Newbies Nest

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Byrd!

I have written down the posts as I'm sure many others will.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Day 15 for me everyone. Byrdie, thanks for these numbers. Best to all!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

i hope it's ok--i'm just signing on and writing, without having read any of todays posts, hoping it will help to get me through the next couple of hours.

i have 2 sweet girls i'm trying to feed, bathe and get into bed and i feel panicked. i can't concentrate on them or anything else. i managed to get home without buying anything. i feel so stressed.

i know it's all in my mind--like was recently written, one sip of wine can't possibly have any immediate physical effect--it has to be in the mind. and i have to find a substitute.
but i'm at a loss at the moment.

[Martie]

Newbies Nest

Windy, I was just going back a few pages to catch up and try to get to know people. Well put on how we feel for our kids. I have two teenagers and it seems like the issues only get more intense the older they get. Sure we're not changing diapers and hovering after them like mama chicks anymore to make sure they are safe. It's just different and you want to do whatever you can to make their life happy.

I have an autistic teenager and am starting to deal with issues like what kind of job if any he might be able to do, is there anywhere he can possibly live as an adult where he has a chance to be happy and will be loved, If there even is a place, how can we possibly afford it etc. Its really overwhelming and a big reason for me to want to numb the feelings out. However, this stage in both my children's lives is so crucial that I don't think the autistic one stands a good chance in life if I continue on my 25 year path of destruction. He needs and deserves a mom who is in top form ready to help him through his transitions in life through adulthood.





Anyway, didn't mean to get long winded about this topic but your post really struck a chord

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Martie,

Long winded...Ha! you? Remember my name is "windy".

Your response to my post has me in tears (almost). We care so much about our kids and want so much for them to have happy, essential lives -- it is so hard to see them struggle. You're right, he needs and deserves the best from you, but it can be so hard giving all of ourselves all the time. I hope you remember to take some time for yourself. My friend was just telling me today that it is so important to do that especially when our kids are teenager, because their issues can be so exhausting. And exhaustion leads to the deadly devil himself: AL.

I have to say that since I have been sober for awhile, I am a much better Mom. I have much more patience and I truly enjoy their company more. The difference in night and day. Keep up the good work, you will not be sorry.

Unwasted -- DAY 15 is great....keep going. How are you feeling after two weeks?

Lifechange -- You do whatever you need to do. We want to hear as much about you as you are willing to share. One of the things I really enjoy sipping on at the moment is herbal tea of any kind, but especially something with citrus or pomegranate in it. Sometimes I mix iced herbal tea with lemonade and lots of ice. Sometimes after dinner I will settle down and have a cup of Sleepy Time tea with liquid valiarin root in it. Helps to calm me down. There are so many good solutions for replacement sips. You will find it, and when you do, please let us know.

Take care and it is really great getting to know you better. Keep posting. It is amazing how much we all have in common here.

I do feel a lot better today:thanks:... ...Funny -- some days are just better than others -- such is LIFE. Special Hellos to Lola and Byrdie...

ta ta for now

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

What a difference a day makes. Like you Daisy, i have more AF free days in 2011 thank drinking days - but I saw the writing on the wall, and how easy it was to get back into bad habits.
Did not drink last night - was in bed by 8pm to avoid the calling!!! Got up and went to gym at 5:30, and feel a whole lot better today!!!
Onwards and Upwards - and really big goals for 2012 - i turn 50 in 2012 and it is the year that i will really start living - my divorce should be final, hopefully I will be winning with teh tax man - nothing much can be worse than this year, and i hope to be able to enjoy it with a clear head!!!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I wish they had a polling thing on here like they do on FaceBook. I would be really interested to see how many members on here have tried to moderate (prolly ALL) and how many actually succeed (prolly none). There may be something like that on here, I just haven't seen it. I am amazed at the tenacity of AL...just absolutely amazed...and it scares the hello out of me! Please don't blast me about the moderation thing..God knows I TRIED...just MY opinion. Hugs to all....Byrdie

[mya]

Newbies Nest

Byrd - I have tried and doesn't work for me.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Byrlady, that was my experience with trying to moderate too. For me, it was just an excuse to keep slipping up all the while telling myself that I was "trying" to do something. In my heart, I knew it would never work.

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Windy, I'm feeling great, really. The sleep I get now is truly remarkable. What I'm starting to realize is that even when I wasn't hungover, I NEVER felt like I do now - that's something I didn't understand when I was drinking. It makes me feel like I would have given myself cancer or something if I had kept drinking! Seriously! I'm not just being dramatic -- I had no idea how alcohol was affecting me even when I thought I was having a good day!

Now I'm just trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life! LOL

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

i am very happy to say that i made it through day 5!!
lots of you have said that day 7 is a turning point and i am sure hoping so.

windy, i am on my 3rd liter of herbal tea! i'm sure i'll be up the whole night. will look for some supplements tommorow. valarium root? and what is GABA? i've heard it mentioned often.

i managed to shut down the computer and give the attention to my kids.
MWO is my temporary(?) addiction. i'm not a computer person at all and am schocked that i can sit here for hours on end reading all of your posts.

i went back (thanks for the numbers, byrdie) and started around 12800 and just read. so much great experience and wisdom.

lavande wrote about changing thoughts of deprivation into thoughts of gratitude. that is exactly what i am trying to do now.
to make lists of how much better and more fulfilling my life is without drinking.

and to make a plan-- especially for the next month and for specific situations that i may not know how to handle.
i am flying back to the states next week for a month to visit my family and am very concerned about spending time with my dad, who is a functioning alcoholic (though he may not admit it) and one of my best wine drinking buddies. we are very close and have a relationship outside of drinking, but i have to say both of our limits have hit the sky these past years and it's a lot of what we spend time together doing. we are staying with my mom (they're divorced) who is a recovering alcoholic and knows that i've stopped-- but i need a plan and now for dealing with my dad.
so a long story already long.

being here is amazing and i am very GRATEFUL!!

i'm starting to remember names.
slowly, slowly the names are coming together with the stories.

thank you steady hands for your thoughtful post a couple of days ago.

a wonderful rest of a sober tuesday for all of you still awake.

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Hi Lifechange.

Good news that you reached day 5. Yes it does seem to get easier after that, but beware because that is when the little monster is at his most dangerous !

I'm glad that you have a plan. That is the only way through this I am sure. I really think that if you talk to your dad before your visit, you may be surprised how helpful he might be. You never know, he may even cut down for your visit ?

Someone made a really good contribution last week ( whoever it was, please take the credit) and that is to plan the outcome of a situation before it actually happens. IN other words, if you are going out with a group of boozy friends for an evening, plan to see yourself absolutely sober at the end of the evening and imagine how good you will feel the following morning when you wake up with a clear head and no regrets.

I have to go to a Christmas party this Saturday evening. Already I have planned to look at my best and to wear best smart cloths. I intend to drive there and then drive home afterwards. I have promised myself to be happy all evening, socialise with as many people as possible, aske lots of questions about them and their families and then do lots of dancing. None of that has been me for the last ten years, preferring to stay home, brood and drink. However at the worst it will only last five hours, so nothing lost. Good luck with it all and let me know what you think of the plan.

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nest. I hope everyone is having a great Tuesday.

Lifechange, I saw a Video that really clicked for me about my addiction. It might help you too - it's called "Pleasure Unwoven: An explanation for the Brain Disease of Addiction". It explains that there really is a physical reason that our brains still want the Alcohol even though we know it's bad for us. When addiction sets in, it affects the same part of the brain that drives us to eat, breathe etc., and effectively that pathway needs to be starved in order to disappear or recover back to normal brain chemistry. However during the time you try to starve it out - your brain is still telling you you need Alcohol (or any other addictive substance) as much as food or water to survive.

Anyway, it really made sense to me and helped me to realize this is a physical as well as a mental addiction. Even though I'm not physically addicted in the sense of withdrawal, my brain is telling me on some level I need this AL to survive and will for some time. I need to ignore this and know that at some point it will go away and my brain will return to normal.

I hope this helps. :l

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!
Just a quick one as I want to read Jason Vale.
Welcome newbies!
Hope everyone is doing well and I shall be back tomorrow. AF day9 DONE!
MinStar

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nestlings! Just stopping by to see how everyone is doing, and things look good here. Day 2 of Round 2 has been good. I have been feeling like getting out and getting things done, now that AL isn't bringing me down nearly every day. Therefore I am not getting online as much as I was when I was feeling down and lousy. I know I still need ya'all, and love seeing how well everyone else is doing.

You nest Mums are doing a tremendous job! I have to walk Fido, help w/homework and get everyone to bed, so good nite to all.
XOXOXO