Newbies Nest

[lolab]

Newbies Nest

waving a quick hello! I have a houseguest and am super busy. I think Blondie was headed into a busy work weekend, so not getting too worried yet...:-)

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

Lav, the dinner went well thanks and I enjoyed saying "no" to the wine. What I'm realising however is that I've been preparing myself for going AF for sometime as I haven't seen drinking buddies for a long, long time. It's just been excess at home for me. In place of the drinking buddies I've been making new friends who don't have AL problems. If I have shared a drink with them, it's afterwards at home that I would have a "proper" drink, so none of them know I have a problem (double life thing). But mostly I don't drink with them.

Anyway, when offered wine today I said no thanks and had a tonic water. My friend didn't blink an eyelid. She and the other friend there had 2 glasses each with dinner and left some in the bottle. Weird!!! Also, they took AGES to drink them.

I haven't had the challenge of proper boozy event yet but not sure I'm ready for that. Rack up some more days first.

[timpin]

Newbies Nest

Hi Freefly

Good to see that you were able to turn that wine down without any problems. One of the problems that I had when I went to my first boozy event was that I thought that people would try and get me to have a drink. Exactly the opposite happened. Several friends actually congratulated me on stopping the booze ( real friends I think). Those who try to get you to just have the one are not friends at all, maybe they are just jealous because they cannot achieve it. I also worried that I would not enjoy myself without booze but again exactly the opposite happened. I had more fun that night than I could have imagined, drove home and no hangover the next morning. Also I remembered the whole evening, which was a first !

Because of my job, I have to stay away in hotels and there is always a bar. I am getting used to being surrounded by drinkers and don't find it a problem however I can imagine that others may as we are all different. Like you, I did most of my drinking at home in solitude and my worst worry was boredom. However I have found plenty to do in its place. Drinking long glasses of blackcurrant and soda is so refreshing. I started reading again and spend lots of time on the computer. Now I have got 44 days AF I am sleeping better than ever.

As you say, maybe you are not ready for attending the boozy event yet, but I believe that when you do take the plunge you should go there with a plan, stick to it and you'll be OK. One person here said a few weeks ago that he imagines what the day after the event will be like and works toward that. Just a thought. Anyway stay safe and enjoy the festive season.

[scottish lass]

Newbies Nest

It never ceases to amaze me how much of life I have centered around a drink. Irie - i so agree, in summer I would long for a cold glass of wine when out in teh garden, and I did not enjoy myself so much without it - I realise now I need to make new rituals/traditions etc. I just pulled all the presents out of the secret hole ready to wrap and automatically looked around for the drink - i have always been drinking when wrapping and it feels really hard to do this without. The desire has started to creep up at times when I don't expect it! I love liquor chocolates at Christmas and had a hard time not picking up some brandy filled beans today - got to stay strong! I am finding that when I try hard, I am succeeding - but it is when I am not expecting it, it is getting really tough!
Oh well - off to sober wrapping - had to take a break to check in here for my reality check!!

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Hi Everyone,

SL - I can relate to being hit at odd times with cravings. I don't have cravings so much as wistfulness for lack of a better term. But, I feel like the curtain has been pulled back exposing AL (like in the Wizard of Oz) and that all my romantic notions about alcohol are gone so that I can't consider going back. I've experienced the downside too often and know what's in store if I falter.

Tim - congrats on 44 days and aren't you lucky to have some real friends actually encouraging you on your not drinking rather than goading you to drink with them!

FF - good for you being able to have dinner with drinking friends and not crater. That's a tough one for me, but I've pulled it off twice now.

SH - have a wonderful vacation and stay strong.

Welcome Cellist!

Herbie - I miss the numbing effect too but as I wrote above, the jig is up, so there's nothing to do but learn some new coping skills. Hopefully we'll completely forget about AL as we get more time under our belts.

Irie - you are lucky to have hobbies. I think you'll learn to not associate them with Al eventually. At least you have things you like to do!

Twitt - just wanted to post a link to Kick the Drink. I read it and Easy Way. They are similar but I think Vale's book is much more current in the way it's presented (written more recently too). He delves deeper than Carr. I got something from both books but would definitely pick Vale's over Carr's. Here's a link:

Amazon.com: Kick the Drink...Easily! (9781845903909): Jason Vale: Books

Byrd, Lola and anyone else visiting - hope I didn't miss anyone - stay strong and have a great AF day/evening!!

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

timpin;1228819 wrote: Hi Freefly

Good to see that you were able to turn that wine down without any problems. One of the problems that I had when I went to my first boozy event was that I thought that people would try and get me to have a drink. Exactly the opposite happened. Several friends actually congratulated me on stopping the booze ( real friends I think). Those who try to get you to just have the one are not friends at all, maybe they are just jealous because they cannot achieve it. I also worried that I would not enjoy myself without booze but again exactly the opposite happened. I had more fun that night than I could have imagined, drove home and no hangover the next morning. Also I remembered the whole evening, which was a first !

Because of my job, I have to stay away in hotels and there is always a bar. I am getting used to being surrounded by drinkers and don't find it a problem however I can imagine that others may as we are all different. Like you, I did most of my drinking at home in solitude and my worst worry was boredom. However I have found plenty to do in its place. Drinking long glasses of blackcurrant and soda is so refreshing. I started reading again and spend lots of time on the computer. Now I have got 44 days AF I am sleeping better than ever.

As you say, maybe you are not ready for attending the boozy event yet, but I believe that when you do take the plunge you should go there with a plan, stick to it and you'll be OK. One person here said a few weeks ago that he imagines what the day after the event will be like and works toward that. Just a thought. Anyway stay safe and enjoy the festive season.

Hi Timpin,

44 days - amazing! Bet you feel fantastic. Early days for me but I know time passes really quickly so hopefully won't be long before I experience what that actually feels like.

It felt easy today because I wasn't with heavy drinkers - just "normal" people! As soon as I said no, I didn't think about it again and I really enjoyed being the same person when I left as when I arrived! Also, instead of taking a bottle I made dessert and took that. It was sooo much more appreciated than bottle of vino.

As for the boozy event, yesterday I was craving that kind of event. Not because I wanted to drink but because I wanted to be at one and not drink. Trouble is I seem to have cleared my life of heavy drinkers! It was only me left - that's when I realised I'd be prepping for this for a while. All I have to do is NOT drink and the life I want is just sitting there waiting for me. I know the time will come when I find myself around loads of booze and I hope I'll be ready. Liked what you said about enjoying your time in that kind of situation because that's been a worry of mine - would I be totally bored around drinkers?? I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Thanks too UW. You were a big inspiration to me when I first found MWO and I love your posts. Noted also how quickly you dusted yourself off recently and are right back in AFdom

[Irie]

Newbies Nest

scottish lass;1228858 wrote: I just pulled all the presents out of the secret hole ready to wrap and automatically looked around for the drink - i have always been drinking when wrapping and it feels really hard to do this without.

I had the exact same experience! In fact the urge was so strong I had to put off wrapping the gifts until the next morning. There was no way I could do it during the witching hour!

Speaking of the witching hour, it sure comes early on the weekends! Even though Sunday night is a work night, I always drank especially heavily on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Not going to happen tonight though!

Wishing everyone a safe AF night in the nest.

[FreeFly]

Newbies Nest

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER NESTER :bday7: :bday3: :bday2:

Hope your day's a special happy one :h

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Thanks but it's still the day before my birhday here :H

I am going out with my daughter, DIL & the 3 grandkids tomorrow to Longwood Gardens & to lunch so I'm looking forward to all that

Twitt, I know several books have been suggested already to you but I do recommend reading the MWO book! Just click on the 'Health Store' tab at the top of any page on the site here & you will find it. It was written by the woman who started all this for us.

So glad to hear everyone is doing well this weekend.
Sober holidays rock - just hang in there & you'll see for yourselves

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[swaggie]

Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters

22day AF but had some trouble staying that way yesterday. I wasn't going to give in but it was uncomfortable all the same and I kind of became pretty unsociable for the family group that came to my home. They had a moderate alcohol consumption - a 6 pack of beer some premix whisky and vodka drinks between 4 of our 20 something kids/step kids. Mother in law was down from country NSW for the first time in 2 years and while that could be a stressor, I was just distracted and wanted to be left alone.

After cooking a BBQ lunch, which was always associated in the past with too much drinking by me, I left them alone and did some work on my computer in the bedroom.

Im not really sleeping a lot - staying up later than Im used to - I'd usually be asleep in the chair with a half filled glass in my hand - dont know how you can sleep with a steady hand but I never woke up covered in my drink. I'm up after 1am so I took a herbal calmer/ sleeping tablet that seemed to do the trick.

I ordered some Nal from River Pharmacy to help me with my future use of the sinclair method. I felt guilty after and I thought I shouldn't assume that help was not available from local doctors so I decided that I needed to at least ask for the drug for a use that in Aus is a legal use of the drug - to help with cravings while trying for abstinance.

I was told by this doctor to use willpower. So I got what I expected - if you put out your intentions then your likely to get what you ask for. There is a real arrogance in the medical profession that should be curbed - When presented with a clear request for help you wonder where they think their duty of care is.

He came up with a suggestion that the drug couldn't be used by people with high blood pressure (I had at least got my BP scripts renewed before the "willpower prescription" for alcohol) but I cant find any specific contraindication on Nal and high BP. Indeed I found some anecdotal stuff that suggests that Low Dose Nal used for HIV actually reduces BP and that users have to reduce their medications accordingly.

Now I'm feeling some comfort with where I'm going - almost missionary zeal in ferreting out information. There was an interesting BBC Horizon program on TV tonight "do I drink too much" which poses many questions and provides few answers. Would never have noticed that one except for my decison 22 days ago

Cheers

Swaggie

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning Nesters!

Sunny & very cold in my portion of the nest today

Swaggie, good for you making it through a tough time with the doc & surfing the urge yesterday! Life goes on without AL ~ we need to learn to deal with it without altering our senses

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF day!
Have lots of plans to celebrate my BD with kids & grandkids today. AL is not invited

Lav

[Unwasted]

Newbies Nest

Swaggie - I'm a firm believer in being our own advocate - I have been led down the wrong path by doctors several times.

Lav, happy birthday! There is a celebration thread going on for you elsewhere.:l

And, I know some of you come directly to this thread, so I wanted to post the following here in case you missed it:

From Eckhert Tolle ? A New Earth/Awakening to Your Life?s Purpose
Addictions ? Page 246

A long-standing compulsive behavior pattern may be called an addiction, and an addiction lives inside you as a quasi-entity or sub personality, an energy field that periodically takes you over completely. It even takes over your mind, the voice in your head, which then becomes the voice of the addiction. It might be saying, ?You?ve had a rough day. You deserve a treat. Why deny yourself the only pleasure that is left in your life?? And so, if you are identified with the internal voice due to lack of awareness, you find yourself walking to the fridge and reaching for that rich chocolate cake. At other times, the addiction may bypass the thinking mind completely and you suddenly find yourself puffing a cigarette or holding a drink. ?How did that get into my hand?? Taking the cigarette out of the packet and lighting it, or pouring yourself a drink were actions performed in complete unconsciousness.

If you have a compulsive behavior pattern such as smoking, overeating, drinking, TV watching, Internet addiction, or whatever it may be, this is what you can do: When you notice the compulsive need arising in you, stop and take three conscious breaths. This generates awareness. Then for a few minutes be aware of the compulsive urge itself as an energy field inside you. Consciously feel that need to physically or mentally ingest or consume a certain substance or the desire to act out some form of compulsive behavior. Then take a few more conscious breaths. After that you may find that the compulsive urge has disappeared ? for the time being. Or you may find that it still overpowers you, and you cannot help but indulge or act it out again. Don?t make it into a problem. Make the addiction part of your awareness practice in the way described above. As awareness grows, addictive patterns will weaken and eventually dissolve. Remember, however to catch any thoughts that justify the addictive behavior, sometimes with clever arguments, as they arise in your mind. Ask yourself, Who is talking here? And you will realize the addiction is talking. As long as you know that, as long as you?re present as the observer of your mind, it is less likely to trick you into doing what it wants.

[windy]

Newbies Nest

Lav -- Today is your BIRTHDAY...SO SING...HAPPAY BIRTHDAY:bday3::bday1:

And since you are NOT my neighbor I will have to eat your cake...

Have a marvelous day and enjoy your lunch with the Family....

[Pinecone]

Newbies Nest

Happy Birthday Lavande!

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

Unwasted! That was a great quote. Leave it to the Southerner in me to condense those 2 eloquent and true paragraphs into one simple phrase...'NO, HELL NO!!! eheheh. Whatever you gotta do, is what you gotta do! Thank you for posting that, I am hoping to do some more reading from this author, as we seem to be of one mind.
Lav!!! Happy Birthday girl!!! Hope you have a wonderful day with your family...enjoy it, you are on 39 a few times!!! Much love, Byrdie