Newbies Nest

[AGUYFROMNC]

Newbies Nest

I find the days I have with nothing to do , without AL All i keep thinking about is the things Ive said and done in the past , even a song will trigger bad thoughts and therefore it triggers me to drink. I had received ativan in the past to help with this but it never worked for me. AL would take all these thoughts away, can anyone relate and what did you do?

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Guy, yes I can relate. I learned to mediate which is helping.

Byrd, thanks for the advice - you are a tremendous help on this thread. Wise words, always - you and Lav and even the newbies. Also, I want to chime in about baking. I've been doing that - and cooking. I find it theraputic and obviously a help with the sweet cravings. I don't fight it either Byrd. I read recently that people who deny themselves treats actually have a harder time with weight. I eat quite a few sweets, but try to stick to home made and I don't have a weight problem. I know everyone doesn't have time, but when you do it's a lifesaver on many levels!

Sending everyone peace and strength.:l

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

To BlondeAFAmbition: congratulations! I always appreciate your posts.

Byrdlady, I can relate to the 2nd half of the first 30 being challenging in a different way from the first half. It is a very positive experience though. I feel like learning from all the collected wisdom here is just ammunition for me. I bought my own ticket, so I get to ride this ride. Day 19 AF for me here. I want to accept the challenges as they come, because I am already seeing that it is so worth it.

AguyfromMNC, there are alot of good posts here about the importance of having a plan. I'm no expert, but it seems to me that just quitting drinking alone is not enough for most people. Distraction, excercise, meditation and other things that become more of a lifestyle change seem to help. You bring up an important issue of how to deal with your past. For me, remembering it is important, it feels like part of the "work" I have to do on myself. I also have this feeling in my head that dwelling on it will just lead to self pity and I don't want to go there. So maybe it is some kind of balance? Like I said, I'm just trying to figure this thing out too.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Guy...Hey, I'm from North Carolina too!
I am not the best person to ask about meds...I did my quit without any, only because I didn't want my hubs to see the charges on my card (admitting I had a problem) so I turned to distraction. I spent ALOT of time on here, too. Break your usual routines...I didn't want to treat a substance problem with a substance, as I was afraid I'd get hooked on that too!! If you can get yourself a couple/three good days under your belt...you have a solid foundation to build on. I listened to the advice on here and drank lots of water...resulting in a lot of bathroom visits and all into the night. Learning curve there. But if you break it down and really think about it, you only have a couple of REALLY bad hours to get thru, if you were like me. 5-7 was the worst. So put yourself on a task. Make a nice dinner or start a project you've been thinking about. Clean out that nasty drawer in the kitchen that is overflowing! DO something. I mean physically DO something. Anything to occupy your mind. Because right now, your mind is what you are overcoming...When you get a drinking thought, STOP it, say NO, HELL, NO!! Think of the 7 Dwarfs, or Dwarves...google whether it's dwarfs or dwarves...go look up the lifespan of the housefly and tell me what it says? How do you get rid of those pesky fruitflies? Occupy yourself and you will be surprised. In the beginning your mind is what you must get control over. The rest falls into place.
I'm from over by the coast of NC....whereabouts are you??? Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

P.S. The nest didn't used to be so full! Used to be me and Lav and a couple others...I am thrilled to see people contributing! It all helps! B

[AGUYFROMNC]

Newbies Nest

Thanks for the great advice, really some good stuff to really think about.. I am going to put that advice to good use. I know its hard right now with the withdrawls. But this board just reading the posts I am getting through glad I found it.
I am from the Raleigh area.

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Evening everyone- Wooohhhh this board moves. Just a hello as I end day 9
Guy- I have changed my routine around my witching hour. I try and ensure I have something to eat. Really helps me and something I got off the posts' here. I have a glass of water or juice or tea with me and I am normally doing something- prior to MWO I would be racing to get my baby to sleep. Now I take my time and before I know it my witching hour has passed.

At the moment- I look forward to reading- Reading Jason Vale, but also got a book from the Library on Tuesday! Yup Library! I have in the past done things like painting, crocheting, knitting and I love love love Yoga. But to be honest by 7-7.30 post dinner I am not in the mood for yoga
I hope today has got easier for you. It will get easier Listen to the wise ones here!

AFM- not a bad day- managed to get in the car- have not driven in decades (mixture of not having a car and not really wanting to) And felt all liberated. Thought as I was out and about 'i would have been too hungover to do this in the past'
I am so so grateful every morning when I wake up hungover free and albeit still bleary eyed (mostly due to staying on here or reading Jason Vale into the early hours)
Most of all I am grateful to wake up next to my gorgeous baby and snuggle away. I feel so much more calmer and appreciate my time with her so much more!
B?$%cks to AL I say for ruining the past! And here's to the future.

Not really had much thought about what will happen over the holidays. I spoke to a dear friend about not drinking and she said 'well detox now but have a drink at christmas!' She really is a dear friend and I think she would be mortified if she knew how much I was drinking and how I needed to stop! Weird as I am really doing this on my own. Other than you guys on here I have not told a soul how much I really was drinking, the bottles I was hiding, the 'walks' I would go on WITH MY CHILD and get alcohol for the evening. The secrecy and anxiety is a nightmare.

Right- this was supposed to be a short one...oops

Night night to those ready for bed and safe day for those that are about.

oh and Lilla- so sorry you had no-one around when you came on. I am normally on around then? Where are you living? I am in the UK- PM me if you need to next time ok!

MinStar

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

AGUYFROMNC;1217930 wrote: I find the days I have with nothing to do , without AL All i keep thinking about is the things Ive said and done in the past , even a song will trigger bad thoughts and therefore it triggers me to drink. I had received ativan in the past to help with this but it never worked for me. AL would take all these thoughts away, can anyone relate and what did you do?

Guy, I definitely felt like that at first when I started my 30 days AF, and especially while I was still drinking. This past summer especially, there were some episodes that I really wish hadn't happened and would wake up fretting for hours about them. And yes, there were songs I couldn't listen to and places I couldn't go to as they brought in bad memories. But being able to stop drinking, and working at it, has so increased my self confidence. Since I feel better about myself now, I can let go of those bad feelings and now move forward. I WILL NOT put myself in the position to live out episodes like that EVER AGAIN. And I MEAN IT!

However, even though I quit beating myself up about things like that, I do think it is very important not to forget the kinds of things most of us have done in the past while drinking. For me, it is a very powerful deterrent not to go back in to that rabbit hole.

So, I guess what I am saying is this: We can't change the past, so don't beat yourself up for it (especially to the extent of letting it bring AL back into the picture). However, the past is there for us to learn from, and it can be one of the best teachers.

You can go to the thread "you know you are an alcoholic when..." and see that we all have done many things that we regret. You are not alone...stay with us!:l

[AGUYFROMNC]

Newbies Nest

Thanks Belle , I think I rocked the boat a bit. I posted in that thread, I could not get past the
2nd page so I posted how I felt.. But yes I bet theres many stuff i should look at in that thread just dont feel like since i am still going through withdrawls i should read it, but personally i have received many messages through my private mail that has benefited me. This board has been so hopeful. I had to quit cold turkey. Can not go to detox been there done that.
This board is great and i leave it on my computer when i have the time since it helps so much!

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

Today half way through my Day 9 I was conversing with a friend by text. Our conversation took many different routes, and I got to the point about the Holiday Season, which by the way I have found depressing for years. I mentioned it, and instead of asking why, he said alcohol works. I responded I quit. So instead of making a good comment he tried to be funny and made a comment about another addictive drug. Why are people so stupid when it comes to drugs of any kind even in jest. Now no one knows about my dependance with AL, but in my mind it does not excuse stupidity.
Byrdlady, you are so right about the water, I have a glass with me at all times, and boy does it interup your sleep. When I walk my dog she is always stopping to go, and I ask her "How many times do you have to stop?" If she could talk, she would turn and say "Like Your are one to talk!"
I feel I am like a locomotive, I am going in one direction, and it is one way. That is to be AF.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters

I just wanted to jump in & mention something here -

The best way to stop beating yourself up & obssessing about what you did when you were drunk is to forgive yourself! The past is history, you can't change it now!
A book called 'Radical Forgiveness' by Colin Tipping was recommended to be & it has helped me with so much. Go look at the website: Forgiveness at Radical Forgiveness.com

Keep up the great work everyone

Lav

[lilla]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone, have just spent an enjoyable quick ten minutes catching up on the overnight posts with my cup of tea and feeling soooooo good I got through last night and have woken up with a lovely clear head and sense of achievement

Min, yes I am in Aus, in the West, so about 7 hours ahead of UK I think. We are three hours behind Sydney and Melbourne here so not even on the same "witching" hour time as the rest of Aus.

That book looks interesting Lav, I try not to think of all the cringe times and situations but I do have some serious repairing to start doing regarding family relationships and friendships.

Well, must dash now for work, will check in later, have a great evening everyone.

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters!!!

Entering my day 2 AF (only!!!!!) but feeling better..Yestarday did a lot for recovery - yoga, readings, lots of water, probably exagereted with detox supplements - my stomach felt wierd..
After 6 days finally got my contactleanses and feel so happy that i can see the world again...i felt like i'm locked in a house and with my drinking boyfriend it was really depressive..
To live together with another alchoholic is vary hard and you need double strength..like 2 days ago i tried all day to recover, he went home with a red wine...i was so angry to him..
Yestarday he didn' t drink too and he promised not to drink today..
Finally will go out today, got some other invitation for exibition opening tonight.
Spoke with my lovely daughter this morning on skype and she' s a the most important reason for me not to drink..
Waiting for answer from immigration department about visa extension..i hope that i' ll get it and i don' t have to leave Australia before Christmas:upset: and my daughter can come here for a Christmas...very nervous about it..and it will be mine and my boyfriend' s fault because when we drink we postpone many things or just ignore them..
Now - everything we have to do on last minute....

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi All!

Thank you for all of your wishes on my 30 days...the "official" 30 days is tomorrow but I'll take my hat now Brydie so I can find an outfit to match for tomorrow! As for contributing on here, I also feel that it is my turn to give back, and it's something I really enjoying doing. Not that I am an expert in the least and even today had to overcome some strong urges to drink (my trigger...it was 5PM and I was decorating the Christmas tree. In the past, that meant have a drink and trim the tree). So I recognize the trigger and went for selzer water instead. Also, just stuffed myself with a grilled shrimp over a salad and now and not feeling the least bit in the mood to drink. Anyway, if anything I say at all helps just one person here, that makes me feel great. Just as you have all helped me. Newbies and seniors alike and those of us inbetween

Lav, I would love to check out that book on forgiveness. I read Louise Hay and she is all about forgiveness also...lifting your load. Nobody's perfect.

Lilla, glad you are feeling good right now. Sounds like morning for you...night for me. Will be heading to bed in a few hours after I play catch up on some reading.

Have a lovely day/evening nesters wherever you may be in the world. So nice to have such a full nest this week!

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Witching hour coming on strong - must succeed, must succeed, must succeed!! will finish day 3 strong....4:11pm, and feeling the calling.......cold and windy - really windy, want to stay warm and safe...funny how those feelings can associate with poison!!