Newbies Nest

[Anna123]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the link!

So now that I know there isn't a huge fallout from last night, (except my liver wants to fall out) I don't feel as panicky and I can I want to have a glass of wine with dinner. I KNOW that I can't though. Does this ever happen with you guys? Everything is "fine" so now I can drink! I know it's BS.....

A

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Anna123- The same thing with me. I knew things were ok so I wanted to carry on. The only thing I keep reminding myself is that it is a slippery slope and I am already on it. There will be a point which I pass and can not stop.
Even now I want to have one and think I need that/I should have that as a treat. it isnt a treat for me anymore- it is a killer and will kill me. I am retraining my mind to think of it as poison as that is what we are consuming. I hope that kinda helps!
Do keep trying. I find hunger makes me want to drink so I make sure I have eaten something.

Talking of which- I managed another AF day and also cooked dinner and used a splash of the open wine. I figured it is in cooking and would be ok. Of course- had there been no wine open I would not have used it

Irie- Hey! Hope the rest of your afternoon went well and you are firm in your resolve!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

DAY 13-Response to Byrd's Question on "this" day...

Hi Nesters! Welcome Anna! :welcome: I see the toolbox thread came to the rescue a few times...READ READ READ it; it is chock full of helpful info to guide you in making a plan to stop drinking AL. Come here for support daily, that is also invaluable in sticking with it, speaking from personal experience and that of those who have gone before me.

Byrdie, I remember reading Day 13 mentioned a few times and how it is a magical turning point. For me, I do feel great and as I mentioned in my post this morning, I feel stronger in my resolve to quit drinking for good. Every passing day that is AF makes me feel stronger in this regard so I'm not certain if Day 13 really hits that nail on the head or not. I do feel much more "clear headed" today, more so than any other day so far, and maybe there is where the magic lies...whether you get it or not. I am more interested in getting to Day 14, for whatever reason the 2 week mark is a milestone for me. I didn't feel like drinking today, even though I came home hungry as a bear in Spring, which I know is a big no no, but I didn't get a break at work today and so eating something just got put on the back burner till I got home for dinner...which I did eat right away. As for Day 13, I am glad I passed the tilting point. I keep saying this but it gets better every day...

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Anna, welcome to the nest. Pull up a twig and talk a while. I came here when I had no where else to go but rehab. With the help and support and the kick in the asses, I am now almost 11 months sober. Something I would have never dreamed in a million years. I came here scared of the future...how could I possibly function without my crutch? I just couldn't think that far down the road. I held out the hope that my relationship with AL (alcohol) would eventually improve and I could be a normal drinker. Unfortunately, once that jeannie is out of the bottle (drinkin joke) you just can't put it back in. I tried for a solid year to moderate, and the times I would get some AF (alcolhol free) days in and then start to moderate, I'd end up WORSE each time. (That was quite a surprise). It was like when I took the rules away, I would panic that someone was going to take it away from me again so I would drink until I could absolutely drink no more. How sexy is it to look in the mirror and see a drunken has-been looking back at you? Finally after a year of that, my hubs packed his bags and left. He came back the next day to get more clothes, and it was at that time I promised him I'd get help. My wonderful life and husband of 24 years had had enough of scraping me off the floor. He was catching me in lies, and he found my stash. I was a ghost of the powerhouse I used to be. Work was suffering too. I would start drinking around 3:30 in the afternoon. Trouble was the next day I couldn't remember what I had done...and my stuff was riddled with mistakes. Weekends I started drinking at 10:30 in the morning, and would pray that I could control it so I wouldn't pass out by 8 that night. I was almost never successful at that. I drank vodka at first, and then thought if I changed over to wine, it'd be less bad. This is not true. Wine is just vodka with a mustache. AL is AL. Finally, my blood work began to show the signs of decades of AL abuse. What was it going to take for me to get my life back? What in the hell was it going to take? I had all the signs, but AL made me ignore them. Not until my husband sat down across from me and told me how he envisioned splitting up our assests did I finally get the shake I required. I got on line, and googled, How to stop drinking without going to rehab. And I landed here. This was the best place I could have possibly set down roots. If you want to quit drinking, this is the place for you. There are other sites and even other threads on this site that speak of moderating. But if you want to get this monkey off your back for once and for all, you are in the right place. We are patient, but we will kick you in the butt when you need it. But most of all...we all want you to succeed. WE HATE AL. We are sick and tired of what it has done to us and our friends. AL will always win. All you have to do is not drink it. All you have to do is get thru the next minute, the next 5 and the next 10. Don't think too far down the road at this point, it's just too much. It's easy early in the day, but if your witching hours are like mine, from about 4-6 in the evening is TOUGH! All you gotta do is get thru a couple tough hours, and you'll have your first AF day! Just do whatever it takes to get thru it. Do not drink no matter what and no matter who. Be good to yourself in other ways. Get thru this night. You can do it. Read all you can here. You will find support everywhere you turn. Tell us about you, what did you google to get here? Byrdie

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Looking back on threads from earlier this year...

Hi again Nesters...decided to stay a bit on with MWO this evening. I wanted to search the Nest to earlier this year when I was doing so well...back in jan/feb/march of this year. Ironically, I ened up on the page where it was Byrd's 13th day and on that day in February, it was my 26th day...so had I stayed with the program, Bryd and I (and I remember Jolie was close to me in days at that point also), I could be saying that I am almost to a year's worth of sobriety instead of just on my 13th, but that's OK, I am happy where I am and grateful for another shot. By the way, I have not seen Jolie around so please tell her hello for me if anyone is in touch on a regular basis. She was always to friendly and supportive. Anyway, Bryd, here is your post from Day 13 and here I am at day 13 and I thought it was such a coincidence that I landed on that entry when doing my search of the Nest's "past" activity!

Byrdlady;1053054 wrote: Day 13. Yesterday was EASY!!!! I'm so happy to report, that hubs was out of town and I had the perfect opportunity to have myself a high old time....but I didn't! The voices weren't as loud or as often, so day 13 was the day that I think I turned the corner. I feel good! I certainly haven't lost any weight...I am rewarding myself by saying, look, you can have anything in the world you want, except AL...now I need to reel myself in a bit and stop eating everything in sight. Finally finished off the last of the Christmas cookies I had in the freezer. For the first time in years, I feel like I'm getting control of my life, and it feels really good! ODAT! I could NOT have done it without this site.

Byrdie, got something for ya = :l

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Wow Blondi...how about that...I got a shiver up my own spine. Thank you for that. There is another great reason to stay on this site, you can go back and look at your own words. This was the time that I finally got it!
I haven't seen Jolie in a while..I pray that she is ok...I don't know what I would have done without her guidance.
You are awesome! Thanks again, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters!

Hello & welcome Anna
This is a great program, to get the most out of it you need to go to the Health store at the top of any page & download the MWO book. It has a lot of good information about the programs's components - supplements, Hypnotherapy, exercise, diet & medications if you chosse to use them.
It's a quick read but essential info. That along with a strong commitment & a good plan will help you reach your goals

Blondie, stay present, OK?
We all wish we had 'do-over' days

Seeing lots of progress here in the Nest & that's terrific!
Keep up the great work one & all & have a safe night in the Nest (nest belts & butt velcro available)

Lav

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. I've got nothing profound to say, but just wanted to stop by to say that I would never had made it to day 22 without you all. I may be a bit quiet, but I read and read and cheer & cry with you all. The ups and downs just reinforce the fact that we are all human. To the newbies, when you feel the old AL urge coming on, just come here and read. I guarantee you will find the gold nugget that you need at any given time. I am so amazed and grateful for what I have found here. I don't know when and if I will fall off the wagon (I somehow feel like I can guarantee it will happen) but I am sure that I can always find support and a good butt kicking here.

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Hi all nesters!

I was out and in a nest..Moved to Australia and drink more..Had some 3-4 days AF but i ' d like really to stop.
I can' t control and that' s my biggest problem..Living in South Australia with a plenty of good wine is hard for alchoholic but the proof is that you can move 14 000 km but you can' t escape from yourself and your problems..I don' t want to loose myself but want to solve my biggest issue and problem with AL..

Day 1 for me again.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

We are approaching 15,000 messages to each other!! My first post was #4745! Wow, a lot of good has been done here. Cheers to us!!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

I know Byrdie
Pops is usually keeping an eye on us - maybe he'll pop in to say hello!
I've always been grateful to him for starting the nest

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Just quickly checking in tonight, as I promised myself this morning I would. I KNEW today was going to be
different,and it was. The thing that made the difference for me was reading this thread this morning, and thinking if they can do it, I can too. I saw others on day one (again) who were ready to give it another try, and I just knew this was my time. A profound thank you to you honest, supportive people who finally broke through all my excuses and spoke the truth so plainly that I couldn't ignore it for one more day.

I must sound silly, like I think I've got things whipped on day one. I know better than that, but I am literally ready to do battle now, and I'm going to win this time. I can't wait to hit day 13, Blondie. It sounds so far away right now, but I will get there. And then Byrd... one day I hope I can be half the inspiration to someone else that you have been to me today. See you all tomorrow, right here!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi Audrey! Welcome back to the nest! Pull up a twig and grab some of that butt velcro that's going around. We may need to order another reel of that, Lav, seems to be doing the trick .

Byrdie-I know, I kinda got shivers about landing on that link of the 13th day myself...I find stuff like that happens to me just when I or someone else needs it. Life is funny.

Ok, can't seem to get off here tonight...lol! Was supposed to exit a few hours ago but got caught up in past posts from myself and other nesters from throughout the past year...it's been an eyeopener, believe me. And now, seeing some names back then that were so positive and on the right track that seem to have disappeared, I wonder where they are? I wish them all well, even if they are out of the Nest at the moment and have found a different way.

It's like reading a diary by going back through all those pages. I ended up going back to January 15th, my first Nest post (I had been sober since Jan 8th of 2011 at that point) and counted up the days in Jan/Feb/March and then fast forward to a few weeks in early-mid June (I caved at 14 days in June...right about where I am right now, but I am feeling much stronger now than then...and in my June posts, I hadn't made the 100% decision that I was going to quit because I stated: "I want to get AL out of my life for a while". That is very different from my viewpoint now which is, "I want to get AL out of my life for good". Very different indeed.

So, after all of that, I decided to not only keep track of my total "in a row" days of being AF, but also to tally up and keep a runny tally in my auto signature of the total AF days from the start of the year, since all that hard work should not be thrown down the toilet and because it only motivates me more to add to that bigger number every day. I am very proud that as of today, I have spent 97 days sober since the start of the year and I owe it to life lessons learned and shared on this very site. Thank you all.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Today is Day 19 - and in some ways the hardest and easiest day yet.

There is a chance parts or my whole team will lose the jobs this week - including me. Normally this would have sent me diving into not a bottle - but a full box of wine. I knew last Thursday but I made the whole weekend - and I was so proud. Today I was supposed to know - but it's been delayed. So - what was supposed to be over - no more holding my breath - is not happening.

And again - suspension like this - on a topic as serious for so many people - would have sent me to the vino. But I went to the grocery store and I passed it all buy.

I can't promise how I will do if I and the team lose our jobs. But I can say - tonight - I will be stronger than AL.

Day 19 - and I say it again - today I will be stronger than AL.

And it's with your support, friendship, and ears.

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Wow ending day 5 and feeling better than I have in a long time...Nollie, know what you mean about a head on with the hubby... sends my stress and anxiety sky high and like I said last night, I just wanted to grab that glass of wine and make everything dull...but thank goodness for the nest... anxiety and stress has caused me to reach for that glass way to many times.. it is my key trigger and I need to come up with other coping mechanisms..
Blondie you are so inspiring.. 97 days most excellent
LoLab.. passing on the wine is great.. right now I don't have anything in the house and my real challenge will be when it is right under my nose.. hope I am as strong
You are all so inspiring.. I guess I am gushing ... but I feel so darn good and its is because of all you... thank you thank you thank you