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    Newbies Nest

    The false self lives mainly through memory and anticipation. Past and future are its main preoccupation. The present moment, at best, is a means to an end, a stepping stone to the future, because the future promises fulfillment, the future promises salvation in one form or another. The only problem is the future never comes. Life is always now.
    Herbie,

    Now...Those are words to live by...Thanks for that. It sounds like you are doing fantastic. Keep it up. I truly have not read a statement that felt so right in a long time. Again...I loved this. Might just print it and paste it to my forehead.

    Everyone....Since we are at BAT ---- Stay strong and swing solid; followthrough on the curve balls and slam the Beast out of the park today.

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      Newbies Nest

      'The Power of Now', Eckhart Tolle one of my favorite books
      It really does serve us well to stay in the moment! That's why I like meditation as well.

      Willow, my first thought about mouth ulcers was stress or possibly a viral/bacterial infection.
      How to treat and prevent mouth ulcers

      Alll the more reason to be sure you get your supplements in ~ especially the B vits. Hope you feel better soon

      Glad to hear everyone stayed safe in the nest overnight & has enough to do today to stay away from AL. Come Monday morning you will be so happy you did

      I have lots to do myself today & that's a good thing!
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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        Newbies Nest

        Wow! The past few pages in the nest is soooo inspiring!!

        PF - printed out your fight against AL...Powerful!!
        Willow, Ronnie, Blondie, Mrsg, Windy, Herbie thank you al for doing great.
        Love the ideas and warnings.
        So far I am just stuffing myself, while I would actually like to go just vegan and then raw food...
        The 30 day thing is real. It is where I fell the last time, and now I am determined to do a year!

        Wanted to go jogging this afternoon, but we have a heat wave in SA. Think I'll just sleep and sweat, since it requires no effort...

        And for those who always wanted to be able to knit....I was a very fond drunken knitter... last year I finished a jersey where the front and back lines didn't match and this year the one arm shorter than the other!! LOL! I gave it to the less fortunate!

        Battling a bit on day 2. BUT I WILL NOT DRINK!!!

        Go well!
        12-20-2012 AF
        Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.

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          Newbies Nest

          done Steady, keep it up hon. I know it's so so hard .... But here I am on day 6 and never expected to be!

          Thanks Lav - I expect it's my poor body detoxing or something, all the abuse I've put it through. It's going to feel worse before it gets better I believe. I've been drinking loads of water and herbal teas and trying to eat healthily, and I bought some B vitamins today too.

          Herbie - I hope you manged to get your nails done. It's surprising how those little things make you feel. I got my eyebrows shaped today, I get it done every couple months or so, but today it just felt different because of all the changes I'm making. And having the money to easily do those things, because I haven't wasted loads on AL.

          Speaking of which, today in the supermarket I felt really miserable because it's coming up to Christmas and there is booze EVERYWHERE. It was so in my face and utterly depressing. Then my daughter found a Disney dressing up costume that she fell in love with and my son found a hat/gloves set that he loved - together it all cost ?19. I would normally have wasted that money (and more) this week on AL. Now I don't drink, I can afford to do things like that and the look on their little faces made me feel so much better.

          Coming up to my witching hour. I am nervous because I'm making spaghetti tonight and normally accompany it with a lot of red wine whilst cooking and eating (although not much eating). My husband offered to cook but I do enjoy cooking and I need to break the equation in my head that cooking = drinking. I'm going to keep the thoughts of my kids and having more money in my head to keep me strong.

          Hope everyone's doing ok x

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            Newbies Nest

            Ok Willow -

            Let's find you a replacement for the AL. I thought of the Jason Vale book and one of his premises is if the first thing you do when you come home and you drink and immediately relax - the drink wasn't the cause. It hasn't had time to take effect.

            The reaction is your body getting it's habit met. So replace the AL with something else in it's place.

            Every night - when I would have poured a glass - the size of a fishbowl - but still called it only one glass - instead I brew up the hot water and make a big habit of making tea in exactly the same way. While it steeps, I break out the GABA/Glutamine/Aminos's with water - sit and relax. Tea done steeping? Elaborate pour into new lovely fishbowl size mugs. Sit in favorite chair as if it were wine - wait for similar relaxation to hit.

            It takes longer - not fully habit yet. But as the days pass it's becoming one - the relaxation is becoming similar, and I am doing better.

            Just a thought - what is working for me might not work for you.

            Hang in there - sending good thoughts
            That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
            Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
            AF - August 20, 2012

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              Newbies Nest

              Wow, what a lot of inspiration here this week. I can't even begin to call out all those that have shared such inspiring words. Seems like it is coming from all of you. Everyone seems to be doing awesome, let's keep up the good work through the weekend.

              Day 20 AF here. Woke up in the middle of the night and thought "how would I have felt waking up if I had been drinking this past evening?" That thought kept going through my head . I guess all these head games are part of the process. Having been warned about the 30 day, let's-have-a-drink-reward syndrome, I will try to be uber vigilant as I approach that day (which will be the day before Thanksgiving). We will be having Thanksgiving, just us, me Husband and kids, instead of a big shebang. Not sure if this will make it easier or harder. Maybe I need to set another goal right before I hit this one. I'll be reading here for all the help I can get. Anyone else worried about Thanksgiving?
              BelleGirl

              Alcohol does me no favors.

              Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

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                Newbies Nest

                I am worried about Thanksgiving - but I will re-read the rabbit hole post before hand. :-)

                And remember that last Thanksgiving I had too much, broke a glass, and fell asleep on my friend's couch in front of the wood stove. What a superstar.
                That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                AF - August 20, 2012

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Thanks PF. I have cammomile tea in a big mug every evening and green tea during the day as well as water. I know it's habit and breaking the cycle, I can't wait for the day when my habits are actually ones I feel good about.. I guess that's a long way off, maybe never!

                  When is Thanksgiving? Is it the third weekend of November?

                  I very very nearly caved when I started cooking dinner, so I sent my husband out to get some nice juice and a bottle of NA sparkling wine. I think I will stick with the juice or plain water in future cos the wine not being the 'real thing' is making me feel cheated and kind of pissed off. Nearly time to start the bedtime routine, so will get into PJ's after that to watch TV, then bed. Dare I say, I think I'm going to make it through Day 6.

                  Thanks everyone so so much - I really wouldn't be able to do this without you guys!

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Good idea, PF, about re-reading the rabbit hole story before, or ON Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving we hosted my parents and brother. Parents were very concerned about my behavior, but they were too clueless to attribute it to drinking. Husband made me explain and apologize to my brother who ran damage control with my parents (though husband was clueless to my "supplemental" drinking). Not fun times... And I have broken my share of glasses, bowls and whatnots during drunken holidays.

                    I am also one of those loves-to-drink-wine while cooking. Lately when gearing up to cook dinner I have been doing 3 things: 1) eating a piece of fruit 2) drinking 10oz of water and 3) making and drinking a cup of green teen with honey, lemon and ginseng. Relaxes me but also gets me focused on cooking for some reason. I dunno, but so far it is working for me. If I drink tea all Thanksgiving day, I will have a rough time with both my bladder and my sleep! Gotta figure something out.
                    BelleGirl

                    Alcohol does me no favors.

                    Pouring poison down your throat is just plain STUPID!

                    Comment


                      Newbies Nest

                      I highly recommend Decaf Green Tea - Harris brand if you can get it
                      I drink it straight up & like it strong! :H

                      Don't worry about Thanksgiving - it goes just fine without wine.
                      Drinking wine with a turkey dinner is just a learned habit ~ one we can easily change
                      btw - Thanksgiving is 11/24 or in my house 11/23 due to shift workers, etc.

                      Glad to hear everyone is moving forward! I think we have a great group of strong, determined newbies right now - make a nest mum proud
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Hey all!
                        Sorry such a late post but I have been thinking about you all. So glad to read everyone is doing really well AF! Have only had a chance to read back two pages or so.
                        D5 for me. Feels weird as we have had family over and the got wine in. Infact I got hubby to get some as they like Rose. But I had none- lots of sparkling water- and far too mcuh food. I did think several times to have one but I know I can;t stop at one and the thought of going back to D1 and having to come and tell you all is still keeping me off it :0)

                        Off to zzzzzzzz so speak to you all tomorrow. Keep up to good work!!

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Well no zzzz for me still !!!! How long does this go on for. I'll be shattered tomorrow

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                            Newbies Nest

                            Good evening Nesters!

                            Min, hang in there, sleep will come
                            have you ever tried an OTC like Calms Forte? Helps!
                            Congrats on your 5 AF days - great work!

                            I'm going to try to get some sleep myself to prepare for a busy Sunday with my family. They are coming over in shifts - some for lunch some for dinner

                            Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!
                            Lav
                            AF since 03/26/09
                            NF since 05/19/09
                            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Hi all my nesting friends,
                              I don't know when I posted last and am too tired to get all caught up. Sorry

                              18 days AF. My hubby left this morning for hunting. So I am hoping that I will not be tempted to drink this coming week and also hoping for some down time. Downtime is not always possible but I really need it.

                              Good night all, I will try and check in tomorrow.:bedtime:
                              :hitme:
                              Day 1:4/4/2014

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Night all... ending day 3..feeling OK but I feel like sleep will be difficult tonight...

                                Mimi.. hope you do get your downtime, ... Congrats on 18 days... It was opening day here in MO, hunters everywhere, will be glad when they all go home so I don't have to worry about one of them mistaking my horse or dog for a deer!

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