Newbies Nest

[slowly sinking]

Newbies Nest

Well, Day 3--I already failed.....I'll start over tomorrow....pressures of T-day..let myself down, but the good news it is only two glasses of wine..not two bottles..and this is a dry town so I'v e got no place to go buy it on T-day....I'll go home and re-group......tomorrow's another day

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

slowly sinking,
what caused you enough pressure to drink? Was it really that bad or is it a matter of habit?
It takes a long time & a lot of effort to break that habit of automatically reaching for a drink ~ we have to rewire our brains

MinStar, it's true - detoxing is not an overnight event so you are going to be dealing with low energy & mood swings, etc. Please be sure to drink lots of water, take the supplements, get some fresh air ~ heal thyself!

if dreams..., same goes to you as well! Take extra good care of yourself, sleep when you can, your mind & body will catch up at some point.

I just want to mention that depression was my #1 drinking trigger!
Long standing, unresoled despression & anxiety made worse by repeating the same old patterns. I would stop for a while then just start again & again. I didn't see the pattern until I kicked AL out of my life, once & for all & took the steps to manage my depression. Something to think about! Life btw is good without AL regardless of what's going on around me

[slowly sinking]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Lavande....lots of things caused it...I have chronic pain...yesterday was hard...my hubsand left me recently..haven't heard from him so I spent the day feeling strong-moving all his stuff into a storage unit..getting cheers from all my friends..BUT, at the end of the day, all the moving aggravated the pain and it was so bad that I was out of my mind in pain...so I said, "I'll have one glass to help ease it"...the painful truth of how much of this all started...

And you're right...I've been very depressed so drinking is my trigger...I'm in therpay but also have an appt with a psyc. to get on the proper meds for depression.
Thanks for caring and congrats on your AF...I'm gonna keep trying..hope is not lost...xx..SS

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

I am so glad I am not alone about the eating thing, my poor dog is starting to worry about her treats. I have a glass of water with me at all times, and in the early morning herbal tea.
Slowly Sinking, I used to wake up and say today is the day, and something would trigger it, but someone here said to pick a day, so the day before I emptied all, not down the drain either. The next morning I started. Today is D3 and about 72 hours. As I mentioned before I count the hours, they are important to me. Maybe that could work for you also.
Minstar we are neck to neck, we can do this, we all can.
Thankyou Lavande for the helpful info. Waiting for D4

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Hi Minstar, Hi All

Minstar, I hope you are enjoying the book. Please keep me informed as you go through it. I found it to be a complete inspiration, especially the bit that says there is no such thing as an alcoholic, never has been and never will be !!! It completely changed my outlook on life. ALs if it's any help, I went through the mood swings at around day 10-12 and also a few days around then of feeling really tired during the day. Sleeping was not too easy either but all of that seems to have passed. I'm still fairly new to all of this as I am only on day 20 and a long way to go yet, but already feeling better than I have done for years and much younger too !

I have just been to see my doctor to give him an update and he was genuinely pleased with the progress so far. He had recommended AA, but I was not having any of that. He now agrees that it would not be right for me as we are all different. He had promised me that If I stayed off AL for a few days, he would prescribe Campral for me. We had a discussion about it and I told him that I was going to turn it down as things were going quite well. However knowing how powerful AL is, I decided to go with it for a month and then review things.

Took the first dose tonight and looking forward to seeing if it helps. The cravings have not been too bad except for two nights ago when I could have easily cracked. Hoping to get another twenty days under my belt next.

Slowly Sinking, keep working away at it. I know what you are going through and I know that if you can get a few days behind you, you will feel so much better.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Hello nesters!
Hope all are well.
Slowly sinking dojt Worry about the drinking. Like you said you have already altered the norm by having just a glass. Here is to D1! :l

lavande thanks. I really do feel the depression slippig away the more AF days I have. As for eating- well there goes that diet.

Horses- here is to another day without AL. So pleased you are doing so strong. I also have a glass of sparkling water or still next to me. Funny that as I never always had a wine glass with me. That was just for the evening once baby had gone to sleep. Just having water is normal for me throughout the day by as soon as the witching hour hit it was exchanged for a VERY large glass of wine :-(

Actually a thought just came to me- past three days I've not felt the witching hr upon me. I am at my mums so lots of distractions. I'll see if that last when I am home on Monday.

Timpin- I like that he says there is no such thing as alcoholism too. Although I am reading it fast so I am sure I am missing the point. There are some things that resonate loudly with me when I am reading and I really should have a note book with me. I'm at my mums so I Am living out of a weekend bag. I'm up to how AL gives you confidence and make sociL scenes more fun. Interesting points about fun nights without AL Or less AL. I was Nordic my head thinkig it is absolutely true.


One thing he said which has stuck in my mind is that we are not genetically predisposed to AL. When we were kids and felt like we were depressed, lacking confidence etc we didn't drink. Adults didn't say oh ok. You are sad here have a drink. We have created that. I believe I have 20yr of brainwashing to clear out.

On that note baby sounds like she has finally nodded off so more JV reading.


Hoping my fellow American nesters are enjoying a AL free Turkey day.


MinStar

Apologies for typos.....on phone again :-/

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Well Hello Nesters!
I made it out alive and sober! Two houses, two dinners, multiple temptations.
First house was easy, I was feeling strong.
Second house I was ready to crack and start over tomorrow. Honestly. I prayed. I thought hard about you guys. I saw the two regular sized bottles of wine that they were opening for 6 adults and I knew that even one of those bottles isn't enough for me and that I would be frustrated and I pictures myself stopping at the liquor store on the way home and ruining thanksgiving because I can't drink like a normal person.
When the bottle came around to me I just said "not right now". And that was it. Nobody asked again. I had water and then tea. I was the only one not drinking and although I wanted to, I am so happy I didn't.
Day 5. Check.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Whew! I made it through Turkey day AF! I was surprised that hubby never mentioned the idea of opening a bottle of wine, so I was in luck there (and that is really strange that he didn't). Not that I did not realllllly want a glass of wine after cooking all day! So I guess the good news is that I am still AF on day 32. The bad news is that I have not really been tested yet, except in my own mind. Maybe it is best that I get more AF days under my belt before a real test. OK with me.

It was nice being AF and not hungover while cooking. Did not forget anything, and coordinated cooking times just right. So unlike last year, where I did not even remember taking the turkey out of the oven!

So...again...thankful for this site...a lifesaver...and thankful for you all.

Good night and good day to all!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Nursie, just read your post. Awesome line: "not right now". Big Kudos to you for making it through not one, but two big tests. You will be so proud and happy with yourself tomorrow, if you are not already!:thumbs:

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good for you Nursie, you made the right choice today

Hope everyone made good choices today! I think we did

Belle, congrats on your AF holiday!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
I think my daughter wants to do some black Friday shopping - oh no :H

Lav

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi everybody - back in from my Turkey day doings - was the only one not drinking but since the SO left the red at home I was ok.

The hard part was when we got home - before my supplements kicked. It had been a long time since I ate and the blood sugar plummeted. There is vodka here (not my house but free to drink whatever - whenever) and it was CLOSE.

I ran - got those fast acting Glutamine chewies from GNC that get into your system in less that 15 mins - took the GABA plus Amino's - white knuckled through. Glutamine kicked in and majorly took edge off until the rest got going. Those chewies are FAB in emergency situations - cravings threatening to swamp you - unwrap 1 - 3 and give it 15 minutes. So much faster/stronger than pills - much more expensive - which is why I save for when I am chewing through the carpet due to sugar drop.

Anyway - made it. Drinking sugar free hot chocolate, having a snack, and have survived the craving alien.

Day 29 - Thanksgiving Day. I give thanks I made it through. Today I was stronger than AL. And tomorrow? Tomorrow is 30 days. I couldn't be more excited.

Thank each and every one of you for helping give me the strength to make it possible.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Repost of Thanksgiving scenario

Thought I would repost this for new Newbies. While catching up, I see a lot about depression. If I could advise a friend who might ask me...I'd say get off the AL for several days first..or weeks if you can. THEN reevaluate if you even need an antidepressant. I had a HELL of a time getting off Cymbalta the withdrawals were awful and I was a basket case (ended up in the ER). Please try anything else before you take a pill. You will be so surprised at how much better you feel just getting off AL I bet you won't even think you need something else. I wouldn't take another one unless my very life depended on it, and I may not then...did I mention, getting off it was HARD and miserable. Check out the drug your doctor might give you and google (Your Drug) Withdrawals.....you will be stunned at what you read. Wish I'd done that...I was a mess!
Anyway....here is the post I wrote a few weeks back....
Daisy, just climb back up on the horse, once you get a couple solid days under your belt, you will be right back in the state of mind you need to be. Someone famous said that the only thing worse than learning thru experience is NOT learning from it. Knowledge is power, IF you use it. Now you know, so buck on up!! You can do it! You have DONE it!
I'd wager that there isn't one of us here that didn't suffer from anxiety/depression with this disease. I can say without hesitation, that being AF goes a LONG way to fixing that too. My outlook is the best it's been in decades...all because I'm not hanging under a cloud of mind altering AL. Being sober helps you make better decisions...like staying sober.
Lola, I'm with you 100%....looking back and seeing folks who went with me thru the days of getting sober now falling off or not even checking in...scares me straight. People with months and years of sobriety....it just takes one time to cause the spiril...then you can justify anything...I know I could.
Belle...when you hear me refering to going down the rabbit hole...I am talking about the thoughts that make you want to drink. One thought leads to another, until finally, thoughts are actions and you are sucked in. I noticed it when you mentioned that your 30 days would be up the day before Thanksgiving...and that a glass of wine with the meal would be grand. This will get you in the hole in a hurry....Take the wine off the table (figuratively and literally) and you will be glad you did. It puts you in a state of turmoil. You want Peace, right? Let us go down the rabbit hole together...shall we? There's the family....all gathered, giving thanks. That one glass of wine in front of you. What are you thankful for? blah, blah, blah.....and it goes around. Before you know it the solitary glass of life is gone. Someone pours you another....(oh you shouldn't, but it IS Thanksgiving, after all). If you are able to stop at 2 you are a better person than I am. I would dare to say that even if you didn't have any more....the next day you'd feel the GSR brothers...(Guilt/Shame/Remorse). And alas...this is FRIDAY....the best drinking day of the week! And a day off from work...I bet you go to the store and get some of your old favorites...Then it's the weekend...and then you've blown it totally and why not drink... everyone else is??? The whole holiday thing sucks...all this wine around, why shouldn't I be able to drink like everyone else? The next thing you know, the holidays have come and gone...and you don't even know where they went. You find yourself feeling anxious, alone and depressed....because here you are right back where you started....Day Freakin 1. If you are me, it's was this point I didn't care if I lived or died...everything I had worked for had gone to hell in a basket. BUT, let us back up for a second, and relive this whole thing of my rabbit hole theory. Your 30 day anniversary is celebrated by your friends in the nest! And day 31 is Thanksgiving. You wake up with a clear head and are able to enjoy your food and the people. You are sober now, you don't drink. You don't so much RESIST the drink as you do REFUSE IT...you actually remember the day (what people said) and you are FREE of the demon that wants so badly to live in you. The next day you feel like you've won a victory!! YOU HAVE DONE IT! You've gotten thru your first Turkey Day without AL! On to day 32, and girl I'll tell you, no drink tastes better than being sober feels. By Christmas, instead of being a blurry mess, you will be in control!! No guilt! No Shame! No Remorse! You will never regret being sober. You know how the story ends...make it happen!!! When you feel your thoughts going there....tell yourself NO! HELL NO! And recite the Pledge of Allegience, or name the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves....google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves.....do anything you have to do to get that thought out of your head. Don't go down the rabbit hole. I've been there and trust me, there's no good to be had down there. Keep your quit no matter what or no matter who!!! I'll be perched up on your shoulder and I will knock you up side the head if you think of having a glass of wine!!! Deal??? Love you all!! Byrdie

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

It's been a long and somewhat frustrating day for me. Not all bad but it definitely had it's moments!

I had lots of offers of wine and wasn't really tempted by any of them... Not like the urges that I had this morning while alone in the house for a few minutes while getting ready. I really felt like 'sneaking' some then for whatever reason...?

But I saw lots of people I don't see too often and held down coherent conversations with them while keeping eye contact and remembering to ask them things about their lives... Typically when I was drinking that was not the case. I'd walk from room to room and never really have a conversation with anyone and at the end of the day have no idea what is going on with anyone.

I do think I was easily annoyed though. Next social gathering I think I will take a nerve tonic or calms forte first and see how it goes. Maybe it'll take the edge off that I'm used to AL doing

But maybe that's a huge mistake? Maybe I need to endure being frustrated and annoyed by peole and learn to deal with those Feelings without the help of alcohol OR homeopathic remedies... WHat do you think? I know I had that tense high energy feeling a few times today that I have always used alcohol to tone it down.

Anyway I am home and no AL -made 60 days and while initially people may have wished that I was drinking with them - by the end of the night after they all drank quite sensibly - it must have been quite refreshing to actually have me still joining in the conversation and still making sense!

Congratulations to all for making it another beautiful day in your life AF!!!

[Nursie]

Newbies Nest

Wonderful posts! I can't believe I survived a Thanksgiving sober! I'm still beaming!
Yes, I also was quite irritable and annoyed easily. :/

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Well done everyone! This must have been such a tempting day. I bet you all have fabulous full and fulfilling weekends now due to the ability to resist- you all deserve it.
Esp. Thanks to byrdie for that great rabbit hole analogy!