Newbies Nest

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

I know that. I was upset about something last night - came across the last of the vodka and it was a bloody Mary/off to the races. So - poured the last of it down the drain this morning.

I can barely eat. I can't call - he's in a high stress job where he needs to be focused.

And right now - all the things I need to say need more time. I never told him about MWO. I never told him what I was trying to do. So he literally doesn't know about going cold turkey, you, that I know I have a problem, that I am trying to change.

So - I am sitting here - at some fast food joint - looking at food congealing - trying not to cry - and not knowing where to start.

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Evening...

Lukalee - enjoy your sleep! I somehow enjoy the first few "sleep" nights without AL. Constantly awake, but it is a different type of sleep. Like the body says THANK YOU!!

MrsG - D60!!:clapclap::clapclap::yougo:

Unwasted - D30!!:applaud:

FlyAway & Lola - What's up with losing dads and drinking?? My 2 kids were born 2years and 2 days apart. Count back 9 months and TA DAA!! - You get the day my father died...
Making sense of it all (it was a drunken mess for a few years!!) I made it simple by saying to myself that God takes souls away, and then he gives you others! And on other days I refer to my unplanned angels as "party girl rehab"!

Lolab - To add to your reflections as we become more sober... I recognize a lot of leaders on this site. And I think we fall so hard, because we made it look so good. Who am I? I spent a LOT of money and time on all sorts of therapies to heal myself and in one particular course I realised that my main job in life is to help people in process / act of forgiving. A big clue in your life purpose is to recognize your worst quality. I am currently at war with my family!! I don't forgive easily and can be cold for years. Addiction runs deep in my family and I know they look up to me. Part of winning a war is knowing your enemy very well. I know I must be sober for the rest of my life.

Just my 2 cents ?(like Americans say!) Is it two, right?

Enjoy your journeys birds!

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi PF!

Sorry, girl!! Wish I could cheer you up. Order something greasy that you like at the fast food. That and a Coca Cola always helped me.

I've been telling on this site how I pushed away everybody to get sober and that almost nobody knows... Someone in some post mentioned that their partner didn't understand exactly what AL did to them. Although I spoke a lot to my hubs (ex, almost) about it, I now think that he doesn't truly understand.

What I would like to say is that you had awesome posts and I remember the one where you described him looking and smiling at you round about 2/3 weeks... I envied that. Maybe you should share SOME of it. A few posts. You put up a hell of a fight and deserve success!!

Sending you love!!

[MinStar]

Newbies Nest

Evening Nesters!
Thanks LoLab for mentioning me. Like you said it makes me feel welcome and warm. Even though I pop in and out of the lab. I blame that on my madame! (and I wouldnt have it any other way!)

Went out to get some lunch with a friend. Normally, as she finished her exams, I would be celebrating with her. She did mention several times- "oh you not having one' no fun if you are not having one. I tried to steer the attention away and just said. I may have some at Christmas but at the moment I am ok. She did mention she may also need to go 'cold turkey'. Earlier she mentioned she would not be able to not drink. And another time she said she would get another drink in when she got home. I saw the same things I think/say when I drink. Constantly looking for the next drink, looking for an excuse and a partner in crime. Normally i would have been waiting for her exams to finish so I could say "hey well done! I think we should celebrate!"

Just realising how hard people/situations and the holidays will make it for us so remember to be strong- I keep telling myself that AL does not rule us and we are so in control of what we want to. I can drink but the repercussion arent what I want. I get what I want by NO AL tolerance.

Still really really tired. I am 23 or so AL free days in. Is it normal to be so tired?

Hope everyone is well. I shall aim to be on MWO more as the holiday season nears. I also need to get back to reading past posts, getting recalls of my ugly hangovers and Jason Vale's book!

Stay strong x

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

I am not sure where to start with my career in drinking, so i will start when i was 28. I started hanging around with people who drank all the time. I soon discovered that al took my problems away if only temporary. I went to rehab in 1991 and a treatment centre in may of 91. i stareted up drinking as soon as i got out.My marriage broke up because i could not get past the alcohol, and to this day it is my biggest regret,that is when i start drinking.I have become an angry drunk, I have not had a drink today but it is constantly on my mind and i need someone to talk to, please

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1226291 wrote: I am not sure where to start with my career in drinking, so i will start when i was 28. I started hanging around with people who drank all the time. I soon discovered that al took my problems away if only temporary. I went to rehab in 1991 and a treatment centre in may of 91. i stareted up drinking as soon as i got out.My marriage broke up because i could not get past the alcohol, and to this day it is my biggest regret,that is when i start drinking.I have become an angry drunk, I have not had a drink today but it is constantly on my mind and i need someone to talk to, please

Hi Twitt

You were actually on my mind a lot after your last post... And you did sound like an angry person, but good for posting again. I'm waiting for a movie to down load and we can chat...

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1226291 wrote: I am not sure where to start with my career in drinking, so i will start when i was 28. I started hanging around with people who drank all the time. I soon discovered that al took my problems away if only temporary. I went to rehab in 1991 and a treatment centre in may of 91. i stareted up drinking as soon as i got out.My marriage broke up because i could not get past the alcohol, and to this day it is my biggest regret,that is when i start drinking.I have become an angry drunk, I have not had a drink today but it is constantly on my mind and i need someone to talk to, please

Hey Twitt. You said you've been drinking for 20 years, right? That must put us at about the same age. Drinking makes you feel like your problems are gone, but they're really just hidden and waiting to come right back at you. They never go away. What is your plan to quit drinking? Are you taking any supplements? Read any books?

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

Steady Hands;1226297 wrote: Hi Twitt

You were actually on my mind a lot after your last post... And you did sound like an angry person, but good for posting again. I'm waiting for a movie to down load and we can chat...

and i appolgize for that it was rude and stupid ya think i would have learned something by now, but thankyou for answering i greatly appreciate it

[twitt]

Newbies Nest

FlyAway;1226301 wrote: Hey Twitt. You said you've been drinking for 20 years, right? That must put us at about the same age. Drinking makes you feel like your problems are gone, but they're really just hidden and waiting to come right back at you. They never go away. What is your plan to quit drinking? Are you taking any supplements? Read any books?

I have been to aa several times, i am haveing a green tea in hopes it will calm me down. I have almost all of the aa books including the big book. I take b vitamines calcium and magnesium, i talked with my eldest daughter today but i lied to her and said i wasn:t drinking,now i fell guilty for that. I am on anti-deppresants but they don:t seem to be working or maybe its the alcohol withrawal, i really want to quit before it kills me i am grateful for all the posts i have read and for you answering me back

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy--I'm sorry that you're so sad and I wish there was some way I could help. I'm not sure how things are with your SO and if telling him about all of this is really the best thing or not. Maybe just tell him that you're sorry that you fought would be enough. I think you need to find something physical to do to burn off some stress. Weren't you taking some kind of exercise class? Or maybe just taking a brisk walk would help. Good for you for pouring out the rest of the vodka. Have a good cry and let that energy out. And then just put one foot in front of the other. :l

Steady Hands--Interesting post. I'm reading a book now about finding your purpose in life. I certainly don't feel like I've found mine yet. And you got it right--2 cents! :H

MinStar--Way to go on not drinking at lunch! I can just imagine your friend trying to get you to drink too. Congratulations.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

twitt;1226305 wrote: I have been to aa several times, i am haveing a green tea in hopes it will calm me down. I have almost all of the aa books including the big book. I take b vitamines calcium and magnesium, i talked with my eldest daughter today but i lied to her and said i wasn:t drinking,now i fell guilty for that. I am on anti-deppresants but they don:t seem to be working or maybe its the alcohol withrawal, i really want to quit before it kills me i am grateful for all the posts i have read and for you answering me back

Have you tried L-Glutamine? It can help with cravings. It helps people with sugar cravings too. Lots of people on here take it. I don't currently use it, but have in the past and found it helpful. I had 1000mg capsules and took about 4000mg total a day. 1000 when I got up, 1000 around lunch, 1000 late afternoon, and 1000 after dinner or if I got a craving. I also read a book by Jason Vale called Kick The Drink Easily and that helped me a lot. It's really just about changing your way of thinking about alcohol.

[FlyAway]

Newbies Nest

Another thing Twitt, here is a link to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

The Tool Box is a thread where people have posted tips about things they find helpful in staying sober.

[Steady Hands]

Newbies Nest

Hi Twitt

Send you a private message and hope it helps you.
Your comment about your broken up marriage and biggest regret struck achord with me. I saw my dad wasting away after my mother left him. He never had another woman after cheating on my mother too many times! Ironic! It was like he tortured himself for the mistakes he made... It was horrible to watch.

An angry drunk... Well, I'm an angry sober person...

I would like for you to consider the dynamics that addiction plays in relationships. If you read back a few pages on this thread you'll see how loved ones interfere with many of our birds AF attempts. You are welcome to go and read my anger towards my family.

Family and intimate relationships mixed with AL addiction is something I leave aside for now, because it is too complicated. In many cases people preferred the drunk. Like me... I am bloody angry sober!!

Gonna say it and you decide if it works for you. You can only better your life by quitting AL and that is the best shot you'll have in restoring/healing the loose threads of your divorce regrets AND if your ex can't cope with the sober Twitt or doesn't want anything to do with you, then you are better off without that in your life.

Be kind to yourself and please tell us how you feel.

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Butt Velcro firmly in place Reckon I was trying to stick it on back to front before ? duh!

Day 3 ? check. And plan in place. Consists of good food, loads of water, supps, Lglut (not a great amount as I?m a little worried about stuff I?ve read about too much being scary bad for you), lots of yoga (including new mid-week class I found ? I always do Saturdays without fail, no matter what I?ve been up to ? my life saver), Tibetan 5 rites every morning and now up to 17 ? only 4 more to go for full routine and really seeing the changes in my body. I have some hypno CD?s to dig out ? one no smoking, although as I?m writing this I realise I haven?t even thought about one for 3 days ? yay! I know I have some others about health, spirituality, relationships etc and Holosync (must dig that one out) ? affects the nervous system and helps through any resistance may be holding onto. Lots of reading ? helps get me off to sleep, rather than lying there thinking, ?I can?t sleep?. Working for me at the moment.

Just read back about my fear of L-glut and realise how bonkers that is as I didn?t think twice about guzzling a bottle of vino (or 2 sometimes since I found MWO and knew I was about to give up ? go figure!) and a load of nicotine! Been leading the double life for years now ? on the one hand mega healthy with great food, supps & exercise, and then secretly by night, vino & fags!! Who is that person who kept taking over my body at nighttime?? Anyway told them to bugger off now!

Sorry for the long ramble.

MASSIVE congrats out to Ruin for 7, Unwasted for 30 and MrsG for 60. I know there are loads of nesters hitting great numbers and congrats to all of you too. :applaud:

PF ? really sorry you?re feeling low. The one thing you can know for sure is that things will change ? everything always does ? and you?ll be feeling great once again soon. :l

LolaB ? just read your post and like Unwasted, could have written that one myself. Thank you ? you put it so eloquently. :h

Night all

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

PF, it would be really hard to not share some of this with your SO in order for them to be able to understand - wishing you luck with that. Is being more open not an option? Sorry, I haven't read all your story, but it seems like you'd have to be able to share some informtion with your SO.

Byrdie, FF, SH and others - thanks for giving me kudos on being AF feeling great with my AF progress!

I saw the same things I think/say when I drink. Constantly looking for the next drink, looking for an excuse and a partner in crime.

Boy, can I relate to that quote..........

Wishing the best for all of you guys -

Twitt welcome.