Newbies Nest

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Thank you BamaJohn - that meant a lot. :-) xoxo

[Tut]

Newbies Nest

Hello all I want to send out a VERY ENTHUSIASTIC THANK YOU to everyone on here for your words of encouragement and welcoming me into the Nest. Tonight, I almost broke, and I am still tempted to grab a beer before I go to sleep....BUTT VELCRO PLEASE!!! I think that I came to many realizations today, just stuff that popped in my thoughts as the day went on. I realize that I to cannot drink in moderation....and even as I type this I am thinking to myself "yes you can silly". My husband asked me tonight why are we going down this same road again (meaning: quit drinking - start again - quit - start - quit....) ya'll get the point I am sure. I don't like making him feel that way. Those nasty little AL demons are clawing at me....why does this have to be so difficult?

[WickedMom]

Newbies Nest

Hello everyone!
I have decided I will try to make the time to post here more often. Today is 12 weeks AF for me and I owe a huge part of my success to all of you in this big amazing nest! I have been reading here since I began this process, and like BamaJohn I have become rather attached to you all! You have helped me and I hope to be able to give back at some point.

For some reason though, the last few days have not been easy for me. Up until now I have been feeling very positive. Happy and strong in my resolve to not drink. Seeing Greg and PrairieFairy reappear is a very good thing -- but somehow worrisome as well. It makes me wonder if a slip up is in my future too -- although I truly hope that is not the case. I have NO intention of drinking at all!! NONE!!! I just refuse to go back to that misery. (Yes, I am trying to convince myself.)

A few days ago I attended a holiday party with my husband, his coworkers, and plenty of wine, punch (yuck), and tequila. I drank water. It was pretty easy and overall I had a good -- but not great -- time. I did feel awkward for a lot of the evening. I guess I?m just not used to dealing with people that I don?t have that much in common with, without being in an altered state. It makes me sad. Don?t know why I felt so shy. I?ve actually known half the people there for years and years. Right after I got home I felt super proud of myself, but in the morning I just felt down and haven?t been able to shake it since.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I?m hoping to feel back to my old happy self in the morning!

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Summer holiday and the swim suit search

Good morning busy Nesters!!

I've been reading, but too tired to post. On cold meds....Why just before a summer break away? Why?? Leaving on Sunday for a sea holiday till after New Years. This means that I sort out my whole house. EVERYTHING!! Psychologists have a name for it, but I find peace in being super organised. I feel in control! So, when I come back I am ready to kick ass in 2012!!!

I've been trhinking after reading all the posts:
Hi - to all the new birds! Keep posting please - we will get to know by name & :heartadded you to my list!)

To the Mod Squad – You guys freaked me out a while ago. Like a previous poster said – when will it be my turn? I would like to thank you for coming back and posting your mistakes and lessons learned. THAT is what made the difference in this quit for me. Reading your fired up victories (because without AL you feel sooo good!!), notice you haven’t posted for a while… to the final sentence….Day one for me again… Every time I read that in the past 30 days I’ve been glued to MWO, that nasty mod switch flipped further OFF! Thank you for helping in a HUGE part of my struggle.

To the old timers (and other threads) – I’ve learned more about addiction on MWO than the past 10 years of seeking help at docters, psychiatrists and reading about supplements.

I am a perfectionist and analyze detail till I don’t know where I am anymore. A quality that I learn to apply only to certain things as I grow up, but what this character trait did was to set me up to become an addict. My father was a lonely alcoholic, my mother still one in denial. She can handle herself better, but is a pharmacist, so mixing substances with AL triple the effects… In short – she doesn’t need a lot of AL!!
Growing up I learned that alcoholism is hereditary and that I should “watch out” that I don’t become one. This just made me so anxious about it!! And curious!


The first time I deliberately drank AL was just after I heard my father had a problem. I was 11. I sneaked to the cabinet where they kept it and looked at the bottles. I was looking for the sherry, because it was sweet and we were allowed to taste it before. I didn’t want to get caught and accidently grabbed the brandy… took a huge mouth full and almost died on the spot!!
Then, of course, I bragged about it and showed off to my sisters and friends. My drinking became a problem in my early 20ties, but that was a “cool” marker for AL.

My childhood was traumatic.Like the good guy every Sunday sitting in the first row in church… My parents, highly educated people playing respected roles in the community, living in a great house with 3 beautiful daughters… It was very difficult to see the abuse and the role AL played in it, because it had a great purpose. AL numbs and gives courage and shuts up anxiety for hours!

I don’t know why I feel the need to post this today!! Deleted how many times just to find myself typing it again. It is like my soul needs to vomit!!

I actually just wanted to post today that I am OK with my fat arse!!

Being the perfectionist I always stayed in shape and looked as good as I could. What people think and “how it looks” is always priority #1! I always thought that I don’t like sweet stuff and simply don’t have an appetite. Didn’t realize that AL suppressed it that much. Anyway… I’ve been eating a lot for the last month and now look about 5 months pregnant! inkele:

Getting ready for a sea holiday and not fitting into clothes made me wonder if this AL free thing was working or not. I am creative and make clothes as a hobby, so I can make bigger ones, but when in swimming wear you simply can’t cover it all!!

Lolab said I seem so steady – and I am. IT CLICKED!! Alcohol was a big misunderstanding in my life. In the end I drank dry white wine and whisky. It was what my father drank. I drank that to show him that I love him. I wanted to know him and get close to him.

Like some people are allergic too bee stings, I am allergic to AL. They swell up and can’t breathe and could die. I want more and more and don’t stop till I black out and I could die.

I am finally free and THIS SOBER LOOK IS THE VERY BEST I’VE EVER LOOKED!!

Ok, ok. I am going to stop typing and make a few pieces of clothes and need to hit the shops for my first one piece swim suit ever!

Love yourselves!!urgirl:

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

SH - i hear you about the drink and drink til one passes out. I keep hearing one is not enough and thats wht moderation would never work for me. I feel 'ripped off' if I only have one drink - so none it is!
Pinecone - belated congrats on 30 days
PF - welcome back, good job going AF again
Lolab, Lav and Byrd - youre awesome inspiration
Blonde - loved your wreath, its gorgeous
Herbie - sorry to hear you had a tough day
And all - well done!

Audrey - how are you?
Andrew?
If dreams-you're one day ahead of me, how're you doing?

[Australia]

Newbies Nest

:goodjob:Sorry Andrew, just saw your last post - good job!!!

[piper123]

Newbies Nest

I made it! this morning I can put bead #14 on my hemp! Will post later...off to work! Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. I'll be sticking around for the next 14 days and hopefully I can make it to one month!

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

OK - checking in. Not much time - the new temp boss until the end of the assignment?

Well if I was still under the illusion I could mod.... 'nuff said.

So - off to inhale coffee and face the "joys" of the day. Blech.

Today I will be stronger than AL.

[gregorino]

Newbies Nest

Great Day Nesters!

Checking in quickly before I fly out the door to the gym. Have changed up my cardio routine so it's H.I.I.T. High Intensity Interval Training. Doesn't take as long as the 40 minutes of cardio and is better for weight loss.... I still have way too many mooshies!

Prairie - You got a deal!

Nice work Piper! Two weeks is an awesome start.

Steady - Thanks for sharing details of your story.... We can all relate to the impacts of childhood on our adult lives..... (I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up!)

Wishing everyone a successfully sober and peaceful day - Stay Strong and Be Calm!

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Hi from me too Cap'n G (formerly Can'tBelieveI'mStillAt) - was time for a name change! Sorry to hear you had a wee relapse but glad to see you back here. I'll join you and Prairie too on the fresh start. Day 2 for me

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

Hey Greg, I love HIIT - although mine is probably really MIIT (Medium Intensity Interval training) :H but hey, between that and my other workout and extra productivity and without all the empty calories of vodka and wine, I am down about 13 pounds since Sept. And with this crazy holiday schedule? I am really not working out as consistently as I should. I do the 8 hmmm....something Dr. Mercola talks about. It takes 21 minutes. Warm up for 5 minutes, 30 seconds running hard on the treadmill, 90 seconds of recovery...30 seconds running hard - 90 seconds of recovery....when you do that 8 times, and then cool down for 90 seconds I get off the treadmill and walk around a bit for more cool down and I'm good to go...they say it keeps your metabolism up and burning calories all day. Oh, I think it's Peak 8?

Prairie, well, that stinks that you are assuming boss responsibilites before you leave! But maybe the best thing for you - as you'll have to stay on your toes?

I'm keeping this short right now and want to go back and read a bit -

see ya!

~Lola

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good morning Nesters!

Just doing a fly-by to see that the nest is open for business
Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Tut]

Newbies Nest

I can't believe I actually made it thru night #2....I had a serious battle going on with the AL demons. BUT I WON!!! I am having a bit of a time getting to sleep...maybe the Melatonin will help. Today starts day 3 and I do not look forward to the battle this evening I do like waking up clear-headed in the morning and sending my 8 year old off to school without my mind being in a fog. My 20 year old boy works late shift so he never really gets to see me in the evenings....but when he has, I have always had a buzz. I know the saying is "do as I say, not as I do" but the one that takes precedent for me these past 2 days is "lead by example". I am trying to do that but it is a long, long road ahead. Since so many folks in the Nest have suggested L-Glutamine to help with the cravings, I will purchase it today, along with vitamin B-complex and Milk Thistle (saw that somewhere on this website). I do have one question though, do I take the L-Glutamine along with my daily prescription meds in the morning or do I wait until closer to the "witching hour"?? I appreciate everybody on here...because without ya'll I WOULD have failed last night.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters!

Welcome back PF! Glad to hear from you and happy you have flown back into the Nest! You did the right thing by dusting yourself off and getting right back into the swing of things. Most folks cannot mod, so you are not alone

I am rushing off this morning...very busy this week with throwing a big holiday and birthday luncheon tomorrow afternoon...trying to get all the food and housework done plus I have a full day of work to get at the shop. Hope you all have a super day and welcome to all the new comers! Will post more when I have more time!

Blessings to all of you

[lukalee]

Newbies Nest

Hey Tut, I am on day 3 as well. I have a 14 and 9 year old, and know what you mean....As far as the glut, I have heard that at the beginning it is better to take it at regular intervals when starting off, and then going to when there are cravings......I am not sure about around meds, though.