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    Newbies Nest

    FreeFly, snuggle in next to me...I must keep an eye on you, you snuck out!
    Andrew, thinking of you today and wishing you strength. B
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      Newbies Nest

      I am struggling. The kids all came home for my birthday, but now they are fighting. They are all leaving tomorrow, and once again the house will be empty and I'll be thrown into loneliness. I am trying so hard to make it, I am five nights if I make it through tonight. But I feel like I want to scream or cry I just can't drink. If I do, I will be back where I started with the anxiety of putting my dog to sleep. I hate feeling this way....

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        Newbies Nest

        FF, good decision to come back to the nest

        SL, I am sorry to hear your news - that just plain sucks!
        Please don't get discouraged yet, something perfect just may pop up for you :l
        I could have used any number of reasons to start drinking again over the past three years but I keep choosing to not go that path again because II know where it leads.
        AF since 03/26/09
        NF since 05/19/09
        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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          Newbies Nest

          Hi Byrdie & Lav,

          Good to be back and thanks for the welcome. Loneliness was my trigger - so seems obvious to get on here and post when I feel like that, and not hit the bottle. Since I found this site, I feel worse both physically and emotionally when I drink than I ever did before (that could be because when I do venture there, I'm doing more than before! maybe scared of not having any anymore??!). Funny that - not sure if it's the accountability thing or if it's just a case of synchronicity when my time really is up on the whole AL thing and everything's conspiring to end the nonsense. Either way, I prefer sober, that's very much for sure.

          Hang in there Piper - loneliness can be a bummer but it won't last long for you. You're doing absolutely the right thing posting here. You can do it
          You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

          :lilangel:

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            Newbies Nest

            Just a quick one guys. Just got home from Christmas Party. Lots of booze around. Drove myself home as sober as a judge ! Had no desire for AL.

            Feeling on top of the world and thanking all my friends for their support ! Looking forward to waking up tomorrow.

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              Newbies Nest

              Timpin... I think you need to reward yourself with a COOKIE!!!! Wonderful wonderful

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                Newbies Nest

                SL sorry about having to move.. not uncommon in this economy to have your place pulled under you... but in a short sale you usually have a long time... it can take the bank up to 6 months to approve after an offer has been made .... If they are just starting the process you have time... even if an offer has been made you should have time... you will find a place for you and your girls and their little kitties

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                  Newbies Nest

                  Has anyone heard from Gregorino lately?

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                    Newbies Nest

                    Thanks for all the support - mightymite - i did actually think of military families when I was not sleeping last night, thanks for the reminder, and your personal experience. The realtor was very nice nad he did say he could look into a few leads he has on investors who are buying short sells and turning them into a rental - he said having an in-situ tenant would be good, so fingers crossed. And Herbie, he said the same thing, I would get lots of notice and it won't be happening for a while. so I will relax (a bit ) and enjoy Christmas instead of looking at the packing boxes (have not broken them down from last move :H)
                    The site is the best, the support is incredible - I get more support from peopel who do not know who I am (but do know my biggest secrets) than I do from those who know who I am (but not what I am) - strange world! :l:l:l:l
                    “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                      Newbies Nest

                      piper - we cross posted earlier!

                      I just want to say that lonliness was THE biggest drinking trigger for me.
                      Guess what? I am still lonely quite often but I don't drink - end of story! Keeping myself as busy as possible, learning new things, etc. takes the edge off, really. Go sign up for the 21 day meditation challenge on Emotional Healing Arts Meditation Workshops | Chopra.com
                      It's free, comforting, you have nothing to lose

                      SL, we are absolutely here to support one another through anything

                      timpin, good job!!

                      Hi Herbie & everyone!
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                        Newbies Nest

                        Some of you may know my story already been drinking heavy for the last year , up to a gallon of rum a day. I did drink before too but not as much for years.. This is my 4th day AF, Really i want to share this to anyone thinking of giving up alcahol, a good thing to do!
                        Here I am Day 4 . Still shaking, no appetetite, cant sleep, pasty skin from head to toe, coming out of my skin feeling. Just not worth it, not to mention the phyclogical withdrawls, stupid things ive done and said, feeling depressed and ashamed.
                        This board is good and will help, It has helped me, Thanks to all the great people on here , I am so glad I found this board.

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                          Newbies Nest

                          Lav...thank you for your post. I checked out the link and I don't think the 21 day challenge is free? Am I looking in the wrong place? Right now the girls are downstairs. We put up the lights outside, the tree and decorations inside and there is a fire in the fireplace and they are watching Harry Potter. I watched a little with them, but I'm exhausted from not being able to sleep at night and going full speed all day since I stopped. I've been having nightmares and night terrors about putting my dog to sleep and my shrink prescribed seroquel and after looking it up I found it's not to be used for sleep. It's a bipolar med. She thinks I have bipolar II but can't tell because I drink. I have been on antidepressants for the last 20 years and during a switch from one med to a generic med, I found that many of my symptoms I blamed on age and alcohol were actually from the medicine I was taking. I had severe night and day sweats and painful carpel tunnel. During the switch when I was barely on each drug both went away. Guess what else went away? The strong overwhelming craving for alcohol as soon as it was safe for me to drink. (meaning as soon as I was home from work and the kids were all fed and tucked in...not like that was safe....and there were many times I was woken up and had to take care of them in a foggy haze but some of you will know what I mean. Like putting your feet up = downing a bottle or two of wine.) But drinking had become a habit.

                          Well, now that I stopped drinking I guess she is trying the meds and they aren't working. Because I am lying awake with my eyes open all night. Yet I have dreams I remember.

                          I'm going to try to go cold turkey tonight. I tried the calms forte, but I had night terrors with it. I have had success before, so it might work for me but maybe it was too early for me to use them? I'm going to try nothing tonight.

                          AG -- glad you are posting and still working on being AF. You can be strong in this.

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                            Newbies Nest

                            AguyfromNC

                            You are doing really well and from your story, I think a lot of people probably don't realise what you are going through at present. Remember that you are going to feel like shit for a few more days, as the AL is still coming out of you. I had all of your symptoms for around six days before it got better for me. Keep it up and get those next few days behind you. Forget about tohse things you said before you gave up. That wasn't the real you talking !

                            Please please post on here again later today. Well done once again.

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                              Newbies Nest

                              Day 24

                              Good morning

                              FF - Soooo glad to hear from you!! I was at the point to ask if someone "saw" you on another thread!

                              SL - Good to hear that you are calm about your house situation.

                              Piper - Your kids sound quite young. I take care of mine for 3 or 4 days a week and it is at times very overwhelming when they start fighting. One is entering terrible twos!! I joined in throwing a tantrum the other day. Stamped my feet, waved my arms and screamed like I got paid for it! It didn't impress any off us! But I didn't drink!

                              :yay: Timpin!!

                              A Guy - Timpin is right. Not everybody understands what you are going through. I certainly don't. But I have so much more respect for you for hanging in there. Wishing you a better Sunday.

                              SH
                              12-20-2012 AF
                              Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.

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                                Newbies Nest

                                Good Morning Nesters, and welcome to the Newbies. Today is Day 13, I am almost half way to my goal of 30 Days AF. Heres hoping my mood is going to be better, will let you know later, still having my coffee. Tell me has anyone elses taste buds come back to life, mine has. I guess when you walk around with a pickled tongue things have to taste different.

                                A Guy, Congrats on your decision to be AF, and you Day 4. Wish I had no appetite, but I am sure it will level itself out, and yours will return. I also have trouble sleeping, alot of us do, am told to rest when we can and it will also fall back into place. Making the decision to be AF is a very difficult decision. We are giving up something that we thought was a friend, and brings our friends together for fun and laughs. Once the day is chosen to become AF, it is not any easier, but we follow our hearts for we know it is the right thing to do, but as days and weeks pass, it does get easier. I would drink a 2 litre bottle of wine a day, that is a big bottle. You will find alot of friends on this board who offer life experiences and great advice. Again congratulations on your decision to be AF and joining NN

                                Piper, I was on anti depressants after my Mom passed 4 years ago. There is not a day I do not miss her, and now I ask her if she is proud of me for being AF. Anyway what I wanted to say was, I was having reactions to the meds, I was hallucinating, and my body felt like I was hit by a Mac Truck. In the beginning I did have some nightmares, but the hallucinations were enough to scare the living S**T out of me. The Dr recently told me the meds can cause this and I went off them in April of this year, I still have some reactions, but not as many. He said it would take a long time for the meds to leave my system. Loneliness, what can any of us say, that it is a demon in itself. We find we talk to ourselves and think of conversations that have never happened. Sometimes we even wallow in selfpity, and pour that glass of AL. I know all about it. So far I have conquered the AL, sometimes the selfpity, but being alone is hard. I am trying to learn being alone does not have to result in loneliness. Your Dr should check all your meds to find if any of what you are going through can be caused by them. My best wishes, and hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

                                Timpin, Way to go, I knew you would do it, as well as everyone else.

                                SL, I also have to relocate, but this time my children are not with me, they all have lives of their own with children to tend to over the holidays. I live in a very small Southwestern Town in Ontario, any where from 1000 people right in the heart of the town to 2000 on the outskirts. Being as I was fired for making a mistake, I am basically black balled here. All the store owners know me from my past workplace. I know they will not hire me, "So why did you leave your last place of employment?" so forth and so on. I am not entitled to go back to school with Unemployment funding, and it will take forever to get my unemployment. All because they had an interior polictical thing going on, and I got caught in it. I would like to say my job loss had nothing to do with AL, like everyone else, I was so good at hiding how much I drank. So after all that, I must also move, except I am stuck in a lease till March, 2012. Right now I think of a saying something I wrote a while ago as a reply "IF LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, SQUIRT YOUR ENEMIES IN THE EYE!" It always makes me laugh, I do however have a warped sense of humour. I hope things work for you, and it does take a long while before you have to move. Good Luck on that

                                FF, I have read that Butt Velcro really works, so make sure you place it just right. I also know the feeling of waking and looking at the empty bottles. What I did was put them under the counter, or in the closet, or in the back bedroom. Now I look under the counter, what do I see, I move them. Then I go to the closet, same thing, I am digusted when I see all the money I drank. I am too afraid to add it all up. So keep that velcro tight, and let us know how you are doing.

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