Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Ronnie, I was wondering about you, but see your name pop up on the party thread so haven?t gotten too worried?You are plugging along quietly and doing so amazingly well. I love what you said about getting your respect back and about being a proper mum to your boys. That?s what it?s all about isn?t it?

Byrdie, Byrdie ? you make it look so easy ? yet it only takes a moment for us to go back and read your posts from the beginning of the year when you were struggling ? to see that it isn?t easy ? but it is oh soooo possible. Thanks for being so strong and showing us all that?no situation is enough to warrant a return to that life ? you?ve been through many tests this year and have come out brilliantly. :h

Hi Andrew?.so what do you think? This is the time for you, isn?t it? You sound so confident. :goodjob:

Hey Lav, so what kind of party should we have on Dec 20th? I think we should have 1000 guests, have 1000 different kinds of cookies (or maybe bread?) and 1000 firecrackers go off.

Pinecone ? you snuck right in there! It seems like you just got here but you?re almost at 30 days ? wow!

And timpin, day 34? How did I miss your landmark 30 days? Great job!

Belle, I have to be honest. I was worried about you with your slips?and something early on just didn?t seem that you were completely sure about being AF?And being a fellow laundry room vodka swiller, well ? I could just really identify with you and wanted you to succeed?I?m so happy to see you feeling strong and saying that it is getting easier. :l

Guy, thank you so much for sharing your struggles?.alcohol is a problem for so many ? whether you are bothered by drinking two glasses of wine every night ? or two bottles every weekend, or secretly drinking vodka in the laundry room, or a gallon of rum a day?but there?s no question that with more amounts of stronger stuff, that the physical aspects of stopping must be much more difficult. Everybody?s pulling for you ? you?ve made it through the worst ? just always remember just how tough its been as motivation to never go back.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Herbie, Blondie, Belle…(who else?) So what is it about all of us that we all have rescue dogs? I don’t know that many people personally that have one – but there are so man y of us here that do. We got our second girl last year at Christmas time – 4 months old and ready to be euthanized. She has brightened our world beyond what I can describe…she’s a cuddler and a talker and a ball of fire.

Australia – best of all – you can shop in your PJ’s, with no shoes, no coat or gloves because it is COLD here! And you’re another one who is plugging right along adding up those days – congratulations!

Hi Mylife and ifdreams, ready for another AF weekend?

steadyhands – how are you? You’re almost to 12-12-11 – then only one year to go – LOL! And minstar, I think youre the only one I did talk to yesterday….I hope that computer didn’t get the best of you.

Freefly, how’s the plan coming? There are many examples of them in the toolbox.

Oh hey Wickedmom! I LOVE hearing that you are still strong – keep checking in with us, OK? How was the formula 303? I have tried valerian but that smell! I can’t even keep the bottle in my bedroom. LOL.

Snowman, I hope you’re staying strong – you’re in my thoughts.

Hey lostbutfound are you still around?

And WINDY - what's up girl? How are things? I was thinking of you yesterday....gawd......3 teens? how do you do it?

I had a rough day with my teen yesterday…but didn’t consider drinking…that would have been really bad. Two irrational people trying to work through something? No thank you.. BTDT.

I have to finish a bunch of stuff I started today so I had better run…I just have so many short posts through the week, I gotta spend a little time catching up at some point –

~Lola

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Hi Daniel...or should I say neighbour! I'm from Canada, 29 years old and have been living in Beijing for almost 6 years. Believe me, I know what you are going through. Expats seem to only meet in bars. Colleagues seem to always want to go for a drink after work. The culture shock of moving to a completely different country where you know no one in the beginning. Trying to meet new people/make new friends by going to the bar. The language difference. Not being able to seek professional help because of language difficulties. The stress of working in Japan (I heard Japan is the worst and Beijing is close behind) and trying to deal with that stress by drinking. I understand it all! Well welcome here. I am at the end of day 2 today. Read up as much as you can. The tool box is great. Post often...everyday! Ask questions! Take it a day at a time. And remember that we are all here for you!

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Wow such great welcoming post to Daniel... I can only add welcome to the nest.. you will find support and understanding here... get into the tool box make your plan and stick to the nest...

The Monet exhibition yesterday was good but I did not realize it was very limited to The Agapanthus Triptych.. 3 of the paintings were never intended for public display but were his prep paintings for the Triptych... then there was the Triptych which has been separated into 3 parts since the 1980s... all 3 have been brought together for this showing. Each canvas is 7 feet by 14 feet so you can imagine the size of the painting when combined. The final painting was Wisteria completed when he was very old and almost blind... it was amazing... we then had lunch and then hit I don't know how many stores. My friend is a shopper... I got home 12 hours after I left so I was a bit worn out last night.

Will my friends I am starting day 30... can't believe it, I really feel good compared to how I felt 30 days ago .. no AL and all those vitamin supps and everyone in the nest what a combination... I can not thank you all enough for all your great support... Here is to the next 30 days!!!

Thank you Thank you Thank you

[danieru]

Newbies Nest

Wow, I'm just blown away by how supportive and friendly this place is! To see people's goals below their names, and to hear stories that sound just like me...it's comforting. I've decided to make some goals for myself before going to bed tonight, in hopes that my pillow will feel a little more soft tonight : D

Goal 1: don't drink at the party tomorrow night in Tokyo
Goal 2: 1 week alcohol free
Goal 3: 2 weeks alcohol free
Goal 4: survive new years alcohol free
Goal 5: start 2012 off on the right foot alcohol free, and think about some new goals

Thank you guys so much for your advice and wisdom. It's such a bizarre feeling to read how people I have never met have felt so many of the same things. I thought I was alone!! I've been trying to cut back, with very little success, for at least 6 months. Drinking in moderation is just not working for me! Why should I think that trying the same thing over and over will end up with a different result? I've never tried going alcohol free because I thought I was strong enough to control myself. I've also never tried a series of real goals (I always just assumed a break was enough), so this is big for me. I would be so happy if I could make it to next year without taking a drink. Looking back on the progression of my habit over the past 3 years... I don't think I would be in very good shape another 5 years from now if I don't act now.

In Japan, there's this weird "game" that has become popular, especially among younger people: if there's an earthquake (which there are still plenty of since the March 11th megequake) chug a beer where ever you are at any time. At first I looked at it as kind of a positive thing, like it's some way of trying to keep a happy, enjoy-life-no-matter-what attitude about earthquakes... but man... what a foolish way to hide from problems, and what a dangerous habit to get into. On the day of the earthquake I was already drinking...and just so I could feel comfortable with my own friends. A month later a friend and I made a trip to one of the tsunami-hit areas. I was drinking in secret while I was supposed to be helping people. After ten days, I came back feeling selfish and like a bad person. In retrospect, remembering hard internal struggles like that give me even more reason to put the brakes on this slowly going out of control train.

You guys are a strong and smart group! Thank you for your positive energy: )

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

You sound like a smart, level-headed young man Daniel ~ glad to have you in th enest

:yay: CONGRATS on your 30 AF days Herbie :yay:
Be proud today & keep your eye on the goal

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Thank you Lolab!

Welcome Danieru! Reading and posting here can be very helpful. Don't worry about burdening us. Most of us have been burdening ourselves for years just fine! I have found that the people here are very welcoming and helpful, so just jump in if you want to.

For years, I tried moderating my intake unsuccessfully. The idea of stopping drinking was terrifying! I like your phrase "titanic decision." For me, moderating was just a way of buying myself more time to drink later, and it went on and on and on. I now know that it didn't ever work for me (even when I thought I was doing ok), and it will never ever work for me.

To answer your question, yes I did used to fell like that frequently. I finally found out that if it is such a big decision, then there is only one answer for me.

Wishing everyone else a wonderful AF day.

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Also Danieru, if I could give a little advice on what helped me in the past for going 4 months al free. In the beginning, I think (and my opinion only), it is best to stay away from places where there will be alcohol. If you don't feel strong enough tomorrow night, just don't go to the party. Also, get all alcohol out of your house. Because at some point, a thought will come into your head that you are ok and you can have 1. I've done that for 5 years. And it was never just 1. It was two one night, then 3 the next, then 4 the day after that, then drinking in the morning on day 6, then spending the whole day drinking on day 7 and so on.

You definitely are strong and I love your goals! You can do this!

[mylife]

Newbies Nest

Good morning nest!

Loads of great advice on here as usual. Danieru - I like your goals. Canadian - you are right - no AL in my house. All it takes is that one thought to blow a whole string of sober days!

Hope you all won the lottery this morning and woke up hangover free! The sober life rocks.

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Congratulations Herbie! That is something to be proud of!

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

this morning I woke to a white outside. Yea!!! do you feel the love?? Anyway another day, I did sleep better. Welcome Danieru, everyone here is so wonderful and supportive. I am keeping a low profile today for I am getting some sort of bug, which for me is not good. I have a lung disease and any bug can attack my lungs. So everyone keep up the great work.

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I'm BACK! May I say right off the bat, that there is nothing that I enjoy about flying anymore. It was bad enough trying to hide and drink my booze in the bathroom, but they've just sucked all the fun out of it now with fees and crowds and idiots!
I feel as tho I will never catch up on everyone! Just reading the past couple days everytime I was forming a point in my head to say, someone else posted it! It's nuts that we are all of one mind!! Lots of postitive momentum going on up in here!
May I extend a welcome wing out to Daniel. I came here 2 years ago. I googled 'How to stop drinking without going to rehab'. I remember that distinctly. I urge you to make a note of what you googled to find us too. Because we will use this after you have some days of success and get your groove on when you think you can go back and have just one!!! I never drank so hard in my life as the year I was 'moderating'. That made me drink out of panic...no telling when I'll get another one. It became a situation of not even enjoying the drink I was having...just worrying about the next one coming! It was nuts. I've never felt so free as I did when I finally sat here alone on the night of Jan 19, 2011. My hubs had packed up and gone somewhere, I didn't even know where. I made the decision that I had to cut the beast off at the head. I had to stop drinking. I had made it thru a couple times with a few days and made it to 12 days twice. But that night, I made a solid decision, and I have never regretted it since. It seems so overwhelming at first...but if you made it thru the last 10 minutes without AL you can make it thru the next 10. And so it goes. One slip feeds the beast and we all know where that goes. The first thing I would urge you to do it get control of your mind. That dam mind chatter is murder. Sometimes you just have to tell your brain to shut the @#$% UP!! When you have these thoughts, immediately think of something else. When you hear the 'oh, just one won't hurt you' CHANGE your thinking! Say NO, HELL NO! Think of the names of the 7 Dwarfs or Dwarves...google whether it's Dwarfs or Dwarves....Say the Pledge of Allegience, whatever it takes to get your mind from going down the rabbit hole. Do not imagine how nice it would be to relax with a glass of (fill in the blank). When you think about it, when WAS the last time you actually were the picture of that person sitting and relaxing with a glass of ____? I was never happy with one, or two....(bottles). It only feeds the beast. Don't even look at it as tho you can never drink again the rest of your life...it's just too much to take in right now.... just get thru the next hour...the next 10 minutes. The next thing you know, you'll be posting, Day 1...DONE! And well done it will be. Getting to Day 3 is big!!! We'll be right here to cheer you past that finish line. Now Day 7 is bigger still....you will have conquered every single day of the week....there's nothing or no day that can bite you in the butt that you haven't gotten thru. Now after Day 7, you will begin to feel like you've got this thing licked! Your problem WASN'T as bad as even you were making it out to be!!! This, my new friend, is The Voice in all its glory. It will tell you anything to get you to feed it. This is where you must remain strong. But let me tell you this...and back me up nesters...once you get to Day 13, something in your thinking changes...and this becomes something that you CAN do! And what you get in return is so much better than the AL you are giving up. You are getting your life back. These first few days will be hard, but you must be stronger....do not give in to AL no matter what and no matter who!! This journey is just like setting out on eating an elephant...you do it one bite at a time. Byrdie

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Welcome to the new folks, Danieru, Canadian gal...you have come to the right place. There is an unbelievable amount of support here I am sure you have found out already.

CONGRATS to HERBIE on 30 DAYS!!!! :goodjob::goodjob::goodjob:

And kudos to those who have been working hard to fight the fight. AGUY, you are amazing...from a gallon of rum a day to AF. There are a bunch of you out there that I cannot even list that are just doing awesome.

Lolab, I did not know you were worried about me, you are so sweet. "Laundry Room Vodka Swillers"...sounds like a great name for a grunge band. I am now day 9 past the last slip (of 2 minor ones). But I keep thinking on how it has been almost 7 weeks since I have actually been drunk. When I go into the laundry room now, I give the vodka bottle the "stink eye". I know too well what hell it can send me to and I don't wanna go there ever again. I can be really stubborn, and I hope that is serving me well against the beast. I am still afraid of red wine...as it is just so inviting and elegant compared to vodka swilling...:H Gotta stay strong.

Hubby and I were invited to a holiday champagne tasting tonight. A friend wanted to pay our way as way of saying "thank you" for some things we have done for her. I told my husband that I just was not up for it, and that I would rather stay home and watch cheezy christmas specials with the kids. He was fine with that (neither of us are really much for champagne...but in the past I would go because it is AL you know!). I don't need to put myself in temptations way if I don't have to.

It is chilly here, so it will be a very nice evening to snuggle deep into the nest. Cold Friday nights were traditionally great nights for warming up with red wine, so I will stay close and pop in if I see trouble coming.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back, Byrdie! Glad you made it back to the nest safe and sound...in all ways! You were never really far from us! :l

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys!!

I tried to post last night, but we had some thunder storms. I?ve been busy? VERY busy!! Cleaning and organizing every corner of my house ? let it slipped in my drunken days.

Yesterday I made new curtains for my bathroom ? a place I stood many a morning hating the reflection in the mirror. Used luxurious material for the smart, new me!

Walked past the liquor store yesterday and was appalled by the smell. AL STINKS!!
But still ? Late this afternoon I was wondering what it tastes like again and craved a cigarette once again!! I get quite upset with myself when this happens.

I thought of a way to ease the feeling of missing out when everybody else is drinking. I will try to remember all of the Newbies Nest member?s names. Will count all of you before I go on holiday. And while counting I will remember that you are going through the same. But I know I will have to count before I remember that I am not deprived!

Tonight I am baking cakes for my children?s birthday party tomorrow. My son?s cup cakes and d?cor is done, but I am waiting for the icing on my girl?s cake to set? think I messed it up. It is too runny and I still need to place the princess in the middle etc etc!! So tired and just want to sleep. Kiddies parties is actually a lot of work! But I am super excited! Besides the cakes and presents I am giving my children a 30 day AF mom!

Daniel - Will be great to get to know you.:hallo:

Canadian girl ? :hallo:Your statement that after a while you feel you can handle it helped me tonight. I am at that point and have to reason my way out of it. This is why this forum is so powerful.

HERBIE - CONGRATS!!:applaud::thumbysup:

Go well.
SH