Standard Drinks

[Muppett]

Hello,
I am sooooo scared about reducing my drinking. Don't know how to live my nights sober? What will I do if I'm not drinking? How will I sleep?
Last night I had 17 standard drinks. Tonight 8 (so far).
I think I might just be a "wreck of a woman".

[Muppett]

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AND..............

Apart from better health, what's in it for me? To be sober?

[ezzmae]

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Gaining back control of your life. I would guess that if AL was such an issue for you you wouldn't be here in the first place.

I am on day 13 so far. So far - no hangovers, no guilt over my children, no bloated face, smaller belly, more energy with I exercise, being able to run longer, clearer skin, losing weight despite stuffing my face with chocolate. When I got to day 7 I felt a complete buzz.

Will I relapse? Probably, but I will get AF straight away again.

[Muppett]

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But my life doesn't SEEM out of control. I hold down a good job, cook, clean. I'm generally responsible.

[ezzmae]

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Then why are you here? How many more have you had now? I would suggest you come back when you really want help.

[Evie.Lou]

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For me, getting sober helped me remember who I am. Alcohol made me think that i was someone that I wasn't. The longer I am sober the better i feel about my purpose for being on this planet, and the more I truly LOVE myself...that is the best gift that sobriety has given me and it is sooo worth fighting for.

[Muppett]

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raaaaarw. Why are you grumpy?
I DO know I have to do something. I know my health will suffer in the long term, but ..........
Are you AF?

[lil.michelle]

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What's in it for you.... Being in control, not having something control you. Waking up feeling good, learning to function without drink, energy.. lots of energy, loss of weight, the ability to do things whenever you want...
I'm a little worried. If you don't want to quit... why are you here? I don't mean that in a nasty way at all. I'm just wondering what you really want... do you even know? what made you feel you want to stop drinking?

[Muppett]

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No.....I don't know what I want and that's the guts of it really.
My pyscologist says my drinking is risky. I KNOW it is.
I'm a messed up, f%(ked human at the moment. I feel like I'm staring up a mountain the day I forgot my crampons. I'm at the bottom of the mountain thinking.....do I even want to do this?
Guess I am looking for some insperation.

My choices right now are:
Become sober
Jump...die....slash......

I'm actually not feeling that desperate at the moment. Just wanting some positive reinforcement. Some intellectual ideas on why sober is better than pissed. Need some clarity (please). Am up to 10 now and will go to 12 before bed. Better than last night though.

[gabby1go]

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An interesting question. It depends on who you talkl to.

First let me ask, what is "standard"? 6-oz., 8-oz.? What exactly are you drinking? 12 - 17 drinks a night is a lot.

Generally how are you feeling physically? If you came here because you are scared about reducing your drinking you obviously think that you should. Why? (Apart from your health). Are you worried about w/d, sleeplessness, irritability, and all of the other b.s. that goes along with being AF or are you concerned about not being able to drink?

Gabby.

[vertigo]

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Muppet,

I don't think you need to come on here and get griped out, just because you have some questions. You probably don't know what the correct answer is for you right now, but you're obviously feeling like you need to do something or you would not be asking. In my opinion, 17 drinks, however large or small, seem a bit accessive, but you said you can still work, clean, etc. Could it be possible that you could do even more, and have a much more fuller life without those 17 drinks? Maybe you should try to find out. Try going AF for a while and see if even a few days feels any better - my guess is that it might be quite new for you at first, but given time, and a plan, you might see some advantages to that.
I do think, though, that if you truly want to do this, you're going to have to be willing to give 100% and decide that it's the right thing for you. We can give you support, but you are going to have to be the one that truly wants to do it, for your own reasons.
Good luck!

[upnorthgirl]

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Muppet--take care!

I can give you a hundred reasons right off the bat to STOP drinking.
Do you know when and why you started drinking in excess..you say you are messed up, and is alcohol part of the reason why?
Drinking so much and being able to work the next day means you are a functioning alcoholic--I know this because I AM this.

Each day I go to work with a hangover, I do not do my best--and in this economy that is a dangerous thing!

Each night I drink, I miss out on so very much--the company of a great husband and children, to start. Even if we do things together, I do NOT remember it.

You already know have physically devastating alcohol is, especially is you drink that much as you say. Brain function, liver function, wasted calories, and the fact that you could hurt yourself--again, I know this because I am this--can't tell you how many times I stumble and fall--I could end up killing myself.

The funny thing is, I started drinking only a few years agao--not quite five. It did not take long to be a full-blown alcoholic. This morning I was trying to calculate how much MONEY has been spend on booze--bottles or in a bar. Let's just say--and I am sure this is a conservative number--$50 per week x 52 weeks =$2600 a year. That's nearly $13,000 !!

YIKES! :durn: If for no other reason--why spend that on drinking to excess, not remembering it, feeling sick, alienating family and friends, feeling depressed (alcohol is a depressant) . I wish I had that money back--and that time, and my self-esteem.

Trust me--I have messed up A LOT but I keep trying and I have lots of reasons to try--SO DO YOU. That is why you are here and seeing a psychologist.

WE ARE HERE FOR EACH OTHER. PLEASE TRY! It is not easy, but if you want your life back, it is worth it.

[stepintime]

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Upnorthgirl,

Great post, and great timing too. Day 2 for me, and I have finally settled down, with a huge mug of herbal tea, after pacing the floor, driving myself to distraction, whether to but wine or not. Your post sealed it.

Thanks

[Peanut]

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Hey Muppet - yes, your confusion about drinking or not drinking is very apparent. But, obviously you must know there is a problem, or else you wouldn't be here. On the one hand, you say you don't feel like you are out of control, but on the other hand you are a "wreck of a woman". So, which is it?!?!? If the alternative to getting sober is "jump... die...slash", then maybe things ARE out of control???

I know that I have always functioned well, work full time, raised children, cook, clean and do quite well - my life is not a wreck and I always used to say I don't get hangovers from the litre of wine every night. But, when I first went AF, and then the first time I drank after that - I realized that I had been having a hangover every day, but just didn't realize it because that is just how I felt every day. Until you know how it feel to NOT drink daily, you won't know what it is to feel clear headed and physically well.

Give it a go, just for a while and then re-assess. If you don't notice any difference and feel better drinking that much every day, then carry on! Nobody will ever force you to do something you don't want to do, right????

Keep posting and let us know how you are feeling!
xoxo peanut

[CS04]

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Step, I am on day 2 as well, and I think you and I were in about the same boat about a week ago. I am finally getting down the C-mas tree, and by this time in the afternoon when we were decorating it, I was already drinking (I rarely drink during the day). I don't want any right now.

Let's hang in there! I know I would probably want some red wine tonight, but there is none in the house (except expensive stuff), we have almost a foot of snow on the ground, and I am not going back out.