New around here
Hi all
I'm new around here and I'm happy to say im about 18 days AF and Im pretty chuffed with myself.
Tomorrow may be a bit of a challenge as I have a christmas party where I'll be expected to be one of the heavier drinkers rather than the sober one but I'm looking forward to the challenge with almost reformist glee.
After that I have a family Christmas to get through, my wife's birthday and then I'm heading off to Hong Kong, China then Singapore, then a cruise through Thailand, Vietnam and back to Hong Kong - almost a month away where I can control my self without the day to day stressors that I often blame for my drinking.
Whoever recommended a1naturalhealth.com for kudzu delivering to Australia was spot on Within 4 days of ordering the planetary herbals kudzu was delivered.
I've followed MWO vitamin support to some extent - I cant easily get the brands or the powdered vitamins so have substituted with the major items and I have to say that I dont have any real cravings. I've looked at the recommended drugs and at this stage Ive decided against them for a few reasons. Firstly I'd be breaking a few laws here to use them and in my occupation that is unwise. Using a drug off prescription requires lying to doctors which tends to put you in a position where you will have difficulties later asking for help (what do you mean you don't suffer from epilepsy - I've had problems with insurance reports after being a little liberal with my symptoms in the past - lies tend to come back and bite you.
Secondly I really don't want to risk the possible brain addling effects of topamax. I get paid a hell of a lot of money for my "creative genius" and while every night I used to put my brain to sleep with copious amounts of alcohol, I really dont want to risk doing that with a non prescribed drug (or at least one not proscribed for my problems).
All these extra hours I have available these days have allowed me to do some serious reading and research. I actually really like the ideas behind the Sinclair method using naltraxone while drinking to rewrite the learned drinking behaviors. I had been prescribed naltraxone once before at a drug and alcohol centre that seemed to focus on heroin more often than alcohol. I might have been a drunk but I was a proud drunk and didnt want to associate with the other patients at that clinic - I kept getting flashbacks about high priced audio equipment that I had had stolen from my house as other patients joined me in the waiting room. Oh the arrogance of it all.
The concept of using Nal to turn off the opium receptors made more sense when actively drinking rather than using it to turn off everything enjoyable in my life (sex, food, adventure) except alcohol by daily dosage. But again here in Australia Nal is only available on government script, for people who have detoxed and are in a supervised treatment program. I chased up a couple of clinics who looked promising but they turned out to be a front for the cult that is AA (I have been to a few meetings in the past).
Now once you understand the brain chemistry stuff (I think I do a bit) then you start to understand that all the stuff that happens in your brain is controlled by your brain - we have total power over what do (unless you believe otherwise in which case you will certainly be right). So I've decided to use hypnosis to do the stuff that the chemicals otherwise would do but Ive decided to skip the side effects.
Over the last 10 years I have studied a lot of NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis. I have hypnotised people, helped them with depression and eating disorders, found trying to get smokers to stop to difficult (and smelly in my smoke free rooms) and to prove that I wasn't making all this up have hypnotized people to be as stiff as a board supported between two chairs resting only on their shoulders and calves (try that without hypnosis). I've induced a crowd of 80 people from stage and have been blown away with the results. But I've never really believed (or perhaps wanted to) use hypnosis on myself to control my drinking.
My wife who has similar training and clinical experience once hypnotized me to help me with a fear of heights. As a proof of its power I stopped being afraid to stand next to a building window and was able to throw my self off the Auckland skytower in a tethered freefall of 700 feet. I did it twice cause I could. This stuff works.
But there is some conflicts relying on a spouse to do something like this - and I didnt really believe I was good enough to do this myself after my lack of success helping smokers to stop smoking so I chose a clinical hypnotist working in this area. My aim was to turn off the dopamine receptors using the brain's subconscious rather than drugs.
I lucked onto someone who had a similar view of the world as me and we did some parts and trance work, some of which I remember. I'm keen to work towards moderate drinking rather than abstinance as I've found in the past that going cold turkey leaves you with a ticking timebomb of craving ready to pounce on you when you let your defences down.
In the same way that the sinclair method requires you to decide to drink, take the naltraxone and wait hour before the drink, I've been guided to decide that I will engage in 10 or 20 minutes of vigorous exercise, pumping up those dopomines before consuming wine with a meal. I've also added some like to dislike negative meanings for beer (here often known colloquially as "piss" - this meaning is a hell of a discouragement for me to partake) and spirits (for me "metho or metholated spirits - a form of cleaning methanol).
Now I'm not planning to experiment with moderation till on the cruise as I feel I need to be able to prove to myself that I can stay AF for 30 days ( and christmas isnt the greatest time to get around with a skin full). I have a follow up reinforcement hypnosis session in a weeks time but I've also been warned that I need to come up with a way of better coping with my stress if i'm to get long term benefits.
So I hope my story is of interest and I hope I havent taken up too much of your time and space here - if anyone is interested I'll provide updates on how I fare.
Swaggie
Comment