Newbies Nest

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hey Willow,

Thanks for sharing your story...and no, not sorry I asked. We all learn from each other and knowing your situation is helpful for the rest of us to offer support and relate to you! Take a deep breath and RELAX...you are in the right place and the universe brought you here...you are very lucky that you listened! I know about anxiety (prone to AL related panick attacks myself), so I feel for you. It's wonderful that you have such a supportive husband and one who doesn't drink. I love my husband more than anything, but he does drink and I do not. I don't think he has the problem that I had but now that I know all the bad health effects of AL in general, I'm hoping that he will drink less now that I am not drinking at all. It's wonderful to know that on here, everyone understands...we have all been there. Congrats on 4 days without AL! That is wonderful. Have you made a plan for yourself? That is key. You will get some good ideas on the toolbox thread in the Moderation forum. I don't have the link but will go back and find it. Spend lots of time on MWO reading and posting if you can. It helps me stay sober tremendously, I couldn't do it without a little help from my friends on here. Lots of help, actually. Welcome onboard and I looking forward to getting to know you!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Toolbox for Willow

Here is the toolbox thread, hope this link works. Check it out! You'll find lots of good ideas and support for making your plan:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Good luck!:goodjob::welcome:

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hi Willow. I'm glad you're here - I'm so very impressed by all the new folks with young children. Keep at it, you are doing an amazing thing by tackling this while your children are still young. There are so many of us who are regretful that we spent so many years of our kids' lives in a fog...

You are at a crucial stage right now as Windy pointed out. You'll hit a milestone at day 7 and then onto your second week. We all say it and it really is true. It gets easier and easier. I am one who drank daily - and sometimes all day and night long...and I'm on day 46 I think (Oh congrats Windy on day 45!) If I can do it, so can you...:l

There are all kinds of stories here and you will identify with some for sure. I am here to tell you that the initial difficulty and ill feelings and riding out the cravings are soooo worth it. I feel like a different person.

I will let Lav give her "do you have a plan - have you visited the toolbox" talk...:-) Then byrdie will pipe up with some encouraging and energetic tough love! LOL!

-lola

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

oh and windy, I do hope you soon get to the bottom of the health issues with your daughter....it's so hard when our kids are going through things...:l

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Hello All
My first day to post and my first day to go AF... I have been around the nest for about a week, reading and thinking but actually to afraid to jump in cause I might spill my wine.. But this morning I told myself if I don't commit and don't post then my wine and I would always just be sitting on the sidelines, and wine is not always the best company. Tonight at around 5 my challenge will begin

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

BlondeAFAmbition;1206353 wrote: Here is the toolbox thread, hope this link works. Check it out! You'll find lots of good ideas and support for making your plan:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Good luck!:goodjob::welcome:

Thank you so much. Some of it I'd already figured out, like doing exercise instead of drinking, and not thinking of it as a 'reward'. I know it's basically re-training my brain (can you tell I've had CBT for depression and anxiety before?!) but it seems so hard right now.

We have no family here and my husband works long hours, so I think a lot of it is boredom and an emotional crutch. Especially as my grandad and aunt both died within days of each other a few weeks ago. That's been hard - I've never really lost anyone before, then two people at once. I went home for grandad's funeral (never been to one) but couldn't go back again for my aunt's due to my daughter being at school and I didn't want her to miss any more time.

As I say, my husband is lovely - usually - but he doesnt like it when I drink, because he cant trust me to be responsible about it. My own fault, I hold my hands up. So when I drink, it always ends in an argument, or him just plain not speaking to me. I feel that's unfair because I'm not a nasty/violent drunk - although very occasionally, it will end with a panic attack or me being sick, so then he has to look after me. It makes me want to drink more to blot it out or make me feel better - and on the circle goes. He will listen to me on my sober days and want to help, but by his own admission, he just can't understand it.

I'm a stay at home since January, and I think I'm still getting my head around being at home all the time. Possibly why I like going to buy wine from the corner shop, because I get the chance to see a friendly face. I need to break the cycle, I know that, but I'm also scared of failing. Deep down, I don't think I really want to quit - I'd be quite happy just carrying on as is, but for my husband's and children's sake, I know I have to, to make their lives better. And I can't say I'll just have one glass and control it, because I know I can't.

Thanks everyone for being so welcoming. Please bear with me, I'm sure I'll be whinging a lot. I hope I get the chance to support you all too.

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Herbie - I'm new too. This looks like a great place to be! All the best for tonight, will be thinking of you.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!!!

Hello & welcome to Willow & Herbie!
Glad you found the nest, it's a safe place to settle into for a while

Have you read the MWO book yet? It's a good place to get started. Go to the health store on the site here & just download it!
If you really want to succeed you will take the time to sit down & write out good plans for yourselves. Wishing & hoping won't get you to your goals but a strong commitment & a solid plan will! Use the tools in the tool box, they're all tried & proven!

Windy, sure hope your daughter is ok & dealing with nothing more than maybe some anemia or typical student low blood sugar issues (they often forget to eat regularly).

Hi to lolab, Blondie & everyone checking in today!

Blondie, my biz is quite small but that's the way I like it - it's just me, a couple of computers & a couple of embroidery machines. I used to have some family help but not any more
My customers are both local & internet. I have an online listing, used to have a small website (but that's in limbo now - long story). I do everything myself - soup to nuts :H Therefore I do need to keep things manageable. This is a fun thing for me after 29 years of dragging myself to the hospital day in & day out

Speaking of work - it's now or never!
Wishing everyone a terrific AF Thursday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Hey Nesters, old and new! Hubs update (he had radiation seeds for prostate cancer 3 weeks ago). He is doing great. Still sleeping downstairs as to not radiate me and the dog..but in another week will rejoin us. He has control of his bladder and all that, but when he has the urge to go...a bathroom best be close! He is doing just great, thank you all for asking.
BlondAmb, go to your dinner party and enjoy yourself! You can't hide forever...there will be an awkward moment in the first little bit when opening drinks are poured, but after that you will be fine. It's just one little rough edge you gotta get over..and then it's smooth sailing (with a nod to Capt Greg). Here's what you will find...after their 3rd glass of wine over the course of the evening, just what a change there is over people. They slump down and look at you thru the top of their eyes. Speech slurs and they get louder. They don't notice you aren't drinking...they don't care. Did you, when you were? I know I didn't...just what I was getting was all I cared about. As long as I got it I was happy. At the last dinner party I went to, the smashed hostess asked if I would help her with a wine tasting! Can you imagine??? I told her I'd think about it, I'd love to do the food, but would not be participating in the tasting. I have ulcerative colitis..and I use this to my advantage in these cases...saying that AL is like drinking battery acid to my insides...this hushes people up in a hurry, without all the explanations that are none of their business. So you go have your lovely dinner, and enjoy yourself!!! Make it CLEAR you will not be drinking as a moment of hesitation in your voice gives rise to 'oh just one won't hurt you!' ONE is the last thing I need, ya know?? I don't want one, I want 12! So yes, just one WILL hurt me!! You can't stop living just because you don't drink anymore...you will find that you have just begun!! Plus you can eat more!!
There is just something about MAGIC DAY #13! Hang in there everyone, and you will see what I mean...your thinking changes somehow and it gets easier and easier and not a struggle at all!! There's HOPE! Don't give way to those cravings...Don't give in no matter what. Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Willow, deep down, I really didn't want to quit either. It wasn't until I hit the bottom of my rabbit hole that I realized I had no other choice. What a shame it took all that to make me quit. What a powerful addiction AL is....that I was willing to give up my wonderful life, health, and husband for a dam drink. It is sad. I am vigilant...I am never going to be out of these waters. As long as I don't drink, I am safe. But to say I didn't really want to give it up is the understatement of the year! I went down kicking and screaming!! If you really think about it, you just have to get thru a couple hours of the day...and then you are home free with another notch in your belt (drinking joke). You can do it. It is soooo worth it. Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

While I'm on a roll (bread joke)...
This will be my first holiday sober too, so we will all be in the same boat together. We can do it! B

[mightymite]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nesters. Welcome Willow and Herbie. Hang around a bit and get to know the wonderful people on this site. They have helped more than I can put words to.
Willow, I wanted to tell you that my hubby is the exact same way. He has pretty much stopped drinking because he is afraid it will trigger the drink in me and I will start again. He hates, hates, hates it when I drink. Like you, I usually end up sick and he has to take care of me. He says he worries so much about how it is hurting me. So, thank goodness he is around all of the time because I would probably cave in and start again. But I hate to let him down and worry him. I know I should be doing this for myself but I will take any excuse to quit. I am now on day 19 and getting closer to that ever magic number of 30. I am proud of myself but it does get bumpy from time to time. Willow and Herbie, be sure to come on here when you are feeling down or start craving. I have been talked off the ledge and it has saved me. Byrdie, I am so happy your hubby is doing well.
Well, off to clean the house.:upset:
Have a beautiful day everyone.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

wow, mightymite - 19 days? You are cruising right along!

Byrdie, you are cracking me up with this bread talk. You'll have to let me know about the healthy bread one and which are your faves. I have it on my wish list for Christmas. As far as the Artisan - try the pain d' epi I think it's called. it's such a fabulous presentation - would be great for the holidays....as you end up with what looks like a stalk of wheat and you just break off little pieces and everyone gets loads of the yummy crusty outside. I've also done a rosemary focaccia that's in there - and I've made the regular bread into rolls. It also makes FANTASTIC pizza dough. So, there ya go...have a boule with all those bread terms....sorry - I'm def not as witty as you!:H

belt.....:H sorry, yes I'm blonde - I just got it!

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. Well, I took to the kids to the park after school and got out in the fresh air. I passed the shop both times and was ok about it - at least, I didn't go in for wine and I was so scared earlier that I would cave.

Tonight I am just cooking pizza for dinner, with salad. Cooking is one of my triggers, so the less time I spend in there for the next couple of days, the better I guess. Still got to eat though! Then I am going to bath the kids and have a bath myself, get ready for bed. My husband is probably going to whinge that he's not seeing me very much at the minute, but tough. If he wants me to stop, he has to suck it up for a bit.

I guess it is one day at a time. Tomorrow is going to be the humdinger, I'm looking after my friend's two children for the day as well as my own. My daughter and her eldest will be at school most of the day, but before and after, I'll have 4 children! I will so want to drink after they've gone home, so I need to watch for that.

Take care everyone :l

[mightymite]

Newbies Nest

Thank you lolab. It means so much to me. I believe you, Byrdie and lav were the ones that talked me off that ledge and kicked my arse into action. You all were so right about getting over that hump. It is soooooo true. I am feeling less and less like having a drink. You all are so smart. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And Brydie, you are so right about just getting through those couple of hours. I think so many of us have that witching hour. Mine was from 3-5, Thur-Sun. Once I got through those hours af, I was fine. I also believe it becomes a pattern and habit. Break that habit, replace it with something else and you can get through. I am trying to walk it all away and hopefully 10lbs too. Early nesters, listen to these wise people. They know what they are talking about. Well, had to take a lunch break from cleaning. Felt that low blood sugar comin' on and that needs taking care of pronto.