Newbies Nest

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,

I just have a short story to tell that has me feeling a little perplexed. Last night I was out to dinner with my husband and youngest daughter at a favorite Italian restaurant. I thought this was a safe zone, as I have been out to dinner before and not given in. Last night was HARD. I had that "just one" thought real bad. I swear the glasses of wine and beer were 3 feet tall and moving and talking to me at the same time. The devil's work for sure. I didn't give in, but I was surprised how strong the urge was. One acknowledgement here for me also, is that a "normal" drinker probably never feels this compelled, pulled or conflicted. Normal drinkers do not crave like this.

Nothing sounded good to drink, so I ordered an AF beer (first time). That's how bad it was. Last night I had drinking dreams and they were terrible. They always leave me extremely confused, they are so real. I feel like I should not have these strong desires, but they are still there every once in a while. My point is, we have to remain in the game for a long time and never let our guard down. I will always struggle and be a "Newbie" I feel. But I always say "It could be worse". Maybe after a year, but realistically, this is going to take some serious time and effort. I am in the game and I don't loose!!

I guess I am still waking up and learning so much. It has been hard for me to admit I have an alcohol problem and always will. I want to become happier and not let this damned thing bother me so much; get rid of the bad drinking dreams and have them become: "Last night I had a drinking dream and it was great because I happily said Fu$k off and went dancing through the field of sunflowers holding my wonderful husbands hand as the sun went down". That's the dream I want the ones that make me feel good and confident in my resolve. I will get there and I hope everyone of you will too. I really do. So...I guess....my next effort needs to be to create some real happiness for myself. I will start with you guys....you make me happy...

Have a beautiful, HAPPY day all.

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good morning all.

Windy, I agree with your post - we can never let our guard down. I had one of the worst weeks of craving last month on a camping trip with my husband of all things! I didn't drink - but it seemed everywhere I turned someone at the camprground was bringing out a bottle of wine - I even went to ask the park ranger a question one evening and she was drinking a glass of wine! I can definitely relate to the 10-foot tall glass syndrome!

Anyway, this time I have had no real cravings so far. I have really worked on my mental attitude that drinking doesn't work for me and never will - so just don't go there. It seems to be helping so far - Day 8 today...

Lav - I really need to start on a meditation course - I will definitely look one up on your site. I also keep meaning to get started with Yoga. I really believe there is a strong mind-body connection here that will help with this process.

Hope everyone in the Nest has a wonderful AF Sunday!

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1220016 wrote:
Andrew, thinking of you today and wishing you strength. B

Well Byrdie, your good vibes must have reached me. Yesterday was taper day, filled with household chores, a huge order from the local pizza place and some exercise. I managed to drink hardly anything, with the help of some pills, mind, and went to bed and slept 9 hours. Cleared my schedule today and have spent the day eating. During a binge I hardly eat and I get sick and weak so I'm trying to get the energy levels up. I'm busy watching Rescue Me a lot too, as not only is it great but it's quite inspirational if you're an alcoholic, I find! Tonight I plan to get out and run a few miles. And hopefully that will be that. Next challenge is to stay sober.

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning, thought I would drop in again, it is a dreary morning here in South Western Ontario, but it is not snowing YEA>
Windy, about your dreams, I do not dream about alcohol, at least not yet. I do however dream I am smoking, I quit over 20 years ago. I wake up so afraid I caved. So I understand your dreams, and how difficult they can be. Hope you get that one you want holding your husbands hand in a field of flowers.

Mylife congrats on your Day 8, so far so good for me, no 10 foot glasses here.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Sunny around these part, at least for now!

The drinking/smoking dreams are annoying as hell but I think they do serve a purpose! Nothing like a sub-conscious reminder to stay away from all that stuff.
I think of them as little gratitude reminders

windy, it takes a while to break the associations we've had thruout our lifetime. Itailian food, glass of wine, yum, etc.

Andrew, glad to see you making progress!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day in the nest!
Lav

[AGUYFROMNC]

Newbies Nest

Thanks alot for your help in here.
Its Day 5 Had to make it through Saturday night, that was my usual get totally dumb night. As you all may know I was drinking up to a gallon of rumm a day, thats the biggest bottle you can buy i think anyways here in nc it is, Just sharing alot of this with the people who do want to quit. These AL withdrawl symptoms are nothing fun at all! I made it through Sat night with the help of some sleep meds and this board!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

AG - so happy you're able to start putting together some AF days. I hope you'll stick with it. Best to you.

Sending peace and strength to everyone today. Have a good AF Sunday.:l

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

everybody seems very strong right now.
fighting like crazy and holding in there.

for me, too it's really a fight and sometimes i don't know what to do with myself.
i'm moving around a lot. from reading to running to bathing to reading to drinking tea to watching a film.
last night it was very difficult --it helped very much, like always to read your posts.

i was wondering if you all have some advice. 2 things.
1st do you give alcohol as a gift? my BF wanted to buy a bottle of my dads fav spanish brandy (not avail. in the states) for me to take as a gift. i said no way. i don't want to support anyones drinking and i don't want to feel like i should have a drink of it with him. then the next day on the phone with my dad he asked, "hey if it's not too uch trouble, do you think you could bring a bottle of that delicious spanish brandy i love?"
so my BF bought it and it's packed away. i have no desire to drink and i decided i also don't want to be one of "those" non-drinkers.
i feel mixed about i. still haven't told my dad i'm not drinking and i will surely put it off to detox or just the fact that it hasn't been agreeing with me.

2nd thing. P fairy you talked about having told friends you were detoxing. what to say to people (including boy friend) who have no idea how much you were actually drinking? here my boy friend was very supportive of my stopping or cutting way back. but i think he sees it as temporary.- i think he's still hoping we'll be able to have the occasonal special bottle of wine.
i probably have to give in and give him the gory details so that he can understand.
??

i'm really proud of everyone . such progress and hard work.!

AG i'm so super proud of you for making it to day 5. i didn't have such major withdrawl symptoms and i'm so glad you are sticking around. and fighting this.

a wonderful sunday to you all.

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Guy

are you taking any supps? your body chemistry is messed up from the AL and the supps help... at least for me and you are so right coming on to this board anytime of the day or night helps so much.

I am starting day 25 AL.. I have faced down many triggers with the help of this site

I am still having sleep issues but seem to be getting better, but still not great

I have had days were I have been emotional ... been almost manic then depressed... from what I have read on here it is all part of the ride...

The one thing I know from my own experience and that of my fellow nesters, it gets better and better each day

You got through Sat night... a biggy... today will be better

To the rest of my fellow nesters have a great day AL free... housework for me today... but its ok as it is raining outside...

[Barbara1234]

Newbies Nest

AGUYFROMNC;1220379 wrote: Thanks alot for your help in here.
Its Day 5 Had to make it through Saturday night, that was my usual get totally dumb night. As you all may know I was drinking up to a gallon of rumm a day, thats the biggest bottle you can buy i think anyways here in nc it is, Just sharing alot of this with the people who do want to quit. These AL withdrawl symptoms are nothing fun at all! I made it through Sat night with the help of some sleep meds and this board!

Hi AGUY,

Congratulations on your progress, and making it through Sat. night. Have you tried L-Glut?
I use the powder form because it's less expensive than the pills, and gets into your bloodstream quickly. It helps me to cut out the sugar and carb cravings. I take one rounded teaspoon 3 x a day in water or juice. I am 6 months AF after drinking huge amounts of wine daily, then graduated to vodka. (Brilliant!)
This went on for years.

I also listen to hypnotherapy CD's available through MWO, but you can get them in various places. The most successful one for me is the sleep learning CD, which I fall asleep to every night. It has subliminal messages that play in a continuous loop throughout the night as I sleep with affirmations not to drink. For me, I had to reprogram my brain. I know it is different for everyone, these things work for me.
I know you will find your way as well. Keep up the good work! :goodjob:

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

Hi all

i have been having dreams about drinking too!!!

life change, yes tell your bf- he needs to understand.I think it fin to give AL as a gift esp, as you didnt have to actually go get it and your BF did. and esp. if the receipient doesnt have any AL issues.

Happy Sunday to eveyone in the nest youve all helped me soooooo much over this weekend which has been really hard. Monday morning here and a lovely sunny day 12. So glad I was able to get thru the weekend with your help

:thanks::thanks::thanks::thanks:

[windy]

Newbies Nest

From Lav --

windy, it takes a while to break the associations we've had thruout our lifetime. Itailian food, glass of wine, yum, etc.

Lav -- Exactly How long:nutso:???? I need to know.

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

well done AG - I have been reading your posts and you give me strength. If you can do this, then there is no earthly reason why I cannot. I have not had the withdrawl you have had, thank God! I have been a heavy drinker for many many years, so not sure why I got off so luckly, and I do count my blessings. You are an inspiration and there are so many peopel cheering you on from the sidelines.:goodjob:
Day 6 for me, and I am so ,ooking forward to waking up tomorrow in such a different place from last Monday - I have a ton going on in my life and drank even more, and used all the problems as an excuse to drink more and more, but I am getting myself in a place where I can maybe actually deal with them and have a truly great 2012!!

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

SH -- my kids will be 21 in February. But they are triplets so it has always been a continuous fight between them. I can't even explain it, it gets so complicated. If I weren't an only parent, and could provide all their needs, it might be easier? Who knows. Do you live in South Africa?

windy and dream -- I quit smoking 21 years ago and still have the occasional dream of smoking.

I made it through last night and only woke once. I am sort of excited to try again tonight with no meds or anything. First time I'll be going to work on MOnday morning without a head full of cotton.

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Piper

I quit smoking on 22nd August this year and have battled it for many years. If you put a cigarette and a drink in front of me I would take the cig every time. Somehow at the moment quitting the drink seems to be easier and I just can't explain why it is that I crave the cigarette more ?

Strange as it seems it wouldn't bother me too much if I cracked on the cigs but would be devastating if I crack on drink.