Newbies Nest

[Julz76]

Newbies Nest

nest belts and butt velcro - I love it!!! I need to get me some of that - and maybe a chain and a padlock too!!!

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

End of my first day here AF... I worked outside most of the day and at the end it got suddenly very cold. Came in and jumped into the tub for a hot soak... glass of wine would have been nice ... but stuck to the tea.. I am taking the vitamins, I have order the MWO book, should be here in a day or so and I found the tool bar. I can not tell you all enough how happy I am that I stumbled onto this site, so much to read and learn and so much inspiration from all you .. thank you and see you all tomorrow. Hope you all sleep well

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Good day!

I joined MWO yesterday after reading for months. Whish I signed up the day I found it!

Today, 11-11-11 will be my 1st day AF and my goal is to reach 12-12-12 to re-evaluate my relationship with AL.
Reading about your AF days gives me a lot of hope!!

Go well.
SH

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Morning y'all!

Day 5 - this is probably the longest I've been without AL in a while. I'm tired, my daughter was up at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. Tiredness makes me more stressed, so then I drink to pick myself up. Later today is going to be really hard - but at least now I am doing something about these triggers. I am REALLY stroppy with my husband because I am missing my crutch. I have made my plan though and am journalling day by day how I feel and what I'm thinking, to remind me of why I'm doing this.

2 older kids gone off to school, so just two toddlers now until 3.15pm!

Welcome to the other new nesters too - this is a great site. I think it's awesome that we're all at different stages, so we can all encourage each other along and just keep giving each other a little more courage to keep going.

Have a great day x

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Welcome Steady hands. Well done on getting that plan done.I love your year action.
Willow23. I am Here all day so keep posting! I did the same stroppy behaviour withhubby last night i find it is a combination of missi g my crutch and being ravenously hungry. I had been out all day and did nit have dinner ready. Came home and sorted Baby out by them it was almost 8. I am starving and kept thinking of AL. He ordered Chinese but I wanted pizza. Of course not a whole to myself so I get more aggy and wants to drink. Then Baby wakes up and cries Andries u til she is sick :-( think she is teething. Anyway. Didn't get a drink in and managed to eat which helped remove my cravings.

Sorry for the typos onthe phone and knackered. So taking nap with Baby. Xx

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Awwwwww MinStar, you poor thing. Not fun having a sick baby, been there done that lol. Even worse when you're trying to make huge changes to your life.

I'm the opposite to you and not actually that hungry. Think it's the anxiety about giving up, makes me loose my appetite. Or rather, I'd happily eat junk like crisps, but that's no good for my gallbladder problems. Finding eating proper healthy meals a struggle and soooo sick of pints of water!

What did the doc say about your daughter? Where in the world are you? I'm in the UK and over here, you can buy teething powders. They are herbal and really help to calm them down/stop sickness and upset tummies from teething. Maybe you could try something like that?

Hope you manage a good nap and feel better. Stay strong x

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hi Willow23
Managed a nap so feel a gazillion times better.

We are also in the UK, South. I have heard of the teething herbs. I will have to look into them. I thought she ahd a cold!! She may still have as I cant see anything breaking through.

The consultant was really nice. She is finally discharged so no more trips in the pram into the City! I hate it!

Time to feed and then get her Lunch ready! How are you doing?

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,
hope all the nesters are keeping well. I've had a few crappy days and had a bad night last night. Another case of the poor me's i guess. But, ultimately it was good.
I had a good cry in bed last night with my very caring and empathic hubby on hand to listen. I admitted that moderating was not really feasible because of my experience in the past doing so. If I'm honest that makes me feel REALLY sad because then the (toxic) love affair is really over. My experience of going MOD is as follows; I can moderate successfully for a few months, then I drink a little more and then I'm out or at a dinner party and I forget I'm modding. What always happens then is I'll either have a ridiculous fight with my amazing hubby (we rarely argue in the sober light of day) or I'll do something to embarrass myself (like be in the bathroom vomiting or fall asleep with my head on my m-in-laws lap, that was particularly embarrassing!). Or, which usually happens, I'll have a great night and wake up with paralysing anxiety that will last for days and takes me to very dark places in my mind. So, as you can see my Modding is not very successful. I'm coming up on the end of week 4 so I know I'm doing really well but these are my danger times. I had admitted to my hubby that I really miss AL and how I feel like I'm grieving. Then the addict in me regrets telling him because then all my plans of MOD drinking are gone. He knows my problem is real and he'll remind me of that if I try to mod again. While he has never suggested I give up and because alcohol does not affect us as a couple often (the fights with him average about 1 a year), he hasn't felt the need to say it, but his concerns when I talk to him are the way it affects my mental health and the fact that I miss it so much when I am off it. Anyway, I DO have a big problem , I know it and I'm determined to silence the nasty AL voice, its so so horrible. I love that I can share my thoughts on AL and you guys understand. Thank you all, here is to another AF day! xxx

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

wow, wow wow!!! So many new people...I am really looking forward to meeting all of you and sharing this journey with you...:h welcome to the nest.

yep, it's quite a ride! Congratulations for the progress so far...it gets better and better...and don't just think that as good as you feel at 1 week, or 3 weeks or 6 weeks is as good as it's going to get - because it's not...if you still feel physically not right at 1 month AF, don't be surprised. I'm 7 weeks now and just felt some of the physical things lift this week! Aches and pains that I've felt all along are "hopefully" improving...I sure hope theydon't come back...I've learned that it takes each person varying amounts of time to recover from the years of damaging behavior that we have done to our bodies. This is an up and down ride of feeling good, feeling bad...feeling strong, feeling weak...wanting this, not wanting this...sleeping well, sleeping awful...as long as you realize that each "good" gets better than the last one - it definitely helps ride out the "bad"s...yeah, I know I'm as eloquent as hell....:H hopefully you get the picture.

janey I wonder if you're talking about finding things to do that don't seem kind of "prudish"...LOL? If you do then I know exactly what you mean. I'm not one to scrapbook, or sit and drink tea (well, sometimes I like it) but I have always seen myself as kind of a party girl. I think that's why it took me so long to figure out how to still be ME without alcohol. I've been the person who always has a glass of wine to offer a visitor...don't ask me out to lunch unless there's cocktails involved....and please - no sitting around with the girls drinking coffee....it's not me. Nothing against people who enjoy that type of thing! I WISH it interested me. But I AM doing this - wthout filling my time knitting or scrapbooking - please please don't be offended - I tried knitting and made a very odd shaped scarf - LOL...it's just not the way I view myself which is very unfortunate and something I'm working on....I am a creative person and would probably enjoy these activities if I got past some pre-conceived notion that I have of them...

it's also this vision I have of people who don't drink. I am working on this as well. I've met enough judgemental people who loudly proclaim that they don't drink when you first meet them and come across as if they feel better than others because of that. That may or not be the case...I'm realizing that some are proclaiming it because they've had an issue controlling it, and need everyone to be aware - but I do know others who just don't drink who are very self righteous about it. I really don't like someone trying to shove their beliefs about anything down my throat...

So I'm trying to work on not seeing everyone who doesn't drink - or who meets the girls for coffee - or who does crafts - as someone that I can't identify with. Like I am more "fun" than that - I like being the rebel a little...(funniest thing is I don't really fit in anywhere because I exclude myself from the coffee clatch crafters, and I dont come across as a rebel in the least.... )

sheesh, I don't know how I get off on these tangents...I was telling a friend (Hi Jolie) that each time I go off on these long posts, it's usually because I need to learn something about myself...and it works! So anyway, you don't have to do things that aren't "you" just because you give up alcohol...just take a long look at who you think "you" are. If you can see yourself in a little bit of a different light - maybe as the healthier version of you - you'll come up with some activities that the new you enjoys...

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I just want to pop in here to say a special "HELLO" to all the new Nesters. Can't wait to share some stories with you all. So many have small children, so this is the perfect time to get rid of AL forever. You will not regret it at all!! I promise. BUT.... I am here to tell you, you will regret it if you don't say goodbye to the Narley beast -- NOW. Time flys and those precious little ones will soon be old enough to judge you, one way or the other (Let it be the other). So Please keep up the good work and open yourselves up for the wonderful life that waits for you without AL. It is HARD and there are many ups and downs, just like Lola described, but it is worth it -- every step of the way. You will truly get to know who you are and meant to be, and I bet you will really like yourself (A LOT).

I hear so many of the newer Nesters who miss him already....What you will miss is the hangover, the foggy head, full of guilt and anxiety. What you will gain is a clear head full of confidence and determination; self respect and respect from you families. Maybe even clearer skin and a slimmer body.

LolaB -- Great, fantastic post....I too fancy myself the rebel and have always been that way. Life of the party and can surely hold my own almost anywhere. I have never felt like I truly fit in here in my new community in the Burbs.. Yeh...Join the PTA and become a Stetford wife. No Thanks.....I can not stand to listen to women talk on and on about kids and how great they all are. Everyone's kid is a prodigy here in "Keeping up with the Jones' Land". My eyes are in the back of my head rolling all over the place. But I am really excited about finding out what really makes me tick and honoring that. I am finally coming to terms with my difference and really like what I see (most of the time). I have so much more self awareness than before I got my head out of the fog. Well....I am rambling...... So...I can count you out on the coffee date???:H:H

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

windy, my first thought was "why can't I live near windy?? I can't seem to find anyone here that I truly fit in with here" and I've lived her for 17 years- LOL! But then I thought...well, if we lived near each other, we probably would have been drinking buddies...rebels together. :H and we probably would have been horrible enablers of each other. we may not have found "our way out"...

I hear you on the "my kids are so great"...drives me INSANE.. and the whole "we are soo busy - with all these activities - we don't have time for anything!" then Stop some of the activities....spend some time talking with your kids....there's a novel idea.

"I am really excited about finding out what really makes me tick and honoring that" I like that

so let's pretend...I'm just trying to learn more....maybe get some ideas. What would we do if we met up? Cetainly not go for drinks...lunch? I'm not too big into eating out....I would've done a book club in the past...if it involved wine...I KNOW!!! Cook! :H

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Okay -- You asked.. I have always wanted to start a dinner/cooking group..Where you might meet 4 times a year or even once a month, alternating houses and cooking, all from scratch, wonderful, ethnic meals. Each month the theme could change. Let's just say one night it would be French...So you have everyone chose or designate them to bring something french; table set in like fashion and so on. Next month .... maybe.... Vietnamese.

I've lived here for 8 years and just recently decided I am okay with just myself and the few friends I have. So many of my good friends have moved and my best friend in the entire world just moved this summer. The sad thing is I think there are a lot of lonely people here in their make-believe, perfect world. Nobody seems very happy.

Oh and book club...around here I don't think they ever read the book, but just drink mass quantities of wine and try to talk above each other. And then there is BUNCO....or is it DRUNCO.

From the way you describe your community, I bet we live in the same neighborhood. Now wouldn't that be weird.

One thing I have always loved doing with someone else is walking, hiking, or running -- anything that gets me out doors. Forget the lunches; I have alway viewed them as a colossal waist of time.

Oh dear....I have truly been on a rampage here....There are more of us the same than maybe we think... Let's just start a sober, happy, no bull shit club....but I might throw in watercolors.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

10 DAYS FOR ME TODAY-YEE HAW!!!!

Hi Gang!

Phew! I reached the 10 day mark and I am elated! For whatever reason, 10 days was the first big goal for me aside for Day #1! Have had a headache for the past day and feeling a bit tired prolly due to the detox. Looking forward to 30 days when the fog is really lifted as I read on here that it takes a solid month to really get the poison out of your system and your mind back to crystal clear thinking. Moving onwards to 30 days!

Lav-I emailed my friend that I can't attend Sat. night so new stove, here I come! I have an electric stove with the coil burners and I want one with the smooth surface top and burners...they seem so much easier to clean. My current stove only has 1 working burner right now and we are signed up to host Christmas dinner so I surely will need more burners working when I serve my annual shrimp boil for Christmas!:H

:welcome: All the Newbies who have flown into the Nest in the last day or 2!

Steady Hands, great to see you jumped in after reading for a while. I remember finding this site and lurking for a few weeks before I drafted my first letter and then joined in full force. So glad that I did and I'm sure you will too!:goodjob:

Herbie! Well done on taking a bath with tea instead of wine. I am a bubble bath girl and always loved having a glass of wine by my side when I took a soak. Only, I found that with the hot water and the wine, I was always dehydrated after the bath instead of refreshed. Now it's much better with a glass of sparkling water and makes me feel more hydrated. Tea works well too!

Jane-Welcome about also! Tell us more about yourself when you are ready. Pull up a twig in the Nest and stay awhile! :h

Lolab-I know where you are coming from with the hobbies, etc. I, too, also thought of myself as the ultimate party girl, especially in my late 20's, early 30's and then some. Always the one to offer guests a glass of wine and I could even be a "pusher" when I wanted to. Going out to lunch always involved a few glasses of wine. Never wanted to meet anyone for coffee...it was drinks instead. I even pre-ordered some cocktail napkins for my Christmas parties this year that have a picture of a sassy blonde girl in a party dress that says: I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas, But I wouldn't Say No To A Merlot or a Nice Cabernet. Well, I'll have to re-gift those to someone or just go ahead and use them up. Sadly, I bought those just a few months ago when I had gone back to my wicked ways. And, like you, part of the struggle with giving up AL was that it was part of my identity...part of who I was. I mean, they MADE those cocktail napkins for me! :H Now I take solace in the fact that although I'm not a knitter (wish I could...I would love to create some cute hats, scarves and sweaters!) and I'm not a quilter or really a "crafter" per say, I am finding some new hobbies which I really enjoy. I'm getting back into baking (HELLO BYRDIE!), and reading, and meeting new friends that are not heavy drinkers and who yes, meet for coffee instead of booze. And I'm loving that. I'm also getting into some crafts around my new found passion of decorating with seashells. I live by the ocean and have accumulated quite the stash of different shells and making collages and ornaments and decorations with them is instant gratification. I would have never had the time to create these beautiful pieces of art if I was still hitting the bottle.

Geez, sorry for the long post everyone. Gotta dash for work but have a great Friday and stay strong

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

PS, Windy, a cooking club is a great idea! I would so be in on that. I love to cook and try different ethnic dishes.

Hey, Maybe with Brydie and some of us bakers we could start an online baking club !

[Willow23]

Newbies Nest

Mrsg, Lola and Windy - thank you, good posts. This day is HARD! I feel really close to caving, but I don't want to let you guys down. It's nice to know I can keep popping on here. I keep thinking,"Meh, I can have a drink, I don't want to do this now" or, "Hey, I'll just start over Monday" but the thought of having to do all this over again ... Gah, I don't know. This is a real roller coaster ride, that's for sure.

I keep thinking about the kids and what everyone has said about taking this opportunity now before they're older and they realise what's going on/judge/ruins our relationship. That's something that's really proving hard for me to get my head around I guess, because I'm a good mum. Drinking hasnt affected my ability to parent (yet). It hasn't stopped me from taking my children out, or doing the school run. We're pretty active, I do a lot with them, they're clean and well fed, and we're really very close and loving. They seem perfectly fine, but I guess drinking is a slippery slope and before you know it, it's all screwed up. I think I'm probably kidding myself if I think I can drink the way i did and it'll still all be happily ever after, because it won't be, will it.

MinStar - glad you feel better. Teething creates more mucus, so can seem like a cold. Or of course, it could just be a cold! Lol.

BlondAmb - well done! That's really really cool you got to day 10.