Newbies Nest

[nollie]

Newbies Nest

Keep bringing your horses back here, the courage & strength of others fighting their various battles is inspiring.

Belle have you spoken to a decent homeopath to find an alternative. I took Xanax years ago for stress & depression? I had the good fortune to have a change of doctor & he gave me a short homeopathic treatment, the difference was amazing, I felt very clear-headed, it was like the Xanax clouds just lifted. I now have a constitutional (especially suited to me) remedy I take when I get the first symptoms sneaking back, it's a massive help. Haven't had a cold sore in years either, whereas I used to suffer with them a lot.

Well, I made it through last night, leftover wine did indeed go straight down the sink. Guests bought a bottle of scotch as a pressie which I gave to hubby to out somewhere I wouldn't find (he didn't want to give it back!). Couldn't count how many times they tried to make me have a drink because 'I wasn't driving & that breast cancer research was a load of nonsense'. Quite surprised how determined & thankful I am not to go through Day 1 again.

Did have a sticky moment in the supermarket car park yesterday when I had a big craving. Stayed in the car to let the moment pass & checked my emails only to find a supportive email from a long-time recovering alcoholic I'd met at AA a few weeks earlier whilst he was on holiday. Can't believe how total strangers genuinely care so much about each other, but they do. Reckon we'll all come out of this better & stronger in the end.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

lots of great information here!!
i don't feel i have much to give at this point, so i'm just reading and absorbing as much as possible.
thank you all.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Hello & welcome lifechange!
Great name Just settle in for a while & make yourself comfy!

Nollie, good job on surfing that urge yesterday. We may always have a random thought of AL but if you keep ignoring it you are meeting your goal I wish homeopaths were easier to find ~ where are you located if I may ask? I took it upon myself three years ago to dump my Rx antidepressant & substitute an OTC to manage my anxiety/depression. Glad I did too because that's when I was finally able to quit drinking

If dreams, it took me quite a long time to develop a half-normal sleep pattern. Just keep doing the best you can, you'll get there.

Greetings SH, herbie, PF & everyone!
Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Sunday!

Lav

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday morning nesters!!!

I'm inspired by reading all of the victories here over the weekend. This weekend has been a challenge for me...Thanksgiving, tree trimming, the launch of the Christmas season. It was always paired with drinking and even though I have been in control since Nov. 2nd, the last few days have been the most challenging and I know it is due to the holidays. If it was any other time of year, it wouldn't be so difficult. But, I know that if I give in to AL and don't stick my sober ground, it will only end in a vicious cycle of hangovers, remorse and desperation. And I will never get out of it. So, for those of you who are also struggling extra due to the holidays, know that it will get easier...we just have to get through this season of "cheer". I'm looking forward to getting through the holidays sober and next year will be easier

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone and keep up the good work!

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Morning all... raining here... started yesterday afternoon and hasn't really stopped much, so it is very wet here... looked out on the horses a bit a go, they have a covered barn to go to but they stay in the rain.. never have understood that..
I took a short nap yesterday afternoon and it messed me trying to get to sleep, I ended up taking over the counter sleep aid cause at 1 am I start to freak if I am not getting to sleep... listened to the sleep hypno CD for sometime but did not seem to help, maybe cause it was my first night.. I am all ears on advise for good sleep.. will go to the homeopathic store sometime this upcoming week to see what I can find..(it is about 40 miles away)

Dream with Horses Nolie and Lavs advise sounds good to me too.. sounds like you are doing great

anxiety and sleep problems are at the core of my problems with wine... don't get me wrong, I loved it at social events, holidays etc but when I was around people having a good time I usually did not over do it.. but when I did, I always felt so stupid the next day ... but thinking about, in the last few years, it was when I got home after the party is when I would sip down a "few"more.. I read one post about clean up time after the party dinner etc. and sipping on the wine... know all about that too... Nollie you faced a very big challenge last night ... and overcame it way to go girl

LOLAB.. how did you do last night after you emotionally draining call with the BF?? You are on my mind

My hubby is out of town and only have heard from him once in 2 days... not happy about that.. my mind starts to wonder what is he up to??? Have never had this happen with him before..

Steady hands.. funny how we smell the drink on people know.. like smokers who quite and start smelling the order from the ciggs for the first time

Blonde... here is to getting through this holiday season AF.. we all have to keep our eye on the ball (i sometimes lift my head at the last minute so I have got to watch it) remember where we want to be on 1/1/12... have a plan and work the plan... I know you will do great

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Nollie - good on you for getting that down the sink and better for the car park. What is it about supermarket parking lots?! Get triggered there too...so glad you had that email waiting - people can be angels and they come where they come - so glad you had one yesterday.

Welcome If Dreams - saw your longer story on Guitarista's thread - glad you are here. :-)

BelleGirl - don't know if you have been online yet - but glad you are here.

And LolaB - feels like you are my AF angel a lot of days. I sat I the parking lot waiting for the l-Glut to hit, remembering how last time I thought about what you said,Ickes the car and drove away. Which saved me that night. Thought about doing it again but the Glut was kicking in and I thought "F' the Alien - I can't live my life locked in my house. Rat basterd. I am going in here, I am buying my dinner, and I am NOT buying any AL. Just seltzer and tea. Rat basterd can't make me."

I get sassy when the glut kicks in. Actually it helps not to feel like a victim - when I am all upset and poor pitiful me - then I want one.

So - tomorrow is the big bad day. I am here alone with the cat so today is going to be LONG.

Wish me luck - staying sane today and not breaking open into a thousand pieces tomorrow.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Day three for me. A bit of a victory for me last night, went to a friends house for dinner and managed to abstain. The wine, beer and rum were flowing, but I truly had a pretty easy time passing it up. Early days yet, so I'm not taking anything for granted yet.

I have a lot of respect for those of you who are further down the path. I'm going to try and do everything I can to learn from you.

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

It is raining here as well in Southwestern Ontario. Kind of the day you do not want to go outside, had to twice for my dog. Thankyou PF, my life has been a rocky road, and now I plan on smoothing it out. I hope I continue to feel confindent, but this morning I feel light headed and cold again. I guess we have good days and then days like today. I feel my will wavering a bit, and I keep clenching my fists, so my spirit is almost a damp as the outdoors.
Irie good for you on Day 3, I am going on Day 6, something I did not think I could do again.
Blonde you have a few weeks on me and you sound so confident. Everyone is so inspirational. Thanks for being here.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Herbie -

Did you buy the whole set of Hypnos or just the sleep?

Reason I ask - the Sleep and the Daytime Subliminals are both meant to trigger post-hypnotic suggestion. They will work on their own as they have their own cues just outside the range of your normal hearing but in the range of subconscious hearing - they just take longer on their own.

James - the hypnotist -gives a recommended program if you have all 4 - but says you can modify.

Since I went to a Hypnotist with an MS in Family Therapy for a Course in Stress Reduction using hypno CD/MP3's in 2009 - I have developed quite the library. Once I knew I could get put under - weird truth - the stronger the personality - the easier it is to go under - you just have to really desire to rewire the brain.

Anyway - I was using his MWO modding Hynpnos - and personally got better success if I created two different sleep playlists for the iPod. 1 had both Clearing recordings and then several repeats of the sleep learning to carry me through a whole night. List 2 had the Hypnotic followed by multiple sleep learnings behind it. That way I was getting the embedded cues - immediately followed by a whole night of cue triggers.

I got MUCH faster, better results. But everyone is different. Also - you put me "under" - and I go right to sleep from there. The sleep learning hypno just keeps me asleep. Since my sleep patterns were so screwed up from the AL - wake up panicking at 3 AM about what had I done, need water, need sugar, need food, need to use the potty, and then nap until alarm went off.

His version is more expensive at his website than here at MWO but he tosses in an extra daytime subliminal so is you are not digging listening to ocean sounds all day (and I was not) I ordered my first and third set from him. And he's got such a huge library of what you can add your day time subliminals to if you are willing to buy extras - I loved it. If I want to reinforced all my cues not to drink during the day before my triggers hit - then I need music I want to actually play to trigger them.

I gulp. There are less expensive anti-drinking Hypno's on the web. Trust me. I've have bought several less expensive systems. Guess what - they slowed it down. Some. I should have just saved all that money and just done this one straight off. By the time I bought all the cheaper ones - I spent more than I custom 4 step that covers not just the abs but my triggers...

Oh well - live and learn. And the less expensive ones work great for smaller problems. I have a friend who had confidence issues after a bad break up - talked her into using a coupon I had for one guy I do think is good even if his AL script doesn't work..she put it on repeat all night while she slept. End of week one - noticeably more cheerful. End of week three - she signed up for a dating site and is feeling all that and a bag of chips. After a jack a$$ who took tons of money for her and broke her will.

So - ask me if I am a believer - I am - for certain problems. I get a fit of the giggles at the catalogs. Really - penis enlargement? Bwahahaha. Mentally willing away unwanted facial hair? Hahahaha. I have limits on where I'll buy success. But for behavior or attitude modification? Absolutely.

I know - I just wrote war and peace from a smart phone on the topic - hence the horrific spelling. BUT here is why - with AL we are all in a fight for our lives - literally.

Look around you...

If you have children - what do they see/feel when you are dancing with the Alien? Is that what you want, really?

Your SO - husband, wife, partner - whatever. Some of them enable, some are at the end of the line. Fo you want to wake up to an empty bed - with nothing of them but the lingering smell of them on the sheets because they couldn't watch this anymore?

The house you are in is paid for by a job you need or a spouse whose support you need. Both of which AL can damage.

Look in the mirror. Is that the "you" you always wanted to be? When you were 8 did you think I would like to wake up in the morning swimming in self disgust- hoping no one has left me? I don't think so.

So - we are fighting for our lives. Not just our livers to stay alive - but truly our lives - the reasons we get up in the morning. I don't care what weapons you use in your arsenal to fight the alien - I just think we should be open to any and all that give us a real chance at changing the outcome.

Dissertation finished. You may all give thanks now. Rolls eyes.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

I am here alone with the cat so today is going to be LONG

PF, this defines a perfect day for me.

Day 13 here - sending everyone peace and strength.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted, great job on your 13 days. You were the first to reply to my first post, so thank you again.

I was wondering if you could recommend a book on meditation. I don't need alot of Dharma (have tons of that in other titles), just looking for a simple nuts/bolts guide to meditation; i.e. something that teaches the technique.

I am enjoying a clear and wonderful day 16 AF. Thoughts and wishes to all of you.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted....Day 13 was a big day for me....it was the day I realized this is something i COULD do...it was a turning point for me. The struggle eased a great deal, and I began to accept that being AF wasn't a sentence, but a choice I was making...and glad of it. I hope you find D13 to be as good as I did.
PF, one of the big advantages of being on a forum like this is it gives you ability to go back and read your own words. If I may suggest, you write down your post #15,456 as My Reasons to Stay Sober, or some such title. And next time you have a weak moment, go back and read your very own words. Sometimes they resonate when no one else's do. Stay the course, is my advice. Do not cave in no matter what. You will never regret it.
Just my 2 cents today. And I'm good for about a dollar, so there's more! eheheh. Hope everyone is having a peaceful day in your head. Luv, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Pinecone! Congrats on your 16 days Free O the Beast!!! NICE!!! Two things to be aware of as you are heading in on 30 days....these are the 2 OTHER beasts that are going to pop up. The first one is MOOD SWINGS! Lord Haf Mercy...one minute you'll be on top of your game and the next ready to drink a box of wine! Ride it out!!! And the second Beast is the Self Pity!! This one will get you in a hurry if you don't recognize it for what it is!! Just know it's coming and thumb your nose at it...because, you know what??? Everyone else ISN'T drinking...and everyone else DOES have the problems you do and the stress you do and fill in the blank as to why we think others get to drink and we don't. Forewarned is forearmed, I say....if you know they are coming you can be ready. Don't give in no matter what....Deal?? XO, Byrdie

[nollie]

Newbies Nest

I'm based in France where homeopaths are pretty widely available. The one I used before was in the UK but he taught worldwide and he runs phone & video consultations (or at least he used to, we've been over here a fair while now). I'll see if I can dig his contact details out for you, he was brilliant.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi all, and happy sober Sunday!

PF, I'm glad I'm here too.:H And Likewise I am glad such kind and insightful spirits like you are here also. I never log off this site without feeling like I just uncovered a gold nugget or two. I just wish I could give back 1/10 of what I receive here.

PF let me know if you find out anything else about homeopathic anxiety remedies. I did a little research to see if I can take GABA with zoloft, and apparently it is OK. I am not crazy about being on the zoloft, but was in such a dark place recently I had to do something.

Nollie, I am not aware of many homeopaths in my area of the US. I may see a traditional chinese medicine guy for help and acupuncture. A friend sees him for other things and thinks he is great.

Been out gardening today (or actually de-gardening), as the weather is beautiful. It all made me regret how I could have done much more with my gardens this year had I not been hungover so often.

I forgot to mention another small victory. Seems like visiting my parents' is always a trigger for me. They are not big drinkers, but I know where they keep the liquor, and usually would pound a shot or 2 right out of a bottle when nobody was looking. I really enjoyed having a conversation with my mother yesterday that I can remember. She may be showing signs of early Alzheimers or dementia, so who knows how long we will be able to have such conversations.

Keep it going everyone!