feel fine, slightly obsessed by what I am doing but other than that pretty OK. Going Cold Turkey at the moment as my pack hasn't got here yet so no sups or CD.

    However, what is bugging me is.....why am I doing this? You see, apart from feeling a bit groggy some mornings - certainly not hungover, just tired and a bit foggy for 30 mins or so - alcohol wasn't overly affecting my life......just knowing that a bottle of wine a night is really bad for you on a continual basis is why I decided to do something about it and the fact that I didn't want it to escalate into "real" alcoholism further down the line because it does run in my family.

    My marriage is not affected, my child is not affected, my sport and fitness are great, my weight is not affected, my work is fine. I am a high achiever and juggle motherhood, "wifehood", DIY, running my own business, exercise and anything else that comes my way, then at the end of each completely packed day, I reward myself with a bottle of wine which I enjoy and it helps me relax. It is my one and only vice, I live a really healthy life, don't smoke (7 yrs quit), exercise, drink water all day, eat really healthily...what more can I say.

    So why am I here!

    Or is this what your mind does to you to justify having a drink? :nutso:
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    #2
    Why am I doing this?

    You would never have come here in the first place if you thought that everything in your life was GREAT. I could tell myself the exact same thing as you. In fact most weeks I did. Monday was usually hungover, Tuesday morning felt great. By Thursday I had convinved myself that I did't do anything wrong. I just enjoyed a relaxing drink with my husband at the weekends, my kids were happy, my fitness was also pretty good my most peoples standards.

    The road to full AL dependency is a long slippery road, afterall no-one becomes a alcoholic overnight. It is a matter of drinking getting out of control, until it has taken over your life. Maybe you could try to Moderate in the future, now that I am not drinking my husband is moderating perfectly.

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      #3
      Why am I doing this?

      That's the way i started a six pack a night or a bottle of wine.

      Let's be honest that's not normal drinking and if it's every night it's not social.

      I went well for a while doing the above but at some point I crossed the line and started drinking more.

      Sounds like you've not progressed too far yet and you may not but it may - so why take the risk.

      Try having at least 2 AF days a week and see how long you can do it and how you feel - if you struggle to do it you know you have a problem if not at least you're giving your body a bit of a break during the week.

      Good luck in whatever you decide.

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        #4
        Why am I doing this?

        At some point only you will figure out your own answers. Stay close... you have friends here.... we've been thru it all...
        you will open up when you want... and how you chose.. nothing you have to say will surprise anyone...
        Sunny Out Looks are Contagious!

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          #5
          Why am I doing this?

          i was like you in the sense by wednesday i had usually talked myself out of soberity. i really like the rational recovery guy and the way he talks about it actually being the beast that is thinking the "why" thoughts you are having. i have now been AF for 15 days going on 16 today and let me tell you he is having a fit. i have been rationalizing so many thoughts of drinking and going through that...its just not fair stage especially since my friends aren't being all that supportive and honestly don't seem to give a shit. but i can't care about that or them. i have to know this is for me and the happiness of my family. sorry to rant.
          I must suppress the beast within so I can find my way out of the darkness.
          sober since 2/4/12

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            #6
            Why am I doing this?

            I understand where you are coming from. I am on day 11, and frequently ask myself why I am doing this. Some days I don't feel all that much better than I did when I was drinking. My mind starts trying to tell me that it is just not worth it. I am just hoping that by day 30 I will feel differently so that I might decide that it is worth it to continue. Positives are: no guilt, no hangovers. Negatives are: still crave a lot in the evenings and still feel "MAD" that I can't have a drink if I want. I hope the list of positives grows more so that by day 30 and feel inspired to continue.

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              #7
              Why am I doing this?

              Hi Aussie: You described my situation EXACTLY. I've been killing a bottle of wine nightly for a couple of years and then I found out my blood sugar was elevated, so I decided to stop for a month and have it rechecked. I had 12 AF days and then I thought, "Oh, why not relax and have 2 glasses of wine tonight". I couldn't stop at two. I guess I could have if I'd tried, but my resistance was weakened, so I finished the bottle, watched movie (which I don't remember) and went to bed. I woke up with the most terrible hangover I've ever had. My head hurt, I had acid reflux and I was miserable the whole day. That really got my attention because I rarely had hangovers. Obviously, one whole bottle has a terrible effect on the body when it's not used to that daily consumption. I'm resolved more than ever now not to drink.

              I like remembering what I watched on TV, I like my waistline shrinking, and I like the fact that my boyfriend thought I was the most beautiful he'd ever seen me last week. I also am proud that I'm running this show.

              Hang in there, it's worth it!

              Comment

                #8
                Why am I doing this?

                Hi everyone - thank you for all your ideas/thoughts etc, I guess I know the answer anyway and I do look and feel better it's just my brain trying to get me to have a drink. You are so right - I wouldn't be here if I hadn't felt I needed help and Google'd trying to find some.

                Just starting Day 5 AF, went to a BBQ last night with my bottle of slimline tonic and lime juice! Though I'd be questioned as to "why no wine" but there were only 4 of us there and the other couple are not big drinkers and I just passed it off as a post Christmas detox. Nothing more was even said. Then I drove home!!!! That's a first!

                Still not sure how long I shall be AF then try to moderate but a few more days wont do any harm - I'd be really chuffed if I did the recommended 30.

                AC x x x

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                  #9
                  Why am I doing this?

                  Hi AussieChick and everyone else !!!!., I have just started out this week and am also from Aus. and am so rapt to have found other Aussie's here as well as other people in EXACTLY the same psition as me. Aussie Chick that could be me writing what you just wrote yesterday. I live exactly the same and reward myself with a bottle of wine a night and have been doing so now slowly creeping up for the last few years and it does become your norm, like that is a normal way of drinking, but we both know that it's not. I am not trying to go AF I am going for modceration. A couple of nights AF and moderation at social events and on other week nights, but really throwing out "the rules" and already after 1 week I have found you don't need "the rules". I have been doing the lot. The cd's, topa, sups and IT IS AMAZING. What has happened is when I went out last night number 1. I didn't drink before I went. No. 2. i Wasn't looking for a glass of wine as soon as I got there and No 3 I only had 3 glasses of wine all night and took a sip from an offered glass of champagne and put it down. I did not feel as if I was going without which is how I have felt previously when I had set rules for myself. I think the cd's are the key for me. I focus on telling myself to sip wine not guzzle, put the glass down, don';t carry it around, don't think about it, have a glass of water between glasses of wine. As somebody else mentioned Alcohol creeps up on you, you may think you are ok but it is a progressive disease and I feel like I have got my life back. Good Luck

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                    #10
                    Why am I doing this?

                    Hey Summerrose, nice to hear your feedback, it feels OK to know there are others so like us out there doesn't it. I hope it goes really well for you too. I can't wait to get my supps, cd etc and hope they arrive early this week, I think I'll need a kick in the right direction pretty soon. Not doing Topa though, a) don't fancy it and b) wont talk to my Doc about this - too embarrassed and don't want to get labelled on my medical records.

                    Like you I am trying not to make many rules / goals as I am not good at failure. One day at a time at the moment and I am on Day 5 now. I look forward to moderating but feel the need for all the MWO stuff before I dare try, plus a few days/weeks under my belt AF too.

                    I do feel good though physically and am getting a real kick out of this so far. I feel positive and I am sure my head is clearer and, not that I have had any comments, but I think I look fresher too.

                    Look forward to hearing your progress.
                    AC x x

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Why am I doing this?

                      I think the first thing that came to mind is that you have Averted possible disaster!

                      You won't get a DUI, just to name one thing. And that can happen to anyone... In my state (FL), .01 is considered "impaired" enough to be arrested. Which is hardly Anything to drink...

                      Also, that you recognize that it runs in your family and you're doing something Before you head into alcoholism is INTELLIGENT. I so wish I had been! My brother warned me a Long time ago about how several people in our family are/were alcoholics and that I was heading in that direction - but did I Listen?? OH nooooo, I thought I would somehow be the exception to the rule. I was Invinceable!! (LOL)

                      You're like the Wise one who learns from OTHER's mistakes!

                      I try very hard not to dwell on how my life would have been different had I never drank at all. I probably would have had a family, for one thing!

                      I Envy you that you seem to have learned before there's a severe problem.
                      Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                        #12
                        Why am I doing this?

                        Hi Aussiechick

                        Glad to see that you are feeling happy and positive. So am I. I really couldn't remember how good being sober felt. I am doing more, feeling better, loving not having to hide my drinking from people. I am on day 14 and I really hope that I can keep this going, so far I am loving this summer. I come from a long line of boozer and my greatest fear is when I look at my son, 4. He seems to glamourise drinking beer as a man's thing.

                        Savon - .01 is nothing. In Australia it is .05.

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                          #13
                          Why am I doing this?

                          Hey EZZ - 14 days is Fantastic!! Congrats!

                          .05 isn't that much, either. Especially for "seasoned" drinkers!!
                          Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                            #14
                            Why am I doing this?

                            Aussie Chick, I could have written your post a few years ago. Thing is, tolerance does increase. Having a history of alcoholism in your family doesn't help either.

                            Read the book and give yourself a chance.

                            Had I stopped earlier, I would not be struggling with osteoporosis as I am today. The health problems related to alcohol are at first, discreet and silent.

                            Wow, you guys really slammed us in thee cricket today

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Why am I doing this?

                              Morning Aussie Chick, Sorry It took a while to respond am still working out this site, thanks for the reply only just found it. I was too embarrassed to go to the doctor as well so am doing Topa solo only 50mg as this seems to be enough to curb my cravings with the cds, sups to back it up. I also hate to fail. Did I mention that I also live in Australia?. Good Luck I feel Awesome. And I often find myself smiling during the day like I have discovered this amazing secret that no-one else knows ( which of course no-one in my world does as I haven't told them). xxx

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