Newbies Nest

[Audrey14]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters!!!

My Day 6..I finally went today to my Latvian community&school, made friendships, had talk with old people - emigrants after WW2.. Saturday morning 10.00a.m. and i was out!!!!
Why i didn' t do before??? Simply at 10 a.m. saturdays i wake up with hungover and very often fill my first glass of wine...i had a shame to go in such status to make contacts..
They have cafe and old, cheerful man asked me - what about glass of wine??? I say - oh, now thank you, next time...some water...Oh, i did it!!!

Lolab - yes, you' re right, i have that plan - to try be sober when my daughter will arrive..she' ll be here only 12 days, so i can' t waste any day with hungover or being drunk...

Herbie - Congrats on your 30 days!!!! And i'm glad you enjoyed Monet!!!
I had some surprise last night - my BF drunk soda water with lemon!!!! He was sober for 2 days..today he' s talking about beer aloud like he' s waiting for my allowance I don' t mind if he drinks beer because i hate even smell of beer..but it' s his decision not mine...
Actually he WANTED to drink yesterday..he was smart fox - he called me at 5 p.m. and asked if i was good all day - it means no AL..i say yes (we don' t lie each other - to be good or bad), so later he told me that he was outside of bottle shop (Australian term!!!) on the way to buy beer!!!

[Ruinator]

Newbies Nest

Hey All. I thought I would chime in and introduce myself and my story. I am 22 years old and started really drinking at about 18. My first time drinking ever was about 16 years old and from 16-18 I only really drank maybe 5-6 times. I am not 100% sure why I started getting into drinking heavy but I will explain what I think are the reasons. My junior year of high school I decided to change my life for the better and was sick of being the fat kid. Health become every part of my life and I was very passionate about finding the root cases of problems and didn't believe in modern medicine to solve peoples problems unless it was an emergency. I started getting serious about working out and eating right. I went from 260lbs to 175 in about 5 months of hard work, eating right, exercise, and dedication. Not once did I slack even after I got to my end goal weight. It had become a lifestyle change for me and did wonders in motivation, self esteem, feelings of physical and emotional well being. This continued over to my senior year where I ended up getting a job at the gym I worked out at to help others and share my story. I was working toward becoming a personal trainer.

With about 4-5 months left in my senior year, my family and I ended up going down to Colorado for my dad's brothers funeral. While there I endured a double compound fracture of my left lower leg. After a delayed trip I came back home and was put on strong pain killers. After about 3 months of being on them the doctors took me off and I experienced pretty bad withdrawals. It scared me pretty bad and didn't really know what was happening at the time. I did not touch any painkillers after I was taken off them.

After I just lost motivation to do anything. While recovering I met my now ex girlfriend of 3 years. We ended up drinking and smoking weed pretty often (like drinking every weekend and sometimes in the weekdays but smoking weed daily) in my bedroom at my parents and moved out of my parents house at about 8 months into the relationship. We constantly ate fast food and junk food. That's when my daily drinking really started. Although she didn't drink with my daily she did pretty often. My drinking got worse and worse. I was drinking EVERYDAY for about 1.6 years. Along with continuing to eat shitty fast food and pizza all day and binge on food when I was super drunk and black out. I ended up gaining all my weight back and more. I just didn't care about anyone or anything anymore. Only alcohol and weed. In late January of 2011 I experienced my first panic attack and thought I was going to die. From that day on I had very very anxiety and panic attacks daily. I decided I needed to slow down on drinking. It is not worth going through this anxiety. I went and saw a doctor and explained that I had binged on alcohol for quite some time drinking about half a fifth in a few hours and blacking out each night after large meals. He gave me some ativan to help me through the withdrawals but didn't really care about me only wanting me to come back to get more drugs from him. Of my past I was not wanting to take the ativan but did only when my anxiety was very severe. I am the type of person that likes to fight through problems and pain rather then just put a band aide on it but it seems like subconsciously that's what I was doing with the alcohol. I drank one more time a week after I got the ativan but it was living hell. I was having anxiety attacks thinking about drinking and while I was drunk. After that I asked my girlfriend to really help me and to keep me occupied so that I don't want to drink.

We both didn't drink for 6 weeks but I was still having very bad anxiety. We did end up drinking once maybe twice on the weekends only after this 6 week break.
In March 2011 I decided to go see naturopath that put me on high dose of daily vitamins, L-methylfolate, told me to workout daily, eat right. I took the supplements daily but still had a very hard time eating right and exercising because I just lacked the motivation to do ANYTHING. I got super serious about health again and did hundreds of hours of studying raw, root problems for health issues I was having along with health in general. Along with the supplement regimen and other superfoods I was taking I ended up healing myself of the anxiety in June 2011.

The weekend drinking continued on the weekends only varying from 1-2 days just depending how I was feeling that weekend.

That is where I am at today. Since my last drink my first sober day was 12-7-2011. I want to reach these goals with not only drinking but smoking weed. I have not smoked at all this week. I do not smoke cigs. Since about mid March 2011 I drink 1-3 days a week (within 7 days) but feel it super hard to stop for more then 6 days without intense cravings to drink. I know already that I have came a long ways from where I started but I want to give it up for at least 6 months if not for longer to rewire my brain to know this isn't something I need daily or even every weekend or even every month. I am taking the supplements listed at the link below along with about 6 grams of L-glutamine daily and 1.5-2 grams of L-tryptophan daily.

I would just like to find support in members here that I can text and talk on the phone with in helping me reach my goals of 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, and 6 months, and longer. And hopefully help others do the same. A huge issue for me is when the cravings hit and they hit hard. The glutamine does help somewhat with them but not very much. I do some of the things listed in the toolbox here such as 8 or more hours of sleep, stay hydrated (I collect my own spring water and drink about a gallon a day), supplements. My problem is getting the motivation and energy to start eating better and exercising daily again so not only to reach my goals of not drinking but to lose the weight I have gained back.

Thanks for reading my story and sorry it was so long.
-Ruin

[canadian gal]

Newbies Nest

Hey nesters!

Taking a break from work and thought I would drop in.

Audrey- You rock! 6 days in and being able to turn down a glass of wine! That is hard! Keep up the good work!

Ruin- Man, that is quite a story. I'm not one for taking meds or supplements so I don't know what to tell you about that. The only advice I can give you is to find some other kind of activity to do on the weekends. For example, join a sports team or club, learn a new instrument, take a class, etc. Anything to keep you busy on weekends. It's hard when you get stuck into a bad routine (eating poorly, smoking and drinking....or for me daily drinking from a.m.- p.m. on my worst days), but something clicks in your head and gives you motivation and determination. I would start off with baby steps. Start exercising for 30 minutes a day and eat at least 1 healthy meal a day. Gradually start to exercise for longer periods of time and eat two healthy meals a day. Try to do this with a friend to help motivate each other. Soon your body will start responding, you'll be full of energy and motivation, just like the first time when you were able to lose all the weight. Staying all free or weed free is a lifestyle change and you have to REALLY want to change your lifestyle in order to succeed. Post here! All the time! When you get your cravings, log on! We'll help you get through it and you'll help others too, whether you know it or not. Good luck!

Herbie- Thanks for the welcome and congrats on your 30 days! That is wonderful! MMM, your cookies sound great!

Stay strong newbies!

[changemeforever]

Newbies Nest

Hi. Thought I'd come and feel cozy and safe in this lovely nest. I guess I've known for years that I have an addiction to alcohol-I joined in 2009 was AF for 30 days and then started to drink again. I made the choice to drink and now I'm making the choice not to drink. Wow that feels good just typing the words so as day 2 for me starts I know that my life is just starting over again. So thank you for all your advice and support on these boards and as I move along in my journey I hope to be able to help others too. xx

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Quote from Trunagain;

Welcome Back, Cap'n G! I know that this had to be a tough post to make. I have so much respect for your insight and honesty and I am just shivered to my timbers that you got loose from the death grip of the addiction so darn quick. xxxx strap on extra butt velcro or I'll make you walk the plank!

Greg -- Trunagain said this so well. We have not lost our sense of humor or our love for you. That took a lot of guts to do. I don't know how to put this -- but to me I don't see this as a failure but a success. You were experimenting and it blew up like a bad chemist. I bet Albert had a few mistakes to. To admit you made a mistake and you are able to learn from it is HUGE. What you learn is very important as you move forward in your journey. Could you please elaborate about your learning experience when you feel like it? :h I am just curious and forgive me if I am stepping over the line, but do you think it was stress building up and then you needed to relax and that was the way you saw yourself truly relaxing? I think stress is a big trigger for me and my pea-sized brain thinks booze will help me relax and is my reward. So I know I need to retrain my thinking and years of brainwashing, but I am not sure how to do it. Hang in there..

I am coming up on my original goal of 100 days after Christmas. My bother asked me if I planned on getting drunk of Valentines Day...I just laughed and went a long with the joke. Long term abstinence is really hard and is a daily effort in the crazy society we live in today. I am truly learning that. And Greg, you are helping me learn that and I am so glad you came back here to us in the Nest. It is very important that you be here: for me, for you and everyone else....So do not jump ship again or I will personally hunt you down.

Piper -- You sound very fragile at the moment and unless you want to go and think you can stay away from the booze, I would fake an illness or find some reason not to go. I know you are suffering from the loss of your lovely dog. So take some time for yourself and do what you want to do. Listen to your inner voice -- it is very wise.

Herbie -- I haven't mentioned, but I love your new avatar...so cute. I love baking in my sobriety - it is really relaxing, creative and peaceful in an odd sort of a way. Congrats on 30 Days. That is something to celebrate.

Byrdie -- So good to see your post and marvelous words of wisdom. You are another person that is so important to this thread and I keep coming back to this thread because of people like you. Sometimes I get complacent about posting and then I see a post from you or Greg and know I have to say something....So it is your fault I am babbling.....You have given so many of us great advise and kept us on the straight and narrow. What do you want for Christmas? You deserve a BIG cookie.

PF - - If you are out there reading -- I am thinking about you and hoping you are doing well. We all miss you too.

This group is getting so strong...We should all feel proud of the work we do to stay the course. I can't begin to mention everyone today, but I think we are all so important to each other in such a positive way. I feel great energy from this community and especially the "Newbies Nest". Thank you all for that.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Hello & welcome Ruin & welcome bacl changeme!

Ruin, you are a young guy, obviously intelligent & know to do your homework! Please give the MWO Hypno CDs a try! I think they will help you find the motivation you are searching for
They certainly helped me change my thinking (about a lot of things) & here I am entering my third AF holiday season. Go to the Health store here on the site & take a look at them!

Changeme, drinking is always a choice - making the choice to not drink is the one I make every day

Canadian gal & Audrey, both so far from home but you are both doing well & making progress - good for both of you!

SL, no one on earth is going to expect you to drink AL at the party if you say you are not drinking AL. Go to the party believing that you will not drink, stay true to your commitment

Hello to everyone in the nest today & wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Morning All

Ruinator

I read your post and had to go get some coffee so i could post back

AL is a hugh depressant...and not only does it depress you it takes all motivation away... you may start your day with a plan to eat right and exercise but if you start the day with a drink all that goes away. I don't have experience with dope... but from what I have seen it too makes you want to sit on the sofa and contemplate your naval. Once you kick the AL and dope out you will find your motivation again... you got it in you ... think about your goal to drop the weight and get in shape .... you accomplished it, you can do it again.

You are very young which is good cause you do not have decades of habits to break. Good for you for being AL free since the 7th (you said sober day so I am assuming no dope too) ... Go to the tool box and make a plan..
I have found the vitamin supps to very helpful cause the AL mess up all your body chemistry and they help rebalance you.. I have also read the MOV book and jason vale's book quit the drink easily.. go back a few months on this tread and read the great stories here on how people have overcome the craving... have a plan for the witching hour and stick to it, walk past the wine in the store, durn down an offer of a drink.. it is hard for everyone on here, but you will see it is possible and you will see the success so many have had...the most important thing is to come to nest and post..its an accountability thing.. you will find so much support here... Lav, Brydie, LoLab and Blondie are super helpful.. read their stings

Finally, do you have a job, do you have structure in your life...i.e have to be at a job at 7 am and so I must be sober etc so I can function? If you do not have a job, I recommended you create some structure ... I think it is important you need something to get up for and to get moving for...to be accountable to

Changemeforever... a big welcome back.. stay close to the nest and congrats on day 2... I don't know where I would be without the nest...

To all my other fellow nesters, isn't it great to wake up on Saturday morning with a clear head and no hangover!!!

I am going to go hop in the shower and package up cookies to give away to my neighbors so I will be back later

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Safe and Sober Saturday Nesters!

Thanks for the warm welcome back! Good to see many getting stronger and wiser and also a big HELLO! to all of the new Nesters!

Windy.... Not so sure there was that much stress involved - there was definitely some stress - we had some surprises with the vessel and we're pushing ourselves from first light to twilight every day so we could cover as much distance as possible while we had the chance. But, I think the main thing was that I got off track with The Plan. To have long term success with sobriety, we all need a good Plan, right? The Nest is full of chatter about the importance of a plan.

I am a big believer in the basic principles of MWO and feel that the Big 3 are non-negotiable; they ALL need to be there: Exercise, Supplements, Hypotherapy. The 4th pillar, prescription drugs, I see as optional. Some may go that way, others may not.

In the weeks leading up to my relapse, I slipped further and further away from my own personal Plan. My iPod crashed (where I had the Sleep Hypnotherapy CD on a continuous playlist), and instead of finding an alternate way of playing the CD all night, I just wsn't playing it. And where I had been doing the Clearing or Hypnotic CD's at least every other day, I wasn't doing them at all.

So, basically, I just let myself get away from the things that I had been doing to be successful. Add that to my own prediction of a downfall - a self-fulfilling prophecy - throw in some long hard days and a slip next to the Tikki Bar.....

One BIG BIG lesson...In hindsight, I really didn't have a 9-1-1 plan (for Nesters outside the US, 9-1-1 is the number to dial for an EMERGENCY!!)
I had never rehearsed in my mind what I would do if I found myself on the verge...so, when I decided to drink, I just did.

So, of course, I now have my 9-1-1 plan:
1. Check into the Nest and share!
2. Go and get some exercise
3. Do a Hypno CD for an hour

Any one of those 3 things would have been enormously helpful for me and I would have averted the slip and the ensuing 8 days of tumbling down the rabbit hole.

Well, gotta run...big day working on the boat and capped off with the Christmas Boat Parade. This is typically a BIG drinking event, and I already know the Admiral wants to have a "toddy". That's OK - she CAN have one - she has the "regular" drinking gene. Me, I'll go with a nice fizzy water...or maybe a hot chocolate if it's chilly!

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Happy Sober Saturday to all fellow nestlngs, and welcome back, Cap'n G...us nesters were missing you and worried about you! You did come back with a lot of wisdom. Thanks so much for sharing.

I am on a 7th hangover free Saturday morning. Well mostly...a little groggy from the Nyquil I had to take for this cough/cold I have. It bothered me that there was a bit of alcohol in it, so I only took 1/2 a dose and that did the trick. I won't count that as a slip...:H. Without it I would have been snorting and hacking all night. It is wonderful to take my daughter to gymnastics without the blah feeling.

Herbie can you send some cookies my way? I have read about a few of us getting into baking in our sobriety. I made a banana bread yesterday and it is great for breakfast.

Hi to Windy, Lab, Lola, Byrdie (:crowned:way to go at the conference:yay Blonde, Turnagain, ScottishLass, Piper, AGUY, Audrey(you are doing great!) canadianGal, and everyone else I missed...oh is this nest ever full. Maybe we need to build an addition. Anybody handy with tools?

[windy]

Newbies Nest

From the Cap'n ----

One BIG BIG lesson...In hindsight, I really didn't have a 9-1-1 plan (for Nesters outside the US, 9-1-1 is the number to dial for an EMERGENCY!!)
I had never rehearsed in my mind what I would do if I found myself on the verge...so, when I decided to drink, I just did.

Greg --- Did you decide to drink on a whim or had you made up your mind up hours maybe days before? I have read here many times that the decision is made in plenty of time before we actually do it, without truly recognizing you have really made the decision already. So that being the case, how do you recognize it and act positively on reversing the decision. Sometimes I think we are hell bent and it would be hard to reverse that feeling. There has got to be a way to get your mind out of that process. I guess I am worried I could go down the same path and could already be going down it....Better resolve and true grit, honesty and a slap in the face might be in order to get my mind in a real place. Thank you for your honesty as it has me really thinking about this. Now go run 5 miles and listen to the CD's.

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Awesome post Herbie.

Great questions Windy - I was thinking along the same lines last night after I saw Greg's post....I am always just so much better off armed with as much info as I can get. And that makes so much sense...that often that decision is made ahead of time. Possibly someone would quit posting as much here or slack off on the CD's because they already have that decision made kind of subconsciously? Or is the choice to drink a direct result of not posting and slacking on your plan... Kind of like the chicken or the egg...I love that you're pondering all of this.

As far as me? Don't worry, I'm not going to but for some reason, I have not had SOOO many drinking thoughts as I have today - in a loooong time. In fact I'v had lots and lots of days lately where it hasn't entered my mind. But today....regular day....cleaning....Christmas cards....nothing too crazy - but a couple of times my mind was really screaming at me! sheesh! SHUT UP! It concerns me because it might be related to Christmas? and some kind of hidden stress of trying to get ready - and that is only going to get worse. So, it's time for me to devise a sub-plan. Operation Christmastime. I will be thinking lots about this while mopping the kitchen floor and wrapping gifts. :-) IN the mean time I am going to take a nerve tonic to take the edge off (and hope I don't fall asleep!) and get something to eat.

~Lola

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

BelleGirl! A new Wing in the Nest! Bah! It is full, but there is always room for more. Every story matters.
Greg, I'm with the others who say it took kohonnies to make that post...we were all worried. Not only worried for you, but worried for us, too. We are all of similar thinking here...and when one of us is in trouble, well, it could happen to any of us. Frankly, that scares the hell out of me. So I will double my resolve to not even let one thought of drinking enter my mind. It is a very cunning opponent, and will do/say/tell us anything to get back in. It's fighting for its life too. May the stronger win, and I pray that's going to be me.
As for the Christmas parties...nesters if I can get thru that convention where the booze flows like manna from heaven, you can say no too. I was the poster child for drinking at these things!! Take it from me, it was no big deal. Just blurt out 'no thanks' before your brain has a chance to edit anything. That moment of hesitation, can give a host reason to say, 'oh, come on, it's Christmas!'. I don't care if it's the second coming of the man himself!!! Do Not take a drink!! You do not have to have alcohol to be engaging .....in fact, you are much more so without it. You don't have to stay long like in the old days...just stay long enough to enjoy yourself and go home. The next morning, if you're like me, you will feel like a million bucks. I was stronger than AL (with nods to PF). Not only CAN you do it, you MUST do it! Kapeesh??? I thought so. We all 'get it'. It's the implementation that throws a wrench in things.
I will never know how people name every name in the nest and know exactly where everyone is...but thank God for those souls. As I sit here with a rather long post, I pray I don't hit something and lose it. Posting folks by name is huge...someday, I hope to be able to go back and forth and do that...I go from memory...that's scary, isn't it? May I add this, now that I think about it. A year ago, I made all sorts of excuses for forgetting things, and began my sentences with, " I may have told you this, but...". Now I am sharp as a tack. I don't forget things, and my memory is fantastic. So if you think you've destroyed all your brain cells like I thought, good things are coming your way....the darn things bounce back!!!
MindPeace to all today....Greg...so glad you are back....here's the butt glue. Byrdie

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Good evening to THE ALMOST 30 GROUP!! - Yes, I've counted the nest... we are 29!

So, with much love, this is for you Byrdie. (In no particular order!)

1. Turnagain
2. Herbie
3. Byrdlady
4. Lavande
5. BelleGirl
6. IfDreamsWhereHorses
7. ScottishLass
8. Andrew
9. Gregorino
10. Daniel
11. CanadianGirl
12. BlondeAFAmbition
13. PineCone
14. Irie
15. Audrey14
16. Australia
17. MinStar
18. AGUY
19. MyLife
20. Piper123
21. Ronnie
22. Timpin
23. PrairyFairy
24. LoLab
25. Ruinator
26. ChangeMeForever
27. Windy
28. MeMyself&I - Steady Hands
29. & mrsg!!

Did I miss anyone - please add!

[mrsg]

Newbies Nest

Hi Guys,
I haven't posted in a while but I'm still reading all your wonderful posts. Welcome to all the newbie's. Well done for taking the first difficult step. You are all doing wonderfully well. Tomorrow is my 35th birthday and I'm finding tonight SO very difficult. I feel very sad that I can't 'enjoy' a drink. Every year for the last 18 years I would now be celebrating big time. I would have bought really good bottles of wine and champagne and had friends over or go out for a meal. I'm doing neither, I'm not up to that yet. I'm staying in with my hubby, ginger ale in my wine glass and I just want to drink!! I won't but it just feels a bit shit but this is all part of the journey. The first birthday, Christmas etc will always be difficult and I know its about clocking up those days. Sorry for being a bit down, I know what I'm doing is right but right now it doesn't make it any easier. Thanks for being here guys xxx

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

I want to use the above list this holiday to stay sober. Like I posted earlier, I will try to remember everybody’s names on the list and if they keep on bothering me I will pick a name and act like I forgot to sms that friend of mine and get physically away from the situation. We have all tried to act sober before, so I guess I can pull that off!!

My children’s birthday party went really well and the cupcakes where a hit! Proud!! I, of course also noticed who was drinking and what and how much… Only 3 of us had cool drinks. The other 12 adults were boozing away from 11am at a kiddie’s party!! The hard core drinkers were still around at 3pm and I took my tired son as a cue to get out of there. Previously I would have tried to make him sleep on the couch so that I can continue drinking. My sisters noticed and I just got an angry sms from one of them. Obviously very drunk. I am so thankful that with the help of MWO I am willing to face the fact that I cannot handle alcohol. I feel sad, because I know my sister is going to hate herself tomorrow and that I am no longer there for her. She usually phoned me so that I could talk her out of self hatred and made her feel better. It was a month ago that I said “EVERYBODY DOES IT!!!”

No. Not everybody. Not me. Not anymore!!
SH