Newbies Nest

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Day 21

Good day Nesters

I had a difficult 2 days. Very tired and cry a lot. Emotional and bite off everybody?s? heads that dares to irritate me a bit. Felt better after I read that Byrdlady says D13-30 is a roller coaster?IT IS!!

I am also getting anxious to go on holiday with my ex. Can relate to what Andrew says about past drunken behavior. A while ago I strongly felt that I will say whatever I am comfortable with, but sometimes it feels that it doesn?t matter what I say everybody will know I am just covering up an addiction!! I feel vulnerable and exposed and that people can?t wait to hurt me! Stupid! But that?s how I feel now.

I don?t crave AL that much or think about drinking it. But I do get furious when I imagine people pushing me to drink ? like I know my ex?s father would. He has a drinking problem himself and always encourages people to drink. It worked great in the past?and he liked me (too much!! ? very shameful behavior!! ) for getting drunk! I don?t know how this holiday will turn out. My ex can easily see my not drinking as being ?difficult?.

Audrey ? With the above said ? I don?t know how you go AF with an alcoholic. Or I do know! I did that too and relapsed every time. This time I asked him to leave. I sometimes wonder if we should get back together, but every time I see him and he reeks of it I want to explode! Thought that if he attempts to get back together I would ask him to quit smoking and drinking, because I never want to be dragged down in life this way. Your comment on how you procrastinate when you drink really got to me! That is so true!!

Lilla ? Hope your L-glut kicked in and you?re doing fine. I am a bit sad to realize that this damaged body of mine need some time to be healthy again.

Martie and Guy ? hang in there! The bit just before starting and the first few days are scary!!

Life Change ? I started with callanetics 2 days ago and my whole body aches ? every single muscle, but I like the pain in a good way. I have a clear picture in my mind what I want to look like.

Irie ? liked your description of ?natural high?!

MinStar ? Good going on almost day 10?

Dreams ? I am with you. Very soon after going AF on MWO I decided that I want it forever!

Windy ? I agree. Where did 30 days come from? And it is NOT enough. I once listened to a celebrity that said it took 4 years before she could see wine for what it is and drink normally. But I don?t even want to try that!

Blond ? Congrats on 30days! You worked hard and with a great attitude!

SH

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

Good morning everyone...I am just checking in. Made it to day 3. Got through last night.

Life--good for you for going to the track.

do you know I drove to the pool last night and came up with some dumb excuse not to get in the pool just then and drove right out of the parking lot and was a half mail down the street and said to myself turn around and go BACK to the pool. The excuse can wait. I went back to the pool, and on the way to the water ran into a couple old friends I hadn't seen summer due to my isolation from AL with the excuse of caring for a sick aging best friend (my dog). I could have taken care of him without the AL. I used to exercise all the time punishing myself bc I knew I would drink that night. But as he got sicker and I couldn't run him for 3 miles, then even walk him for a 1/2 mile. Well it was slow, slippery sliding slope, till I was no longer doing anything but taking care of him.

And deep in the back of my mind, when I remembered how hard I worked out, I wondered how much more and better i could do if I wasn't drinking. How much the drinking held me back. And WHY couldn't I put the energy I put into drinking into taking care of myself? I trained and ran a trail marathon while I was drinking. How did I do that? I was younger then and that helped, but that shouldn't matter now. I want to get back to there without getting injured. So I am starting out slow and pushing myself a little each night.

So tonight I might only take a neighborhood walk because I have to take my car to the shop. But if not, I'll be at the pool.

And you know what? The aches and pains I've been feeling in my legs? The struggle I was feeling to just lift myself out of a chair? Is gone. I am not feeling the stiffness anymore. With that little exercise.

Well I've gone on too long...I'm going to be late for work if I don't leave....have a good day everyone..mucho hugs and hang in there.

Piper

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Piper, I did 6 months of P90X while drinking! I was logging my food intake online to try to get appropriate ratios of protein, fat and carbs - and this is when I think I made the switch to vodka/water for drinking. It's ridiculous. Already, I have lost more weight in (wait, I gotta check) 67 days than I did in those 6 months - and just from cutting out alcohol...I guess that vodka wasn't watered down all that much...:no:

steady, my damaged body will still be taking plenty of time to heal...that I know. I wish I had more diligent about writing down what I went through to get here. I know that I had terrible joint aches especially in my hips - for several weeks and that wasn't until several weeks in. What I don't know is if it was just something that would happen anyway by detoxing - or if it was a vitamin or mineral that I was missing...I've been adding more of these and it probably wasn't until 30 days or after that I started making a strong effort to increase my body pH.

Prairie, it's funny you should ask. I've been careful about taking the calms forte and the nerve tonic (which are usually in my arsenal to help get a good night's sleep) - at the same time as the Natural Calm because I don't totally "get" the homeopathic ingredients but it looks like they may have magnesium in them and I don't want to over do.... plus I wanted to see what the natural calm did on its own. So I guess last night was the third night and I only took Natural Calm...and I really did sleep pretty much through the night until 5 AM (I think I got up to pee but went right back to sleep)...which is practically unheard of for me. Plus, I feel clear headed this morning...usually it takes me AWHILE to actually feel like the fog has lifted and that I can carry on a conversation. This may be due to the better sleep, but I do think that I "feel" the calms and nerve tonic to an extreme. When I take the nerve tonic...within 20 minutes, I can barely keep my eyes open...and maybe they linger a little into the morning? You would think that if I'm affected so extremely by them that I would sleep like a rock - but only occasionally do I sleep decent. So, I am going to continue taking the natural calm. I got the organic orange and don't mind the flavor...except, I'm not too into weird sweeteners and I'm not sure about the stevia. So there you have it. I am encouraged and will continue with it and let you know how it works. If I found the magic bullet that solves my sleep issues, it would truly be a miracle. Going AF has helped 90% - but I still have that 10% - I am absolutely flabbergasted by people who say they close their eyes and never wake until the alarm goes off....oh that must be heaven.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Morning everyone!

Well, I made it! 30 days today and I'll admit it was not easy! To those of you struggling in the early days...what helps me out and never letting myself get too hungry, following a low carb diet, keeping busy, logging time on here, replaceing AL with other non al drinks. Keeping a positive attitude. Making new AF friends, including those on here. I know now that I want to abstain completely. Modding doesn't work for me and to be honest, I'm just sick and tired of all the thought and energy that goes around trying to mod...whether I drink on this day or not, this holiday occasion or not and so on and so forth. You guys know what I mean. Why waste our energy on something that just doesn't work?

Belle, definitely get rid of any wine lurking around the house. Out of sight, out of mind. Get back on the horse and stick with us!

Scottish-Hope you went for a cup of tea and not a bottle last night...thinking of you. If I can do it, so can you! Keep strong!

Welcome Andrew! You have come to the right place. Best of luck to you!

Meanwhile, I gotta dash, but I will put on my 30 day hat and wear it proudly today!

A good day to all

[Martie]

Newbies Nest

Good morning, I am still reading past posts trying to get to know people and using this site as one of my tools. I am really moved at how supportive everyone is. I ran across a post elsewhere and saw that Lavande sent a gift to someone with cancer on this site. What a thoughtful way of reaching out, you really made her day.

Yesterday was my first AF day in over a month and I intend to keep it going. I had an appointment with our family therapist yesterday evening and my usual pattern is to start thinking about that first glass of wine half way through the appointment. The liquor store is right next door to the office so I usually buy one of those 4 packs of small wines. Then think about that wine the whole drive home. As soon as the car hits the garage I crack open a bottle before I get into the house. The other 3 bottles are usually finished within the hour.

This time at the appointment I thought about that wine, but remembered my resolve. I didn't buy any and listed to an inspirational cd on the way home. By the time I got home, I was fine. I did a few more chrores, read thru this site and went to bed grateful to have a night remembered clearly and a morning without regrets.

Reading and posting seems to be a key for me, thanks for eveRyone here. Hopefully someday I can provide a helpful ear.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Did not make it last night. I fought so hard the night before, and won, but last night I hardly had it in me to put up a fight at all. Bought a large bottle of wine and drank more than half of it after a stressful day at work.

So my streak ended with 5 days. I'm back on day one. The rest of the bottle has gone down the drain. I toyed with the idea of not confessing this morning, but that's not fair to you all, or even myself.

I'm doing what I can to put myself back in the frame of mind I was in before I bought that bottle. I"m pretty discouraged, but I'm hoping if I get right back on track it will start coming back to me.

No excuses. I should have fought harder last night. Putting that behind me for now and just moving forward. With a lot of hard work December 1st will be my last day 1.

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

morning all... got a busy day and have to jump in the shower and run... you all sound wonderful this morning... hope you all have a wonderful AF day

Looking forward to this evening to catch up

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Just a quick check-in to say good morning and thanks for the support and encouragement. Will be back later with more, but for now have to get the kiddos off to school and then a busy morning.

Also...Blonde, the 30 day hat looks great on you! Congrats!:goodjob: You wear it well.

See ya'all later.

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Oh, almost forgot I wanted to say congratulations on your 30 days, Blondie! How fantastic!

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

for Pete's sake...and after I just said I'm thinking clearly this morning.....

:cheering:Congratulations Blondie!!!!!!!! 30 days and going STRONG!!!!!!:cheering:

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Whoops - it's not Irie with the Hypnos but Herbie - my bad...

Congrats on some sleep LolaB!!!! Yay YOU!

Day 36 - and today I will be stronger than AL.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I was looking for something with a "30 day hat" and I found this....YOU with your new stove and a hat too! :H

:chef:

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Lolab....before I do any catching up on my reading, I wanted to say what an awesome job you did (11/26) when PF was having a rough patch. The way you went back to her first post...that was incredible. It was very emotional. I know it helped her, and it helped me too. Needless to say that post ranks right up there with some of the most powerful words I've ever seen on this site: Prarie's own. Well done....to both of you. B

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters,

Sleep remains a problem for me as well Lola but I do the best I can

Blondie CONGRATS ON YOUR 30 AF DAYS :yay:
I know you have worked hard & I'm proud of you! Remaining diligent is important as you re-invent your life!

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Thursday!

Lav

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Good morning friends!

Lavande, I wanted to say thank you for posting the link to the TODO Institute. That is a great resource and has alot of great reading on it. I will be spending some time on there as well as here!

A book I ordered on mindfulness meditation should be arriving today, and I am looking forward to reading it and starting my own meditation practice. That is something I had always wanted to do, and now I am!

Wishing everyone a great AF day.