Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Finally out of the meetings and most everyone else went home. I grabbed a boxed lunch and took it to my room so now I am on my own! Got thru last night fine...it was strange tho, I think people know...but nobody said anything. It was odd. Not bad, but odd. I was standing with a guy in line to get a wine, and he told the bartender to fill it on up to the top, it'd save them both work later. That used to be me. Most of the people in that room have AL problems I think, myself included. Just glad I wasn't still tied to that dam bottle. I passed a huge test this week....pretty much the biggest I have...and I'm so proud of myself. The only thing now that can get me is complacency. As long as I come to this nest and gain strength, I don't see that happening. So grateful to be where I am today...almost 11 months sober....just unheard of. Strength to all today, I couldn't be happier at the success I'm seeing....Andrew, would love to hear from you...Everyone, doing so well!! Leaving tomorrow morning and will get home late ...but wanted to check in and let you know all is well.....and THANK YOU! xxoo, Byrdie

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Right here Byrdie. Just out of a hot shower after a 6k jog in what Accuweather gives as a "Realfeel" of -7 degrees celsius. Considering I did the same run about 10 days ago as a gasping, bloated mess, I didn't care what the temperature was, I felt so great.
Congrats on passing your big test! I never doubted you wouldn't get through it, mind you. Not for a second!
In work we've our Christmas party next week. A couple of my colleagues were discussing last years's and laughing about a guy who got so drunk after a bottle and a half of wine and could hardly stand. They were talking about it like it was a LOAD of wine for one person....and I'm sitting there thinking I pretty much drank that sitting at my desk last Friday, and the day before that, and the day before that.....

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I know what you mean Andrew...a bottle and a half of wine was all in a days work. (Amatuers!!) Well done on your frosty run! So proud of you and thanks for the vote of confidence...Congrats to all the 30 day clubbers...hope you picked up your hats on the way in!! Whether you've got 1 day or 1000 days, each day you kick AL's ass is a victory. Here's to us!!! *clink* Byrdie

[ronnie]

Newbies Nest

Morning all,

Sorry I have not been around lately but I have been really busy (whats new), I have just worked out how many days A/F I have built up and I am now on 61 days.....whoppy........ and to everyone that thinks they can not do this please believe me when I say it does get easier, nearly all of my trigger moments have disapeared and I have now got all of my respect back and people actually come up to me for chat now instead of running off in the opposite direction when they see me. But most of all my boys Love me and I am a propper mum to them now. And without this site and the wonerfull people on here who have given me words of encouragment there would of been no way I could of got this far. Stick with your goals and make them small ones in the beginning I started with 30 days then to 45 days and now I am on 61 days my next goal will be 80 days.
I hope you all have a wonderful day
xx

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!!

I see everybody is doing well and in a good mood.
My Day 5 starts with good news - my daughter got Australian visa and after 14 days she' ll be in my arms!!! Just one day before Christmas!!!

Blonde - i like your Christmas decoration!!! It gave me some inspiration with shells which i never used (i'm from Northern Europe, so we use different tools - winter plants, pinecons etc.). Now i'm in summer for Christmas and i have to find something different.

Mylife - thanks for suggestions!!!! The only problem is that my boyfriend is alchoholic too...He knows that i'm trying to quit..He thinks that he has less problems than me and he' s not convinced about abstinence.
Yestarday he didn' t drink but when we both quit AL we are both nervous!!! Actually when i was alone this 3 days i felt more balanced and calm..maybe i'm nut but i think that somehow he influences my aura..i tried to talk to him about it but it was useless..actually i was scared of myself because i tried all time yestarday to push him away and he got upset..i apologized and felt sorry..I'm scared that probably when i start beeing sober i start to analyze him and criticize which isn' t good..

Herbie - congrats on your 28 days!!!! Yes, i already wrote about my relationship...it' s quite complicated..
I wish you nice time in Monet exibition!! I saw his exibition 6 years ago in Zurich, in Switzerland. it was amazing...i like very much impressionists. Yes, art heels you and gives inspiration.

Australia - congrats on your 16 days!!! Ooh, i like your nickname too because for now Australia is my home in spite of feeling a bit like alien here

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

ronnie!!!

Congrats on your 61 days!!! Sounds awesome and as miracle for me now!!!

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Day four in the bag by the skin of my teeth! I was sooooo tempted today! Tonight is the second night I'm away from home for a meeting. Coming back to my hotel room tonight the cravings hit like crazy. Making it harder than usual was the thought that no one would even know if I settled in with a nice big (of course) bottle of wine.

Except me! I would know. And it turns out I couldn't bulls@$ myself myself that this would be the last time, or that I might as well just start over again on Monday. Nope, I couldn't do that to myself. I made a commitment to myself and I'm sticking to it.

So, I bought a can of soup and some microwave popcorn and am holing up in my room for the night. It's hard, I hate it, but I'm never going to get where I want if I keep giving in when it gets hard. Guy, I think of how much determination you have...if you can stick it out, so can I. Putting my faith in better days ahead.

Sorry for going on and on about myself, but I just had to get it out there. This was a big deal for me tonight. I feel like I've taken another step forward. I know a lot of you fought and won the same battle today...good for us!

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

aguy and irie -- you guys are doing awesome! If I make it tonight I'll be putting bead 10 on my hemp.

Tonight I took a swim conditioning class called "escape from Alcatraz"....OMG... I feel like I am going to die....It's all I can do to crawl into my bed. I pushed myself even further and ran 1/2 mile just to get the running started. It's going to take me awhile to work up to my usual mileage but I have to start somewhere. I'll do a week of 1/2 miles then bump it up to one mile for a couple weeks. And I'll keep swimming.

Off to bed good night nest buds

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Wow piper!
Have you ever been to Alcatraz? It's a hell of a swim! I took the boat ride
Congrats on your exercise routine.

A Guy & Andrew, you are both doing great & you both will be feeling better soon!

Byrdie, pat yourself on the back for me - OK?

Audrey, Irie, ronnie, Lola & everyone - great to see you!

I have had a very long, busy day but it was good & productive. Another great reason to remain AF!
Wishing everyone a safe night in the Nest!

Lav

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

Day 11. Just read a few of my last posts and they are so negative, even though the days are adding up, I am struggling hard - I am really taking from this site just now and look forward to when I can give back. Another long day at work, but I am thankful for work. I have to show my home (rental) to prospective buyers tomorrow as my landlord is loosing the house - I have bad thoughts of making it a mess so they won't want to buy it :H - don't think that will work thou.
Watching a new program on TV called DUI - ordinary folks in Arkansas who make mistakes - there but for the sake of God go I - a very sobering reminder as to just how lucky that I have been, and exactly what I need to do to ensure that I NEVER am in this position!
My girls come tomorrow for my week, that will adjust my attitude thats for sure, and maybe I will be better company here! looking forward to getting to week two.
Well done Byrd - I am taking your strenght with me - on Sunday we have cookies and carolling at the ranch where my girls ride, and the carolling has definately been helped by a liberation or two in years past - it will be cold and fun, and I WILL resist temptation!
Sleep well in the nest those who are in a similar time zone, and have a TGIF those who are starting the day.....

[danieru]

Newbies Nest

Hello My Way Out community! I'm a complete newbie here in the nest. : O

I'm no good at big opening speeches, so I'll just throw it all out here, lol. I'm Daniel! : ) I'm 26 and come from the USA. I've been living in Japan for the past 3 years...and man, since living here I sure have developed a bad habit. Drinking in the morning, drinking in secret in the bathroom ANYWHERE, drinking at work, having a social life that is centered on getting buzzed... yep, your typical closet alcoholic.

I've read a lot of your stories and comments, and am so encouraged, enlightened, informed, and entertained by what people say here! One thing that I've struggled with is not wanting to burden others with my problems, but finally I realize that a place like this is for those seeking help and wisdom. I know I have a problem, and it sure does feel great to admit and tell that to someone. Just typing this already feels therapeutic. : )

I feel like I could just go on and on and on with all that's running through my head but... I don't want to over-complicate this (or bore you!).

I can't consistently control my alcohol intake. What's almost worse is the feeling of guilt and helplessness that comes with that. I feel weak and inferior to other people who seem to be unaffected by alcohol and or other addictive substances/habits.

At the same time, I don't feel like giving up, and always want to try to control myself again after slipping up and drinking. I feel hopeful that I can grow stronger, learn from my mistakes, and can imagine a future where alcohol isn't such a big thing in my life.

Day 1
Today I was hungover from last night. Last night I met a girl and went on a very casual date. Of course I thought I needed to drink before meeting her so I would be more funny and interesting, and also to have courage. We had fun, but I can't imagine she didn't notice how much I love drinking. That's all I did the whole night I was with her! One thing that helps me is thinking about this - what decent girl wants to get into a serious relationship with a drunk? It must me rather unattractive. Also, do I really want to spend the rest of my life being a wimp, and not being man enough to even go on a date without drinking first?

Tomorrow night I've been invited to a house party in Tokyo. I know there will be pleeeeenty of booze flowing. I'm already worrying about what will happen. In my head, it seems like this titanic decision... to try and just have one drink, or to have none. I'll be thinking about it all tonight, and all until tomorrow night. Do you guys ever feel like that? It's ironic how something as silly as whether to or how much has become this big of an issue!!!

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters and welcome to Danieru! You have come to the right place and we are happy to have you pull up a twig in the nest! Consider yourself lucky that you are able to see the problem before it gets too late and you are so young too boot, you will not waste many years drinking AL like many of us here have done!

Minstar, it was so good to see you post. Well done on your 2 weeks! Keep it going girl! And a victory to be drinking water when sis was drinking wine!

Irie, another victory for you too. They keep adding up and only make us stronger! Well done!

Hi to Lolab, Lav, Windy, Belle, Herbie, Steady, Scottish Lass (great going on 11 days!), AguyfromNC (also, well done on going from a bottle of rum a day to sober!), MyLife, AndrewfromIreland, PF, and anyone I missed on rollcall today. Make it a great day and be good to yourself

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daniel. There will be many people who will follow me to welcome you, but reading your story made me think about something I wanted to pass on to you. I was about your age when I started worrying about, and trying to control, my drinking.

It's now 25 years later. There hasn't been a day where I didn't in one way or another try and make a bargain with myself about how much I could drink that day. My plans would generally allow me to drink that day, but were attached to some type of plan for slowing down in the future. And then, of course, the next day I would adjust my plan so I could drink that day, but not so much in the future. And on and on.

The very hard lesson I've learned is that I can't drink at all. If 25 years of trying to make it work and failing daily wasn't proof enough, then coming to this site and reading the stories of countless others with the exact same story finally was.

I've finally accepted that if I want my life back, it means I can't drink - ever. If you are drinking at work I suspect that you are going to be in the same category. In no way am I trying to tell you what to do... I completely recognize that strong desire to keep drinking, but in a moderate way. And for a very small percentage of drinkers, it works. But I've finally accepted that for me, it won't. It's early days for me, I'm only on day 5, but I know this is the path I have to take.

Anyway, welcome to you, and I hope you find what you are looking for here. It's an incredible place, with incredible people.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Hello & welcome Daniel! I'm glad you found the nest & decided to join us
You are wise to reach out for help while you are still so young. Obviously AL has a grip on you & you recognize that! Please be sure to download & read the MWO book from the Health store here on the site. It has a lot of good info for you. Before you go to the party take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html for ideas to help you make your plan. You really need to arm yourself with a good plan to fight this beast. Is there any way you can skip this party until you have some AF time under your belt? That is a decision you'll have to make for yourself.

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!
Lav

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

I agree with Blondie, daniel - so many of us wish we had this kind of support and also your wisdom to seek help at that age. And oh yeah, those thoughts are oh so familiar. I have no real desire to start drinking again but I expect to be in that situation (of being at a party and offered a drink and thinking "oh, one won't hurt) more than once this holiday season. I just do know from (LOTS OF) experience that trying to "limit" to one glass is just not possible. Even if I'm successful for that night it just starts the drinking cycle all over again for me...and before long, I'll be "closet drinking" again, too. I hope you're successful - you seem to have a very clear and mature way of looking at it.

Blondie, I forgot in my teenage angst filled day yesterday to tell you how beautiful your wreath is! And it's funny that you have a fascination with mermaids because that other avatar of yours reminded me of one. :-) well, actually now that I think of it, both of the ones of you did. I hope you?re feeling stronger every day?funny how those thoughts sometimes pop up and bite you in the butt - isn't it?

Scottish lass, you are doing so well ? and remember Byrdie?s words of wisdom ? to just make it to day 13 ? there are so many ups and downs in those early days, you have to try to ride out those ?downs? because those ?ups? are incredible and give you back so much pride in yourself.

Gosh, Piper ? you?re sure earning those beads the hard way! LOL! But whatever works?I hope you slept well.

Irie, in these early days you grab inspiration wherever you can find it?I agree ? Guy is definitely an inspiration. I?m proud of you for making it through another tough situation. Please remember, it gets easier ? it honestly does. I pinky swear. But really ? a can of soup? Maybe some Lindt chocolate truffles or a pint of Ben n Jerry?s would have been a little more satisfying?;-)

Wow, I just read your message to Daniel?that?s a very powerful post, Irie.

Audrey, you are in a tough situation ? just think how amazing you will feel if you stay sober for the next two weeks and after your daughter arrives?you will be feeling strong and clear headed and will be able to make it a very special Christmas?and you will remember every moment of it. :l