Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Made it to day 30

...but not really feeling like celebrating. Waiting for lab results. Maybe when/if I see I haven't hammered my liver or anything else I will feel better. Really have to start thinking about my plan for Thanksgiving. It will be just husband, me and kids here, and a Turkey, etc. One of the things husband and I always shared was love of fine wines. Wondering if he will open a bottle of something special. Since this was always a special part of our relationship, I don't know how it will go down if I do not partake. He has not noticed me not drinking because a) he doesn't drink much and b) he works a lot. If I told him how bad my problem had become (he perceives a bit of it), he would freak out due to his old family baggage and he would probably go off the edge. So, maybe I "fake" drinking wine...ha ha. Or just give it a try. I know I may get yelled at for that, and I have seen so many examples of modding gone bad.

Anyway...should be happy today, but just not really. Maybe it is the cold, gloomy rain here...

[Turnagain]

Newbies Nest

oh Belle Girl...my pugilicious buddy...

Pardon me for whooping it up just a little bit for your 30 day achievement! Like you, I was very concerned about the potential for permanent damage. But I can tell you this for sure: We aren't damaging ourselves further by keeping alcohol out of our lives. Our bodies are remarkable. They will usually heal if we give them the chance. Your body is already thanking you!

I have a similar situation with my hubby. He is unaware of just how bad my drinking was. Initially, when I was no longer drinking - even on special occasions...with special bottles coming out of the collection - I told him I just wasn't feeling like having a drink. Now, that it has been 4 months, I have finally told him that I no longer drink because I could no longer control how much and how often I drank.

Interestingly enough, his drinking has nearly slowed to a standstill. He would pop a beer or two every night and then drink wine on the weekends. Now...he might have one or two drinks for the entire week AND he usually has those out with his buds.

As all of us know...holidays can certainly trigger all sorts of feelings and desires for Al. These situations sure became a lot easier for me once I made a decision to no longer drink....no matter what. And more essentially, I made a decision to think POSITIVELY about that decision.

At first, I was just giving the concept lip service... for example...I would say to myself....


wow - how great this is to go through my first (birthday, anniversary, wedding, vacation, etc.) in years without being drunk...

It didn't take too long for me to start REALLY FEELING it! The other thing I did to help retrain my brain was to banish any self-pity and immediately replace those thoughts with positive ones. So instead of feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't drinking like 'normal' people....I would kabosh that and say to myself...I feel so good...so confident....so free without Al in my life. Lav calls this the attitude of gratitude. Slather it on baby birdies....it's good for building strong wings and it honestly rewires your brain circuitry.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. And this Thursday, I will have something new to give thanks for. It will be my first AF Thanksgiving since I was an adult. I am thankful I have my life back. And when the wine drinkers pour their toast....I'll be grateful to see that slice of lemon in my wine glass and know that I am free from an addiction that would've killed me. I have so much to look forward to now.

For any of you who are wavering as the holidays approach....know that you can get through these weeks without letting alcohol control your life. You really can. And you will feel so good! Give yourself this gift. And then treat yourself and others to something special with the money you've saved from keeping Al away from your life.

To date....I've saved $2684 from not drinking and smoking for the past 122 days. That ain't chicken feed (altho maybe it is for you, Lav since you've got a big flock of hungry hens!) I'm sure I can think of some great ways to put that money to positive use...mama will be making a long list for sure!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Turn...you make a mama proud! You took the words right out of my beak!!! Belle...in those days around 30, I threw a big party...a big Pity Party of 1. Listen to Turn...and be grateful that you are so far along and that AL is kicked out of this nest.
I say a big old Southern 'Hell Yeah' to everything Turn said.
This is a big step for all of us! We can do it together! Hugs...t

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Hi All

I had a nasty scare tonight. I am now 18 days AF and as I sat in my hotel bar about to have my food, I got a huge desire to have a couple of glasses of nice cold wine. The voice in my head was so convincing...just a couple will relax you and make you feel so much better. I thought I had all of the answers because the last 18 days have not been too difficult to get through. Now I have learnt just how powerful this drug really is.
I am fortunate that I was able to resist those urges and did not have the drink. I largely put that down to opening up my computer and reading through these posts. I don't think I could have got through that bad half hour without this forum and the good people here who are all working so hard to kick this evil addiction. Strangely enough, the craving has now completely left me and I don't have the desire to drink again, however it could have been so different. One weak moment and a glass of cold white could have slid down my throat and I would have been back to where I was 18 days ago and of course not only filled with regret, but also totally depressed at having failed. Thank you all so much for your inspiration.

One question to ask tonight. Whilst I am sleeping better, I still find myself getting very tired during the day and in the early evening. Does anyone know if this is normal when kicking AL ?

Well done to everyone elso on here who completed yet another day wihout AL !

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hi timpin! Well done In not giving into the craving. It is shoving how strong they can get in a short spaceof time. I also felt the tiredness and a few people said it is normal. Just body trying to rebalance. Are you taking any supplements? I felt better after iron, but I know that I can fet low on that.sorry about typos. On my phone.

Was hoping to get inti JV book but already 11pm here and day 1 completed.

Well done to all who had another AF dy and those that dint. Gome back and come grab a seat next to me

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Great post, Turnagain!

Timpin, I start to wind down at around that time too (I am day 11 AF). I just try to get a snack in and relax lately.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Today is Day 27. Today sucks various and sundry body parts - mostly large and domesticated farm animals. If you want to see why - you can see my post on the 30 day thread. I have nothing worth saying other than that.

Xoxo to you all - today - you and the promises I have made myself - kept my head out of my arse.

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Timpin great job! There have been plenty of mornings I have regretted drinking, but never one I regretted NOT drinking!
Hi Nesties,
Day 3. Slept better last night. (Xanax). Still quite irritable but drinking tons of water and taking my supps. I feel utterly exhausted too, so I'm just taking it easy. Had some fleeting thoughts of drinking today after work. I did the fast forward to hung over thing and said "eff that" lol. Mr. Nursie seemed happy to come home to a sober Nursie again.
I haven't got my "why aren't you drinking" answer picked out yet. Because it will be very obvious over the holidays and I can't waver!
Hey, did anyone see the Nicoderm CQ commercial for quitting smoking but they were in a Bar with beer everywhere? Lmao
It's normal and socially acceptable to quit smoking but if you quit drinking you have issues. Nevermind the knuckleheads who are still drinking! Lol so crazy.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Great job, Timpin! I may have made 30 days AF, but I was never really tested like you were. Good chance I would have caved in those circumstances. You make your nestmates proud!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

BelleGirl;1213463 wrote: Great job, Timpin! I may have made 30 days AF, but I was never really tested like you were. Good chance I would have caved in those circumstances. You make your nestmates proud!

Congrats on the 30 BelleGirl! You did GREAT!!!!!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

I apologize for being a bit of a whiner earlier this evening...but I got a call from my doctor's office and labs look great. Yes! Liver is OK! So now I am celebrating, and not gonna take the old liver for granted ever again. Hopefully now my anxiety will subside and I can really ENJOY being AF. Thanks Turnagain for an awesome post, and Byrdie for smacking some sense into me (I was having a bit of a pity party). Since I am doing all the cooking for Thanksgiving, I will tell hubby that I do not care to drink any wine, so that i don't f'up the dinner. There is a lot to coordinate...and it is true for me, that whenever I cook a big dinner while drinking I ALWAYS forget or screw something up...ALWAYS.

I could not have made 30 AF without this board and all of you on it. I had to have a place where i could be honest, and feel connections with folks. I don't plan on going anywhere, because I know the battle ain't over yet. Thank you all so much...I hope I can help others as you all have helped me.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Glad you are feeling better now Belle!
Just keep moving forward & take the time to enjoy your healthy, new, sober life

PF, I know you have a lot going on. Tackling our lives & the accompanying problems with a clear head shows that we have learned and grown a lot. Be proud of yourself, we certainly are proud of you!

Congrats to everyone for getting thru another AF day
Just keep ignoring those thoughts, they will come less frequently, honestly!!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest,
Lav

[playland]

Newbies Nest

Hello,
Dear Lavande, thanks for your pushing, I need it, and Byrdlady, that was such an inspirational post, I never dreamed anyone would actually make the effort to try to help me understand why it gets harder each time. All the encouragement that I have received here on this forum is just overwhelming to me, I finally have a place to be honest and feel accepted as I am. I want to make you proud of me, and I want to make me proud of me. I know that I just "have to do it", in my mind, I always need to set a date that means some kind of new beginning for me, that would be on the 28 of this month. I'm just returning to work after taking some time off and I'm setting that date as DAY 1. I am desperate to live my life "on purpose".

I am thankful to everyone on this site, thank you for giving me hope, strength and the determination to try again. Hope everyone has a good night and I will check in tomorrow.

[nollie]

Newbies Nest

Hell yeah from me too. I can't believe how liberating it is to finally acknowledge that moderation is not the way for me and that I no longer want AL in my life. Ronnie, you CAN keep feeling this good, stay positive.

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

YEAH!! This feels great!!

Day 13...